When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow

It's okay to feel sad
Trust me it's not that bad
It means you are healing
Because you started feeling.

It's okay to trace
fingers on your blister
It is evidence of your
strength that you foster.

It's okay to stand single
Being in the crowd can be a tingle
Hate from unknown hurts, its true,
But love from known can destroy you.

People can change
And it's not that I don't trust you
I just know what you're capable of
My heart closes it's eyes and follows you blindly
But my brain keeps on the calculation function

Calyx truck and ancient things
    Movie actors, magic rings
    Coincidence evinces, sings ...

    attentively, I breath and bring

                 Hiddenness!

Her eyes
reflect my moon.
In her eyes
it's always full.

Your eyes shine like a galaxy
Your nose so dainty and small
Your soft lips make me tremble
And my love, you have it all.

this is me expressing
straight up
i am so much more grateful for having
met you than i am
hurt that you are
gone.

A lover of the dark
I made friends with my demons long ago
That is why my darkness remains
Because I am it

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

my heart is a mystery

it can make me feel happy yet so sad

sometimes i feel like i don't belong here but then

but then i see you
and my heart show it's true colors

in these moments my heart is real

my heart is real
for you

At every forking of the road
I took the one less traveled.
And then I found to my dismay
The reason it was bypassed.
ljm

At times of darkness
Stand in the light

At times of cruelty
Be kind

At times of hate
Love

At times of judgment
Accept

At times of wrongdoing
Do right

At times of hardship
Help

At times of darkness
Stand in the light

They say "love is a verb".
I don't think it is.

It's more a cloud of locusts,
Flying terribly at your door.

i see the flyer at starbucks

"are you caucasian?
without mental health
and drug problems?"

wow
i don’t know the answer to any of these questions
is a jew a caucasian?
is the occasional *****, ****-slamming drunken rampage
a drug problem?
as for mental health
i’m a deadbeat poet and unpopular pop musician
i’ve got a job fighting death and boredom
and i just changed my facebook password to "eat ****"
my frustrations have driven weaker souls to homicide
but are these PROBLEMS?

Bird that chases the wind
Child of wild things
Kid of the forest
Play now with the lost ones
Listen to their song of melody
The song is sung
Far away
Lies
A land of dreams
A land lost to history
Close your eyes
Imagine its trees
Imagine the palace
Painted by dreams
Sing along
Now child wake from your dream

I think I love
with every cell of my being,
with every drop of soul in me,
with every breath that visits my lungs,
with every fingerprint I’ve ever left,
with every laugh that parted my lips,
with every language my tongue pronounces,
with everything, yet I end up with nothing..

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

Under the sky
under the starts
under the fields of flowers
I am everywhere
I am the light
***

Je suis la lumière
Sous le ciel
sous les étoiles
autour des champs de fleurs
je suis partout
Je suis la lumière

Heavy and sleepless
my heart is inert
Tearful and dreamless
my soul is hurt

she was the moon
radiating the night sky
and dancing among the stars

you were the darkness
the shadow that waxed and waned
through the phases of her life

she grew to believe
that your presence
is what made her whole

but like the full moon
she shone brightest
without you


x.

Knuckles white
Heavy chest
Rivers eye
Painful breath

there is another world
we're often unaware exits
and the only time
our minds will open up
and let us see
is when we're dreaming

it consists of rules
and plans
we're unfamiliar with

the customs both confuse us
and make us want for more

there are parallel selves
to every one of us living there
and each time we visit,
we discover something more

the places that I've seen
in all my dreams
are filled with fragments
of universes
multiplied so many times
I cannot count them

but there are bits of beauty I steal from every one of them
and I take what I can get
leftover from you
when your dreams aren't remembered

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Then there is time,
remorseless as Panzers
on the steppe-
killing everything it meets.

There will be no
renegotiation,
the deal is done,
was done so long ago.

All of us
little victims
of the clock.

The fields don't miss the rain
not as much as I miss you
the world still turns it seems
at least I know, that's true

Sun to moon, and back again
one day, it's going to end
but for all the times we had
my heart will never mend

Into the dark that will ensue
carrying your light with me
past the life, departed skin
you and I will
always be

What if
what you're looking
for finds you.

I wish I could love you,
The way you deserve to be loved.