तिम्रो बिचार पढेको भए
म ज्ञानी हुन्थिए होला
बुझेको भए
झन् ज्ञानी हुन्थिए होला

मेरो चकचक
तिमीले बुझेनौ
तिम्रो ज्ञान मैले बुझिन
धन्यवाद ।

I gathered your words ‘cause you claimed to be unable to.

“Why are you here wasting your time talking to me?
I think you want to hear this **** as much as I want to tell it.

Picking me isn’t being picky.
I’m aware that I don’t have
high qualities.
I’m not down,
I’m just a little bit of a mess.
I’m not sad, just bothered.

I tried not to show it but you had to be a ***** and chose to see through.
It’s like a sick masochistic
habit of mine.
When it hurts, I make it hurt more.
I like to believe it’s to make myself remember not to make the same mistake.

I can’t imagine someone who would completely love themselves.
If you bully yourself enough, it becomes hard to handle some things.
I always kind of choked.

I’m hoping for some miracle here.
I want to matter.
I want to know what it’s like when someone wants me.
Not just someone, not just someone like me but exactly me and only me.
Anything, I don’t care what -
which would make someone desire only me.

The fact that you tried to
compliment me is the biggest
compliment of them all.
I just really don’t know why.

Anyways, this kind of stuff should be for my poetry if I could write one.”

Well... sometimes I wish I could be alone, and sometimes I really feel alone. And it's a nice feeling for the most part. But having people who you can trust and be open with and love is always a nice thought. Despite the fact that most of the time they leave you stranded and isolated... but that's the beauty of numbness

a lot of ****
has me ****** up
rn but

steadily I'm
getting through
this