You'll find it sometimes in what you eat. What it is, you might ask? It's Mystery Meat! Smells kinda weird, and looks just like ****. I don't want a dollop. No, not even a scoop. I don't even want it in Mystery Soup.
every bit, every tiny bit i can feel the elephant foot through my chest, there is little to no breath, can i stop? god, if there is anything for me please don’t make it wait longer tell my future i won’t be coming earth is not my place, not anywhere i’ve been this is too much half my day i want to scream on the top of my lungs for help, for solitude, for no one why am i not heard yet?
maybe i should tell someone that my room is a mess like my head and i can’t keep it still, slowly filling my hands with anything i can find, i wont rest i cant rest i can’t let me go i have to become my future i promised i won’t go i promised things i can’t keep just let me go, my lungs have and the blood swells my chest my eyes aren’t smiling im sorry im not joyful like i used to be
'There's yogurt in the fridge.' There's always strawberry yogurt in the fridge. When all else is lost there's speckled bananas, there's stale rich teas and there's week-old, ****, pale pink yogurt in my fridge.
there's times when there's little in the fridge, but mashed banana, crumbled biscuit and yogurt is an okay meal.
What's your code no passport connection four hundred years grandfather's father his father coming there first test DNA dry place immigrant country no code no almond milk and honey wet wipes gone eyes longing God in each of us what's your code which God fountain of mercy chopped tomatoes snug crates E5 what's your code he shot me in the head and legs smug nearly forgot thank you for calling the job centre your call is important stranger rich tea smooth no nuts unboxed leeks centre job wait what's your code hot sand busy thank you what's your code blue masks requirement professor of linguistics sir do you have Weetabix I Lithuania bless you Kuwait Syria Michigan Holloway Italy chef many interviews knives the knives needed all are welcome double yellow lines peas code your what's your necessary referral code appointment hurry sorry reindeer biscuit then joking we used to climb over and pick the blackberries no desk write the date and time sign what's your code Ukraine just wait for delivery..
so it starts with a girl, barely the age of 10 and already wondering when the baby fat will melt off glances in the mirror at unwanted curves and softness why would a 10 year old need to worry about their body? comments from a father about diets and diseases and suddenly food stops being a necessity but a burden a brother remarking how a second helping is how you develop diabetes, you don't eat again that night mom tries to help, "you've got a nice figure" she says it only makes you hate the softness more so a girl, at the ripe age of 17, decides that food is no longer a nessesity but a burden a few months into it a friend makes a joke how you need to start eating more because of how small you're getting you laugh it off and ignore the pride swelling in your chest because food was never good or nourishing but rather numbers on a scale and buttons that didn't quite close because food was always a burden and never a nesessity
I never wanted this. I never wanted this hell upon me but she just grabbed me in her cold bony arms. She hugged me so tight and she would not let go. I am so **** cold. I cannot move anymore. I cannot run. She is eating my soul and my body away. Her lifeless cold eyes seemed so warm to me. She was my friend and my lover. She played me over and dragged me into this wretched hole. Thoughts would repeat all over_ I am fat I am fat I am fat I believe her words. She brain washed my brain thinking into it that she is always right. She must be.