I'm here once more, but then again when was I not?

as if my eyes have ever shifted from my reflection. I'm sick of it.

I don't know how long I've been here; this dimly lit trap gives away no time.

all else melts around me, pools into ripples of my distorted reality.

I sit and I watch my face. I long for the familiarity of yesteryears that I cannot trace.

my skin yawns open, wills to consume itself - porous, velutinous, and brittle.

this is who I am, this is what I see:

tyrian purple flesh decomposing, falling inside my bones that split and splinter;

my mind climbing out of my head, fugitive from the skull's prison;

breaths, ribbons of grotesque, not deep enough to last and not shallow enough to be numbered.

everything without is human (decaying though it is), and everything within is dissimulation.

this molten, fragmented un-being doesn't escape my sight. these eyes have cried out for respite -

and yet they exist, the odd and sole constant in the mirror before them -

wistful for oblivion and feasting on fear. what's gone has kept me alive for longer than it appears.

this body doesn't even feel real. my fingertips burn at every touch.

what more shrapnel does this heart desire until it plays out its final beat?

I was ready to let you go
at a moments notice.
I hope you know what you did
with that F'ing slow kiss.
While I drown in my sorrow
You float like a lotus flower.

never it crossed my mind

that I'll ever have a feeling for you.

but yet, you crossed a line you

didn't realize.

I was in love with you

with all the time you kept saying,

"I want someone to love."

But yet you didn't realize,

there's someone in front of you

dying for you to see her heart.

i’ve spent
the last twenty-four hours
haunted by the idea of my own death
so it will never leave my head
i am haunted by the ghost telling me i could become a ghost
in that
i don’t know what will happen to me when i am dead
i can only hope for comfort
we live our lives knowing our labor returns to nothing
knowing we will not be here forever
and i tell him
that even though i don’t want to give to something that i’ll lose
that he’s an very excellent person to be alive with
he says he is crying because i’ve made him happy
i have been crying because i am haunted by my own death
i am crying because i am so happy i can be okay while i am alive

Love dragged me back to the coals.
With a mask of charcoal and blood.
I remember now how the blackbird
sings the song about the dead.

I wish you could hear the words
they'll sing upon my empty grave.
I wish you knew the hollow chorus
to bring my brain back to the pains.

So now I whisper a scream
and ask for just your time.
A moment perhaps, a second.
for in the end it's yours and mine.

Hold on to that thought
To that object, to that lot.

Keep trying, keep living
Keep doing what you love.
Something, anything
That keeps your mind above.

That doesn't make you sad,
That doesn't make you cry.

That doesn't start the cutting,
The dying and the lies.
Something, anything,
That makes you keep breathing.

Clutch that last straw with all your heart,
Your mind, you soul, oh all so broken apart.

Your bones are shattered
And your will is fractured.
Your mind is mutilated
And your heart has ruptured.

Black and white.
The colours of the sky.

They make me want to fly,
Soar so high
Above, so that I will never have to
Come down again.

For though my body is broken, my mind is free;
And that's the object that I sought to keep.

Like a rose I bloomed
Like an Echinopsis
I was gone in a day
Too weak to stay