Scared
Of
Every second
Of
Every minute
Of
Every day
Spend a lot of time in areas of gray
Moved to the margins, before getting lost in the fold
Waiting for the one bump in the road
A proverbial tale retold
The one thing
That ends every dream,
That costs everything
Leading back too a familiar nothing
Because why?
Because I
Have
Never been perfect
I've
Never been worth it
I've
Never been proven different
I'm
Not worthy of any of it
I beg constantly,
Prove me wrong
Somebody,
Anybody,
Is there nobody?
Not a single soul
Willing and able
Too prove the fable
Let me
At least see
How it'd be
Too belong
Family
Friends
Lovers
Maybe even an enemy or two,
Prove I was wrong thinking no one would come along
I've put my desperate plea in a song
With compassion in the composition
The right music hits the heart strings some
Just grasping for leverage, eyes fixed on the sun
I don't want to want to be wrong
But the list can't really be zero people long
Don't let that be the conclusion I land on
So fuuckin' lie to me...
I don't know if I can count on another day
With my own truth hanging over me
That no one claims too see
Woe is me

©2014

No
That's fine
Just continue to lie to yourself
I
Don't mind
I've already removed myself
Proof there's still a wealth of self worth hidden in mental health
I take my love from it's urn then place that, empty, back on the shelf

©2024

Why do I hold on

To the stranger's perception

Of who I should be

It's a long shot but I have to hold out hope
That someone, somewhere out there is rooting for the loser 'cause I'm running out of rope
And at the end of that rope is no place to find a future
Spoiler
You'll only ever find the end there
I know I'm not going to win, will never be of note
There's never been anyone at the end cause I'm not worth sticking around for through thick and thin...
...I know
I'm the one making that almost impossible
My minds a riddle, my past is a hurtle
Im the worst one man show showman
I don't choose to be alone
I try to build a home
But I can't afford land that's not sand
So my foundation can never be as strong as I hope I am
As competent as I need to be to be the man I want to be
It's sad to know that man will never be seen...
...fade to black...
...end scene.

©2024

I’m not sure when it happened or even why
But one day I came to the realization
That I will always be the last pick.
Always be replaceable.
Always too much or not enough.
Problem is- I think it’s my fault.
Perhaps I’m the only one who finds
Such little worth in me.

-ARI

You are too good
To be someone's second choice
An option,
A backup plan,
An indecision,
A 3 am call.

Choose people
Who choose you,
Who celebrate you,
Who prioritize you
Every day.

If you're going to wait
Make sure it's
Worth it
By
Making sure
There's
No need
Keeping track of
The
Time
You are
Waiting