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Hg Oct 2018
she was quite the actor
always on a role

lights camera affection
putting on a show

she was quite the model
never had to pose

every lie was candid
such a natural
Helena Abondano Jul 2018
Life does not reward
Or looking cool
smoking a cigar
When you look away
No one's looking at you

You act so nonchalant
And spend so much time
(your speech)
You've forgotten what you meant
To say
Riot Jul 2017
""It's weird, you know. Meeting all the requirements for living things, but not feeling like it. You tell yourself just breathe, breathe in an out, in and out, until you can do it without reminding yourself. I find it amazing. What makes us human? Genetically, trillions of things, but what makes us separate from all these 'wild animals'? Compassion? Compromise? I haven't seen that in years. At least not in genuine fashion. Those all come at a cost. Everyone wants something in return for it. I think that's what fuels my fire, knowing everything comes at a price."
"Love comes at no cost" she'd say.
"Love comes at the highest cost: there is expected love in return. There, you are expected to keep living, breathing. They want you around, even if you don't want to be there yourself. That's the cost of living and love. Doing more than just existing in this world, even if it's just for others sake.""
depressing I know, sorry
Riot Jun 2017
I want you.

I want to know your favorite color and your middle name.
I want to know about the people you hate and how you found out you loved women.

How do you make your sandwiches?
What foods do you like and can’t pronounce?
What places do you want to see and what words do you know but can’t explain the definition?

Can we cuddle?  
And by cuddle I don’t just mean lay on you, because trust me, I can do that without cuddling. By cuddling I mean let me hold you till you forget your problems and I finally stop talking.

I want to call you baby. I want to sit in a room, with you, listening to jazz music.

I want to feel your pulse and you feel mine,
I want to hear your heartbeat dance to the rhythm of the same songs on the corny playlist on Spotify I made that remind me of you.

The Special Playlist,
(I call it)
The Makeout Playlist,
(you do).

I want to only be about to hear our synced hearts
and the slow songs
and the weight of the world leaving our shoulders
plopping onto the floor with your worries
and the jacket I took off of you when you first came in.

I want you to tease me
because I significantly failed as a former lesbian
because I’ve never watched Orange is the New Black
or The L Word
“You’re not Lesbian certified”
You’ll tell me.

I want to speak to you
In my limited German vocabulary
and watch *** movies
and let you tease me even more
when you find out I can’t sit through *** scenes
even the really *** ones,
and ****** isn’t my thing.
It’s okay though,
Your laugh is cute.

And I want to kiss you.
I want to kiss you like
we’re those ***** *** teenagers
from Romeo and Juliet,
(but with a better ending).
I want to kiss you like
there’s nobody else in the world
And there aren’t people who hate me for liking you
And your family won’t care if you love me because
I want to kiss you.

Let me buy you flowers,
and want to take you on dates.

Let me take you to McDonald’s
and order off the dollar menu because
I believe in treating my girl right
(And I get an employee discount)

let me tell you why I churches make me nervous
and how I don’t believe in God and
why I don’t like birthday parties
And how I want to have my cake and eat it too
Even though I hate cake
And prefer cupcakes,
But nothing is better than cake if that’s you.

I want you to know why I played trumpet for three years then switched to baritone,
I want to know if you’ve ever done drugs and how it felt.
What are your morals and values?
What’s your utopia?

I want to send you goodnight texts and spend hours talking about nothing
And dance offbeat with you because
neither of us could have rhythm to save our lives.
I’ll let you scream fight me when I let you win in games I would destroy you at because you get that goofy smile when you think you’ve won.

Introduce me to your family and I’ll show you mine.
Let me see your baby photos and we can see foreign movies on Netflix.
Let’s go out for coffee and ask deep questions.

I don’t care, okay?
I just want you.
I need less free time
Riot Jun 2017
"It was just a joke, stop being so serious."

I haven't been to church since I was 14.

At age 7,
I was introduced to my new baptist church.
I recited scriptures and played game and was always excited to go.

At age 12,
I was heading into middle school and won the church's bible challenge.
I was queer, I was Christian, I was unexcited to go to church.
It felt like everyone was staring.

When I was 13,
I had my first kiss with a girl,
my first major girl crush,
my first run in with homophobia.
My classmate said **** off with someone else,
my church said mothers should protect their children from homosexuality.
I wondered what was wrong with that.
When I was 13,
I watched my mother clap to the pastor not knowing she had one.
I watched the youth church pastor make fun of queer kids, not knowing he had some in the room.
I watched a girl I knew was *** clap along like she wasn't one of them
-one of us.
When I was 13,
I watched my first crush date my best friend,
she didn't want anyone to know she was ***.
When I was 13,
I came out to my family.

When I was 14,
I went to church for one last time,
A woman prayed the devil take this phase out of me, and put the holy spirit in.
I broke down in Walmart afterwards.

My mother said I never had to go back to that church again.
I still have some dreams about it.

When I was 15,
I declared no religion, I declared no ties to anyone.
I was just black & queer.
Churches make me nervous
What should I compliment ?

The glory of your charming eyes
The royal
P  o  s  e

Your adoring cheeks
Your glowing hair
The divine lips alike
Delicate petals of a
R  o  s  e

✒ ℐamil Hussain
Ejiogu Stanley Oct 2016
If life taught me anything, it's that dreams come with sacrifices.
I had to let go of some bad habits and a couple vices
Cos what's worse than bullets that leave your body lifeless?
Staying alive with ambitions that don't materialize. Its
Pretty funny how some folks fail to realize this
And those who do find the process Pretty demoralizing
It's pretty easy to look pretty in every picture
Changing poses and positions like it's kama sutra
I mean, your life isn't fake, you really own it don't ya?
But in the place of your dreams, you got some guilty pleasure
You swear one day, you'll change and grow
But first let's cop that new iphone;
"Versace Versace, **** I'm glowing"
"No plan B, this is all I know"
E Townsend Oct 2015
there's a part of me that keeps
checking in to see how
your life is going. I can't shield
my curiosity from the pain
when I see that you have replaced
me in each pose
every sunset
and a single smile that
was not catapulted at me.
Kryten Wolfgang Mar 2015
I've been living in my dreams,
Woke up in the wrong reality,
Swimming in the vacant seas,
Asking what it really means,
Tearing the wallpaper off the beaten walls of the hospital halls,
I fall through the open door on the floor,
The phantom step led me to your room,
And now I'm stuck to the roof,
I see you and your time alone,
I found out the truth,
Though it was hard for me to see,
You were hurting more than me,
You had no one to blame but yourself,
And that lack of control was eating you whole,
I reach out to offer my hand as we touch you turn to sand,
Falling through my fingers, I never could get that grip,
Every time your hand would slip and I was left ****** and sick,
Questioning everything, deep in the thick of it,
Thinking deep until I'm sick of it,
I squeeze what's left in my hand and hope for home, I wish for home,
Please take me home,
Before long I was gone, I was home but alone,
I look outside to see you standing,
In a rush to meet your smile I run downstairs,
Open the door but you're not there,
I scan the frame with an empty stare,
"She can't have left without a care, she can't have gone and left me here"
Maybe she's not gone but gone away,
To come back for me another day,
Maybe she'll offer her hand, I'll reach out and turn to sand...
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