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droplets of water are suicidal today,
walking over open windows,
one by one,
Flying for the last and first time,

It feels like an unusual rainy day,
the day shining bright as it always does,
but still it seems that water it's falling,
along with strings,
along with parts of my broken heart,

once they coexisted,
one with the other,
made each other strong,

but know,
the droplets of water are suicidal again,
and i can't seem to get them to stop.
Have you ever cried in a school bathroom?
Slumped against the disgusting walls
Covered in unidentifiable substances
Put your head on your knees and bawled your heart out?

The first one to notice will take five minutes
To work up the courage to knock on the stall door
She’ll be really tentative and soft voiced
And her red Converses will be untied.
Honking your nose, you reassure her you’re fine.

The second one to notice will be more aggressive
She’ll dismiss your placating and convince you to open the door.
And you’ll sit together; One with a runny nose and the other with open arms.
She’ll hold you as you weep loudly and calm you with her southern twang.
But, when the bell rings, she’ll leave behind the smell of citrus and ghost warmth.

The third one to notice will be a quiet brunette who disappears
And accompanying her will be a very concerned counselor.
Instead of your sobs echoing on tile, it’ll be muted by her brown office carpet.
You’ll be surrounded by cheesy quotes and fluffy pillows
Seated on a worn-down blue couch that’s as sad as you,
Your heart hasn't stopped breaking and your tears still haven't stopped falling.
do you feel it, I wonder
buzzing, tingling, magnetic..
drawing us closer together
ive forgotten what it feels like
to just exist with you
the thought alone
making my eyes salty
coming up for air
just to inhale you
and every memory,
too
Taking a deep breath is hard when your neck is being squished. And your eyes are wet, painted with tears.
I hate holding them back. The “crying breath” I have is uneven. ‘I’m just sniffling!’ type of sniffles, as if there’s not snot running up and down my nostrils.
I get in a steaming hot shower; not wanting to bathe, but wanting to escape. Watching beads of water hit my raised skin calms my heartbeat, but also gives me a sense of sadness. When you’re sad, you start to notice little things like the pattern of your breath, the serious line spread upon your lips when someone tells a joke in hopes of cheering you up, the gulps you take, and your milky, glazed eyes staring blankly back at you in the mirror you haven’t cleaned in weeks because you didn’t have enough energy to walk up and down the stairs to get the cleaner and to put it back. You start to pretend. You pretend to love, and to hate. You hate the world and everyone so much, but only because you are hurting and you don’t want to hurt others by letting them in, or them to hurt you too.

Nonetheless, you hurt anyway.
draft
I'm currently in the library;
Earbuds in,
Drowning out all else that doesn't matter

Thoughts swarm like wasps
Going from my brain,
Through my blood,
And attacking my heart

I sob from the pain
And the memory of you
So I avert my gaze,
And keep my head low
Because I mustn't show weakness here
For this school and society is survival of the fittest
And every individual's soul is an animal

I walk among bears and jaguars that'll tear me apart
Killing me slowly with words and jokes
For that I must remain unnoticed

So I wipe away the tears
And stifle my sobs,
Put on my disguise, casting shadows on my emotions
While I stand back,
Letting my wasp-like thoughts rot my heart
I don't even know what this is so I doubt it makes sense so, sorry.
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
"Moving is like dying"
Empty pasts haunt
the reborn body.
Minds colaps and form
new beautiful butterflies.
The more moving,
the more broken wings.
The butterflies stop flying
and start crying.
The hottest tears
for all the years.
The future becomes terrifying.
I wouldn't hurt so much if you had told me first.
Common decency seems hard to come by these days.
The hardest thing, I think, is having to pretend like every time I hear her name paired with yours,
My heart doesn't implode just a tiny bit further.
'I love you' would be a ***** lie.
I adore you, through and through.
I would hold your hand as you led me through the darkest pits of ****,
Or maybe just a little too far off the beaten track of the woods.
Catching your eye across the room gives me an empty pain, which has replaced the rushing thrill you gave to me before.
When we talk, you drop the loving notes that used to precede our 'Goodnights'.
You pretend like we never happened.
You pretend like you didn't leave me stranded in the woods.

You pretend you don't love me anymore,
Liar.
Lost Soul Oct 11
I want to move on , but you
Always text something sweet
Just when I'm about to
Remember, you became distant
You made me feel
Like you didn't even care about my existence
I get it, I hurt you
But don't you see?
I was hurt too
Your ghost still haunts me
It follows me in my dreams
Why cant you let me be
I wake up thinking things changed
Then everything hits hard
Like I'm a target in a gun range
I'm bleeding , but no one can see
I'm crying , but no one is there
I'm screaming, but no one hears me

Cant you see I need to move on ?
No more mixed messages or imaginary future
I can look upon
Stop following me in my dreams
Giving me false hope
Leave me alone, let me be
I have to keep you on red
Because if I don't  
I wont be able to get out of bed
I needed you , but you weren't there
Now I'm just skin and bones
Gutted , left bare
One day when I'll look back
I'll just see when I gained
Not what I lacked
But for  now I need to move on
I changed your name
My midnight snacc is gone
**For anyone who might not know, leaving someone on red is a snapchat term.
It means you didn't open their snap so there still is a red box by their name**
sky Oct 10
When I leave, I hope you think about
all the things I told you
that you didn't
believe
and when you call and say you miss me
I hope you see me from the past
crying on my bedroom floor
because I felt that
the one person who always loved me
didn't anymore.
Anne J Oct 9
Silked lips
Below black drips
Wilted snow
Around an upturned nose
Another sophomore poem. Jesus, last year, I sure wrote a lot of depressing poems. I was gonna add more, but I feel like the shortness makes the message of a sad female perfect, especially the black drips representing mascara ruined by tears. It also feels a tad Japanese female crying out her makeup lol.
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