She used to love
But now it's hate she loves
Hiding behind a mask of smiles
Her heart cold as ice
Though she breathes fire.

Her heart frowned with scars
She has her own fears
That rekindle memories
Buried for years
Like bizarre monster's
No one can help her face.

I hope my words haunt you

Because when they do

You'll know I'm right

when I die,
leave me as I am
with my greasy face,
and the streaks of blood,
keep me as the disgrace
I am.

Let it be in the night,
so that you may see the constellations
that I always treasured,
wherein I found Cancer,
and felt that Mom might be there.

So find Virgo,
and find me.

Play the theme from
Up,
and believe that I am
Up
there,
in the stars above.

For now,
I'll be here,
in the dumps below,
burying myself.

I can feel it heavy on my tongue, just a taste, to take the pain away.  I can feel my plights fall from the rafters of my mind as I reach out for that sweet nector, just a taste, the sweet shock to send every earthly pain away. I can feel my being and the aching void that occupies my chest slowly dissipate. Just a taste. Just a taste. Just a taste

I know I won't get to all
but ******, I'm gonna try
thumb up to every comment
up until the day I die

I can't react to every line and word
but ****** I can try
thumbs up to ever poet/poetess
maybe no one has, to cry

I'm just a singularity
but ****** all too ****
we, as a community
stand up, and hear the yell

I'm not you, and you're not me
but when you see thumbs down
chime in with words and thumbs
chase the trolls, outta HP town

If the moon don’t shine tonight her smile will lead the way
If the sun don’t shine today she’s having a bad day.
Her smile pierce through clouds, lit up space
When she smile people race to her, humans race

she painted my world red.
I loved red.
the love. the passion. the fire.
But despite her tenderness
the flames consumed me

I painted my world yellow.
warmth and sunshine and happiness.
I became a sunflower
always pointing towards the light
I loved yellow

But I learned to love orange.
I learned to love our worlds together.
I learned to love myself
while I loved you.
and now orange is my favorite color

Liquor Courage

That shot of that Jack got me living in the moment
Tomorrow regrets are tomorrow’s regrets and tomorrow I will own it
But for right now Ima say and do as I please
And when tomorrow come ill just rinse and repeat

we do not write poetry
we write mirrors
which are held up
to curious faces
who read
looking for their
own reflections

Bite me like sun rays in the summer
I’ll show you what it’s like to love the pain

you said that it would hurt
but i didn't believe
that it would hurt just as much as it did

My handwriting was so ****,
I practiced it day and night

I wanted to become a doctor y’see.
A doctor with a fine hand.

My handwriting became so good,
I became a Writer instead.

Now
I Type!

A part of me will always love you.
I’ll probably always hate that part of me.

With just four fingers Mr. Spock,

You ask way too much of me.

You are hidden
in the back of my brain and repressed
in an attempt to be forgotten.
Only to be remembered
when triggered by a touch or voice.

You rise from the shadows,
making yourself known,
conquering all my other memories,
pushing everything aside.

You dominate my head,
I applaud you for your assertiveness,
always winning the battle,
King of my mind,
until you are lost
no more.

Paint me a picture
Of your skin
Does it bronze beneath the sun?
Or sizzle and blush
Like your cheeks
When you’re in love?
Is it soft to the touch
Like when your palms graze
The smooth surface of water?
Or rough around the edges
Like your favorite book
And its lovingly worn corners?
Does it melt in the heat
Like sweet syrupy treats
Dripping through your fingers?
Or does it welcome the winter
With wide open arms
As if greeting a lover?
Paint me a picture
Of your skin

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

Bury me in the
Yellow Flowers
As my thoughts
drift away.

Have you ever noticed
how rain on windows
follows a similar track
as the lightning they once fell around

Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe

alone in my room,
i search myself for comfort.
i can't find my heart

it’s either

her

or

me.

I breathe in
I breathe out
I don't miss you but
You've missed out and
That's okay
I have a true lover now
He's my breath of fresh air
He's a comfortable breeze and
He welcomes me
For all that I am and
All that I can be
Yet I can't be when
I'm lying here
With damaged lungs
Making it so incredibly hard
To breathe in
To breathe out

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Laying in my bed curled up
Acid in my throat because I didn’t eat
Clenching my fists around my blankets because I can’t sleep

Are you thinking of me?
Laying in a tent, uncomfortably,
Snuggling close to your fluffy white dog or your younger brother to stay warm.

Are you missing me?
No. Not the way I’m missing you
You’re not thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you
And though it means the world to me that a beautiful soul like yours is friends with a storm cloud like me, it shatters my heart into thousands of sharp, jagged pieces that you’re
~ just ~
my friend.

“I’m sorry but I need to know, is it mutual? It’s alright if it’s a no, I can handle it, I just want you...to be honest”
A pause...
Then the raindrop falls.
“Right now, it’s a no”

Ripples.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
No.
No.
No.
STOP.
I care about you so much, I know I need to let you go, so you would never read this, and I would never show anyone this.
It’s all swirling around in my chest, faster and faster until it explodes, word ***** and tears.
I love you.

I didn’t tell you I loved you, only that I had feelings for you.
Why bother? It would’ve made things more painful for me, more bitter for you.

But I can’t show you this.
I don’t want you to change.
I don’t want you to change the way you speak to me, to change your mind when you’re about to type a heart emoji,
to stop yourself after just saying “goodnight” and leave out the “baby”

This is my undoing, not yours, and I want you to keep letting me be your anchor, your shoulder, your shield, my open arms waiting to catch you when you tumble from your flight.
I can’t keep loving you, I can’t stop loving you.
I want to stop feeling at all.