I suppose it's alright if you don't reciprocate.
I am deeply familiar with the inner workings of love and hate.
More than you think, I understand your position.
Is one I've been in, and don't find myself missing.
Just know I'll be there for you.
I'll know when and when not to care for you.
When to share with you.
And if you leave.. I might despair... I'll miss you.
However, don't let my pursuit of happiness derail yours.
Nor should I change your details or more.
I guess my path is to help create your happiness.
Even if I'm not in that, it's none the less.
All I ask is that you consider.
I've grown around all breeds.
When I see one, I know an elixer.
I might not be yours, however, that doesn't mean YOU don't fulfill MY needs.
I'm sorry for any pain or conflict.
I'm sorry that I'm not gone yet.
I'm sorry that I must fulfill my promise.
I am NOT sorry for how I feel.
This is real, unfiltered and unfettered.
Perhaps this way is really better.
I don't expect I or you to change.
Please know, I Am NOT just another page.
Nor another paragraph.
And perhaps I'm being brash...
I don't think so.
I'd ask for chapters or a novel written by your pencil.
And maybe I'm drunk.
Possibly I'm dumb.
Certainly I'm numb.
But That's why I can't ignore this feeling I call love.
Fuck it. I am dumb.
Probably means what I feel is wrong.
I must be just like the others, shuffling along.
Wanting something that I wish was mine but wasn't all along.
I mustn't know your true needs and wants.
Otherwise I wouldn't feel this incessant need to talk.
I want to delve deeper, trust me I do care.
I don't trust people willy nilly, just here and there.
Maybe I don't know what I need.
Possibly you don't either.
But you're the only one whose got me writing poetry.
So I will die in this battle, because I am a true fighter.
I see the marks on your arm, on your body.
I have them too... by another name, on my soul.
You aren't nobody.
I want you to know.
For me loyalty and trust are king.
You should know, that's why I haven't made a scene.
I have too much respect, even if sometimes it seems unseen.
Truly, I am sorry... I do believe.
Like a true scorpio... Complicated, that's what I am.
I don't expect, or necessarily want you to understand.
If I believe you, you should me.
I'll be those singular tracks in the sand.
Listen, dudette... I know you prefer that.
I wouldn't do that...
That being: whatever... whomever hurt you.
I only want to learn from you.
So please... Get your shit together.
Quit fucking around.
Stay in my head.
Because I enjoy having you around.
Is it selfish of me to ask this?
Maybe not theoretically, possibly in practice.
If you're still unsure to whom I'm bleeding my heart out with all this talking...
All you'll have to do is count the number of quatrains... Truly this is what I mean... even if you're only...
I know you told me not to get attached, because you might have to leave. I'm still not sure what the full meaning of that was. This wasn't easy for me to write. Expressing how I feel doesn't come easy to me. I hope you understand that. You came into my life by surprise. I wasn't expecting anything like this. Yet, I have no regrets. I feel like I've found my muse. I mean, shit, you've got me writing fucking poetry. I'm not sure if you get how out of character this is for me. No matter what I've said in the past, you are the 5th on my list. And you know exactly what I mean by that. That's no small matter either. I've meet many people in my life, and none have made me feel the way I do now, let alone without any physical connection. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then I apologize for that. However, I will not... no ... cannot, apologize for how I feel about you. Fuck I'm dumb.