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Jellyfish Oct 12
It's hard for me to conceptualize the expectations you try to hide,
You're all so sneaky when you ask for my side.
When I say no, it's as if you think I'm being snide,
But all I'm trying to do is make strides.

Understanding that "no" is a full sentence for me,
Grew difficult as it was never an option, you see.
Anytime I could refuse, I would with glee,
Seeking control, even when tempted to agree.

The lack of boundaries harmed our natural bond,
I search for our connection, but when you're around, I tend to fawn.
I dislike this transactional, distant bond.

I ask for quality time and am met with fees,
Being fed a lie that your love language is acts of service, please.
Because I do nothing to help you out, it's decreed,
I must not care; I feel like a bad family member indeed.
Tony Tweedy Oct 11
Oh the things that my eyes have seen,
the many places walked I have been.

Upon peak and trough did I roam,
rarely knowing a place called home.

So many turnings along my way,
passing on through to seldom stay.

Staying as long as life allowed,
more times alone than in a crowd.

Beautiful faces that came and went,
both good and evil sometimes sent.

With words sometime of the softest kind,
echoing shrill calls yet within my mind.

Words once soft now turned to stone,
where faces vanish until left alone.

Upon road so full of twist and turn,
until a heart can no longer yearn.

Corners met that were never turned,
unseen paths that were never learned.

Future's short path left to travel on,
in time memory fades and it too is gone.

Things I was and all that I saw,
gone forever through the closing door.

How long then be there just a trace,
that my soul and I ever saw this place.

To dust and particles we all will decay,
those once met too will just fade away.

Until even memories of all are no more,
of a life full lived that no one even saw.
The stream of life and human existence.... a species long journey along an unknown road. Was there a beginning? Is there an end?
xjf Aug 31
It may be that
the purpose,
Is not written into
the program.
Angel-Grace Jul 15
Is love not supposed to come in the form of abuse
Am I not supposed to accept every repeated excuse
When you say you love me
Is it intended to be true
Because you want me to say it back
Like the only person for me is you
But the only person for you is who you want it to be
And sometimes it's her
And sometimes it's me
Sometimes I wish I could just be free
But you have this grasp that i can't escape
I love you so much, yet it feels like hate
I tried so hard to be the one you needed
I gave all I had and still never succeeded
You keep saying you love me
But at what point will you mean it
I keep saying I love you
But now I dont think I mean it
And yet despite the reciprocities of man, we are still at war.
Not at war with other nations,
Not at war with our governments,
Not at war with our neighbors,
But at war with ourselves.
The war that never ends is the war that is fought inside ourselves.
We all know that this is something that exists,
We all know that this is something that shouldn’t change,
We all know that sometimes war is too great for ourselves and we seek help.
But the war is something that we all agree should remain.
Why I ask of you,
Why must this war remain?  
Is it so that we can constantly better ourselves through repeated questioning?
Is it so we can work to create turmoil in our minds in which we must struggle through?
Or is it so we have a reason to perpetually push ourselves to improve so that we may reach a certain goal?
This is an answer that will forever remain for it is different for the individual.
But it is my belief that thanks to these inner wars, we may improve as a society, no, more so improve as a species.
Through self improvement, through self turmoil, through self questioning, we may force ourselves to change, to become the person or entity in which we wish to become,
And if everyone was able to achieve this goal,
Either it be through our own desires, or the desires of our circumstance,
We can improve others, thanks to the experience one gains, and due to the natural human desire for social contact.
But not all inner wars lead to this outcome,
Many of them lead to selfishness, entitlement, or even apathy for their fellow people.
Saying that we should leave behind our earthly values, or a physical addiction is not what I’m implying here.
I believe that we are all allowed to have some selfishness, some amount of self entitlement, and even a small amount of apathy for people.
We do not need to feel empathy for the people who have wronged us, but we shouldn’t ignore the reasoning for them doing so, we can learn from their mistakes and teach it to others.
Being too selfless leads to self destruction due to giving too much of yourself away for the sake of others, this leads to a mind that will sooner than later crumble under the stress of pleasing those around them, and even sooner a body that will start to fall apart from beneath them.
A small amount of self entitlement leads to knowing one's self worth, if you have no entitlement then you lead to being too selfless, and leads you to become used by those around you.
By allowing yourself to do the tasks or the jobs that nobody else wishes to do, yes it's good that someone does those things, but letting someone do it for too long and their mind too will lower itself to the trash tasks and will become trash itself due to repeated exposure.
The inner war that we all face, that we all have, and that we can all see,
It should be discussed,
It should be allowed to be seen by others,
It should be a way for self improvement.
It should always remain.
Just started typing whatever came to mind, apologies if it seems like a jumbled mess.
Mark Wanless Jun 21
i am here because
of help so much i wonder
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