I’m tired of my hands


<>
and my hands are tired of me,
the never ending pick up, put down choring,
without a end date lease or a by your leave,
if I never see a ***** dish or a poem unfinished,
my hands will be permanently attached
in one of them praying emojis

tired of my big mouth so wide,
saying **** notions like love you,
and love no more, so just shut it,
nobody’s somebody don’t care,
stick to whether the weather gonna change,
and if you’ll be sleeping in
the bed or the couch

tired of brain worrying,
brain farts polluting the atmosphere,
things I won’t do nothing about,
words gone to hell, climate change arguing,
poem titles that are body-less horsemen,
no useful good to no-body without
hands and feet and words in between

tired of my hands smacking my head,
and the headache that’s sure to follow,
tired of talking bout if it might rain someday,
man,
I am tired
in places I ain’t got no earthly reason,
and no words to say hey,
I’m tired of my hands (and most everything)
<>

8-24-19 2:28pm

Like a petal that is pink, showing my colors today
Did you care when I was green and I was growing to place
Yes my roots is with me look at the mess that I made
In the dirt yes I grew, in this dirt I became.
Do you believe me when I tell you I don’t like to be shady
That don’t give me any type growth

only thing I want
one thing I will never have
and that is your love

nothing
dark
light
someplace different
which would it be?
love surrounds me
with laughs and good music
upside down
my smile isn’t used to this.
others have taken the risk
and I’m sure they know the answers
bravery,
a decision
yet such sad way to use courage
to conquer what’s inside my head
this wasted youth bled into what’s up ahead
so I’m probably just going to go to bed,
afraid of every thought
that I wish to shed.

just as
the one
porcelain teacup
she adores
immensely
it has
crackling veins
on it
unknowingly
when
it'll be
in the verge
of shattering

take hold of that enduring poison
deep within me

that grips my stomach
and winds it around spindly fingers

untangle it
from my familiar web of emotions

be cautious

coax it out of me
little by little

set me free
to blossom in happiness

The raindrop whispered to the jasmine,
“Keep me in your heart for ever.”
The jasmine sighed, “Alas,” and dropped to the ground.*

(237 Stray Birds by Rabindranath Tagore.  Rabindranath Tagore was born in Calcutta, India, on May 7, 1861. He is the author of many poetry collections, including Gitanjali: Song Offerings (Macmillan, 1913), which received the Nobel Prize in Literature. He died on August 7, 1941.)

<>

Alas

some words of note get overlooked,
their usage to the wayside,
this is life, forever updating its profile

Alas!

none of us, do not lie,
issue this all encompassing sigh,
this shaded heart rendering, un cri du coeur

this, to remind us:

a single warring word,
falls wounded, forgotten,
telling of impossibilities
lost love, a broken conjunction,
what was that can never be,
what never was and yet not impossible
someday

Alas! Alas!

a single word poem,
that answers so many things,
and still in its regretting
is a niche of untold hopeful perhaps

write me a word like that
your fame, if that’s all you desire,
alas,
is assured...

Alas!

and everything that Was
could no longer Be.

Happiness
Is simply something
I cannot seem to grasp

I want to see the world
Through your eyes.
Talking to you,
Makes my heart fly
Looking at you
Feel like being born anew.
You are an angel
Is that true?
You are my heaven
To your heart I was driven.
How great this world is!
Your eyes are the opening keys.

With pencil in hand
Take these lines
And draw me
Every edge
Every curve
Every angle

Bring me to life
With each stroke of your pencil
So that I feel every
compression
Every feather light touch
On the paper
As you draw

Shade me so that my shadows come to life
Bring me forth
from the darkness
So that I may see the glorious light

Create me
In the way
And the shape you see
For it is through your eyes
That it is when I truly
Come alive...

you are,
you will always be
my sweetest haunting,
i loved you first.

Excruciating...
Is the feeling when
you are not enough,
for someone who is
everything for you.

Just like that
I discovered
my uncertainty
was due to
my senses

Beneath all this
I discovered
my curiosity
was due to
your defenses

Would it be unfair
if I looked at you
from afar?
Would it be unfair
if I spent more time
apart?

In the meantime,
I hope your dreams
come true --
just like you

she carried the sun with her
and the wind
with branches leaning in
as though listening
to her breath --
each one a triad
paralleling one after another.

she, herself, was a piece
that needed nothing
to shine
to be appreciated --
she was beauty
striding in constant andantino
locking me exactly where i stand.

adoring her
in every second's past.

This pen & paper knows a lot about her
It's her life,
Her journey & little more of imagination.

It relates her
Rather completes her.

Because Somewhere
She is Forlorn,
sad with day's drama.

Her journey gets a shape,
Word, sentence through it.

She finds peace in them.

Atleast, they don't ditch her.
They always exist when she needs them.

This pen and paper knows a lot about her,
It's her innervoice, which the world doesn't know.

She is a hive full of
Sweetness.
But , never far from
the sting .

“I see you “ she smiles
as she touches my face .

Upstairs she lies
with coverlets and curtains.

I am searching
and searching.
But , for what
I’m not sure .

Maybe diamonds
but probably
Fireflies and Lace .

Working towards not
losing my shadow.

My inertia’s held
prisoner
to her beauty
my moral vision
called and questioned.
The death of leaves ,
stranded on the high wire
in the back of beyond.

I think you’re already the person you want to be,
You just don’t let yourself be her.

try as i may i can
never forget the way your
eyes look when the sun
makes them glimmer like
silver fish in a pond

I don't believe in soul mates
What I do believe in
Is people that connect
On some deeper level
Immediately upon acquaintance
And not meaning you agree
On where to eat for dinner
But the connection where your heart
Seems to slip out
Of your rib cage
Because it's found a home
Outside of your chest.

when they stand behind you
protect them

when they stand beside you
respect them

but when they stand against you
destroy them

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

I understand the fragility of relationships.
Far more volatile than supernovas:
At the very least stars mature before their final flicker.
Relationships on the other hand can fade, or collapse at any moment.
For this reason alone I will hold you like it’s the last time.
In truth, it might be.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

crazy to think
we went from strangers to lovers
to strangers
you have seen me naked
you know my deepest secrets
no place on my body you haven't touched
yet
I no longer know you
and it breaks me to my core

I want to write my own story
But sadly I only hold the pen of a poet
Not the pen of destiny

Mixed with shame,
A tint of red that calls my name.
Tiptoe around the subject,
Or else you’ll see me burst.
Holding all these things inside
Makes me feel worse.

Thought I'm the best for you.
Ended up being the worst..

I'm sorry..

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

I could write of lovers
With hands intertwined
I could write of foes
With guns primed
Of people running the streets
No idea of why or what for
Of people next to empty seats
Sitting and hoping for more
They only have so many years
They only have so many days
Suddenly all the tears
And the empty “always”
Doesn’t matter anymore
For your time is long gone
And life eventually
Will not go on

If a writer
Falls in love with you
       you can never
                die................

"Are you okay?"

                           I'm always hurt,
                          Always in pain,
                          Every inch of my being
                          writhing.
                          An­d if you could fathom the
                         chaos in my head,
                         So monsterous that I pray you
                        never come to understand it.

                        Every moment of every day my
                        soul cries,
                       And if you looked into my eyes
                       you'd see it all...
                       Everything I hide behind a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine."