Words have a strange way of ignoring me
when I need them most.
They fade into the folds of blankness
blaspheming the truth of my reality.

Sheepishly I stare at the laptop screen,
hoping it would crack open
to gift me the word
that decodes the dilemma of my existence.

I sometimes find myself wondering what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. Would I be the person I am now? Would I have more freedom? Would I have less freedom? Would I be happier? Would I be sadder? I tend to think that we are put in certain situations to test our strength and our abilities to either move on or give up, BUT now I'm not so sure... Are we being tested? Are we being watched? Are our lives being planned out as we speak? So many questions and very little answers.  Maybe we are supposed to live the pros and cons of life but maybe I'm just over thinking.

Abuse doesn’t have to be a punch in the face or a kick to the throat
it can be words that tie a noose around your neck and bruise your inner being
“You're a liar”
"I wish you looked like that”
It’s so easy to walk away, turn your cheek
But the fire within me is dying and I’m turning to dust

I'm burying my own words as best I can,
but as soon as I have set the ban,
down in a hole beneath filthy tongues
twisted from lies and sour-breathed pulling,
you make my blood boil.

You whisper about me, I can hear it,
behind the book shelf,
between the narrow isles of stories.

This place could offer me sanctuary,
but you came along,
and you are every noise, breath, sight and smell.
I cannot read, you are always over my shoulder.

I might collapse here and hope someone does not see me.
Am I overwhelmed or bitchy?
Am I lonely or needy?
Truly, I must ask, are things in me or are they part of this library?

for some people, love is still pure and good
something you'd never think could
do you harm
the comforting arm
around one's shoulder
growing special as one grows older
i envy those who still are in love
those who still get butterflies
the stars in their eyes
the ones who bubble over and blush
as their blood rushes through their veins
those who have yet to feel the pain of true love

they say you don't know what true love is
until that person rips your heart out
leaving you to bleed out
all over the floor
and nothing in the world
could ever be more true.

first you think you'll never find love again
after your true love comes to an end
you're a goner, your mind wanders and you ponder
the thought of dying alone when you're old
you're sold that that is your destiny
then the anger rushes through you

you hate the person who was your everything
who is now your nothing
you wish hell upon them
as your stomach turns
you want their body to burn
the way your heart burned for their touch
you could never get enough, fuck
here you go again

you start to feel the sadness
feels like madness
wondering how long it will last, it
doesn't forever I promise
you just need to let the tears out
no matter what you're crying about
don't keep it inside
or after some time
you will feel like a bomb waiting to explode
even though
you don't want them to see
how bad you are suffering

for some people, love is still pure and good
but for me, it is ruined for good.

By Arcassin Burnham

Possibly in a dire situation I can up and fill a void
passing out at every lie and joke you ever told
when the good times go , they go and never leave your head
but that was so long ago,
memories are dead,
we used to kiss and we used to touch and we used to fear The Break-Up,
pausing that every mere chaos burning inside my soul
for I was never the one to cause the problem, here just behold,
dead memories come back to haunt and love,
they fade almost instantly like a flock of doves,
I'm too good to be in parties or clubs,
when I had my ex I wasn't even a scrub,
they were a waste of time so I gave up.

Why I do always choose wrong?
Why I do I give some of my love to have them
give it back?
Why did I always choose the wrong race?
To build a family and make a new life with,
Why I do always choose wrong?
Why I do I give some of my love to have them
give it back?
Why did I always choose the wrong race?
To build a family and make a new life with.