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emmaa 2d
maybe i'm not meant to be anything
maybe i'm just here to inspire the something
or maybe i'm as significant as a leave on the ground
once vibrant and green
now crushed beneath your feet
Astral 2d
Lately, I've felt nothing.

I mean it seems to always have been a little like this,
With hormones,
And pre-teenage years,
And stress,
But it's more lately.

I just feel so blank.
Like walking isn't walking anymore,
It's just a monotonous repetition.

Sometimes I don't feel that way though,
I get loud,
  And I feel I can finally hear myself,
I move,
  And it feels more than just monotony,
I goof around,
  And my face feels somewhat genuine,
And I feel something.

But it seems no one likes it when I'm like that.
No one likes me being loud,
No one likes to move around with me,
I don't think anyone likes goofing off with me much.

And I hate to admit,
That I really don't like people disliking me.
I hate to admit,
That I enjoy some other form of validation.

And so I stop.
No more hearing me,
No longer a break in the monotony,
No feeling like I'm funny,
Just back to nothing.

But it seems I never quite fall back to the same nothing,
Especially after feeling something.

I always fall back to a hollow nothing,
An empty nothing.
Somehow less of nothing,
While also seemingly feeling like its more nothing,
A deeper nothing,

Nothing.
I know its probably just another poem about something most people think or feel but I'm really glad I wrote it out.
pillow behind the back
back hurts
my heart is beating
from coming from fog

pillow behind the back
how the hammer knocks
pillow behind the eyes
how time is noisy

only noise around
noise noise noise noise
and nothing more

around only harp
sharp jet sounds
how my last year's cry

15.12.18
Another day, another ache
my mind is just a total blank
I punch these keys, to no avail
but won’t allow myself to fail
I feel so useless, feel so dumb
I struggle, but the words won’t come
a waste of space, a waste of time
I lost that spark I had inside

I used to have so much to write
sometimes it’d keep me up at night
now where it was, there’s just an ache
my mind is still a total blank
still punching keys, to no avail
another try, another fail
I’m such a failure, i’m so dumb
these ******* words won’t seem to come

a waste of time, a waste of space
my failure stares me in the face
or maybe at another time
I can put something in these lines
or maybe some good tunes would help
no, i’m just lying to myself
I lost that spark I had inside
my life is just a waste of time
Why do we fear the dark
Because there is so much it hides
All your fears, unwanted thoughts
All the emotions you despise
Darkness is the endless unknown
You can never explore it all
Maybe that's why when we try
It's much easier to simply fall
Because what point is it to find
A direction in a dark place
No matter where you go
You'll still end up in a defiant space
Where darkness engulfs you
If you end up losing your light
You'll wander and wonder endlessly
Because you have yet lack the sight
Why is it in darkness
We see nothing yet we assume
That demons hide and try to find
Our weaknesses to consume
I wonder why we fear
The lack of, that is nothing
We put our own interpretations
And now we fear that something
How quickly life can change around I'm
not sure which way
to turn or In which
direction I should
go, no matter what
road should I
chose
If I walk for long
enough, It will
eventually turn full
circle and I'll be back
to where
I stand
Without having even gained but also
nothing will have
been lost and I'll just
carry on as
before
With no more lost and
no more gained to forever
stay the
same
I've have nothing to lose but maybe all to gain but at the worst I'll just stay the
same
OMDB Dec 10
I finally stepped inside and its beautiful
I do not feel anything anymore
Not pain, not sorrow, not grief
Not joy, nor happiness, nor love
And with each and every minute I am inside
I slowly am becoming a void myself
I want to make it easy on others
And just cut all of them off completely
But that would just leave a bad taste in their mouth
Especially this time of year
So can I even guarantee a 2019?
Emily Dec 8
plagued in the uncertainties of new beginnings,
it's hard to know who 'we' are when you are someone different
they had promised me forever and that obviously didn't happen
but somehow this is worse,
going day to day with no affirmation
I would rather you lied just like they did
Bullet Dec 8
I've fallen in before
I couldn't breathe beneath the ocean
Suffocated in lovey sea salt
Taste bouldering over my sense to see

          
Drowning


I've fallen from high-lights
Grace lead me here to highlight
  Life above the surface
I, face to face with the Lord almighty


Praying


Clips of the past eclipsing my vision
Light-shows roads to heavens gates
Meteor showers shows stars die in pieces
Meters can't keep my time from ticking


Ticking

Nothing
On my back
Nothing
To worry about

Nothing

Nothing to look forward too
My past will be this worlds presents...
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