Helena 6h
I crave fire
My chest ignites the flame
The desire to burn
What belongs to me; My life
My feet carry me through the flames
A flame for every regret
Every prayer that went out my mouth
Just to fall at my feet
I will pour gasoline on every floor board
And wipe the dust of the footsteps
Of the people that stood still
I will turn my pain into a pile of ashes
And cradle it in my hands
To feel what it is to hold my pain
Instead of letting it hold me
I will let the light of the fire guide me out of the shambles
And to a place where my name exist only in my head
Where the smoke that will paint the sky
Will come out of my lungs
And the flames that swallowed the sorrow
Will flicker in my eyes
and the days passed by
and the light above the fireplace burned
and did not burn
and the candle flies into the sky
where are my eyes

and the days passed by
and the twilight seized me
o uncertain vague
o let me go
at the will of the bird

mc ish 11h
you cannot give me love
incapable am i of holding back
i am an ocean dammed
damned forever to feeling far too well or none at all
i taste a drop of embers and i become desperate
to set myself ablaze
to extend myself beyond paths of all i know
i want and need and crave your retched touch
your wrecking fate
tear me apart like wolves ravaged for fulfillment
i hope you learn that i do not love in halves
fuck my aspirations
i only care for you.
my heart is a cave
an isolated cove where
she could stay
after the world shove
her to a hell
the comfort
is in my place
she would weep
her tears and
break to pieces
while i fix
her gears
to leave in the
because every night
the flower will
burn within
2000 volts of warmth
but still
she would come back
whenever the
oxygen kills
supply her not with
electricity bills
my heart is a cave
an isolated cove where
she could stay
after the world shove
her to a hell
the comfort
is in my place
Tharuki 18h
Her eyes burned with pain
as she cried out the tears
but these tears were different
they held all the feelings
she had bottled up inside
and as she broke down
she knew this was the last time
that these burning tears
would escape her eyes
she knew
that her decision was
That everything was killing her
and she needed the pain to stop
to stop burning her alive
and to her eyes
there was only one was to resolve it
and that was
to end it.
FunSlower 23h
When Fire met Ice
time froze in the heat of the moment.

The clock can only click again
when the flames face the sun.

While the tide pulls tight,
wishing for an endless, silent night,
true flames can only burn bright for one.

Lights out, or sun over gun?
Melt me.
still I find to feel
my arms swing
my hands clamber over
as my fingertips hastily wrap round the letters of his name.
which ink refuses to write

until it forgets his face, though sees how my eyes shot rays
of iridescent blue
and feels how my stomach would indulge to engulf my heart
until it was shredded and pure.
erased and framed back into its place when it gave up.

those letters bleed through the paper and I toss it into fire
they age and crumble
ashes settle but blow.

and I find them on my palms,
which reminds me...
12 july
1:09 okay
One thing I know about life is that
                                when people are treated lesser than
                                  what they are continuously, they will
believe it.              
And I know how much worse it is
                                             for those who struggle with their mental    
                                          health. Bad treatment is enough to push
     them over the edge.

                  Yet I'm still here, and I ask for what              
                                        and why. I'm emotional, naive, and tend
                                    to over-apologise. I do and don't trust,
                                         I can be wise and stupid. I live, I want to

live but I'm scared to really live.
                                      And now I'm here, on the bench, feeling so
                                   hopeless. Like I can't be who I want to be.
                                        That I'm not worthy of doing what I want to
                                      do. And I go through that train wreck of      
                                       emotions - feeling depressed and anxious    
                                     and fearful and angry and emotional and  
                                         crazy and judgemental and nonsensical            
Just hopeless, just hopeless, JUST HOPELESS!

                            ...I won't lie, there are days where I lie on            
                                         my bed or sit on the bench thinking why I
                                      was placed here. There are days where I
                                        want to end it all, that I was only hurting
                                   myself by breathing but I realised two

                              Ending my own life would be a                      
                             permanent answer to a temporary
                                   problem. Just like the good times, the
                                          bad won't last forever, even if there are    
                                times where it feels like it's endless.

                                 Could I really go over to that edge,                  
                                           not knowing what life would have been
                                           like if I had just pushed through? If I had
                                         stood strong with my sword and shield?
                                            That's a question that I know the answer  
                                             to, hence why I never had the will to see it through.              
And I know that I never will.

          Truly I am my own worst enemy...
                                           But I hope that You will heal and complete
                                          me. I can feel it, the hope, growing, burning
                                         in me. Hotter and truer than ever, burning
                                        away all the seeds of sin, the thorns of hate
                                        that hold me down. I can feel, I see you sit
                                         by my side.  I am not alone, nor will I ever be.

And I thank you for the flame of true Hope that burns in me.
Ok, this is another poem close to home. This was excruciatingly hard to write but I wanted to share this. Writing this made me really sit down and look at myself so the fact that it's ranty and kinda jumbled is intentional. It was me showing you my mindset. It's weird. I watched a few videos that seem to speak down to my very soul. I've been crying for no reason in-particular, been really reflective and frustrated. But through it all, I feel a little different. I feel a fire in my heart (as cliche as it sounds) and I feel like, I'm finally awake. I dunno why but I'm feeling really really hopeful now.
My mood is not as low, thank God, and I'm grateful.
Now it's just about putting the fire to good use.
Hope, The Mer in Me and Phoenix especially have been great releases emotionally speaking (I'm not neglecting my other poems)
I'm glad I got it out of my system, most of it anyway.
To Pagan Paul, thank you for your support and all your messages, they were very helpf
Don't be just dick or pussy.
Trust, shit gets old real quick.

When you wonder why nobody wants more than that.

Especially when there's options and people always have them. Morals and Ethics delay that.

Be more.
Have substance.
Switch the norm up.

People are fickle and there's always someone out there with either completely better qualities and skills or unique skills you are unable to obtain.

Dont stand at the shore and not make waves.

Be the kindling that makes that fire burn bright, you know?

And if you don't understand what the fire is, that could be another reason.

Because it's possible for any light to go out.

Don't let it get to the point where you have to cup your hands to keep away the final breeze that takes it out.

If you get it, you get it.
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