I don't have blood in my veins,
but I have this steady, snapping beat,
I don't have a boy on my brain
but this chorus constantly on repeat.
because life just brings me pain,
and when the world becomes
just one big game,
music is the only thing
that understands me

The sky is so blue,
And the clouds are very white,
It won’t rain today.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

We don’t see the carrots to be cut,
We see the sharp knife that could cut us.

We don’t see the bridge,
We see the other side of the railings.

We don’t see painkillers,
We see medication we could drown ourselves in.

We don’t see the train,
We see the tracks we could lay on.

We don’t see the nice view,
We see the cliff's edge we could jump off.

In you,
I've found an appreciation for the ones I've hurt
I've found a new reason to scorn the stars
For all their bright, unwavering light
For all their fragile grace they scatter upon us
I've found no way to leave my winter bones behind
To make peace with the new, and growing
I've found no reason to move on
And too many to stop

suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option

You say you're okay!
But the ocean within your eyes,
Articulate a different prose.

My words became
knives.
A paragraph,
a sword.
And when I
made
my first speech,
the room
                was
                        hit
                             with
                                            a
                                                    grenade.

It may just be
that you are simply too bright,
one of the vibrantly bright stars
in the galaxy,
and they slowly disappear,
like orbiting dandelions -  
their seeds
slowly being blown away
on the harsh gusts
of your exhaling flames.

Today is a very sleepy day
And I am going to sleep it away
So please do not come in my way
For today is a very sleepy day

when you understand my poems perfectly then,

their utility is inutile,
their usefulness is, will. always be, in the

nth  

reinterpretation, a million and still counting,
as long as you must guess at its labyrinth inner wired construct,
be pleasured by the roiled and rolled curves upon your tongue,
two lives (yours, mine), a paired wine tasting, we together,
believing in the greatness of joyous frustration

some say, as I do, the world is better for the
utility of thine own struggled understanding,
the truest combination of two way communication,
surpassed only by our at last armed embrace,
when at last we understand our mutuality of need and salve...

Love is like taxis
They're everywhere when you don't need it
But nowhere to be found when you do

you’ve stolen so much of my soul,
i’m still trying to remember who i was

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I don’t know how to love you.
He broke me down like
the longest math equation.
But, in the process of solving he found
no solution. Only lost numbers
memories stuck on the chalkboard.

You say you’re too broken too.
But now you’re here.
Confused and softened possibly
afraid.
Definitely afraid.

And in this moment my mind
flushed with all of the feelings I kept in
my little locked box.
The cherishment I have for you and the
care and want that come along with
you. I wanted you. I want you.
But my brain tells me I don’t.

So my words are broken but my mind
is made up.

I want to be with you but you
don’t want to be with a
f—- up.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Red fire
caught in this disturbing web
bound

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

A tree falls in the forest,
and it doesn't make a sound.

A man yells in the forest,
and local wild life forms a mob.

A man falls in the forest,
and he doesn't make a sound.

A tree yells in the forest,
and we all run like hell.

When I say
that you are my Sun,
I don’t mean that you are
Luminous,
Brilliant,
Gilded,
Beautiful,
Bold,
Warm,
Or even the center of my universe.
I simply mean that
I cannot look at you
Without hurting

keep me in the
pocket of your jacket

love me in the
corner of your heart

dream of me in mantis shrimp
colouration.
think of me when doth
shatter thine heart.

if i could be
what i would need
myself I lose;
myself I dream

I hate that my only experience of love,
Before now,
Was a demonstration of narcissisms bargaining chip.
The soul source of a narcissists food to feed the ego.
Because for a long time,
I was in deep belief that love was fleeting.
Here one second,
Non existent the next.
Torturous…
And devoid of any warmth falsely portrayed in movies, books and the lives of my friends.

I hate that I was conditioned to believe love was regimented.
Structured and strictly used to service you.

Affection was a mirage
Shown only when I must’ve needed a reminder to cling to false hope that this was real.

And while some romance films
Toy with the idea of some small sacrifices being involved
None ever quite explained that you had to forfeit your dreams for a narcissists ego.
Luckily, this was something you explained to me.
I should’ve graduated 3 years ago…

Despite your hard hard work to convince me love wasn’t real,
That I was nothing of worth.
I am being loved, shown I too can be supported, encouraged.
And I am stronger
And worthier
And happier
Than I think you are ever capable of feeling.

The hole you’ve dug is a deep one,
Get comfy before they fill it in.

I'm constantly reminded of the goodness
in the Lord
He is oh so awesome even when we're hurt
and sore
Just when I've been discouraged and in my
heart I'm feelin blue
He has a way to pick me up this God of me
and you
So if you get discouraged and you loose
your sight of him
My friend never give up hope just let our
savior in
If you need financial gain or whatever it
may be
He's standing right beside you now this
God of you and me

To write words over and over
To explain what it feels to love you
To express what you mean to me

No words can be enough for that
And so I always end up erasing them

I’m just tired. Tired of being broken. Tired of being forgotten. Tired of being used. Tired of feeling lost. TIred of being nothing. Tired of fighting myself to eat. Tired of feeling empty. Tired of feeling alone. Tired of Tired of doing everything for everyone; But getting nothing in return. Tired of being pulled back into this dark place. I’m just tired. Tired of crying.. Tired of breathing.. I’m just so tired..

Don't speak harshly,
Your words will form swords in me

Touch my cheek; speak gently,
And they will form worlds in me

it wasn't until the sun rose
that I realized
just how much
I was in love with the moon

She has the spirit of a wolf that belongs to every man
Built a pack and conquered all crowns
Hides silently in every closet, worn as dress exquisitely covered with thorns
She gathers all with just a whisper, and rules over with a simple tug of the string

It's like the entire world feels right
whenever I see you.

to the the girls who starve themselves,
the ones that watch their carbs,

you want to feel adored
you´re personality is fading
they´ll eventually get bored.

while striving for more
you settle for less

you can´t seem to love yourself
step on the scale, there go a few numbers
along with your happiness

𝙸𝚏 𝚠𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚠?
𝙸𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢?

𝙽𝚘 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎,
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢?
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚋𝚘𝚠?

𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎
𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑?
𝙴𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎,
𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚎.
𝚃𝚘 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎.
𝚃𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚗.
𝚃𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢,
𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗' 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐
𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝.
𝚃𝚘 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕.

𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚝!
𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚏*𝙲𝙺 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕?

𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎,
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗,
𝚆𝚎 𝚐𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.
𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎; 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜
𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕.
𝙾𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚊 𝚟𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚌𝚎 ..
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚝?

𝚃𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚍.
𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢?
𝚃𝚘 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎.
𝚃𝚘 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.

𝙻𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.
𝚂𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍
𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗
𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

I guess I’ll never understand
      Why you cry yourself to sleep

Why you look in the mirror
      To see one missing piece

What must I do to help you
      Sleep sound
            When I’m not around...

You are complex, hard to read

But,

You are

perfect

to me.