There is a place between life and death
A place where you can bathe in nebulas and saturate your skin in the dust of the stars.
Where colors consume you.
And angels play medicinal harps.
Rainbow flares and flashs kiss your eyes.
Sound is felt within every part of your consciousness.
So open your eyes as wide as you can so you can see the universe as it was ment to be.
i never thought i'd make it this far.
let's start with that.
i never thought i'd have someone look me in my eyes and tell me they're in love with me and see such a bright future, with... me.
i never thought i'd live through all of the pain, agony, torture, slices and burns on my arms and legs, yelling, screaming, and dark hallways.
i never thought i'd find a light.
i never thought it would be hiding within myself, just waiting for the spark to ignite all that i am worth.
i am more than their cruel words and intentions.
i am more than circumstance and shitty situations.
i am more than anyone expected me to be.
and everyday i grow and surpass all of that more and more.
i am 16, going on 17.
and for once, there is light, there is a future, there is kindness.
my eyes have never been so open.
i hope no one comes to close them again.
I'm wrapped in your protective arms.
Your touch lingers.
The feel of your soft skin still burns.
Your aroma drowns out any pain.
I hear your heart beat as I lay on your chest.
Slow and rhythmic.
Even though I'm not looking up at you, I can feel your smile.
A stupid, goofy grin on your face.
But as my eyes flutter open to look at you.
To study and take in every curve and shadow of your face.
In a cold and empty bed.
I look around for any trace of you.
I stare at the ceiling blankly.
How can dreams feel so real?
Wave after wave comes crashing in—
not in a chaotic way,
But rather in a slow, rhythmic motion.
Push and pull.
The waves move with a purpose.
Cascading one after another.
Flowing steady and strong, but at the same time soothing and calm.
The harmonious, sweet symphony lulling me into a trance,
Pulling me in with its beauty.
My heartbeat slows with each wave,
Inundated with peace.
I close my eyes.
The waves draw me closer and closer.
The droplets of water on my skin pull me from this world.
They envelop me like a warm blanket.
The water makes me feel light.
The weight of the world cannot hold me down.
I'm dancing upon the horizon of the sunset that separates my reality.
The sun radiates and warms my soul.
I am untroubled.
I am carefree.
All the anger, sadness, and pain
Is washed away.
I am happy.
The waves erase the line in the sand between my dreams and reality,
And my soul is
I found my boots where I discarded them five hours ago when I left for work
I shouldn't have been surprised- I knew I had put them there
I just usually don't
My boss was still around when I got there
He put me on an hour earlier for Fridays, so I suppose I'll see him every once in awhile now
When it's just a little too early for him to go home
I hate leaving for seven am in the dark with my hair wet
Distant shuffling noises, echoed ghosts of late last night
Shadows I can't understand
Only cut through by kind people who make breakfast when I can't pull myself together
Our habitat is warm- it surrounds me like a rainforest exhibit in a museum
Somehow not unfamiliar, or exotic,
Exactly like you expected,
Exactly like the pictures
I fell asleep at noon when I got home
Late nights to early mornings to interviews for a real job
Late nights to early mornings to nursing classes
So it goes
I don't remember when my socks came off
When I crawled into bed
When I woke up half alive
I wouldn't have remembered to leave for work at all if I hadn't set an alarm late last night when I got home
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
No time at home, just notes and then more notes and then
Sleep, I guess
Sleep and work and sleep at work as long as I'm on break
Not breaking focus, eyes on some sort of goal I can't quite see yet
But it's there, I know it's there, I've heard it, like a rumor spread so many damn times you can't help but believe it like the most obvious fact
So I'm here, straight as an arrow
Shorts on, notebook out, letting my tea seep into my spirit and fill in all the cracks before I start over