death has entered my dreams again.

Surely I would know it
If there were any truth to this
The senses, yet, are treacherous
And mostly so’s the wit

Clearly I can see it
Awoken from reality
Plugged into a conscience
That feeds on mere deceit

Truly I’ll believe it
When intuition strikes
The mirrors running liquid
Through my mind

Freely, I would will it
Convinced by logic’s myth
But ignorance is willfulness
And indifference is bliss

bright eyes,
your words sparkled
with the same light,
but even empty things
shine if you look
at them just right.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

I think I knew you in my past life
I think you were my guardian angel

And I feel like now it’s my turn
to be looking out, and I would do anything to protect you

We’re not so close
but you mean the world to me
and I would do anything it takes

And what I mean by that is
if it meant keeping you well

I would tear the
pulsing parasites, the
disgusting
brown fleas from your fur

even if you just came to me for that

even if you didn’t have time to talk after

even if your fur was held together mostly by filth

even if my teeth were neon yellow and rotting and it burned each time the top row met the bottom

even if your coat was as long and unwiedly as the matted hair of a rotting corpse steeped in mud on a heatstroke inducing day in the wilderness

and yes, even if you didn’t need it that badly.

waiting for the storm to hit
feels like burning yourself
you don’t notice the pain
until there’s contact

you just have to wait it out
and trust the process

If you held a mirror to the sky,
captured all the stars
The way they dance in the darkness
Reflect the immensity of the Moon
and the way it shines so bright
A celestial beauty to be adored,
nothing more stunning to be captured

Is it true what they say,
I was born in this world
to do the work in
endless ways.

You're 1,700 miles away from me.

You expect me to stay when you don't even try.

I always feel like I'm on the verge of going under, like the waves in the sea.

Your love is intoxicating, addicting... you're a drug.

You're the nicotine in my cigarettes, the blood that keeps my heart pumping.

I'm unsure how to proceed, I'm scared even...

I wish we could just go back to the way it used to be.

she accepted people’s bad behavior,
because she thought,
they went through  difficult things.
yet, she invalidated her own feelings,
even if she knew what she went through.

you get tall when you think of me
in yours arms

i still
do not know
the poem i've been trying to write
and maybe
that's because
i haven't been
writing one at all
or maybe it's because
the poem i've been trying to write
is not ready for paper
and maybe
i'm the paper
that's not ready for it

I spend too many nights thinking
Wondering, writing, dreaming
Of someone who doesn't even think of me

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

I feel you
Missing me
Are you?
It's okay
The question is rhetorical
You don't have to answer

Have you ever felt the silence?
The silence that drags you down,
into to the dark void where everything feels... empty.

The emptiness makes you gasp for air and wish you could turn off your mind.

I am afraid of change -
it's so relative, so hard to prepare for.
I might like it better if it came less frequently,
if it waited just a day more so I could enjoy myself in the thicket of catkins.
Or gave me a notice so that I'd know it would be goodbye.

Spring comes again next year, I know this. But too fast we move on from the mourning of Winter. Slow your sunshine, pull the winds back, give me one last song of sorrow before you forget about her and move on.

Like we always do, always moving on, leaving it in the dust.
Take a breath first so I can at least let it go.

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

A flower tree
shivering from the cold

Can you give
Warm water.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

I thought it was supposed to get better
but instead

it just keeps getting worse

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

The Little King,
Who ruled here for thirteen years,
Now reigns in the undiscovered country.
Restrictions keep him in the freezer,
Where he's
Lying in steak.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

TIME, LOVE, MONEY, SHINE

Time
Fine
Mine
Dime

Time, for love,
Fine, for time,
Mine, you are fine,
A dime, to have you as mine,
A dime, to ear in your growth to shine,
Shine, as there is always a new tomorrow.

© By HF-Whisper
9/12/2020 22: 03PM