Kebebasan.
Semua orang mencarinya.
Tapi, apa kebebasan yang kita inginkan benar-benar ada?
Sesuatu yang ingin kita lakukan tentu memiliki batasnya, kan?
Tidak semua hal yang ingin kita lakukan bisa terjadi.
Jadi, apa definisi kebebasan itu?
Kenapa semua orang mencarinya?

Ini mengingatkanku kepada seorang kenalan, yang sangat bebas. Aku sangat kagum padanya. Dia selalu melakukan apapun yang dia inginkan, dia orang yang sangat ceria dan tidak takut dengan apapun dan siapapun. Saat ini, dia sedang mencari kebebasannya. Dia juga orang yang mengajariku agar hidup tanpa penyelesaian.

Untuk melihat "dia" mencapai kebebasan tersebut, tentu aku harus tetap hidup dan mencari kebebasanku sendiri, kan?

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

my Father sits
in a dark corner
of the room
and smiles

he tells me
the dead
know the stars

that I have paid
for my journey

and he has brought
flowers for my eyes

Flower stalk in beak
Bird of love and bird of peace
A world wide symbol

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

i remember
your favorite
flower.
do you
remember
my name?

You're lucky,
You caught me.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

These raining days
Colder nights
got me wishing
for sunshine
and warmer days
© Jennifer L DeLong 🦏
4/2021

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

Now I have never kissed you before

But I have imagined it.
What it might feel like
Or what you might do

Some people say it’s magical
But do you think that’s true?

Because my Father says it’s like a raindrop,
Now I don’t understand that too

But he’s had a lot more experience than me
If I had to guess what he meant
I would say it’s soft,
Welcoming,
And sends a chill down your spine,
Is a little uncomfortable at first
But in the end, it will be just fine.

If this is true, then it’s not how it feels that makes it magical
It’s the fact I’ll be doing it with you.

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

The lights are sharp but dim
The music loud but soothing
I escape to the darkness inside
To yesterday and the day before
I escape to her
She was mine but a memory ago
I smell her perfume
She moves like an enchantress
Her body hypnotic
I smell her sweat
I want a taste
Her eyes glow in the dark
They hide a darkness
She dances to forget
I watch her to remember
I’m not good enough anymore
I creep her out
At least that’s what it feels like
I watch her from the shadows
Pretend she doesn’t make me quiver
Pretend I don’t worship her at night
Every perfect piece of her
Her perfect everything
Perfect for me
I wanna do it like they do in the movies
Covered in sweat and candle wax
Surrounded by music
There’s plenty of other women I want
She’s just at the top of the list
She’s dangerous and crazy
She’s broken like me
My muse for my ***** thoughts
But she doesn’t want to come back
She’s not ready to feel again
I fear I’m the only one crazy enough to try
So I have to play along
And not let it tear me apart
Easier said than done
Easier had than loved.

believe me if the universe
can let the sun rise again
and give the moon back its moonlight
every night then it can surely
have the power to mend
your broken heart

My friend my only friend
Listening to my plights
Never leaving my side
When I’m lonely and feeling sad

Joking and sometimes cajoling me
With acidic unnerving wit
But always out of fondness
Leaving me no doubt of your love

A life so solitary and dismal
Without love or human companionship
From male or female kind
You’ve never let me down

Piers and concert halls
To party’s and royal performances
We speak like brothers often do
And you guide me all the way

Made from wood and speckles of paint
With a flat cap and a suit
Smiling from ear to ear
The vision of insane happiness

Listen to me just one last time
As I open the bottle of rounding pills
And swallow them in quick succession
Then kiss your head goodbye my only friend

I am in love with a girl.
And she smells like Sunday.

Let's have a worldwide election for Peace on Earth forever! We're all Citizens of the Earth. Why not let everyone on Earth vote at the same time for the way she or he want the world to be. We already have the technology to do this. Do we collectively want world peace? Do we want to exercise our natural right to determine our own future? How many of you would vote for War--any kind of War, even World War III--that would destroy Earth and all living creation on it? Or would you prefer a world of equality, of kindness, of love? Would you prefer a world of letting everyone do her or his own thing, but do nothing that would cause harm to anyone else? All equals. No class system. No deprivation of food, good housing, great education, total freedom of religion (but no attempts to try to convert others). Citizens of Earth--all 8 billion of us--would be the government of Earth. There would be no president of Earth. Citizens of Earth would send their ideas and submissions to members of the General Assembly (around 200 elected for one five-year term by Citizens of Earth from districts that formerly were nations) who then would form them into proposals to be voted on by Citizens of Earth during the last two weeks of every month. Everyone worldwide would have access to smart phones (with one's own personal ID #). No more nations. No more borders (the world's air and water don't give a **** about them! Nor does the pandemic, with all it variants). We shall come to delight in our differences. We shall come to celebrate the variegated colors of skin, the different cultures, the different customs, languages, foods. No more aggrandizement, no more profiteering, no more money. No more wars, no more killings, no more *** trafficking. No more corruption, no more dictators, no more weapons of any kind. Just love and Peace on Earth forever. It's utterly doable! Think about it. Talk to your family about it. Talk to your friends about it. Talk to strangers on the street about it. It's our world, after all. Let's have an election and create a world in which we all can live without fear. Peace on Earth forever.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

I feel nauseated thinking so much forward in my life.
Will I fail everyone?
Will everyone discover a reason to leave me behind?
Will I forget myself?
Will I leave myself behind?
My eyes sting as it formulates
tears
to tumble down my cheeks
in which operates like a
cliff
that my tears are threatened with
enthusiasm to
blindly
jump-off.
Why do my eyes sting?
Why are we set up for incompetence?
Why are we given such an intoxicating judgment about our lives?
My eyes sting.
Should I distance myself from everyone?
No
Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
H
E
L
P
…My eyes are paralyzed.

A little glint of hope
and a smile to curve ones lips
a little inspiration given,
from eager fingertips

from a little bit of mystery,
to compelled by raw attraction
light turning into lightness
deflected obliquely, now refraction

Blissfully we are interfacing.

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

All the expectations
All the preparations
Each year that comes
It could have been
Happy daydreams
Reality, I cope
I still long for you
Knowing you as no other
I bring you flowers
My sweet Cate
Three were born.
Two remain.

when I die
do not burn me
or bury me inside the ground
instead cover me in ink
and surround me with papers

- a poet never dies

The number of worlds that exist
Just inside my mind
Is enough for someone to insist
That there is a mistake in my design.

They stir and they shake,
Yet nothing can compare
To when you smile for my sake
Or run a hand through your hair.

When I'm with you I feel
As if I'm in the imaginary;
I forget that it's real,
Not crafted by the words in me.

It's only when I think back,
When I am trying to sleep,
That I remember it's not mind crack;
That I might be in too deep.

I do not know why
Regardless of what I do
I'm not enough for you

Check message
Facebook
Check message
Instagram
Check message
Send message
Wait
Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat