Haleigh 5h
I'll save the poems of deepest despair
for when you are dead or gone.
You are my only friend and someday
I might be your wife if you survive.
I'm committed to you for the long term.
Today I have logged out of all my
Social media accounts I won't return.
I don't want to see my nieces and
nephews grow up on Facebook
knowing I'll never see them in real life.
I don't want to deal with my Aunts
bouts of jealousy because she is being
mentally abused by her husband.
I don't want to feel a hacker looking
over my shoulder when I like a post.
I don't want to be reminded of all the
people who won't talk to me because
I don't have a job and think I'm the blame.
Facebook calls them friends.
Instagram calls them followers.
To me it's all the same they are fake.
I'm most likely fake to them too.
Honestly people it isn't an insult.
The hacker has won because I'm back
inside of my cave once again.
It's amazing how isolating social media is.
God won't answer my prayers for peace
but I don't believe he is mean at all.
Someday there won't be anymore
humans in my life that is a fact.
I doubt that I'll survive but then
again everyone has to die someday.
The feeling of wanting to die is
like crashing through a glass door.
Maybe I am more emotional
because I am going down to a
Lower dose of prednisone but
this doesn't make all that I wrote
any less true.
Sickly
And
Dizzy

Thats
How
Anyone
Tells
Sees

Hear
Only if these
Wielding clocks could stop

I

Lied
I
Killed myself years ago
Evening filled of sorrow

I couldn’t
Take it anymore

Now I can
Only open my eyelids
When my

Grave is found
Or when

The tears wash away yesterday
Of when I

Slit my throat
Like if I was just snipping paper
Effectively cutting my artery
Eventually falling to a
Paralyzing feeling, lead into dark

I

A
M
thats how i like it
If I'd a dime for every rhyme
That popped inside my head
Wishing plague and misery
To kill what is already dead

Then perhaps some day, should I have my way
I'd bring silence to the lambs
Fuck it's bleating, end it's breathing
And let me rest amongst the damned

We cursed few do mock the blessed
We dance on your very grave
If only you saw perspective
You'd know there's none to save!

Time, time and time again
You promised to make change
And now my mind won't SHUT UP
It knows that I'm to blame!

I did this, I did that
I know what wicked ends
Have forged the stage of sorrows
That gave you all there was left

With piggy eyes and snuffling pride
Your wretched filth, and life
Have tempted fate, as of late
Now scream, pig, and die...
Isaac 4d
Life is hard
Killer hard
So hard it can kill you
In fact, it will
But that's what makes
It so sweet
Knowing that we
Are all going to die
We have to
Written 11 August 2018
Billie Aug 7
When I die, hang my rib cage from a tree.
Many birds have lived inside me,
new life forming in the heart of death.
Loss feels like a sentence half written,
without a full stop.
It doesn’t have a nice,
neat end to it,
it happens in the middle
of a sentence,
and sometimes those sentences are never written at all.

I feel like my death will be stubborn.
It’ll be from my own years of mistreatment on this body that has so far served me well,
and if I don’t go at 3am while the world is loading then something is off.
Maybe it’s just me that sees the time that way,
a period where the world stops and blurs with a different,
far off star,
before reverting back to the norm.
But normal does exist at 3am for some.
Other people exist at 3am,
laughing
and walking
and breathing
and crying
and being human,
wandering the empty streets with their arms outstretched,
running through the rain after a lost love like a bad movie,
other people are their own protagonists and are alive even when you don’t notice.

When I die, float me on top of a swimming pool.
I’ve always felt false under the water,
like my body never existed in the first place,
I try to stay deathly still so I won’t cause any ripples
and it never works.
Finally my carcass will be able to complete one of my goals,
achieve something mindless as my brain separates from the rest
and sinks to the bottom,
my fingers grazing the surface tension,
one toe dipping in first to check the temperature
before it all finally collapses
and joins that drowned mind at the bottom,
the place I used to find so soothing.

I believe in a lot of things.
I believe in love,
I believe in you,
I believe in life.
I believe in the fact that the sun will rise in the morning
and I am to continue living and loving,
even when it’s hard.
Even when I am broken down into nothing and resurrected,
even when my hands look more like a piece of throwaway paper than this skin,
this world was built for the living,
and I am allowing myself no escape.

When I die, bury me in your bedroom.
Drape me in sheets that smell a little too familiar,
tuck my hair behind my ear one last time
and know that even gone,
I’m still here,
and I still love you.
Sleep beside me,
the feeling of your breath on my cheek contrasted by the lack of mine,
don’t let me sleep alone.
Don’t let me die for a long time.
Until we’re both old and grey,
still surrounded by our love for each other
and comforted by that sun that still rises,
out my window I can see the birch tree my ribs would dangle from in the snow,
hear the ravens song of creaks as they take up nest,
the gurgling of water,
the scent of you still infused in these sheets,
my love,
don’t let me go.

I promise to love you until my dying day,
which will come many centuries from now,
once all my poems have been burned
and there is no one left to read them,
don’t let me go before then.
And I promise to hold you in my heart until it melts.
Until these bones turn to dust,
I promise to love you.
Because you do the same.
PandaPao Aug 7
#15
I always wonder
Why I got so lucky
So lucky to have you
You brought happiness back to my life
Loving you seems so damn easy
I love you not only for what you are
But for what I am when you took my heart
I will love you until the day I die
If there's life after that
I'll love you then
Love was just a word until you came
And I prayed that one day
We dont have to say I love you
When that day comes
I want us to say
I do
Marie Aug 7
If love can be a habit
I can be the nail
that you bite
with an absent mind
"don't sell yourself short"

"Too late"
Liyah Bella Aug 5
if I die
please bury me to a prince song
place my body in a white laced dress
tell my sisters not to cry
because I made my choices
cait-cait Aug 4
love has buried me ,
and i am like an
                           ache.

but
you were fire
and
i was ice —

and there were mountains
in between us,
                         gods
.

so when you buried me ,
i
let myself die ,

and you did not ache.
did not
             even
                      cry.
.
for renny, my sweet angel. rest well.
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