RK 1d

All the little things I love
Like meeting friends and giving hugs
To eat a scone I've made at home
To meditate on a yoga rug.

To feed the birds and to care  
That every one gets a share
To inhale deep the breath of life
to exhale in sheer delight.

To go for walks all on my own
To watch my thoughts and not respond.To show the mind who's in command.
Standing firm in who "I am"

I love the city where I live
I wouldn't change a single thing
To see myself in every man
Trust and do the best I can.

To be, and joyous is being - free
not easy in our reality
I love to try and when I fail
I set again the "Self Name" aim.

Like an athlete who perfects a skill
Small loves build incrementally
Through understanding and the will. To go beyond expand what is.

And most of all to wish you well
Allow each one to grow, excel
To catch oneself in the act, and
delete the thoughts that create the lack.
Incrementally.



Affectionately yourself!  

Peace

Hello to all the poets.
I've been on and off site as my husband has been unwell.
I wrote this poem  just after reading Harlons poetry. I hope it's read in the right context.
Peace

I'm in pain
But no one knows
Am I invisible?
No, they just assume that I'm strong.

I'm dying inside
But no one knows
Am I invisible?
No, they just don't care

I'm in pain, dying and seemingly depressed
But still no one knows
Am I invisible?
No, I just don't exist in their eyes.

I'm happy for the first time
But no one sees my smile
Am I invisible?
Yes, because I'm already dead

Mims 4d

I hardly ever get concern returned
But it's never stopped me

Worrier
Aleeza 4d

I don't know what it is
that shackles my ankles and my arms and my heart to the bed
that every time I have to get up I feel like I leave a piece of me behind
that every time I see sunlight I can feel weight on me

and maybe things are okay
no rain taps on my windows
no shouting is heard through the walls
no devastating stories are to be heard

and the clunky shoes are not so bad today
and my jacket is freshly washed and warm
and everything is in its place
and the radio plays all the good songs
nothing is really wrong

and yet it is 8am and all I feel is the cold bite of the airconditioning and fear
fear that I can go wrong and all eyes will be on me
fear that they will be overly confident in who I am that they forget that I am human
fear that I have to keep this smile on for long

and yet it is 1pm and all I want is a hand to hold
so instead I write down my remaining notes
I try to pretend my life is put together
highlighting important words in my too-new planner

and yet it is 3pm and I try to lull myself to sleep
saying goodbye to who I'm talking to because it's only polite
listening to songs I know too well
trying to find a way to drown the scratchy lines in my mind

it is dark when I wake up
and I feel more exhausted than before
and there are messages for me waiting
and yet I don't answer them at all

I pull myself up and I stare at your name
it has been a while since we really talked
I don't want to start anything
since the last time, we only lasted for mere minutes

and I don't know how to handle losing the only one who really knew me
I don't know how many times I have tried and failed with you
but I know how you talk to people
and I know that you don't want to talk to me

dinner is not much better
they question the things I do and the places I go
so how can I explain
that I don't want to stay here
and be given the chance to be alone

they say that I can easily pass the exam
they say that I can do these things for sure
when I know that I will be lost there
and be the very first one to disappoint

and people keep saying hi
how are you?
what's up?
and I am tempted to tell them
but decide not to burden them with my darkness

I appreciate who they are
I appreciate the fact that they care
I love them for trying to connect with me
I love them for thinking about me, even for a moment

but why is it
that every time I tell them I'm doing better
I cry even more?

and it's 8:15pm and nothing is helping
not the jokes or the songs or the video clips
all I can think is how easy it could be to go
all I wonder is about who might notice first

if I fall from the graces of a heaven on earth
my everything crushing who I was
if I let my emptiness be filled with water instead
my words sinking with me

I told myself I wouldn't do that
I told myself I would never let myself get to that
yet here I am
my insides ripped out
the light I once knew gone

how can I tell people
that I hold hands because I am scared
needing to have someone to hold onto
needing to be reassured that they are there

how can I tell people
that I want to be held
held in the silence of all the words I forgot how to say
held despite of how I crumble

because I know that everything comes and goes
and yet this feeling has never left

and I don't know how to answer the question
are you okay?
when I don't know if anyone can hear my whispered
I'm not okay
and I don't know when I'll be.

When I’m silent..
It doesn’t mean I don’t care
I’m silent

I may not say much
But, I have a lot to say
Because I’m afraid to let you hear my thoughts

My thoughts are my deepest secrets to all my desires and pains
And I don’t think you’re ready for all of that

Eve Nov 11

What you give me is what I receive,
The feelings overloading and essentially controlling me are forcing the inner version of myself to ignore thee,
Block off anyone who interferes with my life in the smallest of ways.
Stress is enough,
I can no longer think straight.
Consistently titling to both ends of our path,
I thought the starting would lead us somewhere beyond the fan stays of great,
But I was kicked and left in the dust with the others,
The prophecy unveiled itself,
I was right since the beginning, but my witless gut remained oblivious to my emotionally unstable self and instead stayed behind with the real you.
I grew attached to you, thinking everything for once would finally accumulate into one enjoyable entirety,
But you shattered me both internally and externally,
Now all I can focus on is how to fix these pieces back together.
Before I loose touch upon myself once more,
I ask anyone for forgiveness, begging on my knees for all to please.
I wish to give the little portion of my purity and happiness to you, now, am I considered the wrong and careless one?
Or are you, the heartless form of me?

“I know you, you're nothing but a sad boy.”
M Nov 10
M

Have you ever
Just wanted to
fall to your knees
and shout and scream
as loud as you could
when life seems
like an attack on your soul?


Has it happened after a heartbreak, a mistake, your replace,
To feel like a disgrace
for loving others
trying to give your trust and joy
spreading smiles and toys
and yet you're still
let down
like
its
your
fault...

What did you do
to deserve so
much pain...why
are you being
treated like a bad guy for being
good...
As if something evil is telling you that
being bad is the only way
but all it does
is make decay...
A rot it wants, but it
waits for you...


Can you believe how manipulative evilness can be?
Do you not see what's happening...
the evil wants
you to think that
good is bad
and
bad is good
but will you see that?
Will you stop loving
stop trying
stop caring
stop sharing?
Will you be the person to say
"I'm going to fight fire with fire"
when all it does is make fire
it raises the fire higher and
then you cry...


Please, heed this wisdom, as I have been possessed with it.
Fighting bad with bad only
makes more bad.
Bad with good makes good
and impact
a dent
a bump...
It is a matter of choice
will
and wisdom.

Nightsung Nov 7

When I see you emit your radiance upon
The barren field on which you sown
Your worries, fears and pain
And emotions filled to the brim
In casks full of dread
To remember what you said
"I will give my light to them"
But in all honesty
As much you mean to be
When you cover them in glistering hue
I hope that, against all odds
You will save some sunlight for me too

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