make love to me just like a woman!
kiss me toe to head, and linger on my neck,
trace my waist, begin at my lips, pause at my hips,
quibbles intersperse, quips and licks on eyelids
nibble me, near me, closer unto glorious victorious
near death experience...
whisper me sweet everythings
before during after and over again,
when u must pause to exhale, blow their warmth
upon thy fingers and bring their warmth inside
Columbus me with tongue and eyes,
take me slow then again,
than execute summary judgement
accept my every appeal to god
for heavenly mercy
then adjudge me guilty yet again
and to the tower take me
to drown in mine own lamentations
before thy execute me twice
for a very good and long measure
and so I shall,
do what you beseech,
most excellently seek
but you may recall,
somewhat earlier, I
so you must start my dear,
all the driving instructions you stated,
and bring your GPS,
too wit and sod this!
he gruffingly huffingly, hurrumphingly, replied,
all hell and damnation,
treat me like a woman just once please!"
can't can't can't - she bewitchingly cackled!
and sang to me the lyrical words
of a Nobel Prize winner!
"You fake just like a woman
Yes you do, you make love like a woman
Yes you do, and then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little boy"
Words do not echo.
Words do not cry.
Words do not,
Scrambled and stirred,
Frozen and baked.
Pulled when needed,
Eaten to be fed.
Black or white,
Laugh or fight,
Wrong or right.
A sound is bound by key,
A picture by color pigments,
But words contain,
The same word
Depending who, what, how
When it was read
What if every word,
Was positive in meaning?
Words have no senses.
Words have no bounds.
No touch, sight, taste, or smell.
Words have no sound.
Words have no sound.
Unless read aloud.
I knew i was different because i didn't like make up or dresses
I was different because the boys didn't like me, but i didn't care
different because i like to cuddle with my friends and i thought it was normal
I was searching for words to describe a feeling i wouldn't understand for years to come
but i knew i was different, and it scared me
No matter how hard i tried, i would never be like them
because they blushed when a boy called them pretty,
but i was breathless when they walked by
and they would never know how much i loved them
and neither would i for a few more years
middle school comes and i meet a girl,
curly brown hair and a smile that takes your breath away
and i was scared
because i knew i was different
but i didn't know just how different i was, until she kissed me and i kissed her back
and together we become the one thing our parents had ever fear
We had fallen in love
They wondered about my poise, my grace,
They looked me in my eyes, told me they could never stand in my place,
Grabbed my hands, held me, and told me how much they loved my me,
And how my manner is how they wished to be
Because their heart ached,
But mine too did break.
The words they heard me say on stage,
Were words I wrote after my rage,
And I never even got to bother
With the words in my heart for my father
Because on paper the tears never came
Only numbness did remain.
But I could not bring myself to differ
From the words that I wrote, I felt my body got stiffer,
As I thought about my only feeling
My mind began its reeling
He was here then he was not,
And from that is where my woes are wrought.
I never said the words in my heart
My world was dim, my soul was dark,
Twice, my Lord, I beg of you why
I cursed the heavens, I screamed the sky
Because my heart could take no more
I sank on my knees down to the floor.
I’m sorry daddy, I want to say,
I let my talent rot away,
All my interests are dying or dead
Because I couldn’t get out of my head,
And I know you wouldn’t want me to live like this
But do you know what I miss?
I miss the times we gazed at stars
And you showed me Venus and showed me Mars,
I miss our time spent at the lake
Even though every five seconds I took a talking break,
I miss the jokes you shared with me
I miss the way things used to be.
And I’m so sorry daddy that I wasn’t there,
And I’m sorry I didn’t lay my soul bare
Because I was always too proud to cry
As if it would cause my circuits to fry
Or maybe because I never got over my brother
And then I lost another.
And I hope you know I loved you more
Than I could ever dare to explore.
her salvation is
you wanting her, her not wanting you
She prays to gods with cold hearts
Who have felt the pain that
Creeps in under the doors
her heaven is
a lonely version of you, a full version of her
you sinking, gasping for her
her grabbing at her own throat and remembering what thats like
the ends of her lips used to reek with your kiss
now they curl at your demise
But don’t think her evil
For she too has felt immeasurable amounts
What's the proper etiquette for falling in love?
Is it hushing lips and tripping over lungs?
Is it squinting eyes and falling falling falling in mud?
Because here we go down and down again,
But everyone's doing it, My Lovely Flowery Friend.
If I dive in between your legs,
And find other bodies there,
Does that mean I should run in toxic fear?
Are we supposed to dry out from licking up all these tears?
If I fall into your arms,
While they were open for someone else,
Does that mean we're in love?
Are we supposed to spit on the floor and call it cum?
You said you've done this before,
You said it would be fun,
But when you've got me trying to wring my head dry,
Of all my pretty girl lies,
I become less and less sure if this is love.
Tell me, please tell me,
Is this proper etiquette?
Should I be building mountains out of my bones so you can touch the moon?
Should I constantly carry around these pillows in case someone else makes you swoon?
I don't know what I'm doing,
But you say you do,
So I guess I'll bury my heart so it doesn't get broken by you you you.
Across the lands of what once was home,
over the seas and through spans of time
I did roam.
I searched and searched both far and wide,
with neither a hint of direction nor guess of a clue,
I was lost in the wild with out guide,
not knowing what to do.
So across the skies I flew,
and over rolling hills so plain,
I came across a little hiding place,
where my wandering thoughts did entertain.
I came upon a camp,
with creatures scattering this way and that,
to find such a hidden wonder,
on a land so plain and flat.
My friends, my family, my comrades in arms did they all,
arranged themselves into rank and file
at the mention of the call.
There they are.
There they stand
so proud and tall
I remember them now
I remember them all.
Their lives all well lived
some more than others they might say
but I remember them still
who they are to this day.
Brighter than stars
they shined in this world
brighter than stars
did their lives unfurled.
They twinkled so brightly
be it day or nightly.
Playful and carefree
that was how it used to be.
when it was.
But no longer are they.
the world isn't as it used to be.
We knew there had to come a day.
Reality took hold
and reared its ugly head.
One by one
Death came by and choked out their lives
and the stars I used to look up in wonder...
are all dead.
Now by the flicker of a candle
they all hold in mourning
in these ancient halls
and faded painted walls
are memories in want of restoring.
Brighter than stars
they used to be
brighter than stars
they shined so brightly.
Thank people for sharing their thoughts with you.
Giving voice to those jumbled lines inside the mind is one of the most precious gifts a person can offer.
"A penny for your thoughts."
As if a monetary value could be placed on those silent ideas that so rarely escape the confines of their prison.
Those seemingly unimportant thoughts are sacred.
When a person shares aloud their inner dialogue, they are speaking less of their ideas and more of their trust in you.
Thank people for sharing their thoughts with you.
I love listening to that song,
because it reminds me of you.
I love it when it rains,
because I know you love it, too
I love the stars,
because they remind me of your eyes.
I love the ocean,
because it reminds me of your smile.
You hate that song,
because it reminds you of me.
You hate it when it rains,
because you know I love it, too
You hate the stars
because they remind you of my eyes
You hate the ocean
because it reminds you of my smile
I know objects
Can't truly make people happy
I want to give you the world.
Hold your hand and say
"Baby, you can have whatever you'd like"
Whether it be your favorite lipstick,
Or the moon,
Find my way to the nearest Sephora,
Buy you red velvet from Lime Crime,
And then build a rocket ship
So I can bring you back her cratered Majesty
Pick up a tiara on the way so that you Can be my Majesty, too.
See I know that you don't have to
Own the Moon,
Or wear a crown to be Royalty
Will treat you like a Queen every day,
Never let you forget the role you play in my mind
And My pulse
Every beat getting stronger as you step closer
won't you let me give you the universe
A galaxy of beauty lying in your eyes alone
Teeth like stars lighting up the night sky as you begin to laugh.
Yearn to make you laugh
I'm starting to feel like in stuck in the middle of Wisconsin,
But even the middle of nowhere sounds like a nice place to be as long as I'm with you.
As long as its just us two,
And the moon.
I'm tired and always cold
Almost finished a family size box of Cheerios...food comas.
Lack of motivation because it's so gloomy and cold outside.
So, it seems like a better idea to stay in my warm solitude, rather than being productive and having a life.
But this too shall pass shortly,
It's just depression seasonally.
you will salty say
to wound and to love
cause ain't no difference now
the innocuous poison of
how ya doing ,
slipping in a quick first base pickoff tag,
you know me too well
don't have the courage to lie or ask you the same
being in love no more, I'm just a salt pillar gazing,
my salty tears just add to my body's mass
"We are books.
Most people will judge us on our covers.
Some people will read us just to kill their time,
not to understand the content.
Some people will read us until the end of page,
but then throw us away;
to be forgotten in the dusty box.
Only few people will keep us as treasure,
appreciate every character every word every story,
and love us with their souls
with no time limit."
I have been, I am and I will be documenting the complexities that run rampant within.
It’d be easier if my mind and heart spoke
the same language. Most times they’re in conflict.
So I’ll cope in the best way I know how.
I’ll keep posting...
Because no amount of sentences...
Can succinctly form the verses that fully capture what I see and think.
No amount of metaphors...
Can successfully mask and satisfy what I truly feel.
No amount of poems...
Can accurately draft the blueprint of what and why I am.
Do forgive me for I have fallen far and deep. And for the umpteenth time, I am looking for that window or door so that I could see and taste purpose again.
So please bear with me...
There will be more to come as I indulge in my quest for equilibrium.
Yours in ink,
The things you'll think will always stay
Will always seem to fade away.
Whether you're like Joyce and you talk to the lights,
Or you're like Mike,
and you just have to fight.
You can't avoid the guaranteed,
you can not make miracles.
The spirits and creatures are against you,
And you'll just make yourselves criminals.
My friend is to move away,
It is a miserable day.
She's going to disappear like Will,
Leaving me here to stay.
I've just gotta remember
Be brave like Nancy,
Ask for help like Will,
Use my mind like Eleven,
and just CHILL.
The things you think will always stay
Will always seem to fade away.
Can't call 911 for this,
I can't save you this time.
Open the curtains for the first time in ages.
The walls weep,
dripping yellow-brown nicotine,
crying brown tears for you.
Carpet stained spots of brown black blood,
a macabre Jackson Pollock.
Stained, sweat-soaked sheets smell,
the stench of withdrawal and agony.
Piss and mold growing on the toilet,
like tiny bonsai trees.
The sun catches your face,
lightly touching a cheek-bone,
saying goodbye in it's own way.
Hazel eyes wide open,
a sort of painful grimace.
I want to clean it all away.
I want to scrub every wall,
Bleach it all white.
Pull the knob across a giant etch-a-sketch of the scene.
And when it's clean,
When all of it is finally clean...
I will cover every wall like a canvas, with every note you ever left me.
Top to bottom,
wall to wall,
I will paint your words.
When I was away too long and you missed me,
when you wanted to cheer me up,
Or when you just wanted to say,
"I love you".
run away from her.
She's here and I can't stop shaking.
I hold my breath,
my heart is thumping,
sweat is pouring down onto the grass.
Waiting for my death,
I shiver in despair.
I see her shade,
I see her stare,
I see her smile.
pitch black eyes,
my mind fades black.
Take two steps back
In a forward motion
How does it feel?
Spin yourself without pivoting
Close your eyes when the wind becomes too much
Breathe in your nose
Out your mouth
Kiss on the exhale
Of course TruLove never fades
of course its okay to feel things worth filling
Love lives in honest hearts forever
Warnings are lies that lead us into fear not away from danger
When is a good time to call 911?
When its just enough time to save something
When it's too late to save anything
Just call...Someone's going to answer
Meet me in my emotional depths,
And settle with me among the waves,
For I can get lost there sometimes,
And not come back for days and days.
But if you cannot meet me there,
Do not drag me into the shallows,
And dismiss my ocean of passion,
Because you can’t handle the shadows.
It can be dark and, oh, so cold,
But only on my darkest days.
It’s clean and pure and true,
Whether or not you understand my ways.
My depths are real and here to stay.
My depths are part of me,
So you cannot tread the deep,
You had better leave the sea.
If you choose to stay on shore,
While I am swimming in the surge,
Then be prepared to say goodbye,
For I don’t dwell amongst the verge.
It’s all or nothing, sink or swim,
But the shallows are not for me,
So come and meet me in my depths,
Or walk away from this empath sea.
Before the dawn, when I wake up
You're sound asleep, got no makeup
I look at you, I always do
You've got it all, but you've got no clue
Your quietness and mystery
And your unspoken history
Your calm demeanor, golden voice
A level head above the noise
Always on point, there's no excess
The words you say, the way you dress
No awkward move, no big disgrace
You've got all that and a pretty face
Your worst is better than my best
And if I could make one request
Don't smile at me, 'cause when you do
It breaks my heart and makes me blue
Don't want to hate you, never will
You do no wrong, yet hurt me still
You're everything he wants, you see
And all I ever want to be.
in the quiet of stillness
I can hear a snowflake
upon my cheek
a flurry of gossamer
frozen lace lilts ~
of chilling silence
into a wilderness symphony
a child yearning for their parent’s touch, flinching at the grasp of anyone else’s
never introduced to kindness nor stability --- a child will seek comfort in forms outside human possibility
the bottom of a bottle, the inscription on a pill, the smoke of a substance
people never wanted a child and the child does not need people
Ruled pages filled with scribble
Sentence fragments at best
Scattered about haphazardly
Tonight's inspiration; feelings repressed
Bravery and strength projected
Unable to piece them together
Rising from the ashes: Winning the war
Is this really how courage is measured
I could write about how tough I am
All the times that I've pulled through
I could share with you my suffering
All all the times I've come unglued
I could line these pages with determination
A warrior, I've already proven
I could tell you how fearless I am
But that would only be an illusion
I'm rearranging all these letters
The words now flowing freely from my heart
I'm facing all of my demons and fears
That - is how you make beautiful art
i want my poems to have teeth.
i want my words to cut,
to maim, to bleed.
with verses, i will raze
empires. with stanzas,
i will turn thrones to dust.
with nothing but a bit
of silver on my tongue,
i will take the life of god.
i’ll ply that same organ
like honey, taste the sweet
between knocking knees.
quake and quiver for me,
let me slip, furtive
to sate your curiosity.
feel the weight of veracity
in these fingers patiently
transcribing forgotten melodies,
compressing ivory keys
to sing of all that was lost
and what was gained
from the process.
No, He said.
I want you
I want to taste the miracle of your desperation,
lick the sweet sweat of tense from the hairline well hid
on the back of your pleasuring neck.
I need your needing constant completion,
but not succeeding.
The airborne aroma of your desires are fiery, arousing,
stimulus sensating me by the unending beauty of dissatisfaction,
this virus desirous, infection, makes my perpetual wanting
for a incomplete perfect woman,
the flower is wilting, bending
falling under the weight of the world
it's breaking, crumbling,
but it's forgotten as its tread on
perhaps they didn't see it,
perhaps they didn't care,
but the flower is dying,
waiting for the final petal
to fall and claim its life
it really hurts that you could do something;
something so cruel.
leaving me breathless and hopeless.
all i did was care.
all you did was lie.
they're all lies.
why did i believe you?
the idea that someone could care
so deeply for someone like me,
i should have known
you were like all the others.
but i prayed.
i prayed you weren't.
then you let me down with your
I want to lie in my bed
And never wake up again
These voices in my head
Talk but never listen
I feel my body shiver
From all the screams I hold inside
There’s no more motivation
But I want to live, not just survive
I can sense the tears he cries
And feel the pain he tries biting down
I’m powerless to help him
So I cry too and watch him drown
He’s everything I am inside
And as he suffers from the pain
I’m too cowardly to tell him
That I am just the same
Does he feel the same electric pulse?
Does he also want to die?
Does he close his door at night
So that no one sees him cry?
He won’t admit to anyone
He thinks he hides it well
Maybe I am just like him
Maybe everyone can tell
poems are not all
we have to piss
in the bathroom
sink of beauty
to find out how
repulsive it can be
I find the soap scum
of the shower drain
to be more enriched
with adorning features
than the palm trees
and all forms of it
you could never
take that away,
I miss you
And you aren’t even gone yet
I know how this will end
One day you will find someone new
Meet someone funnier; prettier
You’ll slowly slip away
All while denying anything is wrong
When you look into her eyes
You will see a future
When you look in my eyes
You see lust and desire
There is no future for us here
so why do I let myself fall in love anyway?