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Samael 2d
I'm better off when I'm dead
Want a bullet through my head
Paint the floor deep dark red

"I love you" that's what she said
Hurt is all she left me with
I'm better off when I'm dead
Memories...
no matter what I do,
I don't feel alive anymore.

but when I did feel alive,
I wished I was dead.
in the winter
death is a white hare

in the summer
it takes the colour of the forest

this hare is rather fearful
it only sits on its hind legs
and looks around
careful not to be spotted

and as old as it is
no one has ever seen it
more than once
It is not death that
worries me, it's the moments
that come before it

5:05 PM
20/10/20
Jay M Mar 2019
When the night come and,
The moonlight hits my face,
I leave behind the ones I love,
Will they ever let me go?
I've been so cold,
And while I grow old,
I can feel it growing too,
Festering beneath the skin,
I think it just might win,
My resistance is wearing thin,
Soon, I feel myself...
Fading away...
Into the dead of night...

- Jay M
October 24th, 2018
This one is a little odd, and I feel that I could have done better. I won't fix it though - this is exactly as I wrote it, and I will leave it as such.
if I die,
I know that my eulogy
would be read aloud
by my biological family
with tears in their eyes
and sad, solemn voices.

it’s scary to think
that if I die,
my eulogy would be read
by the same people who
once wished for my death.
my child asks me
daddy,
do dead people dream?

no,
my dear,
only we dream

they are already awake
I remember days when I’d fall asleep
with the lights on and
my glasses still on my face.
What happened to those days?
Anymore, it seems like sleep
has to be summoned.

The way the dead are summoned,
it takes an incredible amount of work
to drag some one
from the other side.
please make it stop
the pain of a beating broken heart
why wont it stop?
nothing is moving
except the hand on my clock
when will it stop?
it's unbearable
terrible
maybe i can rip it out
or drive a stake through it?
something please make movement
everything is so still
am i alive?
have i died?
all the days they seem to blend
will this pain not go away
not even at the end?
god make it stop
**** me if i'm not already dead
someone please
i'm begging you take my head
there's a battle going on inside my mind
i dont know what is real
i dont know what thoughts are mine
constant gunfire
everything moving except for time
the casualties are high
i gather and lay our dead in a line
my brain is bleeding
its turning more sour than a lime
i'm going insane
trying to replace what i can't find
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