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Rain pummels against the pavement of my skull.
So loud is this silence, like static on my tv.
White noise floods the every corner of my brain.
I slide out of people's lives as quickly as I come into them.
should this be longer? An unfinished thought...
Jedda 2h
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry

I’m sorry for being so brutally and blatantly me
I’m sorry for being too excessively distant or overly needy
I’m sorry for being chaotically too much or constantly not enough
I’m sorry for being never the in between you so desperately needed
I’m sorry for being utterly and completely nothing

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry

I’m sorry for you tried so despairingly to save this void
I’m sorry for you only came for the hope of reassurance
I’m sorry for you only left with less than what you came
I’m sorry for you had to hold all of this weight
I’m sorry for you don’t ever deserve to feel this kind of way

But most of all

I’m so sorry for in my being, I ever caused you pain
For all I have left in the pits of my despair
Sillva 9h
After all this time I can now sit an write
Forgetting my pass years of endless flights.
Desintations among the shadows,
Where images cannot Appear.
For some reason
I closed my self to this lonesome fog.
Making my ink
to stop.
My Agony becomes extensions of deadly Airs,
For dying leaves to settle in my grave.
My lonely nights
Are poems in a difficult times
Turning beautiful flowers to gloom
In cemeteries.
It appears me that I have open my self to a word of emptiness,
An rumours to me became a curtain for eyes to never see happiness.
As I say in between my words
An call out
"I feel Alone among millions"…..

Oh how i long to be desired
A feeling which we all require
Wish i could have that great physique
Makes women stop to take a peek
Or maybe have that *** appeal
Makes women give that lustful squeal
To be wanted in every way
And really be someone’s dream lay
To be somebody’s fantasy
Would leave me in such ecstasy
Instead i’m just an average guy
Just very nice and very shy
I do not have the perfect ***
Nothing anyone would applaud
I wish the women thought me hot
But in my heart i know I'm not
A *** symbol I'll never be
No one will have wet dreams of me
These feelings they are not required
But i still long to be desired.
Written as a wish to be desired and wanted in a way i havent felt in a lonv time
In this sorrowful moment,
I just want everything to end.
My heart is about to break,
My brain
It hurts a lot,
But I know this is happening,
Because something good is coming.
I need someone.
Hug me please.
I need a hug and let all my tears out.
I need someone to help me get through this.
Hug me
I'll just pray.
I guess I should have known better
than to let you in again, right?
I guess not.
No matter how many times
you leave a hole in my chest
leaving me to pick up the pieces
I always find my heart crawling back
to you to give you another chance
that you don’t deserve.
My heart, the fool, thinks that maybe
this time you’ve changed for the better.
Maybe this time, you really mean it.
Maybe this time, you will not repeat.
Scary when you can go all day without saying a word. At some point you end up in restaurants and grocery stores hoping someone who works there will ask you what you want, if they can help you find what you're looking for. And you will say I hope so but I don't know if anyone can.
She said I like the idea of being so lonely I'd cut myself in half just to have someone to talk to.
Didn't get a chance to say sorry for the late *** texts last night.

I get a few drinks in me and I start thinking and then want someone to talk to.

I don't talk too often and keep things buried.

If I don't talk about things every so often I hold it all in and explode later.

I don't like exploding.

So thank you for listening and sorry for being an inconvenience
Undone 17h
Today I woke up
And found a friendly kind of sadness
Sitting on my bed

It petted my head
Like I was a lost puppy
And lured me into its lap
With *****, familiar feelings

It spoke with sympathy
It laughed with mockery
And whispered words that tugged at my tears

I listened,
As it spoke:

"What were you doing out there all alone?
How far did you get this time?"

"Aw, that's cute, that' really cute. Well, here we are again huh?
Not even what 6 months later?"
"It's okay!
I'm not judging."

"Look can we get "real" for a second?"

"Whether you want to admit it or not,
you need me."

"I mean you don't exactly make it easy on yourself, do you?
Getting your self up on these high hopes that things will be different."

"You're not like the rest of them.
You don't get the same things they do.
You're just going to keep disappointing yourself."

"And that just doesn't make you feel good huh?"

"Well I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to make you feel good either."

"But I'm not going to make you feel as bad."

"Not only can I shelter you from yourself but when you're all alone others can't exactly hurt you, can they?"

"So let's just cut all this **** and come back to me."

"You knew you were going to.
You knew this was how it was always going to end.
Are you really even surprised I'm here?
What else did you expect?"

"I may not have his hugs or his words or his smile, but neither do you."
"We deserve each other"

"You deserve me."
Is it that obvious I'm sad?
bebita 19h
She wanted to be loved
But people just cheated their way
Through her heart
She couldn’t keep waiting
For someone to save her
She wants to release her opinion
But she just learned to not speak at all
Her dad said to her
“When you were 5, I had no fears. Now ten years later I fear everything.”
But she was already in tears
The tears meant nothing
Thoughts reside in her mind
On where she was going to be soon
And what was going to happen to her if she keep going down the path
Of what she thought would help her
But just made her life worse.
She resented what she had become
She knew she could do better
But her motivation had disappeared into nothing
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