s 1h

liar, liar
pants on fire!
you lied again?
oh god, a fire!
put it out before anyone see
oh what a shame it would be
if anyone were to see!

liar, liar
pants on fire!
once again,another lie?
that's won't fly!
pack your things and head for the road
those habits are getting old

Time ticks on my bedroom wall clock,
and my weary head needs sleep.

              It's much too cold inside my room,
               why won’t my discontentedness ever stop?

I toss and I turn every which way,
and I can't seem to feel right at all.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so beside me won't you lay?

Each hour that passes takes a toll,
and there's a simple solution to my problem.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so won't you warm my body and soul?

originally written 12/30/16

Before the ride begins, you always look over the rules and regulations. You look ahead as the group in front of you gets on, and you expect something similar. You've never been on before, and it seems fine enough. You're scared, but he takes your hand and swears that things will be fine. He's been here before when things were a little rocky, but he assures you that this time around, things will be smooth sailing. Glancing over your shoulder, you see the group that was in front having a fun time. The group and his words are enough to convince you that it's okay to get on.
          The ride starts out a bit slow, building up your anticipation. This is how it started with the last group, so things should be fine. He holds onto your hand even tighter, and tells you that things will only go up from here. The ride takes you higher and higher, and the view looks amazing from where you are. Everything seems so perfect, so wonderful. You look down to see the clouds below dancing around, and he looks amazed as he looks at you. This is an amazing time, this is what you had been hoping for. This was all you could have ever wanted. And then, that's when the ride stopped.
          Things were going just fine, so you start to panic a bit. He tells you that this is normal, and that things will pick up once again. You don't recall the other groups stopping completely, but you have a bit of faith in the situation. You believe that things will eventually be okay, but that doesn't stop you from freaking out. You are new to this, it's understandable. Some things are just a bit unprecedented and you can't predict these situations. And as you start calming yourself down, things start moving again. But they move downward.
          Rapidly, your stomach lunges towards your heart and your heart towards your head. You can barely breathe as this downward spiral takes control of you, and there seems to be little you can do. When there isn't any room for you to be in control, it worries you sick. And i'm the midst of all that is going on around, he lets go of your hand and reaches for his own safety feature. Falling, you shut your eyes tightly and pray that it's over soon, though you never did believe in that higher being much.
          All you can think about is how this wasn't so visible before. The other group still held onto one another when things seemed to go downward, and it didn't seem to go nearly as fast. And you didn't expect him to let go of your hand, you needed that reassurance constantly, and he let go. But he needed his own reassurance, so that is perfectly fine. You are understanding, and you just silently cry as the ride seems to go on forever downhill.
          Until, it climbs again. You open your left eye to peek to make sure you are still alive after such a traumatic point. You look towards him, and though before he did let go, he was still there. And he weakly smiles at you, and grabs your hand again. "Sorry." he mutters. And you gladly accept it. You understand now that things aren't going to be perfect all the time. It will take patience and trust and only then will things be okay in the end. It is slow to the top once again, and though you know that eventually, things will go downhill, this time you are prepared. And though he may just let go again for his own safety, you still will hold on until the ride is over. That is what you must do.

originally written 11/20/16
Mims 3h

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....
This song,
Has been stuck in my head since tuesday,
I overheard you singing it to your daughter,
A father,
A relationship,
I will never have.
You're only three,
And your life seems so easy,
Financially stable parents,
Loving father,
I have to admit sometimes I'm jealous,
the life you'll have,
Will be the life I've always wanted.
But could never grasp.
Is a good man,
And he,
Will always love you,
Have a bad man,
And he never loved me.

And I can't be too bitter,
You're only three,
But I wish the way that they loved you,
Would love me.

If you were here right now
i would probably jump into
your skin and swim in your
veins forever.
despite all the bruises
the lying
the name calling.
i begged for god
to give me strength to leave
and now that you left me
i beg god for the strength to move
on and breathe.
you took everything from me.
how does someone come back
from this?
how do i learn to breathe again?
i'm so used to feeling fear
because of you.
now i'm finally free.

Eloi 9h

by crimson drop,
contaminated blood flows,
down onto
his buried bones.

                                                         ­                   a painting born from blood,
a child with dreams of death and mud,
                                     bodies made of severed tongues,
dust and dirt fill their lungs.

mouths sewn up,
eyes sewn shut,
intense listening,
whispers of their deathly scriptures.

nothing known to them of mortality,
endless pain,
endless death.

Heartmouth 11h

Remember how I was talking about how my dad makes up songs when he does stuff?
So does my step-mom.
When she was pregnant with my little brother,
she was always bored and complaining that she couldn't hike to the fishing lake we go to. (We call it the Secret Spot).
So, dad and I decided that we would drive to the manmade lake down the block from our house.
Mandie got so happy that she busted out singing
"I'm... Going fishing!!!
"Fishing is where I'm going!!!"
She was so happy about it and she sang it the whole two minutes it took to drive to the lake.
Now every time we go fishing, we sing it.

My family is extremely weird and unique.
oni 12h

i saw you in a photograph
smiling like someone trying to be happy
i am not sorry for you

JAC 14h

Laughter won't come so easy
Hands will stop being soft
Conversation will empty
The same jokes will tire
Lips will taste of past
Messages will slow
Desire will falter
But for now
Things are
So good.

Heartmouth 15h

When I was very little, my dad used to make up songs about what he was doing around the house.
Getting ready to go fishing, he'd make up a song.
Making lunch; he'd make up a song.
And once, he was making coffee, and I vaguely remember it.
My dad was holding me while he was pouring the coffee into the coffee filter,
The water in the coffee pot.
I remember him looking at me and smiling and then he sang:
"I love coffee," he'd sing and I'd echo with what he'd sing.
"Coffee every day,"
"When I wake in the morning,"
"It gets me on my way."

I love you dad. Even all of your weird embarrassing songs.
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