You are fading
People crowding over you
I refuse to let go of the memory
It's still there only vaguely
A wisp of your voice
It's all barely there
I see a beautiful blonde and green mix
A voice hard to identify
But it's yours for sure
I need more
It is a desire
A mental wanting
It's all I can do
I need more of you
Your body shows the path that leads to insanity
Your smile tells why my heart belongs to you
Every single kiss
Every single touch
On your body
Awakens a volcano in me
Your boobs on my chest
My hands holding your butt cheek and thigh
“Go a little bit faster”
I surrender to your voice
You control me with that voice
I follow your command
I’m a slave to your body
It speaks a language I can understand
I was asked about you
casually in a conversation,
and your name escaped my mouth,
for the first time in months.
My breath hitches,
and I feel a cold draft past my cheek.
I tell them, "he's doing great,
And I brush you off as if you were
just a piece of hair.
But secretly, I wish I had more to say,
because as much as I try to
push the thought of you away,
I'd love to talk about you
and say your name
Your voice; a melodious tune
that replays itself in my head,
and as I watch you speak
the words dance off your lips
and linger onto mine...
Divine. That's what you are.
A being so rare, so bright, that
I am fortunate enough
to have crossed paths with you.
And though our paths may not
be intertwined, the thought of you
is burned into my mind.
You have left your mark
and I am scarred.
So beautifully scarred.
I always hear you call her name.
That young, aesthetically-made woman you've always admired.
I hear you call her everytime.
You call her name in a whisper.
It's like you are slightly asking the wind to deliver her your whimpers, just in case it would pass by to her house,
or in case it would whip past her beautiful face.
Everyday, I hear her name.
Every night, you'd go insane.
Not a day would go by in this time
will I ever forget how your voice shrieks
when you blurt out her name.
I love how deeply you feel about her.
I love how your eyes sparkle when you think of coming out to meet her.
I love how just by hearing her name makes your knees weak.
I'm sorry but whenever I hear you call out her name,
I only remember my pace right even before she came to race.
I never went away when you decided to bring her close,
just because I know in myself
I would have to get used to it day by day
hearing you actually call her name.
And hearing you call her name,
this may be sane,
but with me,
will you ever be the same?
I am an object so use me to your ill advised.
I am nothing more than a slender figure beneath the sheets.
Once occupied beside me but now,
I am alone.
I am alone and scared.
You have left me in a crumpled manner,
an innocence stripped,
Mind erased of thought.
I had lain there in amidst your peppered bruises,
sprinkled all over my body like the gentle snow outside but nothing was ever so gentle about you.
I had fought,
I had kicked,
I had screamed.
What more could I do than to lay down in defeat beneath the rocks that were your hands, your body as a brick.
Your raspy voice in my ear as I lay limp,
In the sheets,
But now alone.
How could I have known a smile so sweet,
A voice so smooth,
A gesture so kind,
Heavily turned to hushed violence,
A dark memory.
Your hand clamped over my soft lips now torn,
Your body between my bare legs, now bruised and red,
My mind innocent and pure now rots with your voice that rings in my head as you dump me in my normality.
I sorely walk,
I sorely stumble,
I sorely drop into the hot water to burn your touch away.
I will not forget you,
I will carry your scars you left,
And I will pretend I did not exist that night.
I died in those empty sheets,
I was embodied into the name I had earned.
Slut, is what you called me.
I will not forget how you wiped your hands on me,
I will not forget that I am nothing more than an object.
Use me to your ill advised.