X/x
What we had I wouldn't even describe it as a relationship
More of me being the cushion to your pillow
Using my heart as a safe haven from your shame

My heart has been crushed and ripped
Fool me once shame on me
Fool me twice well that's on me

Broken and torn in the same way, two seems to be my unlucky number today

I'll be honest the pills went down
And never up
Still standing with the pain of a thousand hearts
Pills & automobiles
The crunching sound of glass under the sole of my shoe.
The gentle bend as the metal frames twisted unrecognisably.
Fragments littering the cement around me.
For what purpose did I need them.

Walking away.
Dread and edrenaline mix together.
Jumping at my own shadow.
Yet no longer having to look at the world.

No longer having to see it.
But still stuck inside it.
Standing behind the retina.
Behind the same distorted lenses.

Shame.
Longing.
Blind.
Lost.
I actually purposefully stepped on my glasses once. It was one of the worst days of my life, that I almost never talk about. I was depressed anxious and desperate to escape my life so without any thought or planning I ran out my house. Somewhere along the way my brain through it would be a brilliant idea of crush my glasses to pieces. Lets just say that by the end of that night i ended up in the hospital and i learnt what shame truly is.
*note - Myopia is the technical name for being short sighted*
These are our sisters, mothers, wives,
And all of Irelands daughters lives
Being put at risk so needlessly,
Devalued oh so callously!

The truth is, there’s no denying,
Women have died with more dying
Who could have been saved possibly
If there had been more honesty?

When the problem first came to light
That some test results were not right
The first thing that should have been done
Was to inform everyone.

Alas, all those in power chose
The facts, the truth not to disclose
To women who in tests had faith  
‘Til for many it was too late

How can it have become the norm
To coldly choose not to inform
Women when smears are positive,
To give them the best chance to live?

The facts cannot be argued yet,
Though facing needless early death,
They force them down the legal route
Rather than own up to the truth.

How can there be any defence
When the truth is the difference
For many between life and death?
What justice can they hope to get?

Why add to their pain, suffering,
Why not now just do the right thing
By these women failed so badly?
Though for some ‘tis too late sadly.

The choice to cover up and lie
Knowing many women could die
While in no way done in our name
Is to Irelands eternal shame.

The politicians promise change,
The Health System to rearrange
Forgetting they have been remiss
As they presided over this.

What use to grieving families
Platitudes and apologies?
No change can justify the cost
Of mothers, sisters, daughters lost.
This poems captures my thoughts on the cervical screening scandal which has resulted in many women dying or developing terminal cancer due to receiving incorrect results, which when discovered,  women were not informed of for years; often when it was too late.
Shame on you America ...

shame on you people there ...
shame on this nation ...
who agree with an occupation ...
to take off a nation's rights ...
and to give it to another ...
from Palestine's nation ...
whom own the land ...
to that Israeli  occupier ...
who killed the child ...
and the women ...
and the old men ...
even they killed ...
all Prophets ...
yes ...
even read the history ...
ask the old men ...
old ones whom have ...
just a pure heart and soul ...

shame on you people there ...
on you America nation ...
to got silent for Trump ...
with your silent ...
you made a great a crime ...
Human crime for all the world ...
how could you agree ...
Trump is just a person ...
just a number ...
he will go with no return back ...
as before him ...
they gone ...
and they never come back again ...
but you as a great nation ...
will be forever ...
how could you agree with Trump ...

shame on you America...
shame on you people there ...
read the history ...
Palestine ...
the kuds ...
it's the home ...
and the holy land ...
for Palestinian people only ...

yes people there ...
shame on you America ...
shame on you ...

hazem al ...
I was looking for me


                         so I called out my name




There I stood.                  waiting





                            ­           But no one came.
This poem is part of a series of poems titled: Forgetfully Missing.
This is 4:4- Looking for me

Poetic Surgery, Copyright © 2018,  All rights reserved.
Let's have a moment of silence, for those who understand.
We who lack the knowledge; children beaten by the damned. 
Infected by the hurt inflicted, by just a single hand.
This silent moment is for those who hid their father's brand.

For those who lie there centered, in the evil play of man...
If you find this poem relatable and it clings onto your mind.
Look back on the ones who've hurt you and do right where they did wrong.
Try to find it in your heart to forgive them; throw it all behind.
If you can cast away your resentment, you are clean, fresh and strong.
I have a world
I keep to myself
Galaxies unfurled
Fit on a single shelf

A shelf in my mind
That way it stays hidden
Upon entering you shall find
My little world overridden

Overridden with hurt,
within and without
I am an expert
On fear and shame and doubt

This is why, you see
My little world, so far away
Is shared with only me
I think we all have little worlds, little parts of ourselves, that we long to keep hidden.
I’ve been in the business of
one night stands for a while now.
It involves me being on my own,
alone in a room,
naked
of all my fears and uncertainties.

I usually feel ashamed in the morning
and can't find the door quickly enough
to leave behind this safe place
and get back to the war zone that
my heart seems to be.
I’m all for freedom of speech for everyone
Without pardoning you for things you’ve done.
Here’s something you don’t get to say to me
You don’t get to tell me I may not disagree!
You who plan constant genocide and invasion
Make pacifists like myself rise to the occasion.
We refuse to authorize you buying a warship.
You act as if that word is very like worship!

Too many scary cowards setting precedences.
In your overstuffed, gadget-filled residences.
You’re issuing orders to send youths to die.
Since you’re not going, why bother to ask why?
Some bribe-taking elite snobs in costly suits
Tell you to send kids overseas in combat boots.
If you rebuke them they bring out the dramatics.
Their reason is their bookkeeper’s mathematics.

In the USA, we waged war after disastrous war
And few of us asked why, and what is it for?
We invaded people’s lands and destroyed it
And there never was a reason to deploy it
An international revenue generating machine
Murder thousands on both sides, nice and clean.
Then demand we buy coffee, seven bucks a cup,
If we think of objecting, you want us to shut up.

After all, it’s just one more war, wrapped up to go.
What’s a two or three million dead people or so?
The point it, there’s a bottom line to adhere to
So what it affects or kills someone near you?
Don’t be unpatriotic and screw with fate.
Genocide is lucrative and an  American trait.
Just look what we did to the natives here.
Read that story. What we’re doing is clear.
We sit there
Watching all these criminal investigations
On CNN.
President Donald Trump
Says that he's the victim
Of a "witch hunt",
But all the lawyers
On both sides are making lots of money.
Meanwhile,
What are WE doing
To "Make America Great"?
Not a goddamn thing!
We're watching
A lot of attorneys
Make a lot of money
On CNN!
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