love is driving so fast, stopping feels going backwards
down the interstate up the other side of a town our parents warned us about
love is counting days and losing track of nights because this is all i know
love is cutting up your favorite t shirt because sometimes the extra weight on your shoulders is just too much
love is the song on the album you never gave a chance because it just rubbed you the wrong way
love is saying that this time will be better
love is watching a receipt get stepped on and over but not putting it out of its misery because it is not your job
love is why
not how or when or who
love is why

The world doesn't owe you a **** thing. Hard work doesn't entitle you to a better life, neither does lineage, money or otherwise.

You aren't entitled to ANYthing.
Some people get more than they "deserve".
Other people get less.

"Deserving" is a manufactured concept to allow us to pity ourselves when we acquire less of a good thing or more of a bad thing than we expected.

When something bad happens to you, you didn't deserve it.
When something amazing happens to you, you didn't deserve it.

Our very existence is a gift, and saying we deserve anything more than to be alive is purely arrogant. Be thankful for every drop of water, every grain of sand, and every speck of dust you have because one day, you may not have those anymore. So cherish the ones who you love, because one day, they may no longer be there either.

I dont know why
i barely knew you
But living without you
Hurts like hell

Each day
a new scratch
Soon theres going to be a big hole
beyond patching

But i will be okay
I always am
Its just going to take time
A long long time
But hopefully i
...
No
I will
I will bare this load
No matter the pain
No matter the tears
I will
i have to...
                                         I will try..

these writings,
these ramblings,
these, incoherent thoughts,

are many things to me.
i write for several reasons,
and I post my work for several more.

this, is my therapy...
this allows me to go back in time and, re-live moments, to re-think thoughts, and most importantly, re-evaluate my internal response and outlook of the situation, feeling, or occurrence.

my writing focuses upon my internalisms, my thoughts.
very few of my pieces are outwardly inspired. Very rarely is my writing based within my physical perception of what is happening around me.

I post and share, for several more reasons; some purer than others.
I share because I don't want others to suffer as I do at times, and perhaps, something in my writing will inspire a change in thought or feeling, or at the very least, allow someone to relate, and realize they're not alone.

I share so that someone, someday will recognize the true weight and reflection of my writing and be able to identify how, and why I am how I am, and help me better understand myself and the world around me, and minimize, or even eliminate this endless battle, and help me find the only thing in life that I truly yearn for:
peace.

i share also because i feel that my experiences and thoughts are common property. my creations, once made, are no longer mine to keep to myself. these words, these thoughts, these feelings are yours to do with what you please. love them, hate them, learn from them, or ignore them completely. Just as speech is common domain, so is my inner speech.

lastly, i share Because of my struggle... this is my selfish motive. I am addicted to the validation of seeing you all read my inner thoughts and react to it. It tells me I am not dreaming. It shows me that what I feel is, in fact, real and that I am not just a figment of my own imagination.

Why am I writing this?
to show you i am not merely a writer behind a mask, or truly a writer at all.
I am just a human, a person sharing my existence in the form of written words.

Thank you,
And may you all find a true, everlasting peace, and love within yourselves, and each other.

Admit it or not
We smile for a reason
That reason mostly is a person

But we also cry for a reason
That reason mostly is a person
Sadly, it may be the same person who made us smile

I went weeks without hearing your name, and without uttering it aloud.
I heard your name today and it felt like a punch to the gut.
Will I always be this way when it comes to you?
I just want to be okay.

What is love?
A emotion? is it a want or a need?
is it something everyone meets somewhere in life?

What is love?
A problem? or  dream come true?
I guess its all in how you look at it

I see it as a opportunity
You could accept it or deny it
                     Everyone sees it differently

Allow means much more than most children think, and, since most adults, mature adamkind, learned the meaning of allow while being children themselves, it stands to reason,
we must agree to acknowledging an adult-rated meaning, an
original thought-true meaning, exists, and the embedded etymology.com clip causes verity to be established
And agreed. But skip the clip. This is most likely a paper book if I am still in it, and I am.

Got that? If not, get it. Ye'll nae go fear fershur. (never far for sure)

There is tinkly music behind this in the published version, I don't know how to do that yet, but it is being done.
The Orthodox Heretic is done that way with background noise playing as it were a role.

I am casting for the character "background noise" no more than a minute long and two inches tall.

What is allowed here is good. This realm is blessed. Good from day six. Yet,
You cannot imagine, yet. Telling my story from where I am, here, required "Rasselin' m' own weasels"

To get here. I had to stomp m'own snakes, in other words.
So, while you be, as you are, here, be having fun with no pain nor shame nor want

Think you can. You can.
Thank you, Waddie Piper, that little golden book that never leaves me, you know what I mean? I think I can. I think I can. And I know I read that book before I saw Dumbo.
You know what I mean.

And that is always Ray Charles, you know what I mean slow mind slow tongue fast ears
Hear the question from the stage to the nose bleed seats,
You know what I mean?

What is allowed here is good. This realm is blessed. Good from day six.

What is allowed here is good. This realm is blessed. Good from day six.
I am
So
Glad. Ye got a handle on that while back, eh? Good to see.

Old word that, glad. It'll gleam
If'n ye shine it on yer britches knees
Like a sword furbished,
A rod
And it is given to be furbished
That it may be handled:

Com prehension with gripping as a hand may
Grip a handle

You can handle that. It's the truth.
What else is there?

Post-mortal man is now man, you know?
What we are now is what we are;
Refurbished shined on by most.
Ignore, that's what shining on is
As used just then.

Now I can tell you to shine on and on and on
While we all ignore you and laugh at your
Efforting

Take it easy. The pieces have been falling
Long before now. Some how now we
Comprehend on purpose.

Hang on to that thought

I hate your friends,
I hate your mom and dad,
I hope they hate me back.
I guess for once,
I'm being honest.
Gotta be a lot that's wrong with you,
To wanna be with me.
It's kind of sweet when we fight until someone's calling the cops,
But you never blame it on me,
You're so annoying.
Four in the morning,
You're changing the locks
How could you do this to me?
I only love you when you don't love me.
So, why do you love me?
I only need you when you don't need me.
So, why do you need me?
Apologize,
Never apologize.
You hate the way I lie,
So here you go,
I'm being honest.
Narcissist,
Come on,
Give us a kiss.
Let's have some fun with it,
It's kinda sweet.
I only love when you don't love me
So, why do you love me?
I only need you when you don't need me.
So, why do you need me?
If I'm so ******* crazy,
you're ******* crazy too.
We're all ******* crazy,
So *******.