my feet are pounding the ground
but it feels like im flying
my heart is beating like drums
but i can't feel it at all
all i know is that im a few steps away from freedom
can my feet take me there?
maybe i can leap to it
i can't fail
i need this
i need to be free
i want my own air in my lungs
no, not want
i need to be free
As the student doodles dreamily,
On sheets of notebook paper,
Surrounded by young beautiful women,
First, loves to be found,
As well as,
Friends all around,
New ones to be made,
And old faces as well,
A goal to be reached,
Spoke about in media,
In cartoons and dramas,
Speaking with futility,
When one is there one wants only to go,
When one finally escapes the system,
A new one boldly appears,
And one finally realizes,
That youth was a bliss, a gift,
No amount of work can bring back to light,
A sobering aspect,
Ship in the harbor, I’m leaving today
the sails are set,
I don’t know yet
where it’s going to stay.
Across the crystal water, I’m leaving today
the only place I know I’m going
is that I’m going away.
All the people at the station living out their day
I go to wander and pray,
I wonder if any of them
have felt this same way.
When my trains pulls from the station I’m going away
Far from all the things I’ve known,
I need to get away.
When I’m gone
will it make a difference?
If I don’t come back
would you remember me?
Speakers at the airport calling meaningless names
I don’t care if it’s mine,
to me they’re all the same.
Pain grows smaller with runway lines, to the sky we take
just to get away.
If I flew too high,
would you look to the sky for me?
If the ship went down,
would you look to the sea?
New city every day, finally I am away
I don’t speak the language,
I have nothing to say.
Life can be good whe you get away,
replaced with the longing
to find somewhere to stay.
I'm waiting to get sick
so I can die without doing it myself
without a mess, lying in a bed
with the blankets tucked in around my head
I think I might be sick
or maybe I'm just being hopeful
that this will be over quick
maybe they could catch it early if I cared
but it's very hard to see myself anywhere
but lying down, somewhere dark and underground
or maybe in a jar on someone's shelf
-- who am I kidding, I'm a closet girl