the sunrise wept,
kissing all four corners of her room.
desperately illustrious,
dragging out the emotions we conceal within.
taken aback by the sheer beauty,
the tears began to lull.
a sudden stillness ; peace,
washing away the grief of that night.

she traced my fingertips,
eyes like moon pools of water.
oh how precariously balanced were her tears,
upon her lashes they sat,
comfortably uncomfortable.

her warmth, her gaze, her breath.
the addictive enticement,
enhancing the tense seconds
ticking by on that old grandfather clock.
as we both sat,
reminiscently replaying.

I miss you
I love you
I’m drunk
and I can’t think straight

My world is falling apart
Because I can’t stay sober without you

drip drop
who knows
which will be
the last
like breath
no one ever
knows
no one ever thinks
to appreciate
either

All I want is for what we have to be real

i wish that you could feel my hand in yours
as the tips of our fingers sting
and our breath
makes white clouds of smoke
as the leaves huddle for warmth
in sodden heaps by garden walls of stone

with the murmurs of rain
the sky paints the window panes
the bottle lightens,
and my lips stain red as blood
a pain climbs from my throat
and grows
as i think of you
so i push it down
to the place i don't dare to go

I wish to be free,
A dream of a stormy night,
a snowy meadow kissed by the moonlight,
When wind dashes and dances across the fields
When everything is asleep
I wish to depart.
And just be.

~Umi

Nothing matters,
Faster, Faster,
I pedal away,
To a bright new day.
Gives me wings to fly,
Every terrain I want to try,
Also chase the blue sky.
With the fresh open air,
As it messes with my hair,
I cycle everywhere,
In the woods, on a street or cycle track,
Here, there and back,
Up the hill I huff and puff,
Going up is tough.
Oh,what freedom!
Like the joy of stardom,
My mind crystal  clear,
Lots I discover as my bike I steer.
Round and round the wheels go,
In the sun, rain or snow,
Every moment I relish,
Never to end I wish.
18/11/2019.

Streaks of orange and golden pageantry,
like a chariot driven by cavalry,
in an orb made of opulent armory,
delighting everyone with your supreme scenery.

Uniquely made with fire and fury,
reaching us in eight minutes of undue hurry,
can’t get me out of bed this early, even
as your warmth is as pleasant as poetry.

Adorning the blue sky with white colored pastels,
seeking adoration for you by those blooming sunflower petals,
wake me up inside so I can draw you a mural,
maybe beam me up a vast canvas,
so I can paint one as splendidly supernatural.

23 years old
Today
Wonder why I feel this way
Should be proud
23, salaried
Everything is feeling pretty empty
23 years
Happy Birthday

I fear nothing more
Than feeling my love start to
Slip 'tween your fingers.

- p. winter

Why writing about past why not present, when you only get to live once and have to leave your past behind!?
They asked..
But what one can do
When all You have is your past with tragedy coming aside
And all you tried to let it go
But one single stone has higher hopes
Than me
To do so!
I answered...

I HAVE, GIVEN UP, PLEASE DON'T TRY,
DONT TRY TO STOP,& DON'T ASK WHY!

remember to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever

compare yourself

All the things I would do,
If only
You called my name.

I’ve been dreaming,
Of all the faces,
Of all the people I have ever loved,
Apparate and shatter,
I do not want yours to end up here.

I look to you,
The way the flowers look to the sun.

Do not excite within me,
What you cannot contain,
Within your arms,
Sometimes this all spills out of me,
Help me not to overflow.

I’ve never wished people,
Good night but I want you to know I’m dreaming of you.

I never want to reach the fall,
So keep driving,
Down the blue roads,
In my skin until you reach the centre.

Please remove all sharp objects from your person before you enter.

Right in the middle of my chest is my heart. It's beating. Since the day I was born. Since the day I met you.

Sometimes you are happy, so I can hear my heart beating in my chest. It wants to break through. It wants you to hear it. It wants you to see it.

Sometimes you are sad, so I can hear my heart beating in my chest. It wants to break through. It wants you to feel loved. It wants you to feel happy.

Sometimes you don't know the way, so I can hear my heart beating in my chest. It wants to break through. It wants to guide you. It wants to be your light.

But you don't care.
You use my heart and beat it up.
You use my heart and leave it.
You use my heart and break it.
You use my heart until it's bleeding, so I can't hear my heart beating in my chest.
It's beating so low.

Am I alive anymore?

Why can't my
Heart be empty?

I hear the clock chime ,
The soundtrack of my lifetime.
Play , silence , repeat.

Trouble
Troubled
Troubling

Which one are you today?
I am that unholy trinity

Three in one… a triptych of suffering
Curse my name… mutter it under your breath

I will merely continue until my repentance is full

even in your arms,
you've been out of touch.

Google maps says
it will take me
21 days to
walk to you.
Just enough time
to break the habit
of thinking
that I need to.

I stare at the mirror
not because I'm vain
and not because I'm pretty
I stare at the mirror
because the person looking back
is not me
It's a black, shadowy wisp
that runs away
when I try to touch it

the wrong one
will find you in peace
and end up leaving you in pieces

only the right one
can find you in pieces
and guide you to peace

Because the earth’s round
Doesn’t mean it’s  having a ball.

Because waves crash
Doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control.

Because the sea is deep
Doesn’t mean that it’s thoughtful

Because land meets the sea
Doesn’t mean that they agree

Because you float my boat
Doesn’t make me the captain.

Nights may seem long,
but day must come eventually.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I cough words
onto a page,
and hold it up to the world.
They call it art, they call it poetry.

My periods turn to semicolons
My suicide notes to poetry
My goodbyes become hellos
The blades turn to sunflowers
And the bullets, a rose
My heart still is broken
But the pieces have been found
Death isn’t for me anymore
What is, in the here and now
I still don’t feel enough
But I am alive
And that’s enough to say
Today is not the day I die.