Three cheers.
For my life.

the lies
the hate
the crime

Three cheers.
For my life.

the loneliness
the fakeness
the tears

Three cheers.
For my life.

the love
the care
the death

I was selfless person
Afflicting all the pain and anger I felt towards others onto myself
But the scars, they cover my body
All of spaces filled up
No more room for the lies, the screams, or the fights

Before, I was at fault
But know I see
And we're not kids anymore
I have nothing to lose
And now I can choose

Abby 6h

the palms of her hands
are calloused
from the constant

she is
digging a hole,
running on empty.

as she falls to her knees,

her fingertips
are enveloped in
the cool earth,
cooling the blisters
and bruises.

she climbs inside.

and as the cavern fills up
with rainwater,

she feels her swollen tongue
and the rug burn on her skin
and the acid in her throat,

and she reaches for the comfort
of her shirtsleeves.

the grit
of cough syrup
and mud
between her teeth
makes her gag

over the patter
of rain,
she can hear a shovel
against rock.

another person
digging a hole,
but into the rocky portion
usually reserved for those
with nothing

and so out she climbs,
cradles the digger
in her arms
and fills her hole
with flower petals,
dropping the lost soul

and she wraps her fingers
around the soaked piece of wood
and metal

and groans with that familiar sound
of metal on rock

as she resumes
what they left behind.

~dig, boy. dig.

A piece of glass
a shiny square plastered on a
meaningless, thin, and paper-like wall
So fragile
So delicate

But so dauntingly haunting

A little square that screams its piercing cry with each and every painful
flash and glimpse of something
horrific when eyes meet glass

Washes over every breath that i breathe
with anguish and fire engorging my veins
at the monster in the glass
Something revolting and destructive blazing
back just waiting to extinguish any light
ill-fated enough to traverse its darkened path

What is this ghastly abhorrence? me

Avery 16h

I wrote this a very long time ago and it wasn't originally a poem!  I just separated it into sections so it was in a more poem-like format.  I felt like it had emotion behind it, so I decided to post it.  Here's the "poem" -

It really hurts.  
It hurts like hell.  
It's hurts more than a thousand needles piercing my skin.  

It's a sinking feeling.  
A sinking feeling in my stomach, in my heart.  
I don't know what to believe anymore.  My mind tells me one thing and my heart tells another.  

I'm at war with myself, and I'm completely losing.  I've lost myself.  Utterly, and almost completely.  

I can smile, I can laugh.  But that's only when I forget.  And as soon as I remember, I'm knocked right back down again.  And no one seems to care.  No one cares enough to ask.  

Because, who cares about ME?  None of my friends, none of my family.  It's hell on Earth, because I know it's not their job to notice!  It's my job to tell them!  

But I'm petrified.  I'm scared I'll disappoint them.  Make them run away.  Make them think I'm weird.  Make them feel like I've gone crazy.  

Maybe that's it.  
Maybe I've gone completely crazy!
But who cares anymore?
Definitely not myself.

I really debated whether or not to post this, because I wrote it a very long time ago, but I felt like it had emotion behind it, so I'm posting it.  Love, Avery.
Joy 22h

Mirages caress the air in celebration of hope once lost
they will breathe now but wither at dusk
when the sun has lost its patience seeking a worthy companion
no one ever shines like him, he thinks
not in arrogance but longing
in an exhaustion of otherness
and he knows he has busy hands.
whorish and predictable
he will always leave eastern shores for western ones
gently touching bodies of water
or angrily scorching the audacity of land still being there without him
at times the earth trembles at his powers
and the sand's shoulders go limp but rest assured
the sun will molest those lands not in heat
and will still be lonely
will still not know the life he gives
or hope to barren lands and northerners
still not know that he's a part of everyone.
he IS the celebration

It's dark; in the middle of the night;

And I feel the silence teaching me lessons;

Reminding me of who i was and what I am;

And how with every passing dusk a part of me changed;

Of the things left and the people gone;

And some beautiful days playing in my head like a happy song;

Of how when I thought I couldn't survive but I did;

All the times I thought I was weak;

But here I am today; stronger and better;

Yet so much to learn;

I let the calm heal my broken heart;

Let the sorrow sink in the darkness;

Find myself in the middle of nothing; my eyes dry; I wonder why?

Tears betray but the breath turns heavy;

And I realize; I am growing.

So I pat myself; after this tiny accomplishment; if that's what they call it;

Ready to loose my present self to the past;

So patiently now; I lay my back straight over my messy cot;

And wait for the Rays; wait for the dawn.

Thoughts on a lonely night.

She sat there crying
Thinking of all the men
She’d watched leave
Each one left feeling pleased
For every night
She got to her knees

Why does she do this?
Does no one care?
With her bloodshot eyes
And tangled hair
She trudges home
Wishing someone was there
Alone each night
It wasn’t fair

She woke one night
Reduced to tears
Tired of being used
For so many years
She couldn’t
Face all her peers
With all the mockery
And their jeers

So, facing solitude
Once again
The girl gets up
and grabs a pen
And writes a note
To all the men
She closes her eyes
And then….

Time ticks on my bedroom wall clock,
and my weary head needs sleep.

              It's much too cold inside my room,
               why won’t my discontentedness ever stop?

I toss and I turn every which way,
and I can't seem to feel right at all.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so beside me won't you lay?

Each hour that passes takes a toll,
and there's a simple solution to my problem.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so won't you warm my body and soul?

originally written 12/30/16

Lately, joy just doesn't reach my core.
Instead sadness is the only feeling
I ever experience anymore.

originally written 9/19/16
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