I wished
I could look into your mesmerizing eyes
and see your bright warm smile in person
instead of interpreting it in a text message.
To hear the words uttered from your soft lips, unfiltered.
And not as a digital voice through my phone that I'm trying to listen to with my headphones to intensify the sound.
To feel your presence, to touch your body with my own hands
Instead of plainly touching you with my words.
To smell your perfume on you
Instead of keeping a bottle with the liquid in my closet.
I wished my senses were attuned to you in distance...

those three words came to my mind
when i saw your red but beautiful eyes
i felt i was blind this whole time
but you were nothing but a devil in desguise

i really hated you for a long time
because you made me fall from the enormous climb
the only times when my will to live was near
it was because you had spoken to me, my dear.

Dragging my knuckles on the sidewalk
      I find myself hoping for a spark
     that would confirm my mechanical makeup
        Titanium and servos buried mere inches beneath faux flesh
        Scraping concrete

         Friction, it would seem,
           is the only force powerful enough to reveal me to myself

You think you're the victim,.
Such a fantasy, please make a schism,.
Match by match,.
You found a way to detach,.
Drip by vapory drip,.
The gasoline that drops from your lip,.
As you speak your words for hire,.
Your volatile saliva splashes onto the pyre,.
Where you tied me down when four words were shared,.
This seems to be the only way to show you care,.
I plea to you, I question you why,.
Do you feel the necessity to let us die,.
You tell me to be patient as my soul burns,.
Preparing a feast out of me for the worms,.
Every excuse you can make,.
For me to bleed fire on the stake..,.,.,

Because I love you I’ll hold your hand while we walk past your friends
But they won't see my grip, how white i'm growing at the fingertips
Because I love you, I’ll trust you with his number in your phone
Only till we get home, because then baby, his numbers gone
Because I love you I’ll hold your phone for you babe
And crush it beneath my feet when I even get the creeping feeling that you think of another girl
Because I love you, I’ll make your eye black and blue and show you this is what love is
I’ll set your house on fire baby. Is that girl pretty now?
Because I love you, I’m going to break your legs so you can't run away from my love
Why won't you let me love you baby?
Isn’t every bruise a reminder?
Isn’t every broken bone a kiss?
I love you baby
I won't do it again I promise

15 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Listen, if I’m willing to talk to you, will you listen like you always do?
It has been quite hard for me to acknowledge the fact that we’re through.
Saw a few of your pictures on Instagram and Facebook, I’m glad to see that you’ve finally found someone new.
I wish nothing but love and happiness for the both of you, I really do.
At the end of the day, I’m so glad that I got the chance to have met you.
There’s this girl who has made me realise that maybe I don’t have to die to get to heaven.
Her beautiful cocoa butter skin proves that her complexion is truly a blessing.
It doesn’t matter which book I’m reading; her love is the scripture that my heart believes in.
She is simply a poem with feet, her soul is well-versed in love so eventually I asked her to walk with me.
It has been quite hard for you to acknowledge the fact that we’re through.
You’ve commented on my pictures on Instagram and Facebook, you’re glad to see that I’ve finally found someone new.
I’d tell you more about her and maybe show you what she means to me, but that’s a poem for another day.
I hope the person that you’re currently with has made you believe in the essence of true love again.
Because you deserve something better than lonely nights saturated with pain.
I’m happy for the both us, glad that we’ve managed to find happiness again.
We can’t change what happened in the past, we were teenagers back then.

so many reasons,
so many stones
yet unturned,
for each poem
a season,
for every season,
a given reason

eyes, dimmer,
hearing, harder,
memories, ha,
disappear as fast as
footsteps upon
my island beach

this then
my log,
of places momentarily visited,
capturing the of,
of me,
the exactitude of
where, when and what
I felt

what felled me,
the long and lat,
of the attitudes of
breeze and currents,
the happenstance that carries
a desperate soul
eager and afraid
to remember

"how fragile we are"

so memorized records here,
for his storage and his places,
both filled and unfulfilled,
poems, nothing more,
flawed each,
product of a flawed man,
here, for all to see,
most of all,
for the man,
to see himself
when the eyes of his mind
at last be shuttered

When people tell you that they understand what you're going through: They don't. They have no idea how you feel about anything. If you tell them that you had a sleepless night because of the test tomorrow morning, and they tell you that they understand: They don't. They're trying to calm you, trying to show you that you're not alone.

And maybe it's wrong to say, but for me it is the truth. The way I see it is that no one ever understands how you felt that night. That no one ever understands how much it killed you inside when your mom got angry, or when your cat died. No one knows how you felt when you got your heart broken for the first time, or when you broke your favorite mug. No one understands what you thought when you lost your best friend, or friends.

So if someone ever tells you that they understand, you know they don't. And you know that they can say whatever they want, but it won't change anything about you, because they do not understand.

The sweltering heat
of a burning desire
singes
the memory
of the long forgotten
souls.

The whispers of time
flows like a wind
raging the fire
of remorse.
of hope.

The undulating smoke
of clueless dreams
dissipates
leaving behind
the void
of colossal emptiness.

Do you have time to live?
Do you have time to laugh?
Do you have time to love?
Do you have time to cry?

Time passes you by.
People move on and get on with their lives.
Please don't let this be goodbye.

Cafiifa Jeylani ©

It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
of times.
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.

~

Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
While some,
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.

©BT

Still
You
Rise
Above
The
Origami clouds
Paper moon

The old king sitting on his throne,
Chills running through his bone,
sits in shadow, not alone,
those that would be king.

Daggers creep on quiet feet,
Snakes all whisper something sweet,
the wolves all watch his golden seat,
Those that would be king.

They all want his crown and key,
but none of them can ever see,
the sword that’s hanging, Damocles,
Those that would be king.


Men with daggers in their cloak,
promise, oath, and friendship broke,
sing his praises, try not to choke,
those that would be king.

They watch his sword with wary eyes,
afraid he can see through their lies,
praying that tonight he dies,
those that would be king.

The king stands bleeding, all alone,
don't call out, there’s no one home,
soon he’s buried under stone,
By those that would be king

I stand there, staring at a shop window,
A hoodie behind it, wondered high or low,
Enough to mask myself; not wanting to show,
My soul to the world, or my folks would go!
Have had people in life with traits the same,
Science says DNA doesn’t vary much, big game!
Then how come we looking at, is different?
How come I can’t stay a friend?
We decide for ourselves, but the society,
Does it better, or so it is said,
It’s what they perceive that our kin care,
Not what we feel, so we shouldn’t dare.
Hence, I keep staring at the hoodie,
The dark one, I see how my life would be,
Better! The dark can take in all colours,
And keep them, never emitting back any.
That’s how I wish I were- reserved!
One who wouldn’t open up, they would say-
The kid is a weirdo. And that’s the only way,
They’d stop peeping into personal space.
I believe that I’ve let y’all down,
Yes, your love and care is now a frown,
Why expect too much if I don’t desire?
I err too! I’m human not divine.
And if divinity is a root for us to riot,
What point do you make clear, having faith?
I’d rather blame myself for my plight,
Than a “creator” whose existence is under fight.
And then there’s dissipated sympathy,
For others’ grief, you take a semblance,
That you’re limpid enough to feel their sorrow
And fool them ingenuous lot, bating them freedom.
Now, do you feel no joy waking up in this world?
That all you thought was warm turned cold,
Like all you’ve done, you let down whom you care for,
You got to stop doing what you’ve done,
You can build up hope and do massive action,
In these limited hours, you can be a stun-gun,
Be the glare in your rival’s eyes, shine with perfection,
Throw all masks away; believe what you believe in,
Critics might hunt you down, but arrows prove weak,
You’re far stronger, you’ll rise up, won’t give in,
Only if you’ll do; coz you have to, today, starting now!

Colour the skies maroon
with that angry red streak
that you always have,
and the way your blood boils,
scarlet rage that brings rain so cold,
hail pelting down from the heavens
making me question religion;
making me question myself
again.

My skies used to be blue
with clouds painted, floating in grace,
a yellow sun in the corner of my page
back when I was younger than youth.

Though my skies are fading to grey,
I see the colours of your rage
so I'm making history for myself
this here, this now, these words,
writing until I break.

Writing to escape.

If Love is a disease
then I'm very sick
but incredibly happy....

I spotted you, your silhouette
in my hopes for something more
you faded against the viridescent velvet
that trailed flowers and pressed lips to shadowy dandelions
now I sleep with lullabies and promises
morning breaks through the illusion

As if you know
My heart aches whenever I thought about you
As if you know
I have been longing about you since the first I met you
As if you know
My heart blends part of your soul that youre not given to me
As if you know
I just really seems cant move on about you
As if you know
Those little onions made me cried just like you did to me
As if you know
You did nothing to me---

spent so long
finding quiet
those moments between thoughts
calm the mind
still the pulse
craved it forever
the quiet
it has arrived
here
now
yet
all I want is to hear your voice


@journeyofdays

Her chariot
glimmering off
feint blue dust.
Lighting up
dwarfish torches
in the night sky.
Selene rests above
in her crescendo;
shrouded by
a gentle
spectral shawl.

She watches me,
as my weary back
relaxes on
a lonesome headstone.
They keep me company.
Selene,
a silver flask,
and my revolver.

"What could I have done
to change this fate?"
Selene remained quiet,
and stared back at me.
"What is life's essence?"
In which, still,
she replied
with silence.

The bitter
winter zephyr
rustles against
my flowing locks.
She smiles at me.
She's beaming.
She basks me
with her radiant presence.

"How did you get up there?"
Her eyebrows
arched at me.
"How did you folks
become haughty
and powerful?"
In which, still,
she replied
with silence.

The gentle winds
turns into
a roaring behemoth.
Vehemently howling
amidst pine trees
which surrounds me.
I took the last sip
of bourbon
from the ol' tin.

"How could man
swim against
Chronos' current?
How could man
muster strength
against the Fates?"
For the nth time,
she replied
with silence.

The frigid muzzle
nips my forehead.
Sweat trickles
down my temples.
I could hear
my own heart
drumming.
My hands
are shaking---
almost vibrating.
My breath
releases
sullen spirits
from this
broken vessel.

Before I closed my eyes,
Selene gleamed at me,
before hiding behind
her faint shroud.

I bowed down,
said my final prayers,
and concentrated
on my friend's
farewell kiss.


"So, long, Selene.
When, I, wake, up,
I, wish, I, would,
reek, of, sunflowers."
---
---
---.

You are the love that came without warning.
It was almost pure
the way you unfolded my mind,
an origami flower
frozen in winter.

You left wrinkles
in my paper heart.
And I am softer from having loved you.

mirror, mirror,
on the wall,
can i be pretty
like them all?

look at me
and you'll see
a pretty human being
like the rest
of all

stare at me
and you'll see
the ugliest,
most unpleasant
creature
you thought
you'd be

decide which,
and you'll get it every day.
decide which,
and it will change yourself
forever.

mirror, mirror,
on the wall,
why can't i be pretty
as myself
like them all?

I lost my only pen and consequently lost my head
Sell my psyche .99 only once a month take me away burn everything leave me in the little box you made I'm here I'm here tell me what are my fears slowly dying of irony in a living room with prepackaged food if living is four walls well haha I'm living it up
The crescendo sounds like hey you wanna beer don't think about your fears fortisimo bounce legs grit teeth grip chair turn on the tv live bicariously try to get the experience through fire wire liars
My eyes are melting the chicken is burning  smoke alarm living spontaus combust (ie watch porn smoke weed ride the bus)
I am the walking dead the champion of keeping it down when all I want is to scream and run around

Sitting silently
by the
old willow tree,
I heard a knocking
through the thick,
rustic bark.

My thoughts drifted,
thawing the frigid
quiet in my mind.
For there was naught behind,
nor in front,
of the old willow tree.

"What could it be,"
my mind asked me.
"And from where is it coming from?"
And then, from above,
there was a deep, low hum.
A light flashed, and I was
blind.

Pack light
Don't add
Take off
In life
It's about
Working out
What needs
To stay
Not arrive

sitting here but not
my insides
       in a twist
my organs blooming,
their flower landscapes
rising in my solar plexus
like poetry expanding
its cellular shapes
into
        light frequencies
I need way more.
I need the pulling off
      and stripping down
of souls
I need to meet in
a depth of falling
I need to be pushed off
the silent gates of madness
into endless sea
no looking back
senses piqued
from slightest brush
of oral butter pouring
on hot cream
my mouth, a searing
crimson wound
oscillates in
contraction radar pulses
ripe for intense
tongue exploration
         aching to be filled up with
your distinct flavor
My essence molecular is
overflowing with fluid
giving me life
in throbbing, raw
electric vibes
whipped organic, in
                 rolling tides
Somewhere, out there
                  our volcanic impulses
                          meet in steamy ebbs
                     and send energyflow
to a new and ancient universe,
magnetic
and I am
a raging heaven's child
      wrapped in
           a tight little
              tourniquet
     blood pumping
through these veins
             my longing for
                 dark stretches
   of intimate caresses
to soothe
  the spikes
      of snaking pain
Give me
those airwaves that
let me breathe freedom
into the fields of our skin
Let me run like wild herds
of the animal within

and as I find myself
hanging off
my
      own
  edges
my many-braided loops
         in zigzag split,
a-fray
my skin rips open,
parting fibers
that expose my
very
      DNA
helix swivel
     undulation
hips grinding into
                     soul
reaching in to
pull out
fresh rebirth
from between my folds
O help me to allay
this tender affliction
undo me, already
so I lose control
one little shove
and I am over the cliff
deep into ocean
clit over spliff
I am beyond ready
so grind it to the hilt
Give me your
tender-ripped heart,
spill your honeycomb milk

I am here, ravenous
in the pan
uncooked yet ripe
saliva and breath
steaming my own innards
flushing out strife
I am piquant hot pepper
ready to be broiled
my blood is already
                             boiling
my tender meat oiled
mull me over
in your oral cavity
like sacred wine
until I drip
through your bones
and down your spine
Just meld with me
                        and flow
into that light tunnel
of dark time and space
so I can stake out
my rhythms
and claim
      my
new
sacred
      place

'It's dark in here'
'Its sacred there'
'Stop'
'I ain't stopping'
'Turn back'
"I have no intention to'
'Don't come any closer'
'I'll come'
'Its a warning'
'I heard it'
'I'm dangerous'
'I know it'
'Aren't you scared?'
'My shaking won't stop'
'I'll ruin you'
'Ruin me then'
'I'll break you'
'Break me then'
'I'll tear you to shreds'
'I'm all ready'
'Leave me be'
'I can't, I won't'
'Why are you stubborn?'
'Let me come over'
'I don't wanna hurt you'
'Take my hand and pull me'
'I don't have a heart'
'Have mine'
"My soul's rotten too'
'Mine is here for you'
'Why are you doing this?'
'I have been there, long ago"
'Were you?'
'But not as deep as you'

A lot of girls say
They like us
Weird little boys.
But when I get down
On my knees
To eat out her asshole
I immediately
Get thrown out of the room.