the day blinks,
the sunset stinks,
the rhyming is de-fining,
is this how low you’ll go?
to get their blood hot, earn
their likes and hearts, a lot

your personal side slides,
means you don’t need to
repent, nyet, been sentenced-sent
to the zone of indeterminacy

the day blinks, somewhere
tween day dying time and
maybe nighttime resurrection

unless you been there,
you missed it when,
the day blinks, then all
souls, sinners and saints,
sneaky snuck out, went forced

marching into the zone of indeterminacy

It's November, I feel the war is almost over,
Poland will find peace again. But the war has taken me,
for I only feel the blackness of sorrow,
all of my strength is falling apart.

Oh, my spirit is falling, falling like the purple sunset,
My beloved,  
   I'm fading in the cradle of your prayers
All my soul is hungry for strength,
   the sweat under my side
and the thorns of confusion and heaviness
are only growing stronger.

Keep me awake, dear.
   Tell me about when we met,  when you
smiled with curiosity  when you first saw me.
  Tell me about the time when we hid and laughed
behind the schoolyard,
   right by the flower fields where we played hide and seek.
The time when our souls  only sung with power and laughter.

Now beneath our old house, our home, I can't hide anymore.
I can't hide the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, but I do know
the flames of grace burns over and over, so don't you cry.
The psalms we use to sing, they also heal, yes, they also heal.

So remember me,

   and the star I gave you, for then I'll be with you,  

near the altar of your heart,
by the silver rivers of memories and love, because then

I'll always be your hero and heart,
your wildfire within.

Bit by bit you blew on my trust like a dandelion.
Pieces broken off and taken away by the soft flowing wind to an unknown destination.

I look at the moon and think of you.

Forget me,
I ask you.
I forgot my smile,
I forgot my laugh.
I forgot me as a child,
I forgot my wrath.
For I have forgotten myself.
So don’t try and think that I am near
I won’t be here
And go away,
Once I fade,
Forget my wrath,
Forget me as a child.
Forget my laugh,
Forget my smile.
I ask you,
Forget me.

mankind
kindergarten
tension

I'm afraid if I stay,
I may never leave.

the sun shines, granting the world its soft warmth
songbirds greet this gift with notes of love
buzzards coast on warm air currents, circling those below
squirrels dance across tree branches on valiant quests for acorns
and here I am
sitting.
waiting.
wishing.
as the world around me changes
these things that have been the same for ages
continue never changing

Sweet fae doll,
dressed up in all soft perfume and glitter
to make you look alive.
Like a dragonfly on a downwards spiral,
or a sheen of blood on a white marble floor,
the glitter in the corners of your eyes shines.

I wear sweet absinthe on my lips
and dark rings under my eyes
and I wonder- do you ever look like me too?
Do you ever cry at night?
Is your radiance merely an illusion
to be robbed by the moon?

Do you not exist until someone sees you,
little quantum illusion?
I wish, I wish, I wish
my face would crystallize and shine
and the resonance deep within
would be forgotten under shadows.

I want you to take me away from here
Take me to a land of fantasy
Of magic and elves
Of farmers and mages.

I don't have to be the hero
I could be a bystander
But I want to live happily
In a world far from here.

Wake up,

hide the tears,

put on the smile,

ignore the weight of depression,

cheer others up,

act silly,

come home,

cry,

repeat.

I stopped writing

For awhile.

Because I found that when I write
It’s so real.
It’s like hearing back my own words from the lips of someone wiser

Not from a broken child,
But from a bitter miser.

Please don't hesitate,
all I want is to
close my eyes and dream

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

In dreams, it seems
That sky latches to the earth
When in morning's thought,
Branches outward toward rebirth

An idea is loosened,
While untold stories are shared,
A naked conscious once stowed,
And troubles told, now lay bare

As the day, the shade waves
As a blink, your hand in mine,
The dream's shied is stronger
Like an intense kiss wrapped in time

Until the next eves reserve,
For new stories yet to come
Always
In dreams, it seems

How do I supposed to tell you that I missed you when you refused to know?

twenty dollars is not worth a life.

they won’t miss me
she whispers as she pours
another pill in her hand

they won’t miss me
he mutters as he ties the
knot of the rope that will
be his end

they won’t miss me
she laughs ironically as
she loads the gun

they won’t miss me
he sighs as he picks up
the knife

i wish it didn’t have to be like this
they all cry

but now
it’s too late
the pills gone
the rope knotted
the gun loaded
and
the knife stained.

We bask in winter’s glow;

watching the snow fall,
each white droplet filled
with the ability to heal

we drink hot, sweet tea
from steaming, striped mugs
each sip burning our tongue and eroding the bitter taste of last night’s arguments

Spring will come,
and the world will be reborn,
and our love reborn, too

but for now, we don’t need the sun

when the chill cleanses us of our harsh words, and the snow erodes our mistakes

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

I have kissed boys

Girls

People in between

But lately I have been kissing bottles

Their lips are colder than yours

But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest

Yet as these toxins rush through my veins

I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin

Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me

But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin

While heartache

Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know

She, is that flower unopened,
in quieter moments,
she washes him clean,
a theme behind secrets
unspoken,
not of ether, nor clay,
but of somewhere between.

He, with his pallid complexion,
loves nothing of Earth,
even less of the air,
for all that are given
direction,
are places or houses
that she cannot share...

Tonight,
Sleep is almost as elusive as you

It's time for a name
Not to be just another 'name'

To anyone who lost a life
You didn't die in vain

Colour doesn't matter
Inside we're all the same

It's time to stop the suffering
It's time to stop the pain

And over time,
My pen stopped bleeding
But my heart didn't

I give myself to you
I submit
For in my pain
I can do nothing but surrender
Cure me
Destroy me
My eyes are welcoming
They aren’t afraid
For they shine like you
They are part of you
I am part of you

Slit the veins of truth,
see all of our ugliness
spill from this society.

That stole my youth,
as my eyes slowly filled
with fear and anxiety.

Please end all of this grief
and let's show loveliness,
maybe live in coalescence

Our lives are rather brief
so can't we all be allies,
Isn't love life's essence?

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

Not Black,
Not white,
Nor Brown,
If it is living being,
It matters.
Love all,
Be kind,
Be happy.
--Jayalalita B Iyer

Sometimes I wonder
if noise had a colour
then what shade
would silence be