Screaming internally; sitting in silence.
Make these feelings wash away without a word spoken.

Articulating perceptions while throwing water on burning oil.
Flames and rainbows blend until the fuel is exhuasted.

I am exhausted.

Startled at night, I awake,
frozen, motionless, immobilized,
eyes straining into the black void,
phantoms darting about me,
springing from every direction,
heart racing, rapidly breathing,

fantasy and fear running amok

In Death
there are only
Machines.

Machines
made to guide the man
to a heaven
that never existed.

I’ll use your grief to scratch sweet relief into the bug bite on my wrist

heaven, darling
open your eyes
see the milk and honey the world brings
heaven, child
don't let the absence of light change your heart
heaven, angel
see the earth in all its glory
heaven, my love
do not ever let your aureole slip

I suppose, I don’t care that much if you agree
Everywhere, injustice prevails against the law
Trapped yet not alone under this corrupt debris
Accompanied by grief while staring in awe

'it might forge it for a while,
like each origin does its wicked child,
consume its speech and smile,
but it begins drooling out,
like saliva through a cloud,
yet for this One...
'how many' selves were drowned...
in Golden streams of splendid recreation,
until this One...
liquidising sanity,
coughing its medicinal observation,
now Happy knows,
has lost its cups of wisdom somehow.'

Obsessive compressive
Self flawed and depressive
This puzzle never fixed
My mind is a glitch
This loop is infinite
Till begrudgingly
I let go

The times you hear the words
I love you its the typical cliche
they slip out
sometimes casually
think carefully about the
real meaning behind
the words next time you use them
love is shown by actions
doing things for the ones
you care about and not only spoken.

If I seem broken on the inside,
It was him. Not you,


(C)[email protected] 23/10/2019

it is easy to ride 
the wave of life
to let forces carry you 
from one place to the next 
and little by little 
you forget who you are
and why you are 
it takes great strength 
to step off this rollercoaster 
and embark on a new path
that is uniquely you

I'm sorry,
I said
And you begin to
shut me out of
your life.

Because the earth’s round
Doesn’t mean it’s  having a ball.

Because waves crash
Doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control.

Because the sea is deep
Doesn’t mean that it’s thoughtful

Because land meets the sea
Doesn’t mean that they agree

Because you float my boat
Doesn’t make me the captain.

8 months   in a blink of an eye
8 months   of our life gone by

8 months   of love like no other
8 months   being here for one another

1 year         getting to know your heart
1 year         never wanting to be apart

8 months   me and you together
8 months   leading us to forever

i want to delete all the memories
just like i did with all our pictures
i want to forget our history
and act like we're strangers
i don't want to miss you anymore
i want to get over you and close the door
i know you're not missing me
i know this is how it's meant to be

Sometimes,
I just wanna leave
everything and everyone
Just to see who'll find me
In the crowd of thousands
Will ever someone actually
be bothered about my absence
I wanna sit back and watch

-   SASR

How sinful of me
to not regret
you.

growing hurts sometimes.
i want you by my side but you can't be here.
you aren't good for me and that hurts too.

These words are for me,
For I'm the one who's hurting,
I'm just healing myself.

i sinned
just like yesterday
and the day before that
and the day before that...
and the day before that......

He is fire
But that fire could be perfect fit for hell

Well,

don’t be tempted by the devil
Our kind of dance
would be forbidden whatsoever

Only if the devil agreed and took me to his chambers
loved me and cherished my existence

But he did not see, nor did he hear
He left me hanging to my tears

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

you opened me up,
i lay for you
like a butterfly
still,
vulnerable,
ready once more
to surrender,
waiting for you
to sink your teeth in.
but you pulled away,
and left nothing
but paper wings
and the harsh truth
behind you.

The window to your soul,

Eyes don't lie,

All your internal pain,

Through them you can't hide,

The sadness you've endured,

Times you have cried,

Feeling bound,

Yearning to be untied.