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You bite the bullet and hold the gun
But you stand in front of the mirror all day
Acting stunned
I used to think you were there for me
That you’d stick with me
I wasn’t always super loyal
But neither were you
Now you just leave me
For them
Here I am
All alone
Even though there are a lot of people
I tought I could trust you
But I guess
I was just a stand-in
I tought I’d post these two (falling and this one) at the same time because they kinda have the same subject
Mary Gay Kearns
Few people can be beleived
The lips are packed with lies
Words fall as if manœuvred
To benefit selfishness’s world.

I carry the dust of deceitful
tongues, swollen, diseased
Where is cleanliness left?
‘The dog’s bowl at the door’.

Love Mary ***
Baylee Kaye
he touched me
and my knees felt weak
my mind went blank
and I didn't know how to speak
Can you tell me the last time you cleaned your hands of me?
Did you scrub yourself raw like I did?
Did it bleed? Tell me, did it hurt?
How did you forget about it so fast?
Can you please tell me?
TW abuse
Fredrick Njoroge
Do you believe in me
Like I believe in you?
With plenty of miles to
Go still I dig deeper and
Run to chase my dreams
There's so much to see and
Even more to know as the
Curiosity grows quite a bit..
Ephemeral Oblivion
Is it living?

Or is it just dying slowly?
shy soriano
Isang pakiramdam matagal ko nang hindi kilala.
Sa pagharap pala nito'y akin makikilala ang tunay na sarili.
Sa pasakit na iyong iginuhit sa akin puso labis na pag durusa ang naramdaman subalit ng akin nalagpasan labis na pag mamahal sa sarili ang aking natagpuan salamat dahil natoto ako.
Ronza Jairy
You break your own heart
Everytime you don’t listen
to your gut and soul
Love grows cold
Like a forgotten cup of coffee
On the dining room table.
The steam dissipates;
Trailing into nothingness.
Leaving behind the bitter taste
Of lukewarm commitment.
I wish you were here,
so my eyes could see
I wish you were here,
standing next to me
I wish you were here,
I didn't say goodbye
I wish you were here,
another day I cry
I wish you were here,
to wipe away my tears
I wish you were here,
to steady all my fears
I wish you were here,
so much I haven't learned
I wish you were here,
so much I haven't earned
I wish you were here,
my soul you touched so deep
I wish you were here,
your laughter will I keep
I wish you were here,
to brighten up my day
I wish you were here,
you always found a way
I wish you were here,
I'll always have your love
I wish you were here,
you're shining up above.......
Ocean T
I lean into God's voice
and catch my breath
at His whisper:

"come back
to your
first love"

My heart pounds
heavily inside
the very structure
He built to contain
His image in me.
These past 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster and in the midst of it all, God reminded that my first love has always been His Son. He shared with me a greater truth: " Jesus took your hand in marriage before any man said he loved you". Jesus is the groom & His bride is the church - a covenant relationship where we become one with Christ
it took me forever to realize
that the darkness
is fine

just not
all the time.
I want to smother you
with my pillow hands
suffocate your skin

I would scoop out your eyes
to see no evil
blind you from all sin

I'll wrap you in chains
secured to my heart
controlling your brain
so pain won't start

Twist your words
around my tongue
scratch them back
in your back

I could cut you up
so you fit in my pocket
bleed your soul
into a precious locket

Smash your skull
to ease your mind
claw my way in
to your insides
cute aggression is that thing where you squeeze a kitten so hard its eyes pop a little because it's just so magnificent
yeah, that thing
What music do you like?
sorry, i just wanna know
Julia Cope
I look to the stars, a mysterious place

Try to join sparks, to make a face

I want to believe you, so where are you now?

"In every person that loves you, that’s where and how"
esther fraser
i fell for you and you only watched.
Gingers' Ginger
Can you hear me? Can you hear my lonely cry?
Momma? Can you feel me? I'm all broken up inside
Momma can you see me?
I'll never be the same
Momma I can't wait til the day I see you again
I don't know how to do life without you mom
i was tripping and you were sitting across from me
and it looked as tho someone was standing behind you
but as i said before
i was tripping
and you werent really there at all.
I’ve idolized so many people throughout my life.
Always thinking they’re fantastic, great people.
But then I always realized,
They were just an illusion.
Because they’re are no “fantastic” people in this world.
The world isn’t black in white.
There’s good and bad
Light and dark,
In everything.
I only wish...
Erin Bilstein
Even when I feel so much
It's so hard
To express with words
Or even actions

Your soul is the moon after dawn
A vapour who sings of love as well as pain
A delicate blossom that twirls with zephyrs
Fragrant and enriched by the snow's kiss
The geese have fled from iced lakes
long preserved with whispers of old
In the shade of bamboo, my flute is heard,
carried to you by the frost-kissed air
Your soul, a vapour, the moon after dawn
Hear my hymn of peace,
till winters turn to fawn

My head's still in the clouds! ^-^
I'm trying SO HARD not to freak out about my media course interview...
Lyn ***
The Calm
Lost in your waves of emotion
Drowned in your sea of despair
Quietly I suffocate,
die in devotion
Quietly I leave myself,
Become the air
Drowning at sea
Being fooled by ones intentions
patty m
I remembered it well

the rich mix of smoke, perfume, and garlic

one could almost taste the absinthe in the air.

Toulouse-Lautrec, was deemed acceptable

as we embraced his artistic vision

singing our Chason Realiste songs;

we are the people, the poor gaudy freaks
traipsing about with drink in hand
sliding stockings down
from thighs, spreading
our provocative
dreams while delving headlong into
decadence and garish night life,
trying to escape banality .

Ah Henri, the prostitutes, and there
were many, Marie Charlet
your first. Even with your genetics
and anguished tirades burgeoning,
she loved you well.

Tremblement de terre, your creation

we too contrive when mocked

to become carefree and

obsessively delusional.

Thin brushstrokes
touched dispassionately
and yet there is sympathy suffused,
a continuum of unarticulated
and variegated respite;
the allure of mouth watering treats
and trollops that take the woe-begotten
to stellar heights.

While we the hangers-on
raise glasses in salute
tonguing the inner sanctum of the Moulin Rouge
our astute imaginings savored while
craving even more of those
***** nights with ******* and bodies
exposed, ******* whetted blown upon.

Then too, our burrowed deep sensations might grind
out torch songs, even as the flames leap higher
to singe us all, we laugh and cry.

Curled flame we toast the unexplainable
creating an **** of molten light,
bodiesof heat brighter than stars.  

Thus we become the false dawn,

stripping darkness from the midnight sky,

an explosion of all we are and have to give

in our life long pursuit of Celebration.
After months of sleeping next to you, today I woke up, rolled over to see your face, and was __.

a) in love
b) complete
c) nervous
d) alone
e) all of the above
Another page fades
Another face aged
Over and under, again and beyond
In time we wither, till we are gone
And unto the meadows, dead with a song
It shall not be long, until we are done.

"They all love, as they dig my grave
They find love, as they dig my grave
We find love, as they dig my grave
As they dig my grave away"

In time, even ashes dissapear.

April 23 2019
May your grave grow deeper still
Nobody, will be there to mourn us
Just the black screen, of game over
And never again, shall we be

all our life, memories, thoughts, dreams, actions
Erased for eternity, not even time will remember us
Grace Spellman
hey you
we haven't really talked
in a while
which is funny because
i've memorized every inch of your profile
the softness of your deep eyes
that you hate so much
that i sometimes hate too
lately i just feel so far away from you
pull and tug
tug and pull
why won't you just let me
make your heart full?

on and off as we are, you're the only one i'll ever want. ****** loyal for you bby.
Julie Rogers
And some change
That I’ve been waiting for
Shove it deep into my pocket
Next to letters scribbled
On the back of a receipt
Letters destined for a screen
Two tacos and a tea
Cat food and Zoloft
All my favorite things
Am I happy yet?
Am I happy yet?
Am I happy yet?
Somewhere between joy and frustration
Between reality and imagination
Between love and hate, day and night, black and white
That’s where we are
So close but so far
I'm stuck between the
past and the future.
memories and dreams
life and death.
ting is
your           life
thro             ugh
a ne           edle
and         if
you sew
Burning pillows
Stifling sheets
Imprisoned here
I lie
Mind percolating
Past events
Shame and doubt
To the surface
Shifting and turning
But there are
No sheep
To count
someday it will
come again.
someday someone
will come in.

a star
with the deepest depths in the eyes
with the gentlest of breaths
and endless soul in the smile

one day
i'll forgive this pain
not forget -
we are all destined to love again, i am sure
Laura Duran
I wish I were made of stone
So your words would never hurt me
I wish I were cold as ice
Then maybe I wouldn't be lonely

I wish I were made of steel
So my strength would never waver
If only I could turn back the clock
To a time when I felt safer

But I'm only flesh and bone
And your words have left me bleeding
My heart is torn apart
It's a wonder it's still beating

You made up your mind
Given me your final answer
What we shared is in the past
Time to write a brand new chapter

I will fix my broken heart
Some how glue it back together
It may never be the same
It'll bare this scar forever

But I'll be strong, I'll be alright
Though I'm not as hard as steel
And I can't turn back the clock
In heart will heal
i owe myself
an apology
for who i used to be
and a promise
for what i will become
Each year
We get a little older
Some might
"More mature"
"More grown"
But that's not it
We celebrate so much now
This day seems normal
The biggest day of our lives
Our Birthdays
Seem normal
We party to much
and care too little
We celebrate
getting closer to death
almost meeting death
and finally
meeting death
So much celebration for one day
Today's my birthday so as I thought about the meaning of birthdays I came up with this, sorry its a bit sloppy but its a quick free write. Hope ya'll enjoy it!
You’ve stolen much from me
And I’m tired of wasting even one more thought on you
But you’re still torturing me
Haunting me
I want the day to come where I am so far from you
I won’t even remember this time
Where you are so far from me
You won’t even think of I
Because I don’t want any part of you
And I don’t want any part of me to be near you
No more
No more
No more
Ariana Bagley
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
‘are you lonely?’
my reflection asks,
her fingertips touching mine.
‘no,’ i smile

‘i have you.’
maybe my own company isn’t so bad after all.
extending thought and delving into intent
(where the poems come from)*

when I was younger, say five years ago,
the summer poems breezed by ripe for plucking,
airborne from the compost fat of
sun, water and soiled nature and its intersecting creatures

then winter poet soldiered on, past the easy season,
seeing rhymes-in-city-fireplaces snap cracking pops,
the wet dog smell of humans in overheated buses,
the seasonal wet sock torture that debated suicide alternately

and the early afternoon dark that closed doors,
a jailing of the populace; when by the glow of reruns,
we perform surgery upon ourselves and poems entitled
all sad words begin with a D get composed

now they don’t come that way

now, wait for you to ***** my eyes into seeing
what it’s that ails us all, what repeatedly fails us all,
and what makes living more than just mere presentable,
oh! your scrappy hints, chocolate covered mints and
oatmeal raisin clues

read now a word that exact interrupts


and its timed arrival perfect, making my point too well,
the poems come from you and we transmigrate into a duo,
you are equally responsible for the fat places

in the messages and texts, in the storied themes
underlying all your writings, saying, see man, what the babies
can’t say outright or keep in the studio crevices artfully partially hidden,
the list so credibly lengthy, god sent B12 shots
of extra strong caffe inspiration

that’s why you co create the paintings we paint,
I, paint, you, hang them in the place where they can’t be missed,
in the exact spot when you walk in the door, or overhead,
in bed-overhead ceiling,
cursing that prayerful ******* you let slip

making you mark, verified your, Hancock signatory
in the lower corner

so many pins becoming dagger stories,
change is gonna come, and in every letter is the risk,
that what will be brought, what needing saying,
the penultimate penury,
when you can’t pay the bills with monthly unsocial  insecurity

for what is for the best, or worse, reliving the worst twice more,
it cannot be helped in prevented, only reverted,
what you tell me is the what, of the wherefore
and where the poems come from

so you force me to live in every season,
“breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit,
and resign yourself to the influence of the earth.”
(Henry David Thoreau, Walden)

and its inhabitants that inhabit my every seeing,
which is why I am, is
where you are...

1:33 pm April 6, 2019
My broken life,
I lose my best friend,
No one to made me feel

No one seen my broken side,
I wonder why things happens,
Why no one seen pain before,
I lost control of my emotions.

I don't even have a best friend,
To talk to everyday,
Share things together,
Play games with,
And most importantly,
Being together all the way.

I wrote things down everything,
That I feel and no one knows
Anything about my pain,
And wish that a have a Best friend
To share my problems with.
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