Hypocrisy is its own critique.

I sit alone up here,
alone with all my fear.
I have no place to go
heavy winds decide to blow.
I can't face them,
the shadows of my mind
I won't face them,
I would rather hide.

I sit alone in a white room,
alone with misery.
we'd no longer be alone
if you give us your company.
this room is bland
like my thoughts
decorations nonexistent,
like my smile.

I guess I'll be here,
For a while.

like the face
its expression changes

mostly
on a dime

reacting
to the moment

a decision at the
snap

is it fight
or is it flight

Whit Howland © 2020

It might be said:

That is why they do not like me;
I do not speak much,
And when I do, my voice protrudes
Beyond their desire.
I do not speak of myself,
But if I were to do so, they
Would assume I relish the epiphany of egotism.

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

twenty one
between an adolescent and an adult
a pretty number, don't you think?

twenty one
two decades of breathing and screaming
one year of confusion and uncertainty

twenty one
too young to handle; too old to let go
what they want us to do though?

twenty one; it's hard
expectations and desires fought inside
one foul step, and you fall in despair

If I could
I'd take your smile
put it away until times weren't kind
I'd add it to the wink you left behind
That would carry me through most anything.

If I could
I'd preserve your kiss
Keep it safe until times of loneliness
Reminds me distance keeps you from me
I'd open the lid and let the touch
Carry me to you

I wish there was an eighth day every week,
crammed in between any of the real two,
that I could slip in and out of
If I wanted to.

I wish there was an eighth day every week,
when the world halted completely,
So that I wasn’t compelled to be anybody
except for Me.

A good friend would say
"its ok
you silly bat

You wanted something badly,
and you went for it... there's
nothing shameful in that

You are so cute and forward
you are so full
of suprises; I know
you suprise yourself

I have always longed for days when I will dance in the rain
Days when I feel cold but less pain
I have longed to feel the drops of falling waters on my skin
The smells of dropping water at dry sand
I love to watch the sun as it sets and and feel the moon as it glows
The ocean waves as it flows
The morning birds in thier glory

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

The beauty of
a broken heart
That doesnt need
to be healed

Babe!
Who’s your favorite?
Oh we’re playing favorites...
Am I your favorite?
Yes  I do
You guessed it,
Missing you
Yes it’s true
All because I know I...
Seen what you been threw
I seen But I love to
All I know
Is
You

There once was a man with large toes
He also wore very fine hose
His socks were grand
tho' an off name brand
A company called Socks for Schmoes

My life writes itself anew
when I'm with him
everything becomes a
source of wonder

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night

"write a poem,"

Sylvia Plath commanded summer before last.
Her voice in all places I looked.
Avoided and silenced letters
Crawled in front of my mind and knocked on my skull:
A polite entry into their society with a family,
Other words in Gregorian chant:
You cannot undo insanity in the third decade.

I tell the others, the eyes around me, that these words
Feel like birth announced just now,
With no time to prepare or plan, to nest and caress
The down feathery face, or kiss his tiny mouth.

A poem emerges with a scream,
Bony hands encircling my throat and pushing
Into formation. The existence of new words--
Always the ones in the language before,
Though in this birth the roots twist under the tree.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Not everything needs a poem
Sometimes
it’s already

good enough.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

People always fell in love...
No one rises to love,
Cause when you're down... feeling low,
With darkness around deep and shallow,
Love won't demand your last breath,
It'll help you not to be afraid.
It won't demand you to rise for it,
It'll help you rise, smiling along your soul.
Just you won't ever feel alone.
But when it leaves, and you perceive its significance,
When you took it for granted...
Instead of realizing that it mattered.
It just leaves you broken....
With your soul frightened and shattered.

scared to dig too deep into myself

- erased

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Little Raven can't fly;
Locked up in a cage full of thorns and cypress vines.
Even if little Raven tries;
Its heart will eventually die.
Its soul will also cry;
And that would be a goodbye.