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Treading water
so calm and peaceful
tranquil water



as if the water was flowing
to the tempo of my heart


my tranquil waters are disrupted
something is not right
the water slides past my ears
I am jostled out of my daydream

the ripples turn into waves
they want to engulf me
feel me tumble in their depth
and feel me gasp for
I am in my last semester of college and this is how I feel.
If I don't make it the next month,
I want you to know that it never was your fault.

If I don't make it on your birthday,
I want you to know that I wish you the best.

If I don't make it on our anniversary,
I want you to know that you are now free to choose someone else.

If I don't make it on Christmas,
I want you to know that you can celebrate and be merry.

If I don't make it on New Year,
I want you to know that you should start fresh.

If I don't make it tomorrow,
I want you to know that I love you.
I am slowly losing hope.
No more wood to throw
into the fire that glows
giving us the will to live

to throw myself in
so that the fire
may roar for a while longer

or to watch it
slowly fade and
go down to embers
that will keep you
alive but never
Last night I was betrayed,
again, are you surprised?
Last night I found out how,
alone I actually am.
Last night my body shook,
from knowing the unknown.
Last night I saw the light,
light I didn't want to see.
Last night I realized how,
how much I love the darkness.
Last night the light truly,
intimidated me.
Last night will become my,
biggest anxiety.
Last night forced me to open up,
open my eyes to the dishonorable.
Last night you drove me home,
yet you still drove me away.
Last night made me wonder,
will I soon catch a break?
Last night my heart shattered,
and has not stopped breaking.
Last night showed me my value,
at least my value to you.
Last night you left me in,
light that was blinding me.
last night you lied to me,
last night you lied to me.
Last night you lied to me,
way to many times.
Last night you affected,
me in ways you cant imagine
Last night. Last night. Last night,
will I ever stop saying that.
Last night. Last night. Last night,
will you stop making me.
clever Oct 8
and there's weight to this gun
and i don't mean the mass.
and i number my days,
don't know which one's the last.
but when it comes down to it,
you can't break unbreakable.
when everybody's pressed
the fake is unmistakable.
it's sunday night.
you call me when you're *****.
So, girl I want you to know,
Maybe this year is the last chance for us,
Maybe yesterday was the last conversation, we ever had,
Maybe those were the last words between us.
There are a lot of things I never said,
As I never had the courage to,
Maybe be I never will,
But I want you to understand,
I love you more than You think I do,
Maybe I was never that crazy,
Probably I was just crazy for you.
I know this is not the perfect time,
Maybe it never is,
Maybe it never will be,
But I just want you to know,
I will always be there for you,
No matter how many years pass by.
I will always love you, just for the sake of love.
Just going a little offstyle this time
Xallan Oct 1
I don't see any poetry in death
The last exhalations
are not prose, nor hallelujahs
The rattling of limbs
are not conductions of orchestral tunes
The rolling of eyes is not in ecstasy.
Pain is never beautiful, unless it is your own-
twisted, life is.
Let me drown in my ink, a true poetic death.
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