"One day, you'll grow up
And you'll make a lot of friends
Or maybe you won't
Maybe you'll just have a few tight buddies
But if anyone tries to change you
you don't need them
You're amazing the way you are"
I told her
She looked up at me
With large, doeful eyes
Nuzzled me and mooed as if to say
"I'm not sure what you just said
But I think I understood it"
As I rubbed her head and ears
At least I can give life advice to a Jersey heifer
Before my program ends and I go back home
I wrote a little poem,
I wrote it just for you,
to match the way
You make me feel
I wrote it all in blue.
I wrote it on a napkin,
I had to keep it brief,
I swore a bit,
And cried a bit,
It caused a lot of grief.
I pondered on delivery,
pondered til I was sick,
Then settled on
this method here
I wrapped it round a brick.
The next time that I see you,
In person, with some luck,
I'll remember to
give it to you,
And you'll forget to duck!
It wasnt my best day in fact I was lost like a person who has actual musical taste at a modern pop concert.
Hopeless beaten in need of a hug or maybe something else .
Hey id sit outside with a sign around my neck saying blow me.please if I thought it actually work.
What dont judge me and dudes need not apply that was a phase in college .
Im kidding I never went to college
She was gone and i was alone left with the farting dog and a world of pain while the miserable slut puppy was off having the time of her life .
Minus the dirty dancing and Patrick Swayze wearing his skin tight sexy black shirt .
But nobody puts baby i a corner im just saying.
Sure I was alone my booze supply running low trapped in a shithole no hope of getting laid in sight but who's fucking bitter .
I mean I could replace my favorite nypho barely legal head cheerleader with the snap of my fingers.
Yeah I was totally fucked .
I didn't miss her so.much but why the fuck did she have to take her fucking vagina with her Damn greedy bitch .
Fucking women ya think they could just leave it behind like half there motherfucking clothes but oh no the greedy ass bitches.
And to all the ladies reading this please dont take offense im not calling all of you bitches just the dirty whore I was with for six fucking years but again im not bitter.
I was high and dry left only with half her crap and some farting furry hobo I called boozer .
Hey I was the man!
I was the one that was supposed to leave her in the dust .
It was then I had a moment of genius and yet another stiff drink cause my live in hooker left me to die in misery but who's bitter.
I dialed her number .
And to.my suprize she picked up.
Um are you just calling to not say anything yet again like last night while you play some.fucked up hair metal power ballad in the background again?
Hey sorry bout that last night didn't realize my phone was on .
Yeah was at a total orgy naked chicks everywhere didn't know I called you being I was so busy banging the night away totally not thinking of you.
Yeah that's why I could hear you crying and please pick.better music next time okay .
Well im sorry my.why did you leave me you cold hearted whore playlist wouldn't load .
Jesus Christ Gonzo im.not going to do this with you I told you were done I love you but im not in love with you cause im a heartless whore .
Okay she didn't say the last part but all my stories are based on reality duh there's a difference.
I paused thought about all the good times and kinky things we used to do I was really having one of those sappy TV show moments.
Gonzo what the fuck are you doing?
Kelley asked .
Nothing why just thinking bout the past looking at some home movies we made.
Jesus fucking christ!
Your watching porn and talking to me do not tell me.your jerking off as well you fucking pervert!
Kelley said. In her sexy angry voice once made me think I was in trouble or gonna get a spanking once I didn't fear cause she was on the phone and duh ya can't do that over the phone dumbass reader .
I swear you people who read this are total weirdos I guess that why I love you so much .
But enough with the foreplay children.
After I um got off the subject of if I was masturbating to some art films me and my ex made together .
It was really a think piece about a woman kinda lost seeking to find herself with no gag reflex .
I really miss my hooker.
Sure she was a cruel ,ruthless,lying,Cheating slut puppy but she gave me sex without charging .
To.much that is hahaha I know im fucked up but dont judge me least im a honest pervert.
Gonzo you know there's always going to be a part of me that loves you .
Yeah kid I know .
We were both silent for awhile .
I paused recalled the nights remebred just how close we were laying together in the dark .
Looking into each others eyes .
The scared messed up trainwreck of a soul that always laughed at my jokes.
The silence went on forever till I farted the loudest fart possible It was long and stinky honestly it sounded like a bomb going off and smelled worse than strippers g string after a long night at the club .
Not that I know what that would smell like I mean from what I've been told I mean.
Well at least its good to know nothings ever serious with you.
You drunken bastard .
So does this mean you've seen the error of your ways and are on the first flight home to totally screw the life outta me again?
Okay maybe a blow job ?
Don't think so Gonzo.
Fuck okay a hand job while we watch one of those gay ass chick flicks you like .
Hey you be suprized how good the notebook is while getting jerked off.
Mmm Ryan Gosling mucho sexy is all I'm gonna say.
Im kidding well kinda.
Gonz honey I know your in pain and I just want you to promise me this baby.
Please don't stop writing okay.
Kelley said to me.
I don't care what its about baby just never stop I love your work I always will you know your my favorite writer always.
I just got to figure me out is all.
I paused to drag this story out just a little longer and make the five of you that stuck through to read this shit wonder .
What the hell kind of shit is this nut on.
Well im definitely not on my ex haha but who is bitter.
We spoke a llittle longer I made her laugh as always promised her I would keep on being the greatest perverted short story writer on a site for poets that I could be.
We hung up went are separate ways.
I went on to be captain kickass .
And Kelley she fell asleep at the wheel drove off the side of a mountain dying in a fiery death .
Im kidding well I can always hope .
Im still writing like she asked.
And as long if your reading this sweetheart I know your demented ass thinks its funny .
You view men as a groundhog
Another sip in the well
On average you do right ping pong
He's on his bike, doing it in his favorite speedo
Even his car alarm is scared
It helps the problems
People and cameras don't do it any good
Cancer, why you're scared
Cause its holding against my stuff, the bottom
A woman's dress rips like that
You wanted to get somebody alone
Why you're so scared, your arms are socks
Play, make it up
On them, already
Pounce! He's commenting on your anthem, your smoke
In the nightfall, has dribble. It's too many
You just want to hold him out of the fire
You're running out of time, burning out
Spreading information, inflammation
It hurts our digital arena
Bones, you're hurting the people
If you're Catholic, you get punched because of your weird grandpa
Two analysts, a quest
Forty-five people after a noun
I eat cattle sticker
You are original, you are alive
Prognosis is that he owns the party that's special
Pray for camel, big one
He's walking, he's thinking, no one else sees him different
His arms are at a different corner of the table
Art rats on the home news
Anymore, passing off all the people
That's something that you shouldn't have to keep up with on a deal
Fermented particles of dung
Call it western tiki torches
The brocolli is a cure for a combination of lying and finding dinner
Buttered bread, a meal
Tissue box, the way he handles the situation
Recognize her parents, always honor them all day long
You are a Mexican Buddha
Channeling hope to them, getting them real smooth jheri curls
The medicines knocking, splinter the sidewalk
Come and look at the bow, the nook, under the table
You all could come look at the table and see that the table has a hook under it
You have a bowl, and you have your jelly
The wind sweeps your hair
It's Principle Protheroe, Black box
It's vile underneath the pyramid
She's wearing an apple for pro-Christ
She's worried that you might carry the apple in your ovum
I want to live
That would be fun, that would be omen
They freaking murder any animal they want to
Pray for animals to live
Honor your secret steal of a promise
Emitting your presentation
Permutating a skateboard which is an awkward word
Cable's not news, they're gonna hold you on the bet
My original oragami plane of you and Bishop scoured the whole sea
Pranking the gerbels is martydom in holy dividends
The rescue is you meeting a horror moon
Word to indentify
I love you like I love fish
I catch it in the open ocean
Bring it to kitchen
And cook it with such devotion
Then eat it with pleasure with no end
Though it sounds wrong to love fish
By killing it
By boiling it
putting seasoning on it
And swallow bit of pieces of it
So, I can't say I love you like I love fish
"I love eating fish" would be better to say
Though I realize its egotistic
That I indulge myself eating fish everyday
What about the fish that I picked?
The fish that I picked have feelings too
Did I ever asked for its feelings?
I need to feel the fish
feel the fins that clings
And try to fulfill its wish
Blub blub it says
Blub blub it cries
Blub blub I reply
Blub blub till the morning rise
Blub blub don't know why
It came to a point
where I don't know what to do
To The fish I'm holding
What should I do
To the fish I'm not eating?
I will tell you
We shared an amazing moment
On the open, sea the fish and I
On this ship event
Saw eye to eye
The eye that stared back
Never once blink
Tears filled in my eyes
And there's no more time to think
The calm weather cries
I put the fish back to the ocean
Its body waddled about
I slowly looked away
And tried not to look back without a doubt
It was a very emotional day.
There are a great deal of things you can eat
After a long day of hiking
Because after a trail in afternoon heat
Nearly anything is to your liking
However, please note that it's almost
Because no mater how hard you try
You can't make good chicken pesto
In two minutes with water and ramen under the sky
I have only known you for a few hours
How are we acting like we are best friends
Harmless flirting since we both knew it wouldn't lead anywhere
I know a few people, that tell me they are terrified to talk to you
Sure you put up a tough girl look
Those people fail to see your heart of gold
You walk around with a sense of confidence that is unmatched
Your laugh is intoxicating
I had you laughing throughout the entire day
Whenever you saw me your eyes light up so brightly I could see my reflection in them
You even chased me when I walked away
Scratching and begging for my attention
I became your addiction which didn't have a fix