"You're not a lot of fun to be around" she blurted Not the first time I've heard it I went From being bullied to being A bully, was never meant to be permanent You can probably guess what temperament brought more enjoyment? So there's a solid argument to be had for it being a just verdict But if you've never been in that predicament hold your judgmental hyperbolic rhetoric Most folks seek out that kind of empowerment but keep it quiet, I'm just admitting it Look, nobody's perfect but the crime has never fit my punishment Pushed and shoved "getting back to the old me" to the back burner, against my better judgement Cause I didn't bother with it any further, now a derelict social misfit Then when it's my turn to take back the moment My retort, a one and done statement; Fck you, fck the planet and fck everyone on it Easier to parrot that then to admit no one can stand me past the first minute I don't know if it's the misplacement of hurt and anger, a cover for inadequate social alignment Or a relentless deep seeded resentment for the general public Not sure but it definitely feels organic This old dog ain't capable of learning a new trick regardless of any enlightenment Kinda sad isn't it?
I had to bully myself: By suffering from the happiness of someone else By crying from the laughing faces of someone else By seeing someone I loved being with someone else And by trying to forget the reason why I loved.
Sometimes I am sick of being sick. I crawl into the covers and hope tomorrow is a better day. One where my mind won't be so cruel. Yelling insults only I can hear. I wake up only to find. The bully still living in my mind.
Much rather than having her dead. Let her live and let her loll in my joys, beauty, and happiness. whilst her soul is stripped naked and humanity no longer resides in her, nor will she know the ease of humility.