If only we could visualize
The land mines,
Which cause us to fail each time
Falling in line
Of the steps I take
Toward — “I’m fine.”
Could cause me more joy
Then to know,
Where my pain will go
Where it will source
Like scabs —
Bleeding on me,
The inner light which guides me
Just a dim piece of shame
Nothing to show
Or to hide
I will once again call to you
To be my ride.
Through tears and fallen wishes
Eating away at my beating heart.
But I begin anew
To something a lot deeper
Than land mines,
If Silence were a song, it would’ve been your favorite.
You’d play it again and again, like notes that beckon,
And you’d always hum along.
You live in this world where everything you see turns into a weapon-
The sun smiles at you and rips out your light with its sharp teeth,
A suicide note with your name on it tears you, cuts you, and reads you, when it should’ve be the other way around.
You are all alone on the streets,
You are all alone in your room,
You wonder if anyone hears your heartbeat,
You wonder if they hear the clocks tick more than they hear your heartbeat,
You wonder when it’ll stop.
If your heartbeat were a song, you’d hate it.
You’d want it to stop playing,
But it’s always the last song you listen to.
They hear theirs everyday, but fail to listen to yours,
They don’t hear how it screams, “Don’t leave, I need your help”,
Your life falls out of your grasp,
And you are left asking yourself what the hell have I done,
You are left with only two choices.
Teach yourself the art of fading.
Slowly, but surely.
Before you fade,
Make sure they at least notice you fading away.
Leave a sign,
Leave it in the bathroom,
And keep the door open.
Teach yourself the art of holding on.
Carve your name on every person’s back so that they won’t ever forget of its importance, or even of its existence.
Then sort out everything in your closet, keep the clothes that don’t fit you anymore as a reminder that you can keep things that you don’t want anymore, but hold fragments of your past.
Listen to your heartbeat.
Play it like the only music that doesn’t seem absurd,
Play it- a violin that always hits the right notes,
Always wounds the strings just a little,
But still manages, to make something beautiful.
Keep on keep never stop breathin
free no place to flop
Keep breathin walk walk step
keep breathin don't forget
Felt the heartache keep on breathin
hurts so much life whats caused it
Breathin breathin never stop
your not here if you don't fit
Oh baby ah oh baby oh baby
do wah do wah do wah do wah do wah
Under water for five days breathin
a wonder i'm amazed just breathin
Oh Oh baby breathin still breathin
till the end of days
do wah do wah do wah
I am writing to you this last postcard
And a part of me I am leaving inside,
See you just wanted me to depart
I 'm finally fading with the secret night.
The snowstorm is furious my dear
But I assure it heads to your way till sunrise,
I will exist but I won't be near,
Like starlight of the distant sky.
The paperweight could barely stop the pages,
To break the walls of fault
They seek for sea to drown of rage,
And let the chapter to halt.
For once I thought you 'll cling to my back
To say no to goodbye,
The only trait that you ever lacked
Is that you know but you lie.
As I stroll down the untrodden street
Reaching towards its end
The only one I didnot meet
Was my soul left to mend.
In the dingy room with all other letters
The postcard from me you will find,
And you wouldn't make things any better
Until you know it was in it ,I left myself behind.
Sure this will be the last postcard
For all my power to write is gone,
I 've justified always and it has been hard
But my case will remain as late as dawn.
And If you look for me at some place
The distance will I fear,
I wish a new love you will embrace
If it is with you , I find me near.
Saving Me From Myself
I pray for this, I pray for that
And wonder why I never get
Or haven’t got
The goals I set.
Suddenly in one great burst
Gone is the thirst
And I feel cheap,
See the task before my eyes -
It’s just to bask, not analyze.
I’m getting everything I need,
The rest irrelevant indeed,
And full of greed and ignorance,
Requests of inborn arrogance,
Destructive if un-timed.
Instead I should be thanking It
For waiting until I’ve been primed
For It, and saving me
Unscheduled my self.
Saving Me From Myself 5.14.2000 Pure Nakedness; To The Child Mystic; Arlene Corwin