I felt lonely lately,
everything seems so sad.
Where does the sun go,
When he’s not in the sky.
Does the moon know,
Or does she just cry?
Shadow friends dance at the edge of my vision
Somehow I convince myself that I'm with them
We smile and laugh but I'm still empty
Somehow I'm lonely when you're here with me
My rainbows fade into cloudy grey
I'm begging my shadow friends to stay
But night will fall and take you from me
And I will remeber that I am lonely
I'll walk in the dark, where I cannot see
And think up thoughts which swallow me
I'll bend until I break, like I'm made of glass
Good things placed in my hands do not last
My shadow friends are gone, and I'm all alone
My life is built up in this shadow home
Where I let tears fall, and I wallow in my pain
How I wonder what it feels like to be sane
For fifteen years you were my home.
For fifteen years you kept me from the rain.
You were there when my parents were late at work.
You were there when I needed a place to love.
You were there when I needed a place to call home.
You were my friends.
You were my family.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me happiness.
You taught me that I could call you home.
And you were the one who slammed the door in my face.
And over again.
You said you wanted this to be a place of inclusiveness,
and you were the one who made me feel alone.
So often was I there when you cried.
So often did you say you were proud of me.
So often did you call me a friend.
But that's not what you showed me.
From you I learned pain. From you I felt alone.
And you said no one was ever alone.
For fifteen years I called you my home.
But you never were.
And now I say goodbye.
Now I leave.
You gave me a rose, but I left with thorns.
And I thank you for that.
I thank you for the love.
I thank you for the friends.
I thank you for the family.
But just because you gave me my family;
does not mean you were mine.
You changed, and not for the better.
I sit here in this jacket.
Your name stitched across the top.
My real family in my pocket.
Thank you for the memories, but
I will not forget.
I will never forget how I felt when I left.
in the middle
of the crowd
is where I feel
they ask me
about the weather
and I tell them
of my storm.
theres a tornado
in my head,
in my heart.
they look at me
i'm an alien
in their eyes.
Oceans blue and waters deep;
adventure hides while i seek.
Vast clean space that doesn't age-
Yet, ever changing as a wave.
The world is out for me to find,
full of nature’s undefined.
The world, she calls and beckons me-
persuading me gently out to sea.
Awake, aging and alone.
Tortured by only two of these things
Search to fill the void
Mindless streams from tiny screens
So empty it hurts