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/////////////////////////////Ernesto Perez-Carrillo////////////////////////////////////

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/////////////////////////////////Derm 'o' Tee/////////////////////////////////////////////


///////////////////////Perhaps, are Two sides of the same coin?////////////////

I want you to be happy.
I want you to laugh a lot. I don't know what exactly I'll be able to do for you,
but I'll always be by your side...

Evenings are the bridge that connects day and night...
They are the magical path from blue skies to a dark night...
The stars and the moon could not join the night if it wasn't for the evening bridge...
They've been crossing that bridge since the dawn of time...
And they don't get tired of it...
Neither do I of waiting for the evenings...
For words just flow when the evening comes...
It is like poetry and nice feelings are  born in the evenings...
I am glad that bridge exists...
So moon and stars can join the night when evening is over...

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

saying words like forever
and it's been two weeks
i couldn't have words to describe
but also can't speak

Today I can look in the mirror and see myself
752 days and one major surgery later but wow I see myself

Of you
Of your voice
Of your lies
Of your fake smile
Of your fake love
And when I see you with her
After you called to say your flight was late
I know I’m tired
Of my love for you

When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow

the nectar of love
only comes with
the poison of pain,
two
for the exorbitant price of one

standing
at the chasm
of life and death
destroyed by love
grief remains
as life’s sole friend

the memories of love
now
belong to time
and this aging body
to the five elements.

© 2019

Rose in a dew
I thought I caught
a glimpse of you.

Zooming in
I thought I can
get closer.
Only to eye on
upon a river
amid myriad
over looking stars.

A drop spans out
to be a sea
neither did it tarry.
I thought I would
give up that big
is not for me.

But yet a scene
never washed away
is intact unblurred
beneath the million
waves of the sea.
I thought the moon
will give up!
It can never touch
but always returns
over the sea
can't forget a scene.
So is me
once that
I chanced to see.

We spoke of our tomorrows
and whispered a paragon promise,
as laminated truth,
never knowing any other texture
for all we had were our eyes
conveying this pledge
our gazes outshine - glowing,
we could never journey
on borrowed moonlight

In my apartment I often hide
Catching glimpses
Of nature that exists outside

Deeply rooted the trees remain dignified…
They know it’s not them
But the people who have me terrified

the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Dear death,

I have met life,
He wants me to fight,
But I'm so weak-
So can we meet?

I am charcoal cooking out for the summer
loading boxes into a freight truck
like coals into the furnace
powering America's materialist engine
the boxes rising like greed
until I've filled that truck's needs
exiting the trailer smoldering
like a coal in the furnace
powering corporate production
steam is all that rises as I melt into the ground
trucks leave like emissions into the air
obstructing my vision as I gaze down the street
through the haze of summer streaks
another truck approaches for repeat
a microwave set to reheat.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

With the wrong person,
Nothing will ever be enough.
With the right person,
Nothing will be more than enough.

do you dream of me
in the night
when the moon peeks its head out from its haze?

do you dream of me
the way i dream of silent chills
in cloudy summer days?

do you dream of me
in morning light
or evening blaze?

do you dream of me
the way i dream of your tender embrace?
or the way i dream of you
and your quiet mistakes
and all of the heart ache?

do you dream of me?

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

We don’t see the carrots to be cut,
We see the sharp knife that could cut us.

We don’t see the bridge,
We see the other side of the railings.

We don’t see painkillers,
We see medication we could drown ourselves in.

We don’t see the train,
We see the tracks we could lay on.

We don’t see the nice view,
We see the cliff's edge we could jump off.

I'm searching for honesty, truth so complete.

Busy are the highways, worn' the shoes on my feet.

When you are speaking, all the static I hear

The wineskins are bursting there's only one thing I fear.

When I wasn't looking you took something from me.

You see I thought I could trust you but it was not meant
to be.

The thing that you stole was a piece of my soul.

Now I am lesser than the man I was whole.

So now I must keep moving for the journey is long.

I've no time for weakness you see I have to be strong.

In the distance I'll be smarter not to trust one like you.

The hurt and pain I suffer for the things I must do.

                                                            ­          The end.

I come
To you today
With yet another scheme
For a wild, foolish adventure.
Coming?

suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option

My words became
knives.
A paragraph,
a sword.
And when I
made
my first speech,
the room
                was
                        hit
                             with
                                            a
                                                    grenade.