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There were times In my life I really believed that I'd never grow old, live
fast die young that's what
I thought It was supposed to be
but that was the rock and roll world and perhaps not really me as each year passed me by I thought if I'm not careful before I know
I'll be too old and no longer capable to make a decision to end my own life probably Sound Incredibly selfish but In
truth,
I had a fear becoming ill, I suffered Closter phobia I feared If become paralysed not being able to breath ending up In Iron lung
machine
no longer being able to make my own decisions but that's all water under the bridge now because I'm 66 years old made to the retirement
looking back a lot of what I thought then so Important  seems now of very little concern just goes to show how much we change with
age
There was a time when I thought I'd never grow
old but as you get older your attitude to life changes
Johnny walker Feb 12
Our wedding picture on the wall but It seems like yesterday when we stood and said our wedding vowels

Remember so well the words of the registrar
who said look after her she a good one

but I already knew that oh so lucky beautiful sunny day we held the reception In our back garden so clearly remember everybody was so happy and my wife so proud I was

So pretty she was on her wedding day now she was my wife kept checking my finger making shaw that my wedding ring was still there

Frightened to death of losing It, but twenty years ago when I married her so happy but no Idea I would lose her so soon In
life

And life can be cruel but often ask myself the question If I could have seen around the
corner

could have made so much more of the time
I had with her, Interesting through to which there Is no answer or at least  I don't think
so
Interesting theory If I'd seen what was coming could have made so much more of my time with her
Daniel H Shulman Dec 2018
A match, unlit, but potent, awaiting
A spark.
Impulse, unfit, but potent, awaiting
The dark.
Controlled, subdued by intimidation.
Behold! It escapes in conflagration!

Desire, unmet, but potent, and wanting
To play.
The id, unchecked, but potent, and wanting
To prey.
Dead, beaten into its subjugation.
Instead! Unchained, furious damnation!

Defense, untried, but potent, seeking
To win.
Violence, untold, but potent, seeking
To sin.
Enslaved, subject to emasculation.
Saved! Freedom, total depravation!
Blogging at www.insightshurt.com
Instagram @insightshurt
Buy "Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life" at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
girl gonzo Nov 2018
girlworm, you grab a wrist like you've known modesty in the shyness of a bare feeling gripped tight on the one offering it
tightrope fingers falling into the spaces of unspoken territory, slipping into familiar qualms like the worn lipsticks that fits the grooves of my lips like an object of my affection
knowing the contour of what i'm never aware of
anxieties creep like an overgrown lawn
these fears personifying into antsy women invading my kitchen telling me that there's not enough ventilation and the stove is on leaking gas into the baby lungs of a young smoker
and when i begin to argue they give both a look of sympathy and disgust as they say "oh child you drown so easily"
so i sit chewing my nails as i count the birds outside flying back and forth from their post as if they can't remember where they're going towards or if there's something that could possibly pull them elsewhere
my mind swirls in the smoothie of a plastic cup that sticks to the coffee table, the rings of different bottles painting circles for me to memorize again
my paradise sits with the roughness of his knuckles and the ambiguity of eyes that could know everything and i would set fire to the stars inside because of the jealousy that grows from pretty things being smoldered under skin
when i begin to lose my person, pale and shivering i go towards it
empty stomached and ready to be buried in the clothes of her
that i can imagine becoming the consistency of yogurt in my lap
kissing back my tremors as i lift up her hair from curious shoulders
dry-heaving the importance of the cheeks that feel warmer as they settle on hands that are brought together as if in deep prayer and i know i will collect myself again one day
girlworm, you're a swarm in my chest and i am me
LJDC Oct 2018
Id
I am hungry of a touch,
As if my eyes wants you back,
As if your arms invites me,
As if my lips wants yours.

Instinctly I want you,
But I also need reason.
However, a woman has needs too,
And she craves for you.

She longs for your broad shoulders,
For your lengthy arms and legs,
For your caressing fingers,
For your untamed desire.

Take me back to the night,
You stole a kiss,
I kissed you back,
And I was yours.
My id wants you now.
Daniel H Shulman Oct 2018
It’s nearly as old as I am,
Born with my personality.
A reservoir behind a dam,
Watering and powering me.

Feelings belied my appearance,
But I always felt just like me.
Still it confounded my parents.
Who didn’t know what to do with me.

They offered love and affection,
While deep down afraid of my brain.
And that implicit rejection,
Birthed ego drive to hide my pain.

Shunned compliments as a defense,
I strove for more personal pride.
But I feared my intelligence
Prevented being satisfied.

That deep seated scared little kid
Just wanted to be loved for me.
That need to be loved feeds my id
And needs for false intimacy.

“We don’t know what to do with Dan.”
That little boy still hears those words.
He’s frightened inside this grown man,
Whose ego seeks love undeterred.
Blogging at www.insightshurt.com
Buy “Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life” at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
Jack L Martin Sep 2018
Imitation is NOT
the best form of flattery
when the imitator
gets credit for the idea.
Brad post Sep 2018
Where the **** are we going?
Take off the blindfold so that I can see,
ya I know that you said that already,
but we got places to be.

Finally, Jesus now tell me,
what the **** are we doing out here?
And why the **** are you smiling?
The ******* mean that should be clear?

Oh I see, another scare tactic,
let me guess you’re taking control?
You know that this never works,
wait, why the **** did you dig a hole?

What do you mean you’re scared of me?
I’ve always just been here to help.
Oh here we go again about therapy.
******* mean it’s about mental health?

I’m only what you made me, but I like it here,
so I think that I’ll ******* stay.
We both know you don’t have what it takes,
so put the gun down and just walk away.

You keep acting like you don’t know me,
like I’m just a part of the id.
That’s laughable, Brad, you’re an idiot,
I’ve known you since you were a kid.

You act like the drinking was my fault,
but who the **** pulled you out of the gloom?
And what about all those nights you cried,
after grandma died, all alone in your room?

Look, just put the gun down,
and let’s go have a drink.
Nah, you’ll never be done,
thats just what you think.

Fine, go ahead, pull the trigger,
you know I’ll be back in a week.
Bury your issues like always,
but you better bary me ******* deep.

Getting rid of me will solve nothing,
I’ll be with you until you die,
so no goodbyes, I’ll see you later,
but go ahead, give it a try.

*boom
Cana Jul 2018
I sat beneath the tree of me
its sheltering boughs spread wide.
Catching the afternoon sunlight on
hoary green leaves.

I sat beneath the tree of me
it's twisted, gnarled trunk stood strong,
Scarred by initials crossed out.
It's gooey sap ebbing and flowing to
the erratic beat of my own heart

I sat beneath the tree of me
thirty two rings, some thick, more lean.
A centre core, a maypole of happiness and
not

I sat beneath the tree of me
cradled by roots dug deep.
wispy wind wiggling my hair
comfort in all of me

I sit beneath my ageing tree
on a blanket far too large.
"You're welcome" I'd say to passersby
to sit with me a while.
My meditation place, on a green hillock surrounded by more little green hillocks.
Paul Butters May 2018
Deep within the spacial abyss that is my brain
There lies a little blue planet called “Paul”.
Hidden away from most of reality
This world is full of wondrous dreams.

Its drifting continents are full of sporting arenas,
Traditional pubs and inns
And swarms of gorgeous women.
Lofty mountains overlook sandy beaches
Fringed by sun kissed palms.
Endless vistas of hill and dale
Teeming with Life.

There is a Dark Side too:
I have my “Mordor” for sure
And my own Sauron.
Who doesn’t?
Lands full of man eating wasps
Fearful ghouls and witches
And torture chambers
Full of dental equipment.
Giant eyes
And Mirrors
Which take on a life
Of their own.

But let’s focus on the Brightness here:
The music and poetry
And even dance
And romance!
A place where we can “Get Around”
To Beach Boys harmonies,
Rock to Chuck Berry
And enjoy whatever delights Carlsberg can conjure up,
If not a pint of “*****’s Beer”
From Cleethorpes.

Paul Butters

© PB 10\5\2018.
Welcome to Planet Paul.
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