Prove me wrong.
Prove that love does not mean soul.

Love blinds the eyes
Love blinds the mind.

Now we can see.
More than never.

You make yourself
impossible to love

you find yourself
impossible to love

this gets in the way
as i love you impossibly

impossibly lovely
impossibly ricocheting

careening calamitously
stop and be silent you say

incessantly again serving
this cloud coalescing

I watched you begin,
no one ever filled the space in between so beautifully,
as every place you reach becomes the future,
as right now is every moment,
I watched you move,

I wrote my songs for the dead

The sun
I watched you rise,
nothing ever as pure as the way you shine,
no darkness can withstand,
every star is the center,
I saw your light,

And wrote my songs for the dead,

fears,
spirits hear my voice,
carry me on the wind as a feather,
and melody,
harmony,
it's possible,

dreams,
as morning breaks over the land
I hear you breathe,
and melody,
harmony,
it's possible.

Murky shades of grey cling to my skin
depression has me in it's embrace
it seeks out the corners of my mind
gripping me with talons sharp
and tortures me with feelings of worthlessness
making me so alone , useless and abandoned

No glorious sunsets here
the stunning colours i remember are long gone
stolen by the dark cloud that hangs over my head
creating gloom that makes it hard to see
following me everywhere

Until i see your face, your glorious smile
warms up my world flooding it with colour
pushing back the clouds and
allowing sunshine to return
bringing brilliance, light and
a sense of wonder and love

©️ L Conway 2020

"What is your greatest fear?" he asked.

"For words to flee" she said.

The love effect

Open your arms
And with no fear
Give that person a hug
And tell them you appreciate them
Even if they don't reciprocate
Weaken the cement in your self made wall
Breakdown your stubborn barriers

Love breads love
That person somehow, somewhere deep down
Will feel a little joy from your gesture
They might manifest this joy
And give that same gesture to someone else
And thus it continues
Love spreads love

Your love may not be returned
from the one to which you gave
But the giving of unconditional love
will attract love back to you in ways
you won't believe
Overcome the awkwardness
Overcome the fear of rejection
And give out love

So go ahead
Tell that person that you love them or appreciate them
or you're grateful for them,
or all three
and more......
And wait as the ripple effect takes place
And waves of love will eventually be returned to you.

Love is magic
It breaks down barriers
It heals scars and wounds
It can end all feuds
You can be a part of this today

Open your arms
And with no fear
Give that person a hug.....

Cynical is my sister
who doubts we are related

where I am bombed by Russia
she vacates in Moscow.

does anyone else
get that pressure in your chest
it hurts to breathe
and your pulse is quick?

does anyone else
get a lump in your throat
it won't be pushed down
and your throat feels raw?

does anyone else
dream of happy days
a dog and a beach
and the smell of the ocean?

does anyone else
not want to die
but not want to lie
about the life they are living?

does anyone else
want to be someone else
want to be somewhere else
want to be something else?

I loved her
before
I even
met her.

I am not bad
I am not sad
I am not mad
I am not sick

I am always worry
Worry about character
Character from my nature

I am really bad
I am really sad
I am really mad
I am really sick

Because, I infected by death
                 I don't want die
                 I don't want die
                 Just, I want live,
                 To live forever

I ask so much, the remedy
And, no one has the cure

One old physician, one day
Tell me a lot of no prevention
If I don't want to die
I shouldn't come alive

Silence is a prison,
Ignorance is too.
Don't punish yourself,
You need a shoulder too

Your lips are sealed,
You are not you,
Your soul cries affection,
Will you let me help you?

I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know

The world is indeed topsy turvy.
Stones worshipped
with bouquets
and brickbats
thrown at people.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never know what's possible.

Just as the
dawning sun
kisses the sleeping Earth,
your smile brings
warmth and light
to my
soul.

appearing quietly
out of the mist

an oak tree
showing the way

What do you do
When all the words are meaningless
They’ve all been written before
All your emotions felt before
Your story told in many iterations
And through many different eyes
What else to do
But look deep within
And find what’s worth holding
What’s worth cherishing
What’s special

To you

I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

And over time,
My pen stopped bleeding
But my heart didn't

Sitting in my silence of solitude,
I won't spark a conversation.
Won't fight if I'm the exclude,
I'll be fine with this isolation.
I know I won't become that focal point,
For I'm much too afraid I'll disappoint.

Find meaning in your pain,
your trauma,
your wounds
Become the container
of your story
not the contained
To deeply connect
we need to unravel
unfold
be vulnerable
exposed
In this space
we see it all
In his space
we expand
We allow
We heal

You deserve the love
That will dance with you
In a garden full of bloomed tulips
And in a garden of dead roses

You deserve someone
Who'll drink whiskey with you
Even under a starless night
When you got yourself defeated

i never used to smoke
but since you left,
it’s the only time i can seem to breathe

I desire the overwhelming calm and tranquility
                        Drinks
                          Lawn chairs
                            Old friends
                               Crackling camp fire
         I crave the quiet
                   The still
                     The serenity
                        Just enjoying the company of your past
                                                            ­                    present
                                     ­                                                future
                      
                                   I long for composure

I’ve begun to forget what it feels like to kiss his lips,

The feeling of his arms wrapped around me.

I vaguely remember his lovely scent,

His beautiful warm laughter.

But I still know it’s my favorite thing in the world.

Monkey see monkey do
Monkey wee monkey poo
Monkey swing monkey fall
Monkey curl monkey tall
Monkey bang monkey yell
Monkey call monkey tell
Monkey sleep monkey dream
Monkey zoo
Monkey seen