close your eyes
(i close mine)
shut them tight –
               what you see
               is one light
               i want us in:

these hands (my hands)
                                        are yours.
these arms (my arms)
                                        are yours.

lay your head
on this chest (my chest)
and feel.
               your song.
                              inside.
                                             this heart.
(my heart)
– that’s you.

these lips (my lips)
on your cheek
               are yours.
this voice (my voice)
and these words (my words)
in your ear
               are yours –
                              for you only.

imagine
               a butterfly hurricane within…
               a clock forever broken just right…
               all the stars only an arm’s length away…
– that’s you:

               my nightlight.

(you can open your eyes now)

It's been awhile since I found my inner song,
I've been looking at everything so wrong.
I disappeared into the great sea of darkness,
I tried my best but was always seen as heartless.

How can I make up for this time here?
I long for my friends to be oh so near.
I wish this wasn't the way things had to be,
But it'll take me awhile to find the real me.

I understand if you can't just wait around,
I won't be upset if you give up on my sound.
Just always remember how we used to be,
Look at the way we used to laugh and see.

Suffering

                    in silence

                                        is the world's

                                                        ­          most addictive

                                                               ­                                  substance.


        pills, drinks, syringes, lines... are just the Tools of Suffering
                for people whose prime preoccupation has become
                                   self-imposed silent suffering.

but Yoouu

                     are NOT on
  
                                                 that crap!
                          

                                                    So
        ­                                            Sis!
                                                    Stop!
      ­                                              Suffering!
                                                    Soundlessly!­

there's a voice in the back of my head.

it's unfamiliar and my body aches to know where it came from. it sounds like a song that i don't know the words to but the music and melody are way too familiar, and yet still not close enough for me to remember. it's a voice that's soft and gentle. something almost too shy of a whisper but loud enough to wrap itself around my lungs and make its way into my veins. it's a voice i hear in my heart. a voice that is no longer a voice but a hum that's now a part of me.

and i still can't find it. i don't know where it is. i've been searching the ever endless filing cabinets that fill up my mind. color coded and a voice coated in something so smooth i could've easily mistaken it for honey. there's no record of something this beautiful.

maybe one day i'll hear it, but for now i'm writing in hopes that i'll recognize this voice as mine.

memories from the past keep echoing
like little drops of rain tapping on the windows in my head
pitter
       patter
               drip
                   drop
remnants from the storm only I could see
feel
     hear
           taste
the scent of death weaves its smoky hands around my neck
i scream

but my voice is only a whisper
so
   soft
        so
           soft
my screamswordsfeelingspains
are just dead leaves carried on a heavy w
                         i
                           n
                              d
dead leaves you crunch with your feet

Underneath fractured rainfall
a shadow remains of the person you used to be
Your thoughts fly among the doves
having escaped steel cages of clouded silence
and comes gentle rain,
washing away the unforgiving cold

As your dreams pour out of your voice

finding my voice is so ******* scary

how am i supposed to fill up that much space when i'm used to constantly shrinking myself in the presence of others

I am tiny and idle
I wonder curious at heart
I hear clanking of eyes
I see untold murders
I want to expand the voice
I am soul and dented

I pretend
I feel
I touch
I worry
I cry
I am

I understand
I say
I dream
I try
I hope
I am...