Leaning by the window
I saw a cold figure spying
Shadowed by the darkness
Then I heard someone crying
Banned to the public,
This place was quarantined
Many lives lost mysteriously
But it looked well maintained
Wandering towards the direction
Of the awful cry, that I heard
I expected, a lost child around
So counted my paces and went ahead
A church bell rang from a distance
Not quite far from a wretched mansion
What's happening, my minds confused
Grasping high on my tension
A bright day, yet the darkness creeps
From the old mansions near the creek
Alone, I am...lost to trace
My body seems exhausted and weak
I stumbled over something
And caught myself sitting on the ground
Alas...I saw skulls and bones
Scattered all over and around
The brightness dimmed
And the gloominess filled the sky
Sitting with a blank mind
Letting the time fly
Upon darkness, I lay on the ground
Submerged with the earthly elements
Engraved on a stone, my name appeared
With few bones hung like ornaments
Certainly, I am far from home
For how long, I've been here?
I don't know the number of days
But it seems more than a year
Dead...I am, yet another failed experiment
Lost count over the years
For my body is no longer in existence
My tortured soul dwells in fears...
There's an avalanche miles above,
I can hear it. It was created
by my shouts of glee
cracking and breaking
the surface of the ice,
causing glittering universes to cascade
into the depths and extinguish
the fires of the damned.
The shadows are striping your body
into a silhouette, light hitting
nowhere, blind eyes gazing at me
There's a snowstorm inside you
and it's going to freeze
the chaos within me,
save me from them molten decay
burning its way through me.
I'm buried under decades
of ice, the brightest white,
healing me as the old sun
finally reaches my skin.
there was ice wrapped
around my h e a r t,
f r e e z i n g it shut.
& then the ice started
m e l t i n g away,
but i suddenly started
f e e l i n g cold.
cause this ice, burning
i n s i d e my v e i n s
has made itself home.
cause once this ice
crystallized, my heart
got f r o s t b i t e.
so just because the ice
is gone, doesn't mean
that my heart has been
s a v e d.
I wonder how many times you have climbed into a tub and thought,
"Wow maybe I could drown in hopes of escaping my life."
I dont know how many of you have thought that but let's just say a few.
One: I step into the tub with my left foot and the water is immensely warm.
Downing pills couldn't be that bad right now.
Maybe I could grab the bottle without anybody noticing.
I wonder if I could make my own concoction of medicine would suffice.
Concoction is a funny word.
Two: I step in with my right foot and everything is tingling from the heat.
If I charge my phone from the plug over there by the sink,
Could I electrocute myself?
I wonder how bad electrocution hurts.
Deep fried food would be nice right now.
Three: I sink into the tub and pull my knees to my chest.
if I lay back now and fight myself from breathing,
Could I do it?
I wonder how long it takes somebody to drown themselves in a tub while fighting their instinct to survive.
I could adapt and grow gills.
Four: I lay back into my tub and watch the water rise.
The water is warm and my body is heavy.
I can't kill myself because my headstone will be something sad,
My funeral will play music I'll hate listening to as a ghost,
People I don't even know will show up.
What if my ex shows up?
Five: I sink lower into the water until I can no longer hear clearly and it tickles the side of my eyes.
What's the point in breathing.
Breathing is so weird.
Why do I have to maintain a body that's going to die anyways?
I wonder what dying feels like.
Six: I've been in here for an hour. Maybe I should get out.
This water has turned mildly lukewarm.
I'd like to stay but I'm getting kinda cold and I like the warmth.
Could I just empty half and add more hot water?
I am sitting in a pool of my own dirt.
Seven: I'm climbing out while simultaneously pulling the stopper.
Theres so many different ways to say that you or somebody is dying;
Kick the bucket.
Pull the plug.
One foot in the grave.
Bite the dust.
Some of them are kinda funny.
Eight: Realizing that I love baths but hate the thoughts that come with the quiet bathroom.
The mental kind of exhausted.
Can I stop now?
Can I just lay down and close my eyes?
My anxiety is overworking me.
Nine: I open my door with a stiff towel and a cold room.
I love the quiet but the quiet kills.
I love my mind yet the way it works is poisonous to me.
In my empty bedroom.
Stay, please, let us stay.
Allow us to remain
Upon this heavenly summoned rock,
Reigning above the valley below,
Where the horizon meets the setting sun,
And now the beastly songs have just begun.
Let us lay here
Within the silence of the whisp'ring wind,
And the cold, biting air breathing on us.
Uncloak the suns that were hidden from sight.
Allow the warmth of mine guide me tonight.