HOME IS WHERE THE FAMILIAR IS©
I have never quite understood the saying "Home is where the heart is"
Does it mean where your physical heart is
Does it mean where your emotional heart is
Does it mean where your sweetheart is
Having just returned from a trip a thousand miles away and in length,
I can now describe home as the place where;
Your clothes are not lost (by the airlines) and do not appear to have been purposely wrinkled on arrival
Your life is not at risk in the hands of another, AKA the seemingly mad cabby
You don't take the subway going in the wrong direction despite the use of maps and clear written instructions
You know where the shifter is on the car
Finding which key fits, which lock, is not an exercise in futility
Locating which cupboard contains the right glass, cup or dish you are looking for is not a mad search mission
All your favorite foods are in the fridge.
The right knobs on the stove turn on the right burner.
The buttons on the remote are broken into for your favorite channels
You rarely run out of all your clean underwear and if you do, you know how to operate the washing machine
When your shoelaces break you know where the store is to buy new ones
The buttons on your shirt don't pop before an important meeting and there isn't a thread and needle to be found
The cake cutter you receive, as a gift is not treated as a weapon of mass destruction by a customs officer
The welcoming committee at the door no longer resemble miniature terrorists in waiting
The feel of your bed and the touching of toes are a giveaway
That you are home
Alas, though it may not sound as exotic or romantic as
"Home is where the heart is"
Home is indeed, that place where all is familiar
"Home is where the familiar is!"
Now and Then in 2017©
There was a time when I was younger
That there was this constant hunger
Time has passed and the years have flown by
Sometimes joy and laughter, sometimes a good cry
Vows kept under the stars we met
A grandson that keeps me young without regret
Where once I had a great left hook
I now rely on Facebook
Used to compete at a track meet
What I do now is Tweet from my seat
In lieu of at the rink with my team
I’m Linked In to the latest dream
Before, at the diamond with a bat
After, share the world with Snap Chat
Amazon was a great river in Brazil
Now an eCommerce site with a bill
Past, hanging out at the mall looking for chicks
Present, watching Netflix pics
It used to be four on the floor
Instead my best friend is an I Phone more
Many hours once spent polishing chrome
Replaced by Google Chrome in your home
Parallel parking used to be a real pain
My car parks by itself again and again
At the pumps no more
The car is electric and less a chore
I find myself often saying
Is there an “app” for that, and then playing
In conclusion I have no dilution of days gone by
The days of yore are long gone and I’m on standby
To give it all a try
The Rocket-man and the Dotard went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some ego, and plenty of hardblow,
Wrapped up in a billion dollar note.
The Dotard picked up his glass of coke,
And barked to a small guitar,
'O what a Pussy! A Pussy, a joke,
O What a Pussy you are,
O What a Pussy you are!'
RM said to the Dotard, 'You massive bastard!
You soundeth just like a dog!
O let us send nukes, no need for the troops:
Turn the world into rubble and fog.'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Rhetoric grows
And there in a wood the 20th century stood
With a tear at the end of his nose,
With a tear at the end of his nose.
'20th C, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your compassion and knowledge and learning?'
'Compassion' said he? 'Get down on one knee.'
But neither could bow to the world’s yearning
They instructed their slaves, to send Hbombs in waves
Their anger writ large with aplomb
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the bomb,
They danced by the light of the bomb.
Poet Don’t Show It©
As I sit here and ponder what to write
I suffer every poet’s plight
What to put in it that may bypass a cynic
Will it pass the test of time or be it a rhyme
Is it about a crime or will someone even pay a dime
How will I tell it if I can’t even spell it
It won’t be shock if I get writer’s block
Once more it would lead to things being hocked
How will I blend smarts and wit in it
With critics abound ready to pounce a limerick
When I made this a career choice
I knew then that I wouldn’t be driving a Rolls Royce
My Father would often say
Are you getting a real job that will pay
But Mom would often defend me and herself relay
Let the boy play he will make it some day
So now I sit here with a dry piece of bread
Trying to forestall the dread, what if they’re right I plead
Just then and there it came to mine head
It’s time for bed, don’t let this spread
I think oft what it would be like to be one of them
To look at the world through rose colored glasses
Where the world is perfect according to my childhood dreams
In that dream I would be a pilot, handsome and tall
A world traveler to boot
I would be married to the girl next door
The vivacious blonde with that voluptuous figure
Somehow as if by magic I would be rich as well as famous
My model looks would have me featured in a magazine
This would be a follow up to my bestselling book which is
Now being turned into the greatest movie of all time
The movie is a documentary about my days as a rock star
It would highlight my younger years
As a pro athlete and renowned artist extraordinaire
The captivating television interview for my hit movie
Held at my countryside estate overlooking the ocean
It is prominently featured in Homes & Gardens magazine
Having won the lottery my days are filled with
Time to spend with family and friends at will
Or inventing the greatest next best thing
My ideal children seemingly raise themselves
To become childhood prodigies
When I come back to reality in my modest home
Readying myself to go to my everyday job
And writing poetry waiting to be discovered
I wonder “Is this as good as it gets”
Na Ma brown will you no git ta ya bed.
Awk away with ya heidbanger
Am making myself a brew.
Am dying oh thirst
Wit does it take to get a brew made for ya round here.
Awk away with the lot of ya.
I canna sleep
Weres me bleeding slippers
Awe MA Brown
Wilt you no take it easy.
Watch out ya dinna miss the steps
Awk a dinna want to cart you off
To the medical ward.
Me foot is stuck
I canna put no weight on it.
Awe HUD ya weese woman.
Am no finished yet.
Right then let's get yah settled
and back into yah bed
I have four siblings
All younger, all boys
Caleb, Jason, Aaron, Landen
And they are so annoying.
Caleb loves his saxophone and video games and won't stop playing either for long enough to pay attention
Up, Down, Left, Right, A sharp, B flat, D
He never stops talking about chess moves
And if I have to listen to him play Careless Whisper
One More Time
Jason loves penguins and has so much energy
Always running screaming playing and suddenly I'm catching a penguin stuffed animal with my face as he plays his trombone as loudly as possible and I just want him,
To Calm Down
Aaron and Landen are twins
And some people have trouble telling them apart, so one wears blue and one green.
They love Minecraft and YouTube
So much so that I can't tear them from their screens
And it's Lizzie, Lizzie, look at our world, look at our world, look at our world.
And it makes me want to scream
Because I am so proud of my brothers
Caleb loves his saxophone and video games
And he learned how to play my favorite songs by ear
Just because he could.
He's globally ranked at his favorite game and he's been kicking my ass at chess since he's was 10!
And I remember,
Hey Lizzie, does this sound right?
As he played Careless Whisper,
One More Time
Jason loves Penguins and has so much energy
He's always loud and excited and he knows how to make people smile
He picked up an instrument just like Lizzie and Caleb and I was so happy I almost cried.
And when I was running ragged, anxious, nearly manic,
Hey Lizzie, want my penguin tonight?
He might help you
Aaron's color is green and he's our tough guy
Green because that's what Aaron means in Gaelic
Landen's color is blue and he's our cuddler
Blue because so are his favorite berries
But I don't need colors to tell them apart
Because their freckles form different constellations
And they love YouTube and Minecraft
They always show me videos they hope will make me laugh and have built masterpieces out of cubes
Suddenly, I don't want to take them from their screens
And I remember
Hey Lizzie! Do you like what we built?
Look at our world!
I have four siblings
All younger, all boys
Caleb, Jason, Aaron, Landen
And they are so amazing.
Mind Games 1001©
Silhouettes here shadows there they could be anywhere
At home I check everywhere with a thorough sweep
On the road like this motel, I make sure that they can’t peep
Always look out the window before you leave they can deceive
When driving check mirrors often it might be a tail and
they could be on your trail
A disposable cell phone is a must or use a public one just
don’t let them hear you, they might be near you
Move often from city to city they can be witty
and they are not beyond sending someone pretty
She might say they are here to protect the nation
in a conversation, like she’s as good as her word
Never trust anyone including a neighbor
even if they say they are a savior
When submitting to WikiLeaks be anonymous
for it is your identity that they seeks
When the occasion arises you may need
to wear disguises, a wig, hair dye, no less
you may resort to wearing a dress
The car you drive you should never own
a rental is safer in a different time zone
CIA, FBI, NSA, Homeland security
anyone of those it could be
My name is paranoid but you
can call me delusional or
Bob which is not that unusual