She's tired of being a doll.
She no longer wants to be locked in a drawer with her pale pink dainty lips pressed against the ceiling of her rose-petal scented nightmare chamber.
She's old news now, Julie is the one to they all dote over, her hair's a shade lighter and glossier and her little boots are a more brilliant pink. Julie's dress isn't frayed like Arleta's, the flowers on the new doll's dress are more detailed and eye-catching.
Julie's perfumed with lemon and jasmine, Arleta used to smell of roses plucked at dawn after rain, now the once-sweet scent is toxic and she can't escape it.
She met a boy-doll once; Marr.. he looked at her as if she was a ship freshly painted and awaiting her maiden voyage over apple-green seas. Her tiny china heart had flipped that day and then never beat with such lovestruck ferosity again.
He'd fallen from a 3rd storey window and had been too broken to be mended, just like her worn little doll-heart.
But if she could dance like the young girls in the village do, in the buttercup fields.. if she could share carrot cake as dusk approached across the river and could sleep the night away in a hot air balloon!
If her legs could run and leap, and her delicate lips could kiss a charming boy..
She holds hope in her chest and crosses her porcelain fingers, maybe luck will fall into her lonely life like a jewel in a hail-storm.

He can probably see my bare ass
through the netting
I strut around clotheless in room 1
Staircase 1
The poor bastard was just trying to unlock his bike
I stared at him thinking I was on the right
Side of the interrogation suite
This is not about a visceral desire to be a naturist
It’s an incidental situation
Where your profession and accommodation
Disavows privacy
In your life limbo you forget and get your baps
Out for the lads.
Ah but the curtains you cry.
I have started referring to this box room as the womb
Not my womb the womb
Imagine Jonathon Ross
Inviting you upstairs to his womb
Gets me thinking
Missing my mum
Sometimes I speak to her through the pillow
She’s so far away
2735.3 miles away
Sometimes I cry her name wish she was with me
When I pay for a pair of trainers
That I don't want
And I
tell the lady not to worry because
I am tired and just being weird.
‘I’ll take them’
Meanwhile in room 1
Staircase 1
The cleaners are loud they don’t mean to be the doors are heavy
And you’re not meant to stay here forever

In the morning
Our egos settle
In slanted beds
Made of twisted metal
The rotten moth eaten cotton
Turns pink skin brittle
So
You rise earlier than wanting
While
Petrichor listens
She's still there
On the dry earth - she glistens
Softening the hum
Entering
Pressing the pane
I don't want to be dressed
She murmurs
I want to regress to naked nothingness
Or something less violent than red nylon
Or what it means to be a woman.
In the morning you feel the calm. Still.
Like a tremor
Forced by a strangers hand. Still
Not knowing who, not knowing
The morning is subtle
Empty and beautiful.

Anna 1d

that caring look that pierced my soul
made me recall everything you’ve told me

promises
compliments
secrets

but all are lies

you never cared
you never meant it
and you never told me truth

but what made me believe you?

your eyes

your eyes captured my attention immediately
making me a prisoner to your gaze
being caged behind the lashes
and i sunk into that black pit
a ring of blue that besieged it

Oh, how bright they were
shining with the tears that had yet to fall
yet you never showed how you truly felt

i believed the words
that flowed from your mouth
like sweet honey

you convinced me yet confused me
i was an unfortunate player in your game
on a quest to seek the answer that can never be found

oh, how i trusted you
how i let you in with open arms
i thought you were my safety
a home where i’d keep my heart
but now, you no longer keep me imprisoned
i am no longer a player
you are no longer my safety
and i now see past your eyes

i was inspired to write this when my best friend/crush just stopped talking to me and i was told by someone else that they hated me. i've known my best friend since 7th grade and now i'm a junior in high school and we no longer speak...

"I am alone."
The words utter from your lips
As if there were no one around to hear them
As if I were but a ghost
Transparent, transposable, translucent
A once radiating light in your gaze
Just as soon to be dulled or turned down
A roaring crimson fire abalze
Just as soon to be suffocated or put out
Starved for oxygen in the way that I
am starved for any sense of purpose
When you tell me you are alone
As if I am simply not standing right in front of you

With this revelation
With this mile in your shoes
I find myself looking around only to realize
that I am alone too.

Katie Causey Sep 7

we know how to love
we just don't want to
- relax
It's 2017.
We're all capable of feeling
just scared to feel the same thing.
Love is for the weak.
Sins are for the blind.
Tinder matches, face to face
"I'm just here for a good time"
I can read through all your posts
secretly we're lonely
You favorited my tweet
so I guess that means you want me
We've seen it all
it's nothing new
So please hide all your demons
Choose your insta caption wisely
Darling,
love is not in season

And I don't know why
But over and over
I've watched this show

Yet over and over
I never get tired of it

I know the jokes

I know when they're coming

But that doesn't stop me
From loving every minute

And call me crazy
But I almost wish
I could be like that

Acting

Acting like I'm so close
To everyone around

Acting like I always know
Exactly what to say

Acting like the bad
Gets better before the end
Of a thirty minute show

And I really want you
To see that I
Am thinking
About how

If I
Could only

Act
Like them

I could act
Like we were more
Than what we are

And I could act
That when I've had a bad day
I don't need a hug
To tell me it's okay

But I can't promise that to myself

Because I think I can act
I've always wanted to act

I want to be an actress

I want people
To remember my name

I want to be
That actress
That little girls
And even boys
Everywhere
See

And they want to be

Just

Like

Me

But I know
That I can't brush everything aside
To make room for a mirage
That everyone sees
But me

Inside
I know
That's all I am
When I act

A mirage
That I can't see

But there is still
That spark
That burns through the night
That tells me to act
To smile
And laugh
Like everything is peachy

So I wave
I smile
I grin a lot
And beg myself to act

And even though
I want to know
If I can make it or not
I'll never

No never

Let my dream rot
And
I'll never

No never

Act like everything
Is A-okay
Because it's not

Sometimes

And I'm rambling
I just want to tell you
At this hour of night
You were on my mind
And I missed you

So when the couple onscreen
Made up
And kissed
And hugged
And cheered

I just wished that was us

And in my rambling mind
I acted like
It really was us
Because that's how much
I want you
Even more
Than I want
To care for myself

Because I'm secondary
Sedentary
Sidelined
...
Sad

A sad girl
Who looks at a screen
And dreams of tomorrow

Hoping I can be
And we can be
And I won't need
To

Act

Anymore

Seema 1d

The winds whistle my name
As I walk on this lonely path
Everything looks almost the same
Except the monuments ruined art

The heart was stained red
Tear marks on it's face I saw
The monument looked sad
On this bright day, it refused to glow

As I looked closer, I felt drips of water
Over my shoulder, as I stood near
A feeling of a mother, missing her daughter
In those still eyes, sipping out was its tear

I never thought stones could really cry
Crafted by men, a persona beautiful art
Even if I wipe out its tears to dry
I wouldn't feel the pain it bears in its heart...

©sim

I guess
That after you,
I'm just
cursed
To forever fear
Opening up
To anyone
Ever again

...
I've hidden
The pieces
Left of me
Deep inside
My steel heart

...
I'm just cursed
To forever push
Everyone away

...
Everywhere I look
I see these
Iron walls
Constricting
And yet...
...
I'm just *cursed

To forever live
Behind these walls
I keep putting up

...
It's Dark
And Abandoned
Here
But it's
The only place
That's
Safe

...
I'm just
Cursed Lonely
For forever and over again

It was hard enough knocking down my walls the first time around... thanks to you I'm almost unreachable now (excerpts from a journal a couple years ago so it has a bit of an immature vibe to it but I don't like editing my past works so here it is)
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