gabe 9h

a man out of his wits,
hopeless,
what a pity he's become
another casualty.

loved ones, betrayed him:
left to oblivion,
only girl she ever loved,
ran away with
another man.

all sense has left him,
they say.
but he's listening
to all the bickering.

hoping one day,
a voice so familiar,
he'll hear,
the sun rising
after
a complete darkness.

You never thought you would feel that way about another person
All you feel is guilt and torture
You don't believe in god, yet it is the biggest sin
All you know is that you don't deserve to be loved

You never thought you'd feel a rush go through your body over a simple touch
All you feel is confusion and stress
You don't believe you care ever do this, and his eyes make me crutch
All you know is love is not easy

You never thought the warm would consume you just from a look
All you feel is stuck and uneasy
You don't believe someone could make you feel a thousand rushes at once
All you know is you can't leave him

You always thought you would find the right person
All you feel is betrayal
You  believe that you could never love another man
All you know is that he does mean as much as the first

See kindness,
affection,
graciousness ,
beyond imagination

Discipline
attention
medicine
a perfect imperfection

Ready this heart,
don't care how many times
get stabbed,
fall in love

They say it is blind
well, I want to be blind
and not deliriously watch others,
smell roses in the park

So he was a religious man
that I saw,
now this longing,
to fall in love,
with a good man

I lay beside
Miss Pinkie
in her bed
in her flat.

It was morning
someone
was vacuuming
in the flat upstairs
footsteps back
and forth.

There was a sliver
of daylight
where her curtains
didn't meet.

I turned over
and gazed
at her sleeping
eyes closed
eyelids like pink
seashells.

Her mouth open
breathing shallow.

She was old enough
to be my mother
just about.

Her hair
was in a mess
not neat
as it usually was.

We'd made love
a few times in
the late evening
and night
it wasn't hot sex
but it was all right.

She said
she'd entered
a convent
with her cousin
when they were 18
she left
but her
cousin stayed.

Seemed a bit kinky
sleeping
with an ex-nun
wonder what
the bishop
would say
if he could see
how she lay
I mused.

My mouth was dry
I needed a drink
to wake me up
for real.

She opened
her eyes
and stared at me.

Her hand wandering
back towards me
wanting to feel.

A YOUNG MAN AND OLDER WOMAN IN 1973
Era

The end of an era,
Begets the start of a new,
The shifting generations,
Bring things with, Like Cell phones and facebook
And promptly take them away,
Like milkmen and records,
Paperboys and Duesenbergs,
Gone with the wind,
As if they never were there,
In the first place.
The eras long past,
Exists as a graveyard of forgotten jobs,
And items outdated.  
While the road ahead,
Is paved by the items,
Which have fallen into obscurity.

Luke Apr 3

There was a man from Birtley,
when I met him he really hurt me,
He kicked me in the face,
and another mysterious place,
Now I have H.I.V.

To my special man in Birtley
xxx
Luke 4d

There once was a man from Liverpool,
he once decided he needed a bigger tool,
so he went to the shop,
he was in a flop,
and accidently bought a new stool.

this is a sad story about a man I knew from Liverpool
R.I.P

I think when he left the earth, he forgot his humanity too.
He strapped on his thick leather boots and told his wife,
“I’ll be back around two.”
But days and weeks went by and his poor old wife
never saw the man she loved again.
He visited Venus and went for a ride
down to the Moon, where he led a happy life
drinking moonshine with his space rocks
tumbling through his mind.

I think when she realized he never would return,
she decided to start a new page,
she needed to be on her own and write her own story.
So she went down to the record store, and met a boy her age.
They talked about the blues beat and drowned their sorrows
in the music that escaped their hearts.
And when the Moon took the Sun’s place,
her feelings had been replaced with what she felt
for her old husband again.

And I think when he saw that space rock wasn’t for him,
and when she saw that the music boy had died,
they both returned to their den.
The new age had begun to settle in;
the husband and wife recognized their faults.
Nothing could replace the music they made together,
that psychedelic rhythm in their veins gave the other life.
No one could replace the jazz within their souls that
soothed their worries in a five-four time,
ending the endless night
with Frank Sinatra lyrics.
“Let me play among the stars;
let me see what spring is like
on a-Jupiter and Mars.”

originally written 10/17/16

It was night
I wandered
from the men's area
to where
the night nurse
was sitting
in her small office
reading reports.

I stood
in the doorway.

Hello Benny
what are you
doing up?
she said.

Can't sleep
I said.

Come sit down
for a while
she said
closing the report
and sitting back
in her chair.

I took the chair
opposite her.

When can I
get out of here?
I said.

When the chief
nursing officer
thinks you are ready
she said
peering at me
through her blue
framed glasses.

When will that be?
I said.

He will know
she said.

I looked at her
when will I know?

When he does
she said
want a drink
of cocoa?

Guess so
I said.

She got up
and put
an electric kettle
on and filled a mug
with cocoa powder
and a coffee
for herself.

She was about 30 odd
with a full frame
and dyed blonde hair.

She turned
and looked at me
why did you try
hang yourself?

State of mind
at the time
I said.

Both times?
she said.

Guess so
I replied.

She poured
boiling water
into both mugs
and took milk
from a small fridge
and topped up
the mugs
and passed me mine
and set hers down
on the desk top
and sat down.

I sipped the cocoa
it was hot
and smelt
of childhood.

I wondered if she
had sex often
with her husband
when they were
home together
at any given time.

I noticed her gold
wedding ring
and gemstone.

I never asked
just looked at her
sitting there
with her bright eyes
and dyed blonde hair.

A MAN IN A LOCKED WARD IN 1971
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