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The birds will sing again
for my sweetheart when summer comes around
the place where Helen
now dose
Its to where I'll lay my
flowers and sit and talk to her whilst listening to the birds as they sing there
loverly songs
Now winter on It's way so damp cold and miserable
not the place to be but come again the summer I will sit with her
And listen to the songbirds sing there songs for Helen cause In summer It's a pleasant place to be but for me another winter to get through
Helen always struggled In winter but come the summer she would come to life
As summer fades
Fall has begun
Our once bright days
Now setting Sun
Uncertain what the future holds
Just know that I am getting old
For youth one does not get to keep
Through window blinds of life I peek
A path that's been filled with mistakes
I've walked alone but chose to take
My baggage with me where I went
Much money earned; much money spent
An epic track that seemed to reach
Earth's corner's as I searched and seek
For happiness with love and joy
These things I lost when just a boy
Were taken; someone stole from me
No safe to crack; there was no key
Defenses were not set in place
A child who had yet to face
Like Adam when bereft of sin
Attack that had struck from within
Where body fully left in tact
A shattered mind you won't get back
And over shoulders look for pieces
Equaled grains of sand on beaches
Traveled much, went far and wide
Blind to the circles spun inside
If challenges aren't met and faced
One can't expect to win a race
In life, with loss comes also gain
For cost brings lessons for our brain
All adding up to wisdom learned
So as time goes we can discern
This is the trade for youth with age
In our "life book" we write a page
Our bodies start becoming meek
Not equal outlook that is bleak
As faculties get old and fail
Some ways our vessel is a jail
The footsteps made are less and less
But minds expand an endless breadth
A question though of great concern
is, What if someone never learns?
They pay the price; accept the cost
But in return there's only loss
There's no trade off or benefit
An idiot who is a twit
You'd almost feel some sympathy
For one pathetic and who's weak
Unless of course you realize
The suit he wears; tried on for size
No twisted arms; he was not fooled
All info given; went to school
Just sat and stared off into space
So much potential he would waste
Break-even point, where are you at?
Is it still forward or way back
There comes a point, true with all things
Sometimes it hurts the heart and stings
We realize the end has come
There's nothing more that can be done
All effort from here on, a waste
The money spent is better saved
Don't think of it as giving up
More simply that one's time is up
Life is a journey that's for sure
But may be one that is endured
Instead of riding off in glory
Constantly are saying "sorry"
Trying to right each mistake
There is no life; an endless chase
A dog who tries to catch his tail
An nonstop game of "try-and-fail"
You ask "Why should I even try?"
Pathetic tears to say 'goodbye'
I have one choice that I can make
That will erase all my mistakes
If I'm not here I can't ***** up
Forget "half-empty", there's no cup
The disappointment and the shame
No longer need to play that game
Sure people might feel bad at first
But don't forget; somehow subvert
In closing I can finally be
What all expected me to be
A hero or a champ who "wins"
Not loser who just fails and sins
So tears don't cry (and you may not)
I'd say that I had fought the fought
But you know that is one more lie
Don't need to add; just say 'goodbye'
Written: September 2019

All rights reserved.
[Iambic Tetrameter Format]

I wrote this poem as a sentiment or feeling but I am not actually contemplating suicide. I would never actually do that. I don't want to harm myself but sometimes the sadness, desperation, and despondency bring me to a place where it runs in my my mind not as an actual act but more of a thought of sympathy. So, I am in no way making light of suicide or trying to be coy. This was written from an honest place inside but I am not in a dark place or thinking of hurting myself in anyway. (Just to be very clear in case anyone might think that or be concerned). This piece is more of a perspective piece (and an honest one) but not one I share in any true or meaningful way at this time. =)
If going to the park
At three in the morning to get ******
And talk about what we do and don't know
Is a waste of time
I'll gladly waste away my life

If running barefoot
In the construction lot
Behind the local cemetery
Is no way to make friends
I suppose I'll have to risk it

If loving while I can
With no makeup on
Won't get me anywhere
I guess I'll stay
Right where I am

If dropping out of college
And moving to New Jersey
Because my girlfriend is a wildfire
And I don't mind the burning
Is a stupid way to live my life
I guess

It looks like I
Am set to waste my time
And hang around
With the exactly wrong crowd
And dance in the rain
In the same old parking lot

Perhaps in your eyes
I am a waste of life
Another burned out youth
Old by seventeen and
Tattered in a trailer park

Build your life
Make your connections
Keep waiting for life
To come to you
And when you die
In your socially acceptable town

Me and my friends
Will be long dead
Rotting away
In the very same place
When the gods die
And the world rusts
We will not be remembered as the ones who changed the world
We won't be remembered at all
We will simply be the ones
Who danced while they could
Who ran out in the weather
When everyone else stayed inside
We will be the ones who loved the most
And fell the farthest
We will have learned all there is to know
All the lessons of a cruel world
We will die unspectacularly
We will have raging two person parties
We will die with heads full of memories
From dreams we chased like wrathes
We will be the ones who did not sit and wait
And in the end
We will always be the fortunate ones
I am going to live while I can. I will not wait. If this is a mistake, I am glad I've decided to make it.
Don't worry yours will come to you.
No yours will left.
It's easy.
Over time my tears have gradually dried probably now done all the crying I'm going to do but one can
never say for sure
sometimes out of
the blue will come
There were times when I
first lost Helen I didn't think
that I'd be able to carry on
but my dedication to her Is pulling me through  
days  I have
left still to
Johnny walker Aug 30
Sometimes I feel the world has got It In for me or maybe I'm  to blind to
Blinded by grief the loss of my sweetheart so I'm not best happy with this
So If the world has got It In for me makes very little difference  
Nothing much I now want to do without my sweetheart so I quess I'll hang around
try and pass my time left here In this life and wait for the Angels to come
Ronza Jairy Aug 29
Your memory is
A butterfly that visits
Me time after time
Neha Sharma Aug 18
Better to come,
Worst has gone.
Dusk was harsh,
Welcome cheerful dawn.

~your smiling queen :)
Something better has to come.
Just wait for it.
By the way Tommorow is my birthday, what can be better than that.
Em MacKenzie Aug 18
You know I saw this from miles away
planted my feet determined to stay,
you’re always searching for an answer,
blatant location: Tropic of Cancer,
I try to give direction but it’s something I can’t say.

So don’t go giving up on me
I try my best to make it all easy,
but you’re determined to house this burden,
even though it’s certain I’m the person,
who’s always around even when you can’t see.

I’ve got the patience of a saint and some,
and gained belief and knowledge from
what dreams may come.

Well we’ve discussed this and more
opened the lines and opened the door.
So divided and undecided,
why try to fight it when we can’t hide it,
you can’t go showing someone truth they’re not ready for.

I’ve got the time to wait in slum,
some would say I’m playing dumb
for what dreams may come.

I’ll keep living under heavy thumb,
trying to convince myself I’m numb
to what dreams may come.
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