you said I'm complicated,
i say you're confusing,
you said you don't
know what I'm thinking,
i say you never want to
know what I'm thinking,
you said you rather be friends,
i say I want it to be more,
you said you wanted to talk,
i say I don't really feel like it,
you said you're not prepared
to love anyone,
I say you're just not prepared
to reject me properly.
what's the point
in this game of love,
if both of us can't agree
to the same damn thing.
The continuum of existence,
The constant push and pull.
No time left for actual learning,
Just dying undercover,
We're just trying to keep our cool.
So next time you actually think,
Existence is something more than a series of points
Plotted on a paper graph,
Remember this, my child,
Life is shit,
It's just waiting for us to quit.
I'm a child again.
Always stuck in the middle.
No one is looking to make sure
I won't fall and get caught in a riddle.
You've pulled all of their eyes to you.
No one can invite others over.
You've made it so no one can do
the things they were planning to
before you decided to stay with us.
Your dress is beautiful
I know i shouldn't have seen it but i did
The way it fell on your back like feathers laid against your skin
The lace so delicately placed on you as if it were not there at all
Your shoulders glowed under the lights
As you turned your hair fell as if it were on purpose
I saw it and now it replays in my head
One... more... week
I'll turn and smile in aw of your beauty
Like a child finally getting the present he always wanted
I'll laugh as you try not to fall in the heels you were determined to wear on this unleveled ground
We will smile and shake our heads as the room disappears
Just the priest, you, and... I
Two words will echo for all to hear, "I do!!"
At least they would have
I can still hear your car start up
The blinds shook as the door closed
"You cant make me happy"
If only that were the response to my hello two years ago.
But no those words were whispered to me after we kissed and held each other one final time
You said you were sorry like it needed to be said
The color in your face was gone, the tears started to fall, and then it was just me
I sat there frozen
but not why i thought i did..
I see now i didnt move nor chase you because thats what you were use to
I gave up in that moment
I let you leave and now i approach the final stretch alone
Tears dried up
starting to breathe
I wake up and dont even think of you
You know for a while i thought youd come back, that it was just your meds, and i would be fine settling for my shitty life with you.
But now i smile
Yes i am so fucking relieved
One more week until the rest of my life..
without you :)
Like a entire Bison, at a two person, BBQ
or a fight with Tyson, the blindfold put, on you
Somethings never make much sense
the intellect is lost, and no logical, defense
Like finding new ways to die, being an immortal
escape a sinking boat, a much to small, ship's portal
Fathoming the reasons, mental embers glow
but, there's no fire there, why, I'll never know
I have to write it down
My frown will give it away
You're in my heart
But it's to late
In wondering what it takes to escape
Your name on their lips
My psychotic fits
I can't with you
I want to
Some how I still miss you
You've been gone from my life so long
But you're still here
And when I hear your name
You're still here
And I fear
What it's doing to me
who knew it was going to be this way?
for you to believe that your life is amazing and nothing can break this stream of happiness you are drunk on.
for you to only then realise that this is a world you have created as an illusion for this dystopian world that surrounds you.
no one can hurt you.
or so you thought...
you've only ever been open to everyone around you.
this is the source to your ultimate weakness.
and you're the only one to blame.
you're vulnerable and have no opportunity to fix this.
maybe this fact isn't a bad thing; we're just viewing through a negative perspective.
on the road to self-destruction...
and i didn't even notice since i've been blinded.
Seriously, the guy looks like a Greek god.
The spitting image of Zeus, himself.
I trip over words and feelings every time he’s around.
A fumbling mess of, “Hey, how are you?” and “I read your horoscope last night.”
A vibrant pulse of jitters and excitement, because every time I see him I think, “This is it, this is the day he notices me.”
But it isn’t.
I feel like a bubblegum fairy in a world with an abundance of light and dandelions…
Is that stupid?