He punched me last week
And told me that he was joking and that's between me and him
My friends saw and helped me break it off yesterday
Today is my eighteenth birthday
And I am nothing like my mother

It was a sunny day, your smile on my mind I was on my way
Ring in my hand today is the day
Always felt this way, from the moment our lips touched It was meant to be
From the moment our souls touched I was meant to stay
Both envision it see, the moment our love touched we were meant to break free
Together forever on a oceanic breeze, exploring the wonder our love evergreen
A heavenly scene, I see paradise in your eyes,  our river of passion runs infinite deep.
Skin real silken soft like satin when we embrace and feel
Every instant our tongues collide it's living a dream
Heaven I'm seeing, perfection I'm living, infinite giving as to nirvana I'm driven
Your voice equivalent to angels singing, If loving you make me a sinner, every second I'll be sinning
Our red line of fate not cotton a ribbon
Cinders in our hearts fire it's omitting
Sizzling and spitting imprinting our love on one another as we kissing
This the day I willingly give in to thanks, you my thanks-giving
My only wish granted, Gods present

What is a human? Study your life.
What is a soul? Breathe, my dear.
What is imagination? Seek and ye shall find.
What is power?  Not money.
What is love?  F* only knows.
What is joy? Fickle, always fickle.
Where are the humans? Everywhere…just look.
Where is the soul?  It is dreaming.
Where is the imagination?  It’s with your soul.  (I think they are friends).
Where is power?  It is not in a white hall or house.
Where is joy? Seek and ye will not find, it will find you.
Where is love?  Here…..

it's been plenty of years feeling like strangers  with the beautiful smile that you gave me the first day we met you gave me a chance to love how could l ever thank you.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

inside me there is
a red piece
and a blue piece

the red protects me like
a wildfire
but it burns and destroys the beauty around me

the blue grounds me like
a puddle of water
but it’s heavy when it pulls me under

i am water
i am fire
and i am constantly drowning and scorching

from inside out
my blues and reds
are labeled by others as crazy

In this body, my soul screams
A cry so deeply embedded in my chest my  veins run dry
Do the words exists? To describe a soul so taunted
A sick, dry, maddening feeling
A life to live, yet here I am
A screaming soul
Torn

noise curves
small, sleep stirs
neon stars

sifted laugh, broken sigh
bed to silent floor

duvet nest familiar
slick peace, sticky dream

hope & fear
bicker between blue-lines

chaste moon - crimson fleck  

town’s painted red
painted warning

it’s fine
it’s fine

cramp & pink
it’s time

wall for balance

tide -

coats fingers, plasters thighs

cramp & heat
cramp & fire

cramp & cramp
& cries

Exiled to dusk,
Fractions of the sun
Begin to lift away,
In concealment
We shudder,
Casting our reels
Into a pond of uncertainty,
Clock hands bend
With advancing shadow,
And speak of time
Only in past tense,
I so want everything
I ever felt for you
Preserved for posterity,
Even should forever
Be far less than
We imagined.

sunlight kisses my rosy cheeks
my eyes are closed, so i can see

behind my eye sockets there is liquid gold, shimmering sparkles
glittering effervescence, champagne bubbles and
warmth, i bask in the heat of Soul and Energy! the exhilaration of movement and being

in hands, i lay
cupped, held, contained, cradled
i am a Child again
i’m protected,
i’m present.

the darkness
the lightness
the in between
i am
floating through worlds, through universes, through bright stars and colorful spinning galaxies
all while i am guided by fingers, pointing in the direction i must go in

i hear singing, faint
someone is whispering
in my head

“hey kid...”

I used to feel so easy to love but maybe
I’m just eager to please
because no one thinks
to love the girl
who looks best
down
on
her
knees.

They step on my knuckles and it’s a compliment
to stand and watch me bleed.
Wrap my hair around
their wrists and smile,
fill my mouth
with
their
cursed
seed.

They tell me not to cry, or think, or speak, but I
have been crushed between teeth
and swallowed quickly
more times than not.
Scared to rot,
they
live
off
greed.

they said fall in love
he said fall for me
but no one ever told me it came with a fee

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

Cold coffee settles me
And stirs the morning into dew
In a warm body

You are not the love of my life,
You are the life of my love ❤️

i think that the most damaged people in the world
are the kindest
and the softest

because they know
that scabs can be picked
and you can bleed

She stands at the edge of a forest with arms outstretched,
And her shadow mingles with the long shadows of firs on the snow.
She bends at a fire.
Beyond the cottage, faint in the crystalline night,
A wolf howls and is answered by another.
She brushes back her hair, comes to lie beside him on the bed of feathers.
She runs on the summer beach on the lake, and he believes that she is laughing.
He tries to go to her, but is held back.
She is standing on the edge of the lake, calling to him,
Calling his name with one hand beckoning, but when he tries to move toward her,
She fades into the mist.

if you can’t be with the one you love
take care of the one you’re with

We are the result of all we can imagine came before us,
in this bubble
of being we find our selves staring back
into from
the abyss, where luck is not a factor.
{from the movie}
nay, from Nietzsche, the drinking game
- on
- each time one looks into the abyss
- the abyss looks back, so luck is not a factor

sure. that makes perfectible sense, there's a signal,
a fluctuation,
measure it, man, and tell us all you know it means.

Ferlinghetti died yesterday, I could have known him,
if I'd tried.
I did not care for his view of truth. But he was young,
last time I took him serious.
I notice,
I don't care for my view of truth at that age.
But did you see him in the Last Waltz,
he was unmused, I felt bad for him.

And now he's dead and being reread. That's pretty cool.

In the deep corners of 3am,
I find her.

Id cry too,
Cry for me,
Cry for you,
Cry every time you see the color blue.
Cry alone in bed,
Cry each night after the prayers that are said.
Fill a bucket full of tears,
Those aren’t yours anymore,
Give them here.

I’ll just deal with the consequence later
right now I’ll allow my consciousness to waver
serving up a flavor,
that tentatively turns into a vapor
is a remedy I savor
along with the marrying of a melody that influences my behavior
as the intensity of the intended entropy gets greater

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

you think you're a monster
but you'll never see
your soul how it really is
it's like the sea

my eyes were closed
but I could see your face
so clearly

my arms were still
but I could feel your hug
so deeply

it wasn't even real
but I could feel my heart
racing

up to the very moment
I awoke