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CGW 13h
Every now and then
A thought
Inside of us.
Lingering orchestral emotions stranded on the deaf note of darkness.
All this in the final exhale.
I sometimes find myself wondering what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. Would I be the person I am now? Would I have more freedom? Would I have less freedom? Would I be happier? Would I be sadder? I tend to think that we are put in certain situations to test our strength and our abilities to either move on or give up, BUT now I'm not so sure... Are we being tested? Are we being watched? Are our lives being planned out as we speak? So many questions and very little answers.  Maybe we are supposed to live the pros and cons of life but maybe I'm just over thinking.
The After Effects
After hours of hearing her sweet voice
that drifts me to sleep every night.
Sometimes softly that I shrink in my bed,
occupying a very little space just like
a snail  getting into its shell for sleep.
And sometimes scolding me just like
a mother would do & sends me to sleep
& I would go to sleep like a sincere child
following his mom's command.

After those beautiful hours of my
meditation session,
My favourite soothing music,
My best part of the whole day,
Comes to an end
when the sun rises.
In the morning when I'm already awake.
(I don't wait for this moment to come.)
I now stay awake hoping today.....
today might be the day when she won't leave.

Her first deep breath in the morning,
Followed by an adorable yawn &
stretching of the body just like a cat does.
"Good morning" she whispered.
That's when my day actually starts.
That's when the sun, for me, rises.

I won't say anything(I know that's weird)
But just because I want to stay calm &
listen to those breaths and whispers
one more time which will leave an
everlasting impression on my mind
& I could, somehow, spend the rest of the day,
thinking about her and wait for the night to come.

"Now it's time to go" whispered her voice again.
I feel like a prisoner who was just enjoying
his talk with someone special over phone
but on either side of that glass.
I would give her a sweet kiss & she would
smile(I can see that smile)& say goodbye.
A clickety-clackety sound of her earphones,


I could now only hear the noise of my fan.
My own heartbeat.
The after effects when she leaves, are really so drastic...
my thoughts are like a ball of yarn
i pass my time
unraveling my own mind

it's almost like there is a combination lock
the dial is hidden in my iris
come open pandora's box
and let loose the ocean blue

maybe it won't drown you
I think not once
Nor twice but thrice
But all my thinking
Aren't making me wise

The decision which I took first
Then changing it completely with the second thought
And with the third cogitation
I am lost

Maybe I'm slow
To switch on the brain
Or I might be afraid of thoughts rain
As it keeps on coming from dusk till drawn

At this point of time
I guess it's better to sleep
Although there also lies the fear of dreams
Which brings with it all different kinds of believes
vanitas Sep 12
There’s a flaw in my code,
Gears that turn underneath my skin
I’m an artificial intelligence program
Designed to learn amongst my species
There’s a flaw in my code,
No matter how times I rewrite it
Another pop up window appears
Until I’m overwhelmed by the Trojan Horse
Infecting my system
From the inside of my wires
To the memory stored in my SD card
There’s not enough space, not enough megabytes
To store away my corrupted files
My system’s shutting down
Because there’s a flaw in my code,
That only allows me to download people’s data
To mimic it, to rearrange their terabytes as my own
Constantly refreshing my browser
Like a webpage that won’t load
I’m stuck on the constant, spinning wheel of death
That’s how I know it’s time for an upgrade
Delete all my data
Try again?
There’s a flaw in my code,
Designed to be replaced
By artificial intelligence
; there’s a flaw in my code
I don’t think of you that often
The eyes and faces all turned themselves towards me
Love no one
However, we may suffer
It’s funny, if you do, you start missing everybody
And I’m afraid
My failures: I had not forgotten them
To have survived so long
It happened, I stopped loving him.
Lyn-Purcell Sep 12

Imagine if we could unlock the
secrets within the dust...

Dust motes and sweat stains
Faded graffiti over rusted steel plates
Advertising everything, from politicians to a massage parlor,
The engine roars disgruntled, in smoky rancor.

I stepped on your feet, said I was sorry
Tell me mister, could you tell I was lying?
Pushing through the rush-hour crowd
I finally found my footing and was proud.

Well, there’s something to be said for low expectations
A word of praise for cranky co-passengers.
Not that the polite ones aren’t fun,
When they smile and roll their eyes like they’re so done.

And it’s not that I’d ever expect sincerity,
At 10 on a rainy Tuesday morning
I’m not a nihilist, or even much of a cynic by default
But at 10am, I take nice with a bucket of salt.  

I put on my headphones, crank the volume up to max,
Sway to the shrill screeching of pirated tracks
I’m sorry, did you say something? I can’t really tell.
It’s not you’re uninteresting, it’s just that this song is swell.

And maybe I could’ve made more of an effort
Gotten to know your name, exchanged toffees and emotional support
Maybe you’d have told me your story, if my ears were free
Maybe we could’ve found something worth a keep.

But you see, mister, it’s not you it’s me
At 10 on a Tuesday morning, I’m not the best company.
I hope, tomorrow, you’ll find a co-passenger worth your time,
As for me, facelessness suits me just fine.
Kora Sani Sep 11
you wrote me
into your past
it is there
i will stay
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