I was feeling
down depressed and dark. I put some rocks in my cup to uplift my spirits, to climb out of the hole. I want to run on the clouds and touch the sun; go 180 around the third turn. Feel nothing but the wind; go out like Earnhardt Sr. in a blaze of glory. Last lap last run.
The Back Roads
Somehow, you always take the back roads. Narrow. Twisty. The long way around. Supposedly slow. And yet, not. That habit you have of driving too fast for the road gets you there fast as the highways, dangerous and exhilarating both. About this poem A bit of history. A bit of now. Some of it has to do with roads. The picture I used on my blog (www.quarryhouse.us) with this was taken just down the road from my home in West Pawlet, VT. Tom
About this poem
A bit of history. A bit of now. Some of it has to do with roads. The picture I used on my blog (www.quarryhouse.us) with this was taken just down the road from my home in West Pawlet, VT. Tom
Moving faster on than the speed of light
I am stuck here standing still Make the journey look so easy The climb is all uphill I have attempted to take the first step Cannot manage even minute motion Limbs must weigh a thousand pounds Resistance as if in the ocean My awareness acutely sharpens Realize I am in over my head Suspected the pain would hit me eventually Didn't know it would feel like a ton of lead Waves of loneliness continue crashing down Drowning in a sea of solitude Silence keeps me company at night Amplifying disquietude Toxic impure tainted thoughts Stain images in my brain One by one they descend and splatter Like stinging drops of acid rain Poisoning environment Questions harsh and demanding Every breath inhaled is polluted My body somehow remains standing Inside hopes are spiraling to the ground Impact results in fire Burning dignity Blackened and charred Flames that never tire Wayward demons romp in soul Delight in my dismay Carving tic-tac-toe boards into flesh Misery just another game they play I reached a brand new all time low Abandoned strength to care Cannot find the motivation to do Laundry Today I wore no underwear Those unfortunate enough Cross my path Targets for my distress Knowing causing them despair Does not make mine any less I bear witness to actions Hardly can trust my eyes This selfish behavior is that of Somebody I do not recognize A sporadic black hole swallowing light Eclipsing visible sun Pacing anxious circles Trapped Nowhere to run I wonder if you gazed at me now Would you feel any emotion at all? Have you closed off your heart from me A tall Thick Cement wall? For one last kiss I would trade with glee Every possession I own Nostalgia blooms under skin Chilling to the bone I felt lightning when we touched Flash of passion warm and strong I feel frozen without that spark Depending on it so long The galaxies in eyes were deep Brighter than the multitude of heavens stars Shining harder when staring at me Still sparkle wherever you are I miss the way torsos collided Hugging eachother tight Perfect puzzle pieces molded Fitting together just right So much time experienced by your side Why do I yearn for more? Should be content with memories Let you walk out the door An invisible string tethers me here Tied with fear and blame Following like a shadow Like a moth to flame A small voice tucked within Whispered phony fantasies Argued there was still hope for us Was wrong to entertain those pleas You take my universe in palms of your hand With fingers firmly shake It collapses Manage to convince me It was caused by MY mistake Again you paint my world grey Colors fade from sights eyes see I have no right to be mad that you took them away You are the one who gave them to me The day you decided to leave Without saying goodbye Consider a sort of funeral Let our relationship die Twilight finds us separate places Dwelling in a dream I inhabit dreaded ditches Realities worse than they seem But I was affected more drastically By the void left behind You felt a bit emptier alone I lost huge chunks of heart and mind You carried on with your chin held high No ghosts stalking every move Recollection of rippling presence Haunting hologram I can't remove Into self-pity I throw myself Asking for merciful end How else will I find relief? Tried countless ways to mend That ends in certain failure Lacerations cannot fully close They bleed and bleed and bleed Dripping out woes And I was at breaking point Each cell cracked and shattered Exploded into tiny particles Damaged Across soil scattered With a gust of wind was disbanded I'm fated to retrace my tracks Collecting pieces of my soul Haven't yet gotten all back You changed me irreversibly Can't stand my reflection Where beauty you used to know once stood Is a paradigm of imperfection For life of me I can't remember When switched from hot too cold The truth is my temperature dropped My hand is now too icy to hold
Phew. That took awhile to get down but worth the effort. I had a hard time finding an ending but what do you think?
We have so little time
One life, how many decades? Decades how many seconds? Flying by at the speed of light I just want to close my eyes
If you wish to meet Your goal in time Slightest error In the direction You miss the goal Choose right direction Before gaining right speed To reach your goal In desired time
a pleasant memory of riding in cars
taking us to places so near and so far looking out the windows in amazement and wonder as we pass all the sights that make our minds ponder the freeways, the streets, the canyons, and alleys rolling along at great speeds and right through the valleys through the window you see, a whole different world as the wheels roll along and the sights are unfurled... Brian Hill - 2020 # 298
speed it up,
faster faster FASTER FASTER! i'm the main character, speeding down the freeway. hitting 200 on the speedo, not caring where i even go. no traffic, no lights, no laws, who knew loneliness could be so fun. no music, no talking, no one, not even the police to outrun. how can this get any better? my friend tugged on my sweater, "hey peter, get it together, it's only first period."
i just don't want to work on my college work right now, so i wrote this
Light speed, so is it loves speed?
Light speed, so is it loves speed? Light speed, so is it loves speed? The mind of light is a beautiful thing, But the heart of light is a greater thing, Light speed, so is it loves speed? Light speed, so is it loves speed? Light speed, so is it loves speed? The light within is greater, Than all the lights in the heavens, Light speed, so is it loves speed? Light speed, so is it loves speed? Light speed, so is it loves speed?
There is only
one road into this heart- no speed limit, and no exits to speak of.
Lights haven’t looked like this
Since I was in my teens Messing around with my hood rat friends *** and amphetamines I took a handful of Blue Dolphins That were thirteen bucks a pop If we bought ‘em in bulk, I guess As we did more often than not Or maybe a few of the triple stacks Red something-or-others, I think They didn’t work on me this time around ‘Cause I threw ‘em up in the sink Now I am in my thirties And my scripts **** with my brain I know I am speeding my ***** off But at least I feel like old times again
Drugs are bad, m’kay? The best explanation for what they do is that drugs aren’t “bad,” they’re awesome. They’re so awesome that they become all you want to do, and you’ll then do anything to obtain them. You’ll sell your belongings, your body, everything, because you want to feel good again. It isn’t the drugs themselves; it’s what they do to you and make you do for them.