Misty, painting in shades of gray and dull blue
as the sky darkens before my eyes and
the delightful cold envelops me.
Or at least it would have been delightful if I had been prepared.
But isn't that the fun part,
rolling along with the unexpected like the fog and mist?

I was born transparent
You can see all my colors
Embroidered on my face
Written with bold body language

These days I am clearly blue in discomfort
My edges are yellow in distrust
And I can't hide any of it
When I sigh, my rib cage dusts grey

if feeling could write,

if emotions could paint,

we'd all be drowning

in acrylic and ink

God she is so thin  
Embraced her darkest sin
She's fading in perfection
And losing her perseption

God she is just skin
Tried to fight the demons from within
But eventually let them win
She's fading into darkness
Can't remember where her heart is

a crunchy-looking evergreen
glitters beyond the buttery sun
melting onto dense white halls,
an angel’s resting place

my breath melds with the clouds
together we drift silently
in these times,
punctuated by the early sunset

Perhaps rules really were
Meant to be broken
Checkpoints, goals, objectives
You’re developed, you’re grown
When you’ve learned the secret
That rules weren’t intended to be followed
Not precisely, for certain
Everyone at some point must learn
To bend the rules

So... what does that make me?
The respecter of rules.
I did everything you asked
I took all the precautions
Memorized the guidelines
Never broke a rule

Am I... am I to be broken in their place?

There is a sweet familiarity with you
I know your hands and your face
I’ve seen them change as we age

If I close my eyes I can hear your voice
I know your words and how you say my name

There is a deep intimacy there
A long romance full of heartbreaks and highs

I miss the version of us that got along

I pretend to laugh
Even when I want to cry
I pretend to live
Even when I want to die

I pretend that I'm in control
Even when I'm not
I pretend to move forward
Even when I know I've stopped

I pretend to believe there's hope
Even when I'm not so sure
I pretend that the medicine is helping
Even when I know there is no cure

I pretend that I'm getting better
Even when I know its not true
I pretend that isn't real
Even when I know that I do

i force my eyes open
only for them to meet the white ceiling
staring back, as the light from the soundless
tv changed the white to pink,
the pink to red,
and the red to black,
making my bedroom as dark as i felt inside.
i can’t bring myself to move a limb,
because i know that if i did,
it’d make it all real.
i’m still here.
maybe if i laid there long enough,
i’d sink into the endless slumber
that i was supposed to fall into to begin with.
the colors dancing on my ceiling
called me a failure
over
          and
                    over
         ­                     and
                                        ­over
again until i shut my eyes,
and the only thing staring
back at me were the words
‘failed attempt’
in bold, bright lettering.

Time called me a *****,
And walked away
nonchalantly.

and just like that,
my girlfriend became
an acquaintance that
shares equal feelings
for me as i do for her.

What a rotten time to fall in love.
When I'm on the brink of tragedy,
On the edge of something so insurmountable that
I can't even contain it in both outstretched, weak, aching arms.
When I'm so close to the capstone of calamity that I can taste
The wreck on my tongue as it rains down my face.
I'm a goner.
The cataclysm that all good poetry is known for-
I am drowning on the words before they reach you-
I asphyxiate on the dark after you fall asleep.
Steady, lulled into a composition of notes and gasps.
I wonder if you know what I'm thinking about
When you wrap your hand around my throat.
I want to be the kind of person that your love deserves.
I just want to be the kind of person who isn't dripping with
Grief.
I'll find a sermon in every word you speak,
I'll chant it like prayer,
With my hands clasped to my chest in some
Frenzied, violent attempt to swear to God.
There is no reply.
Just your hand on my skin-
Less like touch and more like collision.
Please, stay. I'm begging now. I'm on my knees.
How do I look?
Do I look as pathetic as I feel?
I sink into the sadness but you're still holding my hand.
I don't speak, I overflow.
I don't love, I anesthetize.
I am destroying myself and you won't turn your head away.
Like a car crash. Like a collision. Like your hand around my throat.
I am paralyzed with a fear that God can't hear me.
"I love you" and I suffocate on the silence.
"I love you" and I choke on the apology that follows.
"I love you" and I am so sorry.
“I love you, too.” and I take my first breath.

At the art of nagging she will excel;
With her – heaven is earth and earth is hell.
Much in quantity, I venture to tell,
Is her absurdity – enough to sell.

Quick to censure, quick to chide,
As a teacher, than to guide;
A loud voice her single pride,
Both to condemn and deride.

I might’ve inhaled her scent
when we were making our
soon to be last goodbyes

Her scent filled my lungs
So I held my breath
and counted to ten

Countless tens,
I lost track

Suffocated,
I inhaled the smoke

Broken,
I buried what she felt like

Abandoned,
I exhaled her out of me

When breathing felt
the same as drowning—

and I’ve drowned myself once

—I gasped for her scent
with each breath I took

I am not sad
I am not sad
I am not sad
The darkness keeps
Eating away at the remnants
Of the pleasant facade
That I built for myself
But I am not sad
Until I am returned to
The Earth from which
I was born
I will refuse to make
The inconvenience
Of my sadness drag
Me into a pit of darkness
I am not sad
I am not sad
I am not sad
I am not
sad

As beautiful as you think falling in love is,
Sometimes you're not meant for each other.
And that's okay.
I hope you can remember your kind heart.
Your soul is beautiful,
So don't let anyone take that away.

remember to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever

compare yourself

a wave takes its form
yet never with pattern
movement maintained
as water continues to exist
generally insignificant
but looking closer,
how beautiful it is anyway

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm empty
Because I don't have you.

She is soil,
earth and pure.
I run her through my hands
and she falls
through my fingers.

Once upon a time
Everything was fine,
Once upon a time,
Once upon a time.

My love for you grows in dark places.
It needs no sun or smiling faces.
It needs no water, earth or heavenly graces.
It sees no creed, tribe or races

It was planted there long ago,
With pain, it was seeded down below.
It was nourished with tears of sorrow,
And buried deep within its borrow.

Today it's shoots exposed their blooms.
I picked them for you and brightened my tomb.
Today it took flight and revealed its plumes
Leaving behind a worn out, beaten womb.

Its all in my love for you.
Good, bad, there is fear too.
But with you it will accrue
Into the kind of love I feel for you.

Heart in Palm
You have taken my heart in your palm
What a magical act my beloved it was
My love your love was innocently calm
Now please read me clause by clause

Love is what takes place at first sight
Then through out life it remains oscillating
Its sincerity and devotion make bright
It gives wings in romantic spring to swing

Its intensity makes lover but just insane
So please take care not to throw in exile
Lovers say it is a real conflict in the brain
Distance remains constant mile and mile

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan

No, it's not so easy.
if it were I would have
called you back already.
okay?

Let's eat good food together,
Forget about getting fat.
You actually look a thousand times cuter,
If you stretch your chubby cheeks like that.

You know it doesn't matter to me
If you are not skinny like the others
All I want is to see you happy
Even if you are now having your 4th burger.

Because the earth’s round
Doesn’t mean it’s  having a ball.

Because waves crash
Doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control.

Because the sea is deep
Doesn’t mean that it’s thoughtful

Because land meets the sea
Doesn’t mean that they agree

Because you float my boat
Doesn’t make me the captain.

the problem is
i care
too much
about
not caring

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

[If you called to pick apart everything I say]

I didn't call to deconstruct
Plagiarize or pretend
The daily tone is easier
A very mild

Bl end

Sometimes I stutter
It's enough to want to speak
Eye contact is another

[Okay]