September 27th
You died today
Your life just slipped away
Maybe souls exist and I’ll see you again
Pretty lies we tell ourselves but it’s all pretend
My tethers to this world are growing thin
I often wonder why the say suicides a sin
The world with out you has grown a little grim
I know I need time to grieve
But it’s hard when there’s no time to breath

Rays of sun
   used to
Wake me up
Every    morning
It was really kind of
Annoying
Their light would
Burn my eyes, show me
         The dust in the air
But...

When it was cold, and dark,
And I would cry,
                                 ..try...
               ...to stare at the stars...
Through the thick fog

I longed for that warmth
                       Missed it,
                                          For so long.....


                                      When they returned
                                                       I spent my time getting burned
And pretending I knew
                       What to do...
                                     ...what not to do wrong.

        I closed my eyes,
                                    to escape
                                                   for a second
...because I was second-guessing...
And in the blink of an eye,
                                          the night filled the sky
                                      
                                     My rays of sun were missing.

SUN
CANNOT               ...Besides, DUST is far more          DETAINED
BE                                          Captivating.    

2019 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

My heart is inflammable,
A different type of stable,
But I don't remember any label
Telling you it's playable.

(It's so unbelievable)

i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her on
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like i
need to make her stay cause
she will

They say “know when to quit”
but I haven’t yet

Moving forward into days ahead,
the flesh melts off me
with a velocity I don’t have
but expel anyway

I can still feel
your cheeks
pressed against mine,
your eyes locked on mine,
your heart beat as you
lay on my chest,
your hands caressing
my face,
my heart wanting to burst,
except this time
it's because
you are gone.

come back,
that's all i request

why'd you
have to go


i hate being in love
with someone i
can't have

My grandpa
             Words he gave
                            To me once upon a full moon
“Son” he said
            “When you go into this life”
“Remember, that love is a language “
             “So find, my son, find someone”
                     “Who speaks your language “
      “So you don’t have to translate your soul”
                                   Hmmm.

Am I down the street
Or on the other side of the world?
Keep your eyes open
For a naked-hearted girl

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

Perfection is a characteristic
That is force fed to us
A characteristic we must
Die trying to achieve
But why?

No human before me
Has been perfect
Why do they expect
It to start from me?

I only want two things in this world,
You and your love.
30/9/2020

If a man needs you to believe a lie,
He will often say, "trust me."

If a man needs you to believe the truth,
He will speak it.

I want
to be the one your pen
and paper talk about

I can't seem to finish a poem these days
They are all about you.
Thinking about the message that says

"I
Love
You".

Love. Words. Love.
All we have is words, all we ever had was words, though all we ever have is love.
Was thinking of saying that I loved you calling me golden, but the fact is you never called me at all.
And yet

"I
Love
You".

The idea.
What could have been, what we could have been. What we were. What we are.?

I
Love
You.

Sit with me awhile;
Talk to me.
Tell me everything you would have done
If I was still alive

Sit with me awhile;
Cry with me.
There’s no shame in expressing your emotions
If you’re feeling sad.

Sit with me awhile;
Listen to me.
For even though I’m lying here, silent, remember
What I would have said.

Sit with me awhile;
Just sit with me.
Sometimes you need no words, or tears, or anything
Except my company.

You are taken.
All I want
Unable to have
You are my scarlet letter.
I would pay any price to make it right
To get you back.

The bright light enters into my den
I awake once again
rose petals on the bush push and the flower extends
outside my window and then
the sun begins to ask where have you been my old friend?

Contrite from the night you’ve been a godsend
sans presence problems have stemmed
shadows revel, ambush, and shush odds and ends
applied innuendo with denial from sin
someone that grins from the joy of descend

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

I attend college in an apocalypse
I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist
Paying these grandiose establishments
So they can give me a piece of paper
A modern day participation award

You're not lost, just because you didn't  trust today
I see you here, yet your thoughts are drifting away ...
You rake the leaves, with your bare hands,
You try to see, where your future stands.

You're not lost,  just because you need a break,
I see you smile, while trying to hide your heartache
You collect the dirt, under your fingernails,
As you walk barefoot and cover your trails.

I still see you, underneath the falling leaves,
I hear your voice say "thank you"  and "please"
I see your true smile, glowing in your eyes,
You're the only reason, my soul survives.

For she’s a smouldering flower
That won’t run out of steam
Undeserved, yet too late; she’s already been
Here, loving everything
Here, begging to begin
Again, her being, her exception
Can we write our new chapter?
Here, on the same page we deciphered
Then we’ll risk it all just to peruse
Poems we’ll lay down on empty books

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night

sometimes self care is
polysporin and bandages
tending to the wounds
of your own self destruction

Light devoid, no silver-hued moon,

Shadows claim my soul too soon.

With silence strong, I’m left alone,

With aching bones and heart forlorn.

The cold seeps in, an evil embrace,

My only warmth: his face.

His face.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.