The self is not luxury

it's the bearer of misery

Maybe one day you’ll call me
and tell me that you’re sorry too.
But you
you never do.

Remembered to be
forgotten

if I become the reason behind your fall,
will you be my summer?
if I wear that red, lacy thing you like,
will you worship a sinner?

if I turn everything I touch into ash,
will you become my color?
if I give you temporary moments of bliss,
will you be mine forver?

If only I could travel through time
and try to change my mistakes overtime
hardships, I see throughout my lifetime
time- the word I could never define

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

I like likes:

Curious LIKE the first glance of a newborn baby
Happy LIKE the Awakened Gautama Siddhartha
Free LIKE flying fish over the ocean
Infinite LIKE the first light ray at the Big Bang
Silent LIKE a gas chamber after a shower
Always on time LIKE death

I like likes but
Do they like me?

You don't have to be alone
To feel alone.
I still struggle with that
Despite how much I've grown.
I still have my friends,
My family, my fans.
But when I look down, all I see
are my empty hands.

To know you never watched
A single video of mine
Never read
A single poem
Never followed
A single link
These are the parts
That break my heart
Because you don't believe me
When I say I see you
Because you don't see me

"do you love me?" i asked with utmost uncertainty
he looked at me as he said, "sometimes."
unsettled, unsecured and in limbo, "no guarantee."
he repeated, "no guarantee... at all times."

POUR YOUR SADNESS IN A DEEP WELL
HEAR THE NOISE EACH DROP MAKES
FEEL THE DIZZINESS OF BEING RELEASED
THAT GASP, THAT LIFE FILLING EVERY CELL IN YOUR BODY
LOOK AT THE SKY
LET THAT WARMTH SORROUND YOU
OH IT’S BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN
YET
YET IT BLINDS YOU, IT BURNS YOU
LOOK DOWN AT THE DARK DARK WELL
WATCH OUT FOR THE MONSTERS IN THERE
OH
OH NO
IT’S TOO LATE
ADIOS MY FRIEND
YOU FELL.

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

shirtless screaming through
the heartland and I used
to smoke cigarettes
too.

she never wanted
to stay: the youth
she had
left demanded it.
now, I'll wager
she's somewhere
in an apartment with
some dandy that
wears sweater vests
to Thanksgiving dinner.

maybe she thinks
about me and my little
twisted heart every
now and again:
like when she's away
from the sweater vest
on the toilet
behind a locked door,
"be right out, babe!"
or toting groceries
through a parking lot
to her car,
or signaling a
left turn before
changing her mind
and deciding to
go straight instead.

and
maybe I need to
stop thinking
about her
especially after
three years
incommunicado

but what can I say?
I've never slept on
a bed of nails
I couldn't
dream on.

You are not the love of my life,
You are the life of my love ❤️

i’m too much,
too much to handle,
and yet simultaneously,
i’m not enough

Tall, once grown
A tree needs neither sap nor season
To pine

(for her)

I am a fly
attracted to your nacreous glow.

                                           Just swat me already.

Say it.
Just say it.

Say it.
Just say it.

Say, you love, baby
Say, you love me.

Say, you love, me baby.
Say you love me

When I call you on the phone?
Say, you love me, baby.
Say you love me.

When I write you a letter?
             (Write back)
Say, you love me, baby
Say you love me.

When I'm standing before you?
Say, you love me, baby.

Just say it.
Yes, say it.
Just say it.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

i think that the most damaged people in the world
are the kindest
and the softest

because they know
that scabs can be picked
and you can bleed

In the deep corners of 3am,
I find her.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj

With all ten toes,
And all ten fingers,
I wipe another tear,
And my finger lingers...


I already love you,
More than you know.
I'll care for you
Until I go...


My time has come,
Too show you the world,
I'll be your friend,
Until the end...


After that I'll be your Guardian...

For now you're my Angel
When I'm gone I'll be yours....