my favourite description of love
comes from a curt confession from bukowski:
"love is a dog from hell".

what more does one want to know?
if one has felt love,
and i mean,
really felt it;
suffered for it;
felt the brunt of despair;
known the sleepless nights;
the restless nights;
the doubt;
the belief;
the constant flip flop
between the two;
between heartbreak and happiness;
the will to endure all sadness;
the knowledge that such strength
will only bring about sadness;
the horror of seeing in real time
love end
from the eyes of another;
to have been crushed by a weight
which could leave you without air
for years
and yet oddly
still have the presence of mind
to look back on it with tenderness;
to know that lust and love
are entirely separate;
and one needs only a memory
to keep the embers alive.

then i believe
a dog from hell
sums it up rather nicely.

How could learning how to let someone love you be so personal
When its like the rain?
Everyone feels it fall
But not everyone feels it the same

Some take no notice and move along
Some hear the rain falling on the roof as a song

Some see the lighting before it strikes
Some hear only thunder
But still others...

Some scurry for cover

And still others
Still there's others that dance

So howl at me wind if you would like
Bend the limbs of the trees that line the streets
Move swiftly as you must
Soft upon my skin
I've been waiting long before
The storm ever began

And I've been dancing ever since
I've been dancing

A shiny halo can work loose
and when it slips
it becomes a noose
your sainthood lasts until the day
the rest of us see your boots of clay!

I play songs that make me happy
I play songs to keep me down
I play songs to keep me laughing
like you’re here
But who’ll hear me laughing out loud?

I had friends I could speak my mind to
I had friends that couldn’t care
I had friends that I did wrong to
in high school
And college, boy was I even there?

We had fun, you and I did
We had fun apart from ourselves
We had fun when we were younger and tighter      
together, so why
Did we run from our wealth?

We were silly, inside and outside
We were silly simply for a laugh
We were silly to think you’d get over it
and were silly
To think it would last

You’re still here and so am I, friend
You’re still here only in a different town
You’re still here and time is your friend
let’s end this and
Make amends while we’re still around

You’re afraid, how do you think I feel?
You’re afraid and I’m nervous myself
You’re afraid of the future
and past hurts
We can heal after we forgive ourselves
Oh yes, we can heal after we forgive ourselves

Last night I went to a closed down circus in the city.
A sad clown came up to me.
He kissed me till I had his red lips.
A kiss from a clown is so bold and bright red.
After that you cannot possibly look sad.

So I will go back another night to see if he would be there again.
In my dream later he tells me that this was something between me and him.
Next time bring your tutu dress and I will wear my best suit.
We'll be dancing all night and I'll promise to make your lips bright red.

As I write it all down after last night I hear the neighbours wake up too.
I paint my eyes like his eyes, at least I try to.
But I can't seem to get it right.
So what will I do about tonight?
I shed a little tear, I feel so helpless.
But then I notice it looks good now and I put on the tutu dress.

I take a bus to the city and stare somewhere.
The sad clown must be already waiting there.
At the empty circus.
To give me a clowny kiss.
Only his.

I call for him as I pass the entrance.
Sad clown, sad clown, I'm here for romance.
And so we dance.
Like it's the last night.
It will be the last night...
Red lips, red stains, red, all red, red red, pain.
Don't leave me bleeding, but he goes running as I am dying.

Where are you from?
My answer is
Does it matter?
This question requires a five part answer

Where are you from?
When you say from?
Do you mean -
The road travel by me or my mom?

Where are you from?
If I say Somalia?
Will you leave it there?
Or ask me if I belong to the north, east or the south?  

Where you from, your accent is unfamiliar?
I know, language is imperative
when you're lost.

Where are you from?
The answer is nowhere
I am stranger to places
no matter where I call home.