If you are reading this, I am dead. I am writing this before I die, just to explain why I did. I know that my death may have come as a shock to all of the people who knew me, and I am deeply sorry for every single one of you. But I want you to understand why I did it. I have never been depressed. I have never experienced a suicidal thought in my life. I was blessed with being born in a happy family and I didn’t really have to worry much as a teenager. My life was a healthy balance of good and not so good times, so I lived to be a rather content guy. The thought that I had been unhappy my entire life never once came across my mind. Until I met her. Her. I can’t really explain to you through just a letter, words don’t do what I’m trying to say much justice, but I’ll try my best. She was, undoubtedly, the most beautiful thing I had seen in my entire life. Every single thing that had ever attracted me before was suddenly dull, I didn’t even care about them anymore. I didn’t care about anything anymore. All I cared about, in that moment, was time. I wanted it to stop, so she could just stay there, in front of me, forever. There was something about her, I don’t know what it was. I remember looking into her eyes, and they were just so full. She smiled when she saw me, and I knew in that moment, in that very moment, that the vision of this girl would be in my head for every single minute from now. That every time I close my eyes, I would see her. We dated, for two months. I ruined everything. But the thing is, I didn’t even want to. I loved this girl, I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted to kiss her every night, I wanted to kiss her every morning, I wanted to spend every second of my life loving her. She was the only time in my life when I actually knew anything. The only time I see her now is when I close my eyes. I regret losing her. But I feel like everything’s ruined, I ruined it all. As much as I hate to admit it, I had finally found a girl that was everything I wanted, and everything I wanted was too good for me. I didn’t die because we are not getting back together. I died because being with her made me realise how ****** my life was. How I have had depression, how I have experienced suicidal thoughts, how every moment before her that I thought was happiness was boring and mundane. How could I go back to **** when I experienced heaven? How could I go back to heaven after I brought it ****? If you are wondering why I did die, it’s because I saw her every time I closed my eyes. A vision of this one girl that taught me what love was, what happiness felt like, what the value of things in life really were. I died so that I could close my eyes, and live with the vision of her forever.