I looked around again
All I saw was love
But it didn't make me cry like last time
I finally feel loved by someone too
And no one is going to take that feeling
I love him
He loves me
So is he
My have I learned life is hard
What? I'll never understand.
Oh today's not good.
My legs feel like cement.
What I'd give if I could walk again.
Her walker clanking .
A standing appointment for Thursday 9:30.
Your not to be late. So be there @ 9:15.
A gentleman always calls to confirm the night before.
That he will come knock on her door.
A beaming glowing warm smile greets.
The scent of Liz Taylor's Passion no more.
As I now pass the closed wooden casket.
My finger tips graze the grain.
A last farewell until we meet again.
I am hear right now
Sitting in front of my table
While thinking of the possible content of my writings
I wanted to write about romantic love
But it seems my heart is so empty and uninspired
Empty because I don't have any
Uninspired because I can see brokeness in most of the people around me
I also thought of writing about human love
Which I thought I have
But as I type each and every words
There's a drop of water that came out from my eyes
And yes, it was my cries
Cries because of human lies
I tried to stop what I wanted to write
And just let the kindness reign
But the honesty inside of me starts to scream and start asking
How could they kept on smiling at me,
when it's me whom they killing?
As I wiped my tears
I have realized something
That PeopleArePeople is not just a stuff brand
But people are people, who will give you pain
But this I promise to myself
That you People can never hurt me again
My darkness comes again
Im weighed down
By all this sin
I look at these lies
And i scream inwardly
Outwardly i just sigh
I get so stuck
Its like i cant see
Anything besides the muck
But i will follow the truth
I know there is more
This darkness is not new
I can move oast these lies
I wont give in
The truth will not be disguised
I am not alone
There is so much more
I can be at peace at home
I am loved
There is truth here
I can be enough
Im not a failure
There is more to me
Than this current allure
I will fight these lies
I wont give up
God hears my cries
And he sees me
Even when im weak
He shows me how who im to be
And he gives me strength
To just keep living
When all i want is to give up.
I have learned to hold back words
Strong words, careless words,
Words of many storms.
I have learned to hold back tears,
Wet tears, silver tears,
Tears more painful than blood.
I have learned to not trust words,
Lying words, doubtful words,
Words that are false on ears.
I have learned to stay strong,
Through bitter pain, through unending pain,
Pain that will never cease.
I have learned all this and more,
Loving is a dangerous thing.
Oh wilderness' soul ― I Beseech thee !
I feel your deepest awakening secrets stir
Whispers uttered in immortal Winds
Calling to the Fountains of my soul
Standing the hairs of comfortably numb
Spilled breath bestrewn upon frayed Mortality
Oh wilderness' soul ― I Bequeath thee !
The ashes the deepest Oceans my heart
As circadian Tides have ebb and flowed
Forsaken feigned love’s misbegotten guise
Now chastened sightless before an unseen labyrinth
Beset by a human blindness that decays all light
Oh wilderness' soul ― I Entreat thee !
Cleanse this molted flesh ― time shed ―
Artifacts of perfectly imperfect traces
Reminders of things we strive to forget
For in the self-loathed aching Silence
I feel the urgent pull of Wilderness' Soul
Reaching out ― Benignly
to Entomb my Heart and Soul
April 1st, 2017