Busy procrastinating
And watching the day pass by,
Lets go there, lets do that
People say, but I deny.

Thinking about world politics,
And why do people die.
Doing anything for it ?
No thanks. No need, said I.

Hoping earth to be
A better place to thrive,
But not working in that direction,
Ever wondered why ?
chaotic thoughts in a boring noon.
Geanna 1d
I think too much
yet
I don't think at all
~ G.P.O
Rowan 2d
Future fear is such a foe
It clutches your hopes
It rips your confidence
Scratches your smile
With a weird harsh noise
The same way a pencil
Would scratch a chalkboard

It closes the curtains of your eyes
Opens a window of doubts
There is where it stands
It Shoots rocks of what ifs
Breaking your glass heart of hopes

And you stand behind
With it pulling your legs backwards
From life
You stand there
With it painting your mind black
Till you cant get excited
Your mind
Becomes a tv with no signal
Future fear
Is white noise

But you grab your pride
To take the lead
You let your soul loosen up
Humming while it flys
Now listen up
You’ll turn on the lights
To search for your smile
To see
You’ll have it clear
Future fear will never again
Observe you as its home
War
I am at war with the thoughts I know I should not be thinking
, and the birds that have made nests in my stomach.
sometimes i feel like i’m not strong enough to take on this life. it never stops. things are thrown at you non stop. you need to make decisions, even when you don’t know what to do. sometimes you don’t know what you want. other times you know what you want with the possibility of being wrong. it’s so difficult to relax your mind for one second. you have a constant feeling of racing thoughts. you want to make everyone happy. but you can’t. and for some reason it is so hard to do things to make yourself happy. you don’t feel like your good enough. you wonder how some people can say you are good enough for them, and wonder why the person you want to be good enough for expects more. you wonder why all of this is happening. what possible lesson is coming out of this. after everything you have been through, you want to be done. you want to find the one you will spend the rest of your life with, even at the young age you are at. not realistic but still possible. you want to be done with searching, you want to be done with having to heal. you sometimes just want to stop everything. or at least get one moment to have a blank mind and not have to think about anything at all. the bittersweet thing is, life does not stop for anybody.
I promised myself I'd call today
so that I could somehow convey
that I think of you an awful lot,
but I'm sorry. that's as far as I got.

It's happened before. Probably will again.
And each time I think I will call you when
my emotions are less raw and calm down a bit,
so you only hear Happy in the words I transmit.

But doubt flickers behind it all,
killing the idea and I don't call.
And always, I re-vow my intent
but I'm sure you thought me negligent.

How could you know though? Surprised, I cry.
All those indecisive moments have passed me by.
Those moments I chose silence were easier on my fears,
but my God, all those moments have turned into years!

So today, please don't be quite so inclined
To believe you were never on my mind.
You were-so much-but all the what-ifs
effectively induced my paralysis.
Nobody knows
Thus nobody cares
So I sit alone
And everyone stares
Silence is deafening
It says much more
Than the words I keep in
My mind at war

-AJT
Bella 5d
Imagine
blonde ponytail swinging from brunette root
angles in a straight line with her jaw bone
Pouted lips
and manicured eyelashes
layered in dark,
heavy fabrics
to counter her fair skin
and tall golden brown boots

Her hands are heavy
sharp.
Her eyes are tired
her jaw compresses.
Up and down
chewing on gum
she has a few red scars
scattered on her cheeks
like freckles

She's curved
not necessarily slouched
but more like
it's the only way to fit all of her her into her chair
her legs are closed
her earrings dangle
as if in mid-air

She's thinking,
constantly
thinking
This is for Lilly
Four people in the car. You’re in the front seat.

Your head drifts towards the cold car window
And you begin to think…

You think about all that you’ve been through
And how far you’ve come
You think about all the people you have hurt
And the scars that decorate your heart
You think about parties from college
And the tears you’ve shed behind closed doors
You think about the love you’ve lost
And the love you don’t deserve
You think about whether people really care about you
And how little you care about yourself.

I watch you from the backseat
As you begin to drift off into a light slumber
And I think to myself…

“Fool. Don’t you realize how beautiful you are?”
"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden." - Claudia Ghandi
Sometimes
There's so much on your mind
So many thoughts
You don't realize
There's not a sound in the air
Yet in your mind
There was sound everywhere

And silence
Could not bring you to despair
Because you never heard it
In the first place
18.06.2018
Those times your so absorbed in thoughts you don't realize not a sound came out. Or that awkward moment where you realise you had not said a word to someone you were with because it was quite loud, in your mind.
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