Lylock 9h
I'm high on the anonymity
Twisting and shifting outside my sight
But it's fine
Because I'm drifting
Past lighted windows
And lamped streets
A million people
Have all done this before
I will not be the first
And I will not be the last
How many people
Will I only ever see once?
I hide behind apathy
A mask of emotionless trance
But I shake and stir
And I toss
And I turn
Like the maddening of a dance

I hide behind little white lies
Like a card game of whatever goes
"I'm alright" I could say
"It's fine"
"I'm okay"
It's the commonplace everyone knows

I hide my childish weakness
Like a desaturated portrait painting
The brush strokes are sharp
And of course
It's still art
But it's lack of color is quite draining
Fight, or flight.
These two instincts drive humanity.
Fight, or flight.
Some people have the tendency to fight,
They are the ones who stick it out, who are there when you don’t want them to be.
They are the ones holding your hand when you’ve pushed everyone away.
They are the strong ones.
Some people have the tendency to fly.
They are labeled as flight risks.
We run away when there’s trouble, we overthink everything, we cannot trust our instincts.
We have been hurt by past trauma,
And this trauma has caused our walls to become impenetrable.
We run, because we are scared.
Do not let us run.
Fight for us.
We need help.
SD 2.5.18
So many people walking by,
So dead,  but still alive.
They're all in a rush to
Get in line.
Familiar faces,  with their smiles
As blank as mine,
Open eyes and empty minds...

Stuck in their patterns,  day and night,
With no release in sight,
They live and die inside their hives...
From nine to five they keep their
Masters satisfied;
White collared slaves who don't realize...

They drown their pain in
Beer and wine,
Illusions of good times.
Just leave your hopes and dreams
Behind...

Check your emotions,
Leave your happy at the door.
Drowning depressions while they're lying on the floor.

I see the sadness in their eyes,
The truth behind their lies.
See, they can't laugh,  and i
Can't cry...

They form the pieces of the same machine,  and I?
I'm standing by,  

Watching your world through heroin eyes...
A poem I wrote during my worst of times.
You fill my Heart
With leaky sodden secrets , First
And Then
Question my Trust
Oh it does Hurt
The Mistrust

Yet
Without Hesitation
Will always help you Fix
Your runny overwhelming Emotions

Your presence in my Life
Time and Again
Will always be There
No Despair
But a place for You
In my Heart
Rare
Alex 1d
Him
I think of him too often
I don't think he ever leaves my mind
I find myself dreaming of him
Or listening to the music he's shown me
Maybe it's cause he makes them go away
The voices in the back of my head
Telling me to do awful things to myself
But I usually don't listen anyway
It's just better when I can't hear them at all
I turn his music up all the way so I can't think
Well, so they can't talk to me
Even thinking of him makes them go away
I guess I just need my weekly shot of him
More than just weekly...
Every night I see him.
Well. I Skype him.
But if it's all I get then I'll take it.
To me, he once was this shy kid
Hardly talked
He was really cute
I asked for a hug and his number
He smiled and gave me both
I texted him
We joked
We became close
I now get a nightly shot of him.
But even that's not enough.
I want to wake up beside him
With him holding me in my arms
I want to always be with him
He is mine
He takes care of me when I'm sad
He holds me close
I thought he’d never let me go.
Until he did…
she loved you.
she did.
she really did.
but
you didn't mind her,
you wasted her,
and now it's over.
The world is full of beautiful things.
Like You, Me and
that one song from our playlist
that we haven't have played yet.
"Go ahead and play that song. That song deserves to be played."
Chaining any people up,
Beating them with whips,
Reducing their existence
To ugly racist quips.
Treating them as cattle
And selling them the same
Is horror of the highest stripe
And is nothing like a game.
This is sin.

Using sales people to lie
And bring people here
Then making them slaves
For a long period of years
Then giving them land
That was part of the deal
And treating them as people
Who only lived to steal.
This is sin.

Dividing good people into
"Them and us" is just wrong
Claiming your god is right
And they should move along
So you can resell their land
And make them move elsewhere
With your laws and red lines.
There is no good in that anywhere.
This is sin.

Not accepting that a people
Have the right to their vote
Then changing the rules
Is playing the wrong note.
Being the richest around
Doesn’t make you right.
You still send them to war
Then deny them equal rights.
This is sin.

Denying human rights
Can never be accepted.
It’s sickness to watch when
Loving people are rejected
And robbed and vilified,
Not once, but again and again,
And raped and murdered
For just the color of skin.
This is sin.

Demanding someone will not
Love who they may want
Is not an attribute that
Anyone should ever flaunt.
Pushing your religion or
You thoughts about decency
Is a heinous way to exist.
It’s a horrible kind of villainy.
This is sin.
At times I feel socially awkward
hiding away those eyes from contact
mumbling and stuttering
as though I were stumbling,
upon the words as I was discovering.

Please don’t think I don’t want to talk
when I rush out,
Please don’t think I don’t want to talk,
when I don’t open your messages.

I escape out of nervosity
I feel the fuzziness in my head
butterflies in my stomach
nervosity in my nerves
lack of air in my lungs
tremble in my muscles
and the gritting of my teeth on my nails
as it drains every ounce of energy out of me.

I hide behind shadows
so I don’t encounter any social interaction.

No matter how many times I plan
and play a conversation in my head
I shudder and fret in reality,
making myself look like an awkward mess.

I want to be friends
I want to say hi
but the words do not escape
for I feel tongue tied.

I feel conscience and dreadful
for being such an awkward mess
choking on words
unable to let them
escape my tongue.

I am thinking
more than I am speaking
I can have a conversation in my head
but somehow, I find it difficult in reality.

But then you reach out
and make the first move
It makes it easier;
only to find myself
being an embarrassment once again.

But you don’t judge
you play it cool
and remain patient
you still show an eager to talk
and maybe that was what I needed
to be comfortable and me.
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