Stepping to the spotlight,
you know that this is
the moment of truth
when all eyes on you
you have to show them
all the hours you’ve been
practicing,
rehearsing,
and perfecting
every inch of the moves

Close your eyes
and breathe in deeply
as the music starts to beat
and the crowd starts to cheer
no more fear,
no more shame,
no more turning back,
and let yourself
express the inner you
right here, on stage

Feel the energy
as you never stop moving
to feed the hungry eyes
this is what makes you
feel crazy,
feel proud,
feel alive,
and let them fuel you
to be the best of you
and conquer your stage

Gather around
and bow down
as the crowd gives
the final cheer,
the standing ovation,
the satisfied looks,
and celebrate
the moment of triumph
after the performance
of once in a lifetime


Jakarta, February 16th 2015
Written on Jakarta, July 17th 2018
Inspired by The Greatest Showman and a performance I once did in the last year of high school.
that crazy man Rodrigo Duterte
best watch out or he'll end up muerte
if he keeps on being a windbag
he might find himself sporting a toe tag
I had fun creating a fairy garden
but now it drives me crazy
I have to pull every single weed
my fairies all are lazy
_

our final set was 3:00 am
the gear's taken down and stowed
now here we sit
with smuggled single malt
and the crusty sunrise special

me and my blessed band
bliss'd out from giggin'
bleary-eyed and blasted
mixin' with fellow players
who've now laid down
their last licks for this night

among willing groupies
the loud hangers on
and my sad friend joey
just back from viet nam

we're sittin' with
the steel-heart working girls
and sweet soul-bruised painted strippers
they love us 'cause we're brothers
in this family of the night

all in the flesh parade
of burnt drink slingers
and tired cocktail mules

hipsters grifters drifters
and slick gamblers
from behind the sealed doors
of those private upstairs rooms

swell perfumed boys
and sisters of the leather
queens and trannies
pimps pushers and the cops

huddled stark as morgue mates
hidin' from those cruel first rays
like a pack of squandered vampires

ready to scurry off
to well-curtained rooms
or other dark holes of despair

it's time to make that final score
whatever gets you through
'till sundown
strikes up the band again

I'll tell ya
ain't this show biz grand
it's cirque du morning madness
all sneakin' up on breakfast

_


rob kistner © 2011
In the mid 60's, my band played the all-night R&B clubs in Newport Ky, which was the 'wild' night-world just across the Ohio River from Cincinnati. We would finish at about 5:00 AM and then converge for breakfast, at this diner frequented by all of us crazy "night crawlers".
It was a tie-dyed, make-up-caked, neon circus.
Here's a liitle more back story to put a finer historic point on the matter.
This was the "Cin-city" scene, and NoKY  was the center of vice for the 'hypocritical', repressed, "Over-The-Rhine" city of Cincinnati.  Oh man, it was wild in my era of the late 50's and the 60's in Newport KY.  When I had my R&B group, Brothers Royal, we used to play often 'till-5-AM, at the Flamingo Club, Galaxy Club, and Ben Craft's Guys & Dolls.
Newport, with its strip clubs, gambling, drugs, prostitution, murder -- was every bit as 'extreme' as Vegas was in the 40's, 50's & 60's.  
Newport also had Glen Schmidt's, The Yorkshire Club, the Hy-Dee-Ho Club, the Alibi Club, the Latin Quarter, Primrose Country Club, Pink Pussycat, and the Sportsman's Club -- to name a few.
The 5:00 AM breakfast scene I describe in "Sneakin' Up On Breakfast" took place every morning at the all-night Gladiator  Restaurant at Third and York in Newport, Kentucky.  When all the clubs would shut down many of the 'night characters' congregated at The Gladiator. In the early 60's I was just a young catholic high school boy, playing music until the sun came up, and learning a hell-of-a-lot about life across the river from my nice, proper Cincy home.
As I migrated into playing rock in the late 60's, 70's, and early 80"s; the Newport scene was no longer all night, but the "head" club scene became prevalent in both NoKY and Cincinnati - though Cincy took the lead with clubs like Black Dome, Reflections, Ludlow Garage, Matrix, Bogarts, etc.
I loved playing music back then, based out of the Ohio River Valley.
WILD TIMES...!!!

This is an homage to those times.
isn't it crazy,
How we thing of being saved,
as a life being rescued.
but death can save too.
Death can save someone,
from much greater things.
Things that mentally kill.
Freddie Ruiz Jun 23
It’s so annoying that you constantly call me every 5 minutes, just to ask me what I’m doing.
It’s so annoying how you think I’m up to something when I don’t answer when you call me.
Now, what the hell happened to you? You were so cool when I first met you.
Now I can barely see what’s ahead of me, ‘cause 24/7 all I have in front of me is you.

It’s so annoying that when I’m trying to sleep you don’t stop calling me and texting me.
It’s so annoying that when I call you the next morning, I have to listen to you whining.
I’m just so sick of seeing your face, you don’t even give me room to breathe.
You’re talking to me at a pace I can’t keep up with and I feel it’s slowing down my thinking ability.

It’s so annoying when you try to control me.
It’s so annoying when you argue over nothing.
It’s so annoying when you stare at me like you own me.
Don’t you get the hint?
It’s so annoying how you whine like a little baby.
It’s so annoying when I try to understand your thinking.
Everything you do to me is so annoying.
Don’t you get the hint?

I can’t escape from you, even when I’m by myself.
In the middle of a dream I see your annoying face.
When I think you’ve vanished, you pop out of nowhere.
This is it, screw this, you’re a nightmare.

So, what if I made the first move?
I only did it, ‘cause I thought you were cool,
but then I got to know the real you.
I’m not kidding, woman, there’s something wrong with you.
So, what if we’ve been dating for a month?
What, now you think you own my world?
After you annoying the hell out of me in such a short period,
I’d be crazy if I stay with you one more minute.
Written on September 20, 2007
Composition number: 282
Nancy 4d


Tangled in the yarns of endless strife and lost in the labyrinth of incomprehensible and unsolved
emotions. My emotions are a puzzle and anyone who dares to solve them end up insane. They call
me crazy, they call me queer. I wish they’d just call me misunderstood because truly that is what I
am. I wish they would understand that I don’t understand myself and thus I cannot be understood.
They should have me how they find me for I am sweet and my after taste is long lasting. I know
myself yet I don’t understand myself. Nevertheless I hold light of what is important for I am a
philosopher at heart. I can understand you more than you can understand yourself. I can love you
more than you can love yourself because I care for everyone. Will you forego my care for
understanding of myself? Will you deny yourself my humour and life for the sake of my craziness?
Don’t try to do what others have failed at. Just have me for who I am and what I do. Most of what I
do is largely for the benefit of others. Let me be and you’d find that it isn’t so complicated after all.
beautiful morning sounds
like a dumpster crashing
into the garbage truck
and the sun scornfully
cut into my back like
straight razors and
switchblades but the
night before was greeted
with great delight,
pounding away at the
pussy and Seagrams and
now I’m hungover and alone
in bed with my cigarette
hole burnt bedsheets,
dreaming of tits like
neon translucent jellyfish
that took up more room
in what little space I had
in my sublet home.
I looked into her small eyes
but saw enormous things
from within as the real
value of her guise came
with madness from above
as she painted a war
in my mind
and her lips blood red.

but my teeth ached from
the drill of recapitulation
to my vibrating head
as the malapert tongues
bluntly warned me
of her subterfuge,
with subtle phrases like;

“she’ll suck you dry of
money
balls
and dignity”
or
“enter at your own risk,
it may be  
the last risk
you’ll take”
or
“you should be medallioned
with gallantry for hanging
onto that one for as long as
you did.”

there’s no knowledge
left in my eye
on how I see the world
passing me by

except that the world
existed before we found
each other and it still
exists after we’re apart

love’s secret is found in the
eye of the needle and
threaded throughout
the stars in the night sky

and now that she’s gone
with everything I own
that fits into a small
brown paper bag,

she’s plays with the chess pieces
of greed and lust
without the purity of consciousness
or ever knowing what love tastes like
and how drunkenness of love feels

but not every ecstasy is the same

so, don’t wait til your dead
to recognize that your desires and
willfulness were only a perception
in your imagination

there’s a skull chalice
that holds all four oceans
within the palm of your hand,
grab it like the lion’s tail or the
cobra’s neck and drink from
the wildernesses reflection

and give it purpose,
experience the breathing,
life is the shortest time you have on Earth
and baggage is like
women’s makeup...

it too, will soon wash away

but no matter what,
nothing matters most than
how we spend
our last days
on the cross.
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