As soon as I wake up, I want to see your face right beside me.
As soon as I wake up, I want to feel your breath against my neck.
As soon as I wake up I want those lips across my face, oh those lips.
As soon as I wake up, I don't want to fear I won't see you again.
I don't want to be afraid to lose you. Or to not have you by my side anymore.
As soon as I wake up, I want you to be there. Even if it's in a dream.

I wish I could have you by my side again.
m j g 3d

we woke up together, enveloped in each other and your bedsheets, to the sound of soft wind chimes in your bedroom window and cars driving past your home. your room smells like your cologne and the laundry detergent my mother used when i was young. you lazily half moaned, half murmured, "good morning, love," and you, with your dazed condition and morning breath, found my lips and met them with yours. you pulled me in closer and ran your fingers gently through my messy, tangled hair, and i inhaled your scent so deeply i could feel it softly settle in the bottoms of my lungs. the morning sun shined through your bedroom window and the shadows of the trees outside danced in the wind along your baby blue bedroom walls. you ran the tips of your fingers gently in sporadic loops along my shoulder blade and spine. we lay there and took it all in, took each other in, our legs intertwined and my head against your chest. for these few minutes i found myself wishing we could live infinitely in these small, precious moments, the ones we take for granted, the ones we only remember when the big picture is gone. i snuggled closer into your arms and we drifted back to sleep, heartbeats synced and bedsheets entangled in our legs.

The tingle
It always starts that way, a tingle in my feet.
Like a tv stuck on channel 3
Not just the channel but me too. Stuck.
Cannot move.
I can see.
I can hear.
Yet I cannot move
     even to blink.
With disjointed movements
and only a shadow on the night
It moves around my room
giggling quietly, no,
c h u c k l i n g
around my bed
around me
And I can do nothing but watch
Forced to watch
until it stands
looking down with a menacing presence
So strong it is palpable
And the static turns to scream
Right into my ear
It pokes me
It snatches at my hair
It snickers and growls and hovers
I am the joke
Minutes, hours pass
Then a jolt passes throughout my body
It's gone
But I am not sleeping
It will be back tomorrow night
It always comes back

Night terrors.... Waking up to my VCR being over and the static buzzing as a kid

It comes for me most every night
So I squeeze my sheet edges, pull them up tight
But not so far that I cannot see
The IT when it begins lurking toward me
Slinks right against the edge of my bed
Squatted on haunches and a tucked down head
With the curve of its spine projecting wiry hair
The smell of its breath wafting up through the air

I still keep my head poking out from my sheet
But my eyes are so squinched that the lids almost meet
No reason to look, as it climbs upbringing fear
The mattress moves like time ticking; it's nearer... near... near

  The hair on my face gives way to its huffs
And a smell, I assume, from devouring............. stuff
Hovering over my face to lick on my skin
Tongue stretched out long and breathing me in

I never do move, or scream out or run
Makes no difference to a creature who does this for fun
After my face, it slides to my toes
Just touching and poking with claws as it goes

Once it's filled up with whatever I give
It slips over my footboard to crawl back where it lives
For all of the work, you would think it a waste
Sneaking into dark rooms for merely a taste

I’ve been whispering a thousand breathless lines to a lover that I will never taste.
Every day I’m reminded why spending time on people is such a waste.

When all I can do is promise words that are as temporary as the scent I leave on their bed.
Whenever morning comes, I’ll quietly leave you sleeping with my ghost inside your head.

Saint Titus May 16

Class action
Fuck the faction, fender bending
Render useless
Car crash contusions
Brused burnt alive
Crying from the pain
Pail full of optional rain
Falling unjustly
Criminals mostly understand
Benefits eat up micromanage nymphos
Following photos sold and sodd off
Getting fucked time and time again
Sawed off block head
Chopping block
Rest again

Hospital bed

Woke up crying
Trying something new
New age medicine
Stomach out the world
Something out the blue
Moving too much
Shut the fuck up
Blunderbuss meets bell
Barely able to hear
Noisy is hell
Death is quite near
Airbag lining
Windbag scilence
Plastic in my lungs
Wind for the sails
Bailing out the titanic with a pail
Pale is formaldihide
Toxin lawsuit

Not a drop to spare

Do you got the time
Nine months to a dime
Rebirth is off the table
Eat the pie (If you're able)
Gotdamn mistake
I mispoke
Slowpoke, speed up
Get stunted from birth
Mirth in the face of change
The fire's still burning
If you'd sacrafice a turn
I'd be more than greatful if you could

Rain on my parade
For a ounce of gold
Cleaning out my brain
And the thoughts untold
Over protective claims
And I'm lying back
Lying bout my name
Just to make it back

Wired shut jaw
I mean that two ways
Split it up right
Money and pain

Amanda May 8

Laid upon my bed,
Next to a cold imprint of you,
Your shape, outlayed in pillows,
No two hearts dance in the night,
Only a single heart beating is heard,
The cold air sets the skin to shiver,
The heat of desire absent,
A night so silent,
The clock echos and mocks,
Time should have you by my side,
But alas i lay empty.

I would be your bed, and be at your beck and call
fulfilling all your fantasies, into me, you'd fall
I'd cradle you so gently, and massage you everywhere
releasing your all your juices, and all your stress, and cares

In splendor we'd heat up the room, and crinkle every sheet
and when we were apart, we'd rejoice, every time we meet
my pillows cradling your face and head, as jasmine scented rests
blending of our fluids as our bodies, orgasmically attest

We'd fall asleep together, and spoon throughout the night
and in the morning waking, to unimaginable delights
my hands as silken sheets caressing, exciting every nerve
giving you the all pleasures, and climaxes you deserve

I was mused into this ;D I may do one about being a shower too ;D
Jack Jenkins May 1

I made a bed of wrong turns and bad choices
  & blankets of regrets and sorrows
I cry myself to sleep in this livid torment
  & dream whilst never awaking...

The closest thing I have to an epiphany...

Time ticks on my bedroom wall clock,
and my weary head needs sleep.

              It's much too cold inside my room,
               why won’t my discontentedness ever stop?

I toss and I turn every which way,
and I can't seem to feel right at all.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so beside me won't you lay?

Each hour that passes takes a toll,
and there's a simple solution to my problem.

               It's much too cold inside my room,
                so won't you warm my body and soul?

originally written 12/30/16
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