Asonna 10h
Scared.
Moments are scary.
The moments that catch your breath,
Paused.
Motionless time.
Feel the air in your lungs.

Love.
Love is scary.
Consuming potential destruction.
Breathe.
They love you.
Let yourself give in.

Words.
Words are terrifying.
They're either nothing or everything.
analyse.
They mean it, don't they?
Don't take it to heart.
They're broken..

Faith.
It's not always there.
We search for hope in something higher,
but only when we believe.
Hold on, give it time.
even if it's not there.

Me.
I'm scared.
I don't believe, I bail.
when things get rough it's better to run.
Protect myself of oncoming damage.
I'm broken..

Sorry.
moments are scary.
feel the air in my lungs
but when i breathe, it's trauma.
Unbearable pain.
Suffocation.
...
I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately without an element of venting it out. I'm just terrified of everything, all the time and i can't help that. I'm scared of breaking a shell to get hurt in the end because the damage over time is so significant i cant breathe without experiencing pain anymore.

It hurts.
Bella 11h
Sometimes I get stuck in this state of Darkness
where my eyes can see things
but it's like my head is just pitch black
and I almost wish I couldn't see anything,
like I wish I could just curl myself into a ball so tightly that I disappear from space for a while

sometimes I get stuck in this space
and I feel like my tears and my thoughts
are climbing up my esophagus and clogging my throat
blocking my airway
suffocating me from the inside

maybe I never told you I was depressed because who wants to relive that moment
that choking hazard moment of cotton balls in my throat

maybe I never told you I was depressed because there are no words I can use to describe it that don't transform themselves into their meanings
that don't take over my mind
crawl through my head like little worms
eating away at my brain
my thoughts
my skin

have you ever thought of a traumatic experience and then felt those events happening again
felt the dark hole of life-threatening-trauma attack your mind
and your body
like it was a demon that you let in through a memory-
through a word

maybe I didn't tell you I was depressed
because I wasn't strong enough
my depression fills me to the brim
fills my head and my chest
my arms and my fingers
I can feel it moving through my body
I can feel it expanding and engulfing everything inside of me
every last vein, nerve, organ, and tissue
how can you expect me to have the energy to fight
how can you expect me to have the energy to pick up the phone
to open my mouth
how can you expect me to have energy-to have the courage to utter the words of how I feel
I feel so worthless
in those moments I feel like there's this black whole inside me and it's consuming everything
it's taking everything but my skin
and it disgusts me

can you imagine the feeling having something so utterly gross on your skin you had to scrape it off immediately
It felt like you needed to be cleaned
like you needed a shower
take that feeling
now imagine it being under your skin
imagine every muscle organ vein nerve every cell in your body underneath your outer layer of skin disgusted you
imagine all you wanted to do was GET
IT OFF
and you can't
no matter how hard you try
you can't scrape it off
you can't claw It off

imagine you're scared of spiders
now imagine you're covered in spiders
and someone's holding down your arms
so you can't get them off
imagine them walking into your mouth
crawling on your open eyes
in your ears
you're cringing at your own skin
You can feel them going down your throat
Their disgusting tickle in your stomach
in every crevice of your body
their tunneling under your skin
and you can't get them off
what are you supposed to do
but cry
I can feel it
Running through my veins
Every inch of my being
Is screaming for this.

My worst enemy
It has returned
About to cause chaos
Upon everything it sees

My fist curls
My jaw clenches
My breath quickens
My heart pounds

I am about to burst
Something I don't wanna be
Someone they will fear
A monster hidden
In the darkest pit
I suffer from generalized anxiety
and I just want people to understand it
but mental illnes is frowned upon by society
Some days I'm fine but I must admit
I'm always just teetering at the edge of sobrietry

I know it's never going to go away
But I can try my best to forget the pain
Always trying to keep it at bay
But always in vain

walking around in a circle
trying to learn from my mistakes
at the pace of a turtle
at night my thougts still keep me awake

I'm really not depressed
but I'm not happy either
I have this anxiety pressing at my chest
And sometimes i just need a breather

I'm constantly told to get it together
to pick up some courage and do things
But that's like telling someone not to be cold in freezing weather
And more anxiety is all that it brings
I was so worried and concerned about how my story would turn out.
Or what new story that we could make.
But of course, due to my selfish nature, I forgot about yours.
Your story, and how it will play out.

You tell me your tale and the world you live in.
I’m already so frightened that I just don’t quite fit in it.

I hear your stories of entanglement and the things you deal with.
Of course, I want to help and give you what I can.
But as much as I want to be, I am merely not apart of it.

And I don’t think you want me to be.

Maybe it’s cause you’re scared.
Maybe it’s because you don’t actually care.
Maybe you don’t see this lasting more than the summer.
Maybe, maybe, maybe, and maybes are what my story is becoming
filled with.

Now I’m starting to think the worst,
my head filled with thoughts, and
now horrified I want to cut this off and
say I’m doing what’s best for me.

So I can save myself from you hurting me.
But that’s just my side of the story, I genuinely wonder
what’s yours?
so yeah here's that. A poem I wrote about my summer romance. Will it last longer? Whoooooooooo knows.
Famous last words of none too famous,
But believe me, you could never find a more universally understood statement.

he dust after your parent's car drops you off for college,
The midnight walk to gas with hollow car behind you,
The cut of a chord when quitting a cinder block job, swimming for the surface of life,
The three words that bare all to one in hopes of like reply,
Or the final breath of a life full or empty of itself, death takes no favorites.

Onwards and upwards,
Who knows what's next,
Here goes
Heart pounding
Hands shaking
b r e a t h e

Palms sweating
Still faking
b r e a t h e

Brain frying
Lips drying
Still trying
b r e a t h e...b r e a t h e...b r e--

...I can't breathe.
Kat 4d
Her
When I met her
I was in a dark place
She made me feel better
alone with her I felt safe

When I met her
I fell in love easily
Me and her alone
protecting me in isolation furiously

Her's was the fear
but I knew why I had to be scared
the danger was clear
I wasn't meant to be shared

But hidden in front of everyone's eyes
better still behind closed doors
safe and sound and internally screaming
my lively body lying dead on barren floors

When I met her
to love her felt so right
easier yet but to walk amongst strangers
simpler yet to swallow all forsaken pride

Since I realized that I loved her wrong
that I only grew fond of her protection
I started taking her out on walks
I've written her a heartfelt song

"I love you dear,
you are my fearful guardian
and I thank you for reminding me
to keep an open eye, to always look for the hidden scorpion
Let me find comfort in you
when I know being terrified
makes less a fool out of me
but only a soul less traveled, barely petrified.

In my way of loving,
let me find my kind of freedom
I don't need you solving

Anxiety. "
Totally freestyled this. Might change it later. Let me know what you think.
I am sinking,
In a ocean so big,
Nobody will find me,
An ocean so deep,
My only friend is the dark,
I can't tell you,
I know you love me enough to rescue me,
But you can't,
Without sinking like me.
I am fine,
Until the darkness swallows me whole.
If you're sinking please contact me, I want to help.
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