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s 12h
I find it interesting
that sad times
make the best poems
because when you're sad
you think more than usual
and it creates beautiful art
which is sad and good
because we have to get our feelings out somehow
right?
I understand that I am not okay.
I probably never will be 100% okay
I had someone ask me
"so you've learned to be okay with not being okay+
and that's exactly what I have done
and I honestly think its okay
dang
Amanda 5d
The darkness captivates light & receives nothing
but pure dust and a light breeze.
Heaven can you save me.
I am blind & severely hurt.
Seized & disconnected.
Pondering on racing thoughts,’ones that seem to cry.
I am a lost samurai,
vanished from power,
abandoned in a mist of…
despair.
Where & what is reality?
I am not trying to escape from my head,
instead my head is holding my brain captive.
It wants to grow.
It wants to bloom.
I can not speak.
Tears have drowned & suffocated my lungs.
You will not hear the foreign language I stutter now.
I seek for revenge but who do I seek?
This “fake” reality that I am living,
will it ever stop.
This recklessness of my thoughts,
will it ever decease & make any sense.
I  need to calm the chaos,
as I try to understand & accept the mind.
As I am a … samurai.
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Alexis Oct 1
A sudden cloud, an electrifying touch
She held the assumption that she wasn’t worth too much.
She walked down a path
And to an open road,
And raised her hands up
Like the drops would pour right down.
She screamed at the gods.
Who she thought were there to listen.
And the only thing she clung to were her old  bag of crystals.
She was a rainmaker,
She couldn’t control the events that went on close to her heart,
So she wanted to make the raindrops
Drop
      Hard.
solitude marks the height of my contentment
no agreements to make
I don't have to see faces
nods smiles masked aggression
I don't have to act
I don't have to trade facade for facade
with my peers
do I even have peers?

at night, I feel a stillness
so deep, so harsh, so honest
I don't have to live this lie
explain why I'm fine
why everything is fine
because, it's not
nothing's fine

I am a million clashing universes
filled with endless dying stars
and I reach out
to the other universes
and shrink back
  back
          and at night
I fill the stillness
  the stars collapsing
every synapse bending
toward destruction

no want
               no need
                             no crying out for more

at night there is no other
no one to say my name falsely
and when I sleep
the ocean of my subconscious
carries me to sleeping cures
takes me away for years
to great expanses of colorful
living worlds
where I feel
where my emotions are tangible
solid
and
       they keep me company for
a millennia
         I wake to this doll world
where a friend asks
how are you doing
and she's doing it out of obligation
                                                and there's no color
and I have no emotion
and I feel nothing

Life is the waiting room for the exploration of that dream world

and every night
I taste it
I touch it
I breathe in its vibrance
and the only want
is to never wake
to this grey world
to never have to answer

"fine"

again
Amaris Oct 7
if i can act like i'm okay, am i?
everything i say can turn into a lie
of course i'm good, it's all fine
where do i have to draw the line
well if i'm really being honest:
(after all i made that promise)
i really want to get better but i'm so tired
i don't want to be awake but my mind's on fire
Sueño Oct 5
My mood shakes
Like squealing breaks
Unknown lies
One bad scene
A compromise .

I was told
To hold my breath
But soon enough.
I’ll feel regret
But I can’t be bothered
To feel again
To lose myself
To lose a friend.

So I tell myself
Breath, you’ll be okay
I feel so tired
And so dismayed

Can he see again
Will it take time
Focus on
My blurry mind .

When I spin
Out of control
This world seems so cold
And I know it’s wrong
To put you there.
Entwined into
My tangled snare .

I was told
To hold my breath
But soon enough.
I’ll feel regret
But I can’t be bothered
To feel again
To lose myself
To lose a friend.
Say I won’t
Worth a try
writingsolo Oct 4
i..
I am closed but wide open
I wonder why people hide behind two faces
I hear what people don’t want said
I see the falling stars as they run down faces in the night
I am closed by wide open

I pretend to like only the right side
I feel like dreams don’t soar as high
I touch down on a road few willingly take
I worry that life will go by and another will take my place
I cry that you’re not here to remind me and others
I am closed but wide open

I understand why I can’t tell certain things to people
I say that “I’m okay” that “I’m just tired”
I dream to be far away with my dreams, a raven in the night sky
I try to make it along and not shed a tear, or of red
I hope that I will make it so I can see a final sunrise
I am closed but wide open
Alexis Oct 4
His voice felt like the waves behind our ridged bodies,
Dipping with every syllable
Then rising to a crescendo.
He was desperately trying to smooth over his pugnacious  words with a cool breath of salty air.
He was failing while trying to success.
He was a shark
The prey
And still he was the minnow who wouldn’t last a day.
She was a lioness
Who roared into the night
And still she was the fear-all doe
Running for her life.
They battled a winless battle
They tried each other with not one drop of ***’s grace.
And still at the end of each other’s trials.
the waves gently brushed against their feet.
This was sort of a poem to discuss the feeling when everything falls apart but then you realize even if you’re falling apart everything else is the same.
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