Reaching my hands so hard
that my fingers bent
Counting days till happiness
And my finger lines are erased
I finally grasp a fading light
It’s a memory of olden times
Swinging in the blue rusted swing
In school’s playground, waiting
For my parents to pick me up
So I’ll show them my bruises
And they’ll cheer me up with the boxes of juices
But it’s not enough so I reach out again
I grasp a fading light
It’s a memory of happy times
Dancing in the monsoon rain
With my brothers in the flooding streets
With overflowing drains
And coming home to slip under the warm blanket
And pray for the rain to continue
But the school was never skipped, the sky always turned blue
However it’s not enough so I must reach out again
to grasp a fading light
It’s a memory of good ol’ times
Standing beneath the shady tree, cursing out names
Me with my rather competitive friends
Throwing jabs and insults but taking it in all fun and games
And the cruel school times diluted by the spirit
Of carelessness, nonchalance and adolescence
When the handholds of hours were actually for a minute
But why isn’t in enough, I can’t reach out anymore
My feet are twisted, my arms are broken,
I can’t do this no more
But I run, one step turned into a hundred
Breezing through all these fading lights
To find the one, the dearest to mine
Is it my mother kissing my forehead?
Is it the whisper that made a poet?
Or the family trips with my brothers and cousins?
Or the foolishness with friends without repercussions?
No they’re not them, not the movies nor my video games
I run, I run, I run but it’s all the same
I can’t find the one
Not the stories I created in my wandering head
Not the pleasures of life, nothing lies ahead
It’s not enough, I can’t reach out anymore
No amount of those fading lights
Can return back the fading lights in my eyes
As I lay bleeding in the middle of a road
I can’t reach out anymore
I can’t reach out anymore
I can’t anymore
.......i can't anymore
