There's an aching in my bones for where that feeling they call home used to be but now it's only in my dreams.
My emotions keeps grinding away at my soul, telling me where to go and who to be.
But that's not me and this dream isn't my reality.
As far fetched as my hopes may seem to be, to me they are the reality supressing these nightmares that everyone else calls dreams.

Keep hoping for a new tomorrow to change my ways, but the days drag on, always the same.
Not knowing where the truth lies, disguised as a ride that takes you high enough to never feel it when the lie dies.
Staring pain in the face, wasting days swept under a carpet of disgrace, eyes staring back screaming with disdain.
Forgetting myself more with every breath, failing every test and silently waiting for death.

A lion roared in my dreams,
as fairies gathered biding me welcome.
My eyes scanned the surroundings,
trying to take in all with one glance

The lion got my attention
as it jumped off its pedestal offering me a ride.
The gentle breezes traveled through me,
waking up every cell to natures song.

Birds sang and wind danced inside leaves
reflecting an air of peacefulness.

Every being we passed bowed to us
as if we both were king and queen
in a moment that spawned royalty.

Lion and I merged divinely.
When he roared, I released a sound
that resinated across highway of fields.

Higher and higher we climbed
as an explosive energy
penetrated me inside grace.

It was an experience that needed no words
to escort my feelings
of joy and bliss.

In an instance my awareness
focused on cliff coming into view.

I grabbed mane trying to stop him
from leaping to our death and
possibly having an end
to our lucid life but had no control.  

A jolt forward that
might have caused awakening alluded me.
Instead, he leaped forward sprouting wings
and we continued moving upwards.

A parade of birds, and Pegasus's followed
gracefully behind. I felt part of them and they me.

Closer and closer to a pulsating rainbow sun
we traveled, feeling its rays warm as my heart opened.

We began to melt into the great ball of fire
It turned myself into a rainbow being
the likes I never saw.
I became a phoenix with wings of gold.
destined to make a difference
on the platform called earth.
I landed in a place I knew was my heart
and on arriving opened my eyes.

I was ready to embrace the day
Ready to be who I was
as a being in the new millennium.

today is the day
that i turn a year older than i was just last night
the digits have rounded their corner
and i am fortunate enough to see
the beginning of my second decade

another orbit around the sun
another 365 day interval
it's all just spinning
spinning
just like me

she's like a ghost
a host
a post
the most terrifying thing
you've ever seen
a beam
a dream
a scene
that fades into
the night
with you holding
her hand

I wake up late

as late as possible

and Im tired of forcing myself to sleep

exhausted

but what is worse

is gray days

full of nothing

so I sleep

live my dreams

and who knows

which is which

dreams are my creation

a world that belongs to me

but isnt my life?