I dumped SuperGirl because her boobs are hard as rocks.
They are literally harder than concrete cinder blocks.
I should've known they were hard because bullets bounce off of them.
Breasts that aren't soft should be a crime because it is so grim.
When I broke it off, she made my life a living hell
She burned down my house and pissed in my well.
If you think that was bad, you won't believe the other things that she did.
She lied to Social Services, she said that I abused my son and I lost my kid.
She put an end to my sex life when she used her laser beams to castrate me.
My manhood has been taken and no jail will hold the bitch so she's going free.
My life has fallen to pieces, I would give anything for some Kryptonite.
I would also want Batman's armor suit so I could kill that bitch in a fight.
Don't even think about dating SuperGirl, believe me when I say that it is no fun.
If you date her and break it off, you'd better have a Kryptonite bullet in your gun.

It drives you mad, Eve,
that I won't eat your apple
(now hold your tongue and say it).

charlie t Jun 14

it’s like you burn the w
hole world
in a shadow pot of money

       and i should know
       i live in the sunlight

it’s funnyha
that you speakha ha
       in a tongue that nobodyha ha ha
kno
ws
ha ha ha ha(idiocy)
                            i shouldn’t be laughing
though because people are dy
ing right under yo
ur shoe
       (boo hoo)

Benji James Jun 14

B-E-N-J-I
Come on you're way outta line
Hey, Hey
Say Hey
Out on the foreshore
Looking for some more Y'all
Come on you whore
Get out on the dance floor
Call for some more Y'all
Take me to the mall
Thinking bout you walking down the hall
For sure
Hey give me that
Picking up that shat
Put it under the mat
Ha...Ha, Fuck That!

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that tit?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

Playing it single
Looking for some insults
Running from my result
Of being an adult
Just wanna let you know
I think ya mums a hoe
Oh, oh fuck ya wanna blow
I'll show you where to go
There he is now you know
Ya fucking wanna throw a punch
But I'll eat ya for ma lunch
Come on bring me down
And I'll take you downtown
Oh No what the fuck you know
Ya know nothing and that's how it goes
Whoa, whoa!
Back up the chorus
It's not all for us
It's all for one
But I'm not done yall

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that tit?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

They call me Benny
Just got change from a twenty
Y'all know so many
Wanna get me
But now you see
They all wanna leave
Because I ain't all that great
But still, they wait
Another rhyme on my hands
But I can't defend
Every man on this
God Forsaken Land
Show Me Where
I can put ma hands
On ya body
Can't touch me

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that tit?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

One More Time Y'all
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
And fuck you to

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that tit?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

©2017 Written By Benji James

Dreaming Liza Jun 14

Liar, Liar, pants-
Pants? Pants? It's more like: Liar,
Liar, soul on fire.

June 13, 2017.
Zeldaxlove64 Jun 14

He came back into your life and finally texted you.

"I just want to say that you were right.  I'm so sorry for everything that I did to you and for being the piece of shit that I was and am.  I'm not saying any of this to try to get your forgiveness, try to earn your sympathy, or to try to get you back.  I just needed to let you know that you were right.  It didn't work out and ended with my failed suicide attempt.  I just need to apologize and let you know that I know how wrong and fucked up of a person that I am.  I did so much wrong and hurt you so much and just needed to say that I'm sorry.  I'm Sorry for bothering you with this and I promise that I won't bother you anymore.  But I just needed to say how sorry I am and that what I did bothered me ever since it happened.  I'm sorry. I'll stop bothering you now."

Your heart stopped and you started crying.
You talked about what happened and he told you everything.
Now you two are talking again, and though your spirit is broken,
you try to be there for him.
He has feelings for you still.
You think he's scary.
And the funniest thing is that you were the broken one in the beginning,
but now its almost as though you two have switched places.
He's the suicidal mess, and you're almost content.
You've accepted that your life will always be messy,
Whereas his just started to be extremely messy.
You still don't know what to do, but that's okay, you'll figure it out.
How much more of a mess could your life possibly be anyway?

I just think its funny how I was the suicidal one when we broke up and now... HA!
James Jun 13

Billy Thatcher the meat packer
lost his job 'cuz he was a slacker
now he's a stripper
can't find a tipper
Because of his little tally-whacker

Or

When I was just a little nipper
I dreamed of being a stripper
I started my dance
tugged at my pants
got my pecker caught in my zipper

Couldn't remember if I've posted these or not.

1.
What if rocks are soft
and they tense up when we
touch them?

2.
What if clouds and lakes switched spots and every time you looked up you’d see waves being pulled by the moon and we’d wade through the clouds on a hot day?
What if birds grew grass and the ground grew feathers?
What if flowers were as tall as trees and trees as small as flowers?

3.
Bikes are acoustic motorcycles
Cars are liberated trains.

4.
Am I the only one that finds it weird that I
can transfer data from my brain to someone else’s by
opening my mouth and pushing air with vibrations in their direction?

5.
Getting up at 6:00 AM made me realize that 6:00 am isnt a place it is an emotion.

These were taken from the Buzzfeed article "21 Times All of Tumblr Was on Drugs".
Jurtin Albine Jun 10
Ew

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
Unfortunately for her, before she moved in, it had stepped in poo.
Now when she invites people over to stay
they say,
"Your house smells like shit."
and then they go away.

The old lady cries,
"Why, oh why, do my friends leave
every time they come by?"
for you see, the old lady hadn't the faintest of clues,
that her house was actually a shoe
that had stepped in doo-doo.

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