fractals of hearts
.
.
.
shape it's temperament
.
.
beat to it's truth
.
.
.
you believe again
.
.
the story of you

nothing compares to a breath of fresh air, although i can only feel it in dreams,
for my reality is filled with despair.
i wish i could see you
my love,
know you
my love,
but you too can only be found
while i wander the oniric expanses of my mind
as flimsy as the air i seek
and needed as such
forever out of reach and
never mine to keep

Green violins and caramel wings
My heart shivers as the cricket call
For his love in midnight wings.

The cold moon sings a silver anthem
In tune with the cricket's howl
For his love who's writing this poem.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

my Father sits
in a dark corner
of the room
and smiles

he tells me
the dead
know the stars

that I have paid
for my journey

and he has brought
flowers for my eyes

Recent evaluations
Evolution
All systems in order
Yet still revolution
Solutions ****** me
Reducing intake
Introduce me to ruin
As critics partake
In my processor fails
To retain
What the day’s
Most essential details
At the time
Seem important
But vanish in stress
Nonetheless,
What I make
Or what happens to face my
Circuitous break
With the linear
Rapid progression
Upgrade
As sobriety renders me
Solemn and staid
To refrain
Or indulge
In the dizziness of
Freedom comes to fruition
Within lack of love

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

i remember
your favorite
flower.
do you
remember
my name?

I love the way you do not love me.
But I hate the way you go and never tell me that you always love me by your side.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

Kebebasan.
Semua orang mencarinya.
Tapi, apa kebebasan yang kita inginkan benar-benar ada?
Sesuatu yang ingin kita lakukan tentu memiliki batasnya, kan?
Tidak semua hal yang ingin kita lakukan bisa terjadi.
Jadi, apa definisi kebebasan itu?
Kenapa semua orang mencarinya?

Ini mengingatkanku kepada seorang kenalan, yang sangat bebas. Aku sangat kagum padanya. Dia selalu melakukan apapun yang dia inginkan, dia orang yang sangat ceria dan tidak takut dengan apapun dan siapapun. Saat ini, dia sedang mencari kebebasannya. Dia juga orang yang mengajariku agar hidup tanpa penyelesaian.

Untuk melihat "dia" mencapai kebebasan tersebut, tentu aku harus tetap hidup dan mencari kebebasanku sendiri, kan?

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

Now I have never kissed you before

But I have imagined it.
What it might feel like
Or what you might do

Some people say it’s magical
But do you think that’s true?

Because my Father says it’s like a raindrop,
Now I don’t understand that too

But he’s had a lot more experience than me
If I had to guess what he meant
I would say it’s soft,
Welcoming,
And sends a chill down your spine,
Is a little uncomfortable at first
But in the end, it will be just fine.

If this is true, then it’s not how it feels that makes it magical
It’s the fact I’ll be doing it with you.

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

when I die
do not burn me
or bury me inside the ground
instead cover me in ink
and surround me with papers

- a poet never dies

The lights are sharp but dim
The music loud but soothing
I escape to the darkness inside
To yesterday and the day before
I escape to her
She was mine but a memory ago
I smell her perfume
She moves like an enchantress
Her body hypnotic
I smell her sweat
I want a taste
Her eyes glow in the dark
They hide a darkness
She dances to forget
I watch her to remember
I’m not good enough anymore
I creep her out
At least that’s what it feels like
I watch her from the shadows
Pretend she doesn’t make me quiver
Pretend I don’t worship her at night
Every perfect piece of her
Her perfect everything
Perfect for me
I wanna do it like they do in the movies
Covered in sweat and candle wax
Surrounded by music
There’s plenty of other women I want
She’s just at the top of the list
She’s dangerous and crazy
She’s broken like me
My muse for my ***** thoughts
But she doesn’t want to come back
She’s not ready to feel again
I fear I’m the only one crazy enough to try
So I have to play along
And not let it tear me apart
Easier said than done
Easier had than loved.

Check message
Facebook
Check message
Instagram
Check message
Send message
Wait
Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Let's have a worldwide election for Peace on Earth forever! We're all Citizens of the Earth. Why not let everyone on Earth vote at the same time for the way she or he want the world to be. We already have the technology to do this. Do we collectively want world peace? Do we want to exercise our natural right to determine our own future? How many of you would vote for War--any kind of War, even World War III--that would destroy Earth and all living creation on it? Or would you prefer a world of equality, of kindness, of love? Would you prefer a world of letting everyone do her or his own thing, but do nothing that would cause harm to anyone else? All equals. No class system. No deprivation of food, good housing, great education, total freedom of religion (but no attempts to try to convert others). Citizens of Earth--all 8 billion of us--would be the government of Earth. There would be no president of Earth. Citizens of Earth would send their ideas and submissions to members of the General Assembly (around 200 elected for one five-year term by Citizens of Earth from districts that formerly were nations) who then would form them into proposals to be voted on by Citizens of Earth during the last two weeks of every month. Everyone worldwide would have access to smart phones (with one's own personal ID #). No more nations. No more borders (the world's air and water don't give a **** about them! Nor does the pandemic, with all it variants). We shall come to delight in our differences. We shall come to celebrate the variegated colors of skin, the different cultures, the different customs, languages, foods. No more aggrandizement, no more profiteering, no more money. No more wars, no more killings, no more *** trafficking. No more corruption, no more dictators, no more weapons of any kind. Just love and Peace on Earth forever. It's utterly doable! Think about it. Talk to your family about it. Talk to your friends about it. Talk to strangers on the street about it. It's our world, after all. Let's have an election and create a world in which we all can live without fear. Peace on Earth forever.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I am in love with a girl.
And she smells like Sunday.

The number of worlds that exist
Just inside my mind
Is enough for someone to insist
That there is a mistake in my design.

They stir and they shake,
Yet nothing can compare
To when you smile for my sake
Or run a hand through your hair.

When I'm with you I feel
As if I'm in the imaginary;
I forget that it's real,
Not crafted by the words in me.

It's only when I think back,
When I am trying to sleep,
That I remember it's not mind crack;
That I might be in too deep.

you write
poetry on the
wind
and expect me
to read