I can't recall what I did
When you fill my head with lies
Recollection, it won't happen

When these haunted eyes pull back
That flesh canvas turns black
As the starless night

I see your bare face right there
Clear, as in a lucid dream
I lose control to passion
You knew you left our bedroom

With the gas turned on

Your face --
I want to smash it

I won't wander where I go
In darkness, alone
With a gaslight

For Cindy/Sid

The Fallen Angel

Seeing life before me as I fall through the sky,
Makes me shiver on down knowing life to go by.
From high asking what and why of I to become?
Away from all so gracious to be left undone,
I am yet to touch ground and now I know why so.
The impact lets you know your soul no longer yours,
The wingless flight at its end with them above too.
What seen will be a crash from the dear old above,
Of what used to be an Angel of simple love.
Dirt, dust and hell from the deep blue sky trailed on by,
Away from the clouds no longer in sight attached.  
This star used to be heavenly now apart ground,
Pitched black and darkened am I of earth here abound.

About becoming lost from a faith or being denied one; falling as someone who was made to b pure, but damed for all time.

As I youth,
I attended services at
And went to Hebrew School
At Congregation Rodef Shalom.
In young adulthood,
I encountered some serious Mental Health Problems.
At this time,
I studied Buddhism
And attended religious services
At Denver Tri-State Buddhist Temple,
Which is part of the Jodo Shinshu sect
That originated in Japan.
I recall that Sensei Eijun Kujo
Told me that SHAME is considered to be a GOOD thing
In Japanese Culture.
This view lies IN CONTRAST,
To the Teachings of Dr. Brene Brown,
Who sees Shame as a PROBLEM
And views GUILT
As more therapeutic.
I don't really feel "guilty" about anything right now.
I feel ASHAMED that the United States
Has a President like Donald Trump,
For the suffering people of Puerto Rico!
I feel ashamed that the UNITED STATES
Has allowed a man to become President
Who EXHIBITS so many mental health problems
But REFUSES to allow himself to be evaluated
By any sort of Mental Health Professional.
I feel ashamed of how the CULTURE of the United States
Is being degraded and eroded
By President Donald Trump
And his Authoritarian Clique.
As Americans,
Are normally proud
Of our beautiful National Parks
As well as our Diverse Cultural Legacy.
Music, Culture and the Arts
Are things that bring Americans together,
But President Donald Trump cares NOTHING
For Culture.
All he is interested in the "Bottom Line"
Even if the Murder of Innocent People
In places like Yemen is part of the "profit margin".
I must say
That I feel ASHAMED to be an American right now.
My Grandparents came here
To flee War and Persecution in Europe,
And I know of no other country as my Home,
But I'm really feeling DISGUSTED right now
And ashamed!

well-known fears
of love and interaction,
worse through the years
until–soon–all that remains
are shame, blame, and tears.

In a world of silence,
And Shame,
Hope remains an Illusion
And Death will always be King.

Myrrdin 7d

I am avoiding love
Avoiding touch
Sweat dripping
Pearl beads of passion
Your dewy skin
Can beckon me
All that it wants
I will recoil
At the sight
Of your desire
The thought of
Staining white sheets
With our impulses
Has me sick

Deemz Oct 10

Fool me once,
shame on none,
because you've fooled me a lifetime,
and not once shame struck.

Eric Pon Oct 9

If only for a moment I choose to glance,
Im subject to that terrible chance
That only we alone might understand what it is we're so capable of.
When I look at you, I cant help but wonder how you ended up so incredibly lost.
Jaded and sedated, a glare aware but medicated is all thats looking back at me. And so this love? Well it isnt only a place, but essential I realize as the salt soaks my face.

When I look in The Mirror Im overcome with disgrace, for the damage I so willingly embrace, is now all too permenant- like a scar sculpts the face: away from the mirror myself I must chase, round and around in life's fatal race.

Free Vers (refrences Metric's 'Love is a Place'

Helpless, when so many have died.
Can we do nothing but hurt inside?
Those can’t go home, no matter who cried.
Yet we never set those guns aside.
We listened while politicians lied
And even when some of us tried
Too many took up the other side
And insisted they were on the right side
The godly side, the intelligent side.
But they too were wrong or just lied.
And fifty eight, so far, have horribly died.

So, who is in the right here?
We ask year after year.
Why do we sell illogical fear
To allow weapons to be sold here
That are not used to shoot deer
Or game for food, but it is clear
They are for shooting people here
In our own country, not in Tangier
Or Kabul, killing strangers for fear
They’ll take away our freedom here
And very much like some King Lear
Trust all the wrong people. It’s clear.

Every eight years, we go insane
And let America’s worst bane
Take over what still remains
Of a splendid land that retains
The intentions and words of the sane;
The founders of our nation, and again
Give it all away “to elect for change’
Without consideration for the pain
That it took; the blood and the pain
To fight those who hate freedom’s name
And then to elect them back in again.

They are only too glad if we kill
And maim and destroy at will
As long as it's the poor we kill
And not their beloved on their hill.
That is too bitter of a pill
For them to take, so they shill
And subvert and always will.
They’ll approve the crazy skill
It takes to sit up on a hill
And shoot people at will.
They never quite get their fill.

So, when will we people get wisdom
And ban those repeating weapons
Being sold willy nilly in the kingdom
Of hate, greed without sound reason?
When will we see that we are with them?
Just another human like their women
Brothers, fathers and even their children
That can be erased by their bad decisions
To let more nameless, brainless buy weapons
That have no good solid application
Except a bullet to the brain of our nation.

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