I pondered on my emotion as the locomotive set itself in motion
a train ride by the ocean was the remedy I had chosen
observing a tides devotion to a seasides erosion
identified the notion that I cause my own implosion

I am randomly getting feelings
of impending doom

As if the world will
End tonight
As if someone I love
Will leave me today
As if there is no
Tomorrow

******* blood sugar
Yes its tasty
As the normal sugar
Cut my wrists
And gently
**** the
Sweetness
Now
Is that better then candy

The breeze is fretful today,
typical of early Spring,
sunburst from drifting clouds,
and I sit musing
of winter gone,
hot summer days to come,
red dust stirring on the wind,
the dry land baking in the sun.

The surest way of
legitimising a lie
is by making the
truth unbelievable.

i wish i wish i wish
i could be you
for just a night.

i wish i wish
i could feel genuine happiness.
for just a night.

i wish
i could be normal.
for just a night.

but that's life, right?
the point is to suffer?

maybe it's for a lesson.
but i'm smart enough.

maybe it's bad luck.
but i don't deserve it.

My grandpa
             Words he gave
                            To me once upon a full moon
“Son” he said
            “When you go into this life”
“Remember, that love is a language “
             “So find, my son, find someone”
                     “Who speaks your language “
      “So you don’t have to translate your soul”
                                   Hmmm.

My heart is crying
My mind is screaming
Daddy let me go
Let me go
He says no
You have to watch this
I say
Daddy  do you love me now
He says no

I attend college in an apocalypse
I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist
Paying these grandiose establishments
So they can give me a piece of paper
A modern day participation award

"I am so sick of escaping from reality!" he screamed loudly and went to take a nap.

do butterfly wings
rip at the seams?
just paper scraps

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

sunset blood drains
from transient clouds
as a bone-white moon
hangs in haughty defiance
over a jaundiced prairie

and as the life-giving sun
descends into its earthly grave
centuries of ghosts
whisper their secrets
on the northern wind

they speak only of yesterday
having forgotten
the life of the present
and the promise of tomorrow
as darkness gathers

The jagged edge of a single thought will rip open the flesh ,unrelenting agony at the hands of a heart breaker .
I search my soul at the inner most parts , truth unfolds hardly making a sound , lie's to pass the time , ugly is your deceit .
Your reward shall be utter torment for you would not suffer me to weep as I lost all that I love . Oh my soul why are you down cast ?
You have never known the warmth of true love , you struggle as a fish in a net . When will I be shown mercy ? Where is my portion of bread ? I will not eat it for it is full of discontent , I will not drink the blood of wrath which is given without mixture , but here I sit and wait to be free.

Did you enjoy the fire?
The burn that kept you alive,
the wild that made you see
that love lived in her eyes.

We meet again, o' demoted one
at the impasse of our darkest thoughts,
once destined to fly far above-
If only dreams were a metaphor for our love...

You lost her once, you said
now you converse through blank pages
in your head. Trapped by a blessings' curse,
her love was rare, you see... like this verse.


Jennifer Alé

I’ll be exampling what happen
I’ll tell until I figure out when
Or understand the between of here and where
Or until I know what you’re actually asking?
I’ll be exampling what happen
Until I remember what happen, then.

I don’t know the names of your children and can’t recall your husband’s face outside of the fact that he has a square jaw and like me he is not classically beautiful
My tongue remembers the spaces between each of your teeth and the distance between your breast and navel is near that of your earlobe and collar bone
Please forgive me for never being able to imagine you conventional a woman who keeps house and walks a family dog before putting kids to bed
I remember the heat of your fingertips and your eyes unblinking wild that summer we jumped fences to explore the intimacy of our friendship
I saw your skin glistening under water moon-drenched and held the small of your back in my palm my heartbeat felt in every part of me
Lips stained mouthfuls of dirt cheap wine sediment on our tongues swirling toward the bottom as we pulled air from each other’s lungs

... And when
They promise you forever
Don't overthink it.

Forever is a second,
an hour and a day.

Forever is until it ends.

So,

Cherish every moment.

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

If I could
I'd take your smile
put it away until times weren't kind
I'd add it to the wink you left behind
That would carry me through most anything.

If I could
I'd preserve your kiss
Keep it safe until times of loneliness
Reminds me distance keeps you from me
I'd open the lid and let the touch
Carry me to you

Filled up with empty words,
Torn down by broken promises.
Joy, elation, ecstasy,
Sorrow, anger, disappointment.
Up and down, up and down,
Back and forth, back and forth.
I am not a toy,
This is not a rollercoaster ride.
There is no ice cream, no sunshine,
It rains, it pours, it thunders,
Loud and disruptive and destructive.
I reject it.
I will find my own sunshine.
I will build my own joy ride.

i cling to these memories like how a child would with her mother's skirt. gently but not harshly, too afraid to rip it to seams or fray its warmth. it's a hideous skirt, mom. i fondly look back at it anyway, unable to fully let go

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night

I dreamed you kissed me
That you loved me enough
To break it
And kiss me.