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Before
Anything

I was a
Bobcat

Not a
Cavalier
#uvalaw

Not a
Cougar
#byu

Not a
Wasp
#WasatchWasps

Nor a
Walrus
#stormsoccer

Not a
Wolf
#wasatchjrhigh

Not a
Bengal
#brightonbengalslittleleague

Not a
Royal
#lordeofbaseball

No
1st
Of
All
I was
A Bobcat

A
BOB
CAT

A
B
O
B

BOB

A Bob

I was
All
Of us

Are
One
2

#oneearth
Together
Forever

Families
Only if
#mormon

We keep this
Planet alive
#goodshephard

#equalitycantwait
And neither can any of
Us I may be disabled and

#dissociative
I was abused as a child
Maybe that's why it's so

Forking easy to know that
Things are not right right now
#onerepublic

We can still fix this though...
#EvangelineRuth
....
Also
Ryan
Tedder
Looks
Goooooood
#­thefuturelooksgood
Sting
...
Peter
Gabriel
...
#songland
Alaina Moore Jul 11
A stark realization.
I'm, for lack of a better word, obsessed with South Park.
Not like collectables, clothing, or other cluttered stuff.
But like ingrained into my personality, seriously, like a face hugger planting seeds in my core. Hatching into satirical, political, ridiculous obsession
Half my inside jokes.
The majority of my random noises.
Sewn within my vocabulary.
Constantly murmuring on the TV like old friends at dinner.
In my achievement list on Steam.
On my blu-ray shelf.
Gently nudging me with phone notifications to collect my free pack.
Definitely used in comparisons at work.

Equally tearing down the walls of anyone and everyone.
I eat it up.
my way to say,
present, in Wonderland.

present in your life when least expected,
no qualifying reassurance reason,
and best!
dessert-deserved more than the rest of the days

prefer to have a postman ring twice,
imagining the look on your confused face,
the genuine life velocity wholeheartedly surprised,
the tickling happiest angst of wondering why...

the present of presence is selfish, me-gleeful,
good for the soul, and the surprise message,
for my presence is all the greater by my absence,
well, it tickles that warm spot you almost forgot about
that no rowed columnar calendar manager can pretend provide

that’s what is all about...
(and stop grinning already)
the unexpected, the ******* jack wondering,
the whys grows lesser,  
the message très simple:
the no reason season of surprise,
starts with a daily sunrise..  

C'est la vie au pays des merveilles


postscript
————-
(Holiday and Birthday wishes/presents are now de rigeur, obligatory,
forgetting unacceptable, even as a date’s meaning grow less significant,
now that we’re on Facebook to be advised by AI that controls it & destroys simultaneously,
the reduction of the remembering quality of life)
Rowan Jun 14
I have an extensive knowledge of things
many people might call useless.

I can explain to you the evolution of the Doctor,
the Dalek’s rise and downfall, the breath of a Rose.
Merlin and Arthur live in tandem, two sides of the same coin,
and it’s hard not to see, they mean more than simple friends in their reality.
Castiel, Gabriel, Lucifer, Hael, Michael, Eziekel, Raphael, among many are
the warriors of God, a man who writes comics about the Winchester brothers.
“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” is my favorite quote from Russell Howard’s Recalibrate,
and Danial Sloss’s bit about jigsaws hits a note, a truth Ed Sheeran does too, in the last line,
“And before I get to love someone else, I’ve got to love myself.”
Of course, they mean romantic love, it can take someone loving you platonically to learn to love yourself.

I crawl around the corners, searching for this information, the tidbits I can throw at people,
Look and see me, I’ve got things you ain’t never seen before, as referenced to Secretariat,
said by Eddie Sweat. Tiny things, picked up from Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, ‘tis I, the frenchiest fry’.
I have a store racked with snapshots of a million different stories packed tight in my head and I’m desperately trying to shove these facts to fill this void I cannot fill.

I can tell you blue waffles are Percy’s favorite food, that Nico deserved better and look at me like come and watch the kid with a slowly declining mental health as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself. Bo Burnham. BBS came from a video featuring a yellow school bus and a fuckton of shouting. Terroriser and Danisnotonfire are comfortable in their gender, and so is my friend Evan. **** the terms and conditions of masculinity, take the signatures and white out the scrawled names, break away from the lines we try to box you in.

Tumblr doesn’t always get it right, often times they get it wrong, but somethings I’ve found on there have helped me calm down a friend from an anxiety attack, have shown me truths I don’t want to see. It also taught me that carrier pigeons could fly eighteen hundred kilometers and were used as early as three thousand years ago. Have you ever seen what fan art can do? The stunning creations made by people who don’t expect any money or expectations? What of the fanfictions? We have to pay for food, water, electricity, but yet we can delve into books, a lifeline for many, for free? Kudos to them.

This is the world I have fought to live in since I can remember. This is the hunger I am trying to sate inside of me, but it only grows and I can’t keep up with it. When I can’t be me… facts, connections, the only places I can feel through are the books, movies, shows, YouTube videos. I make reference after reference, hoping to connect with someone else, to find a place I belong and…

And I can’t stop. I can’t stop. I can’t—
Johnny walker May 26
Sad In this life that we start things but we don't
at the time know at
that we
won't
be given the required
time to see them
through
For fate Is only thing that knows of what we will become and how long we'll have
allocated to us In this
life that we
live
But In truth I have to ask myself could I've made things better
and would
we
have lived our lives to the
full If I had known of the short time you had left In truth
have I say I think it would harder If had known of the
short time Helen had
left
I had known of the short time that Helen had left to live and truth I have admit would been harder to know of the short she
The
moon shows
the way without asking
for anything in return.
It is a great
example
for
us
to
learn.
With some help from the stars...
Alyssa Gaul Feb 20
I am a collection
of half-watched movies

End yet to-be-determined
Stuck in the middle bits

An unfinished  biography
of a life put on-pause

The characters have no future
Just like I have no future

My library remains full
An over-whelming archive

When will the master
finish the piece?

The follow through
is the most important part

The neurotic longs to discover
the treasure at the end of it all

Though sometimes the final destination
is only death or tragedy

Only pain and no closure
And nothing meaning anything

And maybe the movies are
half-finished because

I already know
I'll be disappointed in the ending.
Andrew Nov 2018
Reality show
Notoriety hoes
Follow what glows
Behind a fame nose
In a shame pose
As the game goes
They keep staying low
While nasty stains grow
From thinking vapidly
And acting rapidly
Not speaking factually
We don’t see them actually

Seeming tame
And plain
Seeking fame
Their aim
All the same
They play a game
Of hoops of flame

Becoming circus acts
By removing tact
On a negative track
Of shooting flak
And shooting back
Negativity attracts
Harmful impacts
At an old impasse
Of cold syntax
Warranting a gin tax
Drinking from a tin flask
So the emptiness is masked

The reverb
Resurge
Rewords
The birds
Caught in the Internet
Like a flying intercept
Stealing their intellect
With a mundane misdirect
Of inane interests

A new method for dollar dreamers
Now the cynical screamers
Are digital streamers
Pivotal pleasers
Concerned with clicks
By scratch and kick
They hatch a trick
To match a *****
Dispatched to fix
Their lack of hits

The loud and obnoxious
Are proud of the noxious
And opening boxes
They stream video games
Other people made
They just played
For a good grade
In the leisure lane
No pleasure or pain
To treasure my brain

Their reality shows
In modality woes
Personality froze
Under their nose
In a monitor glow
Development slows
As far as irrelevant goes
They’re part of the flow
That doesn’t grow

Taking the shameful road to attention
For a dishonorable mention
Avoiding knowledge retention
For a superficial invention
Of social extension
They have a fatal mentality
That perception is reality
But the exception is vitality
That isn’t just an eventuality
For one must be capable and willing
To try to produce something fulfilling
Instead of just simple time killing
While hourglass sand keeps spilling
Shofi Ahmed Sep 2018
Be quick, before a rain
                                       d
                                       r
                                       o
                                       p
spills off the rainbow bowl.

And the smiling rose
shows the world
the sun in its dew.
girl gonzo Aug 2018
you used to bring me a blueberry muffin in a white paper bag every day from a bakery near your work
when i would bite into it
the blueberries would burst like little stars dying
i am ordinary, barefoot and head sunken in a fluid mountain of mousy hair
there was a day when the heaven's gate closed but i can't recall
a disheveled plastic container that held all of my belongings on the side of the curb
i held my bladder until the infection stood in front of me that sunny morning and told me to spit in the neighborhood's eye
when you kissed me i couldn't see anything but a mustache that felt like a sharp toothed comb in the bathroom i would sometimes bite when my compulsions got out of hand
my hand in the pocket of a jean jacket that smelled of old newspapers
that's how it is, you spend hours watching Bonanza and i never memorized their names but i knew your favorite was the one in all black
the back of my head being crushed because the guns would shoot but there was never any blood
and when the train station took me along with the wind
i knew that i loved you but it was just the kinda love that gets insects bites so you put lemon balm and never call them only think of them softly so as not to disturb your small body anymore
this is turpentine in a blender
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