I obsess with unatural desire
I want to brush up against you
accidentally
and run my fingers through your silkyness
be engulfed in your fragrance
Oh Hinoki Cypress
you are such a beautiful
pleasant tree

You came into my life in an instant
We were so close yet I feel distant

You give smile when we talk
But can we really walk the talk?

Finding you must be right
But the timing of today is not quite

No one is to blame
I'm just feeling sane

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

As I walked down memory lane yesterday,

I heard him said, "don't get lost".

I realized & laughed.

I spend too many nights thinking
Wondering, writing, dreaming
Of someone who doesn't even think of me

You're a gift to this world
I admire your generosity for others
Sharing freely from your heart

Your character inspires me
I recognize the resolve in your values
Challenging me to grow

Your spirit calls me
I thirst to know all of your secrets
Both broken and healed

Your energy moves me
I crave your touch
Addicted to the electricity it gives

Your soul sees me
I'm intoxicated by your words
Dismantling my armor

You're a beautiful creature
I'm thankful to intersect your path
Hopeful we can walk awhile

i still
do not know
the poem i've been trying to write
and maybe
that's because
i haven't been
writing one at all
or maybe it's because
the poem i've been trying to write
is not ready for paper
and maybe
i'm the paper
that's not ready for it

Everyone's lost in a world that hasn't found it's way back. And it's about to slip off it's tracks For the lack of truth. The negative energy is pulling it To one side. We must find Positive ways to refill the other side. Truth is hard to find in a place so blind. So you must open our eyes and hearts to do what's right, And quit lying like it's okay. Spread laughter that tickles and Don't Be fickle. Share your time For someone else's life, And let go of what you used to know. Because that rainbow Does have that *** of gold, As long as you reach deep enough You'll find it in your soul.👼😮

Just because I’m in pretty lights doesn’t mean I have a pretty mind,

just imagine if I was socially better, imagine if I died,

melodramatic.

I stand on the stage but I live beneath the storm.

I am counteractive when I give my all,

melodramatic.

Melodramatic,

If I didn’t moan I would be bright but I didn’t ask him to bite,

it’s the nice “girls’” tactic,

melodramatic.

Melodramatic,

I’m losing my hair to a monster in a pink disguise

I’ve been dipping it in drink and ****** thighs,

melodramatic.

Sorry I’m not intelligent; sorry I’m not a woman

sorry I’m not quiet; sorry I’m not a man.

Melodramatic.

The tree sitter of Nantucket
Lived in a tree and he dug it
He never went down
To visit the ground
So he would **** in a bucket

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

my arm is numb
my fingers tingly

i think this must be
a friendly reminder of my
mortality

gently, i respond
"no need, sir
i am a walking
existential crisis

fear of death
and i are well
acquainted"

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

Because the heart is a temple,
and love inhabits every chamber..
love is a child that laughs the hardest, with simple dreams and simple happiness,
but love is a child that throws a tantrum,
and when love is upset, it pounds the heart until it cracks.
Love might be a child, but this child would break the heart open when it leaves.

Love is never selfless, nor selfish.
Love leaves.
Love comes back.
but now might be in a different form,
with a different name, different eyes, different smiles.
Love might be bigger now,
and a cracked open heart might be perfect to accomodate a much grown up love.


•rb

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

I ran over your tongue
like silk
or would you prefer
fine wine
You sloshed me in your mouth
tasting the way
I ripened with age
I danced with your taste buds
I thought I did well
but then
you spit me out
and decided you preferred
the 2010

It is a sickness.
Words pour from me
Truth and fantasy
Since a child.
I have a writing disorder.
People run for fear I'll share.

When in the fever, it spills from me
on napkins and paper bags.
It surrounds me.
It drowns me.

The disorder seizes me.
Words written in lost notebooks
long forgotten.
The writings disappear, but the sickness
never goes.

Uncontrollably, as green in May,
words spread over me.

i don't want to sleep
afraid of the dreams
that i'll wake
be living a nightmare
of a life
i am trying to escape

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

i bask in my own thoughts,
a poet's dream come true,
when they flow and dance in the moonlight
dripping off your fingertips,
     luminescent
and sublime.

i remember now, that even if I never loved myself,
I've always loved my own writing, and the stories I told myself.
and in my own head, in these moments,
it's almost as if I can read my own poetry,

temporary, ethereal,
living the lies I tell myself so freely,
that I become the child I once was.

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

Dance in the rain
Where no one can hear you screaming.

Dance in the rain
Where no one hears you crying.

Dance in the rain
Where you make all your moves
Till you're exhausted and you fall down

Dance in the rain
Where you'll rise up clean from the mud.

Rejibudu🎀
Rain inspired🌧️

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

When two hearts moved apart, the schism became a chasm.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

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Wait
Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat

It looks like life's not treating you right
And you don't like it a single bit
How about you try this friendly advice
...Get over it

Day after day you don't get your way
Where all you want to do is quit
Lean over here so I can whisper in your ear
...Get over it

You think you're the only one with problems
That spends most of your time in the ditch
Here's a news flash, we've all got em
...Get over it

You whine and cry thru the struggles
In the midst of quivering lips
Time after time, questioning why
...Get over it

I'm not saying it can be that easy
And with all of this being said
Still stuck in repeat believe you me
...Get over it