As time goes by
I can only think of my mistakes
I wish I could try
To take them all away
I can't take this feeling
It burns from inside
I know in good time this all will fly by
But today hurts still
And I know I'm in Hell
But I'll still find my angel
I won't show fear to love someone again
And this pain,
The woman lives
When the shadow of the moon
Falls ebony on the earth
And the trees of her forest
Are like burnt matchsticks
on scorched field
She lingers then -
like smoke in the dark,
Until we meet
In the appointed place,
Two black holes in the abyss of the cosmos and
A nightmare mouth,
words slithering forth
-the tip of the tongue the teeth and the lips-
dripping from her chin
in jet black ink
"Are you ready?" she screeches
A banshee in the graveyard
I cannot speak, cannot see anything but the ink that rolls like a wave from her lips
Dark and terrible
A blood moon
"I See you" she calls with open arms
A lover's embrace
An eternal escape
But the shadow is receding
Drawing you to the heart of the forest
And she reaches for you once more
Your hand twitches
The path is tangled
Brambles whip and thorns claw
and you both understand
Time is up
"Never again." She croaks splayed against a treetrunk "Never again"
The woman fades with the last of the shadow
She cannot return
And you are alone again
Hands shaking in the sun
Lips covered in ink
It's been a while, but you're recognized
from when we went to school.
You and I have hooked up before,
nothing of sexual relations.
But when you popped up on my screen,
I'll admit there was hesitation.
You push and push then suddenly pull,
don't know if it's a game.
but against my better judgement,
I swiped right anyway.
there you instantly shot a message,
and picked up where we left off.
Before i know it I'm in a car,
the windows are all fogged up.
Hands to my breasts, I'm in your lap,
your lips leeched to my neck.
mind screams "No, what are you doing?"
But my body says "Pleasure me."
If that night wasn't enough,
we met the very next day.
Went back to his and like before
He had his way with me.
Guilty conscience plays repeat,
to this day I probably shouldn't have done it.
He pushed for plans where I didn't have time,
It was either work or moving.
Eventually told me he was done playing around,
but i thought sex was all he wanted.
Told him I was moving 6 hours away
That I couldn't hold that type of connection.
I haven't heard from him
nor have I seen him since
But now that I'm 6 hours away
I've lost all form's of connection
In a new town, filled with new people
It was crazy, but I felt lonely.
When was the last time
I felt a raving hunger for life?
When had I but an eternity in moments,
on the edge of something vastly different?
How was it me and not you
who staked her soul high
on rolling hills of green,
took long draughts to savour, to condense
the weight of the world into one precious drink,
cup the shortest days in her palm and release them,
for her thoughts to balloon into the wild?
The delectable now--
ripe as berries for plucking in winter,
and all things, like music
So I suppose my question to you
is not concerned with
the wad of newly-minted green in your pocket,
nor the fleet of shiny cars, but
your pure self, simply being.
It’s prodding the heart,
a tiny critter fluttering with wings, wondering:
when will you ever get a second chance at this--
all this storm
and inexplicable happiness--
or will you
go hunting for things,
whirling at mere traces
of power in your name--
or will you turn around
only to find a life
or a lie,
staring back wide-eyed
in endless shame?
It's Wednesday again,
counting my suicide scale,
what do I give before I leave?
I am empty and emptying my soul.
no more time left, vanishing throughout my lifetime.
they made me wear a muzzle,
I am now silently scared of your picture in this old dark place.
to burn these germs away, only one spark of fire is needed.
Take me where I belong deep down the grave inside the mosque.
in the dead eyes, I saw the moon.
in the dark dusted corners,
and the fading faraway skylines,
in the books never opened,
and some never finished,
in the winds that annihilates the sense of time,
and the dogs that sometimes barks out for fun,
in the celestial beauties cursed to hide,
and the boredom in counting wings of the useless fans,
I have lied,searched and crawled
for words to define this crisis of emptiness,
I sense words and meanings lurking around
in places and hotels I left in dismay
in the ash-trays and coaster less tables,
some of the burned memories with words of comfort still lie,
though they are cold and full of despair,
I shall cast the spring through them
for your all eves to see
and your heart to drink,tonight.
Your hands used to fit in mine
Your smiles used to make my anxiety goes away
Your laughs used to appear butterflies in my stomach
Your I love yous used to make me feel so lucky or I can say, blessed.
My hand is holding a knife, instead of holding yours
My anxiety will attack when I remember the dimple in your cheek
My butterflies in my stomach are dying cause seeing you laugh poison them
My heart shattered cause your i love yous are the reason i hate myself.
Time stops when your losing sun.
The days always shorter than the night.
You can hear the hands pushing against the present like children on the 25th, inside a little gift hits the box like tick... tock.
That sound stretches slowly to hide the silence.
A reassurance that your reality is what it is.
A minute takes a minute, a week feels infinite, a month feels like twelve, you've lost yourself in a year.
Time stops when your losing sun.
A storm can last four seasons.
Darkness can make you feel like an ant.
An ant in a storm. hmmm.
An environment where a drop of water can drown you, trap you in a gravitational orb with practically no way out.
If air could be happiness your drowning.
Your view is getting darker as it all fades to black.
your last gasp in vain as reality fills your lungs.
Your sun has set.
The light is gone.