You can search your whole life for something  just to see that maybe you wasted your whole life for nothing

Maybe it’s the desire in satisfaction, that leads us towards the attraction, as you get caught in the allure, that keeps you wanting more and more

So when I see the mountains at my gates, I just keep climbing so the hate, doesn’t overtake my fate
So I’ll keep climbing cause it’s never too late, to change my ways

Yesterday I felt good about myself
I thought I looked good in that dress
Today I saw a video of me
And my self esteem went down, I'm down on my knee
I'm working so hard to maintain,
A good physic my self to entertain
My self to be proud of
My self to not be worn off
I count calories every day
A limit I set to always obey
A workout regim to never look pass
Only walking, not taking the bus
I find my legs so thick why?
I find my arms so flabby, No I deny
I'm gonna try to push some more forward
To not give up on this trip, only onward

A TEAM SPORT

[In the voice of your favourite over-excited rugby commentator.]

We're inside the final quarter. We've seen a bone-cruncher of a contest today and there's no sign of a let up, the prayers gather for the next engagement, positioning themselves with practiced confidence, skillfully supporting each other, ready for the push.  You can see every knee and each hand bears the marks from this long muddied pray, red and brown staining every inch of their entwined limbs; - arms and hands holding fast.

Front row.
Second row.
Back row.
Digging in for the big push.

The opposition has played an intelligent game, taking advantage of any lapse in concentration, any sign of tiredness, looking for any weakness to exploit.  The prayers know they can't afford any slips now, they need to keep up the pressure, maintain their advance deep in the opposition's half.  Every yard of gained ground needs to be defended.

The prayers' Coach looks on - look at his smile! You can see the pride he has for his team, he's schooled them on every tactic of the opposition and now that training, that practice has paid dividends. This is a team of prayers that so clearly know each other well, supporting each other every step of the way. You can see their co-ordinated pray, their sustained effort and the sheer pleasure they feel when they are praying together.

The prayers drive on.  The sound of their groans and deep breaths merge into one. There's a rhythm to it, a cadence as together they push and PUSH. 

The opposition's footing is slipping, the prayers' momentum gains pace and, YES! the resistance collapses.  Oh, that must have hurt!

But there's no time for complacency, the prayers re-form their line looking for the next opening, the next opportunity to push forward.

This is a joy to see.  The Coach shouts his encouragement - this was never going to be an easy struggle; you can't dismiss the opposition - they are a seasoned though sometimes disorganised team and they can take you by surprise.  But as we've seen here today, the Coach knows that if his team of prayers keep to the plan and pray to their strengths, the opposition are surely in for a hiding. The prayers will triumph and they will take the winners' crown.
- Back to you in the studio.

You will give it to me
Then you'll take it away
Because somehow for you
Love's a game with to play
My intensity doesn't
Revolve with the days
Or a carousel ride
Love does not work this way

Love can always be broken
And rebuilt like clay
It's not just black and white
In fact often it's gray
But it does not run off
Once it's here it should stay
Not a pendulum swing
Should not back and forth sway

You will love me tomorrow
Could care less today
It is something I did
Or perhaps did not say
A small piece of me dies
Each time you pull away
I'm left here asking 'why?'
On my knees I will pray

The light dying inside
Now a barely lit flame
Have my eyes opened wide
Before I was insane
I try taking the blame
You're the one who will stray
On this coaster we ride
Love's a game not to play

I won't breakdown and cry
Get unstable today
All my feelings have died
In your game I won't play
So I must waive goodbye
'Cause no longer I'll pay
I must do to survive
Love does not work this way

They say, you never really know what
someone else is going through,
and what we going through is real,
its the same for struggles too.
I know life is full of issues,
challenges, and obstacles,
but tell me, when you face to face with it,
what do you plan to do?

Are you gonna freeze up, or
do you plan to make a move?
If life is short, and time is money,
each second is valuable.
No time to waste, everyday,
choices I make are unthinkable.
They say tomorrow isn't promised, so
I'm blessed to have seen twenty-two.

My life is full of the ups and downs,
from a broken home,
I saw my mom abused
with bruises all around.
Her mental health dropped so low,
I cried out to God like "why" or "how"
Drugs did some damage to her brain.
It hurts to just look at her now
****...

That stuff showed me how not to be as a man.
I learned how not to treat a woman
or hurt her with my hands.
The look of fear in my sisters eyes
as they screamed and cried -
Our brains are semi-scarred,
It forever left us traumatized...

But I look at this man who caused us
so much pain and harm.
When he was 7, his mom was
stabbed to death; he held her in his arms.
His father wasn't around.
Jail became his childhood home.
I don't justify his actions, but
things happen that we'll never know...

They say, you never really know what
someone else is going through,
and what we going through is real,
its the same for struggles too.
I know life is full of issues,
challenges, and obstacles,
but tell me, when you face to face with it,
what do you plan to do?
[What's Your Move?]

XVII. Presently Pushing through the Pain

Everytime I let someone to close,
their pain his what hurts the most,
Should have closed them out before they walked in,
Should have known,
Should've known,
Should've known,
Should've known
Forgot what pain felt like,
I was just alright,
But you shut me down,
pushed me out,
Tour me down,
Took a wrecking ball to my face,
I had dreams, but,
you cut them down,
chopped all their meanings up,
Should've known,
but I forgot what pain felt like,
You pushed me down, ........
But..
Do you know what?
I had enough and... I got up,