I can clearly see the red lights
But I step down on the gas anyway.

Exiled to dusk,
Fractions of the sun
Begin to lift away,
In concealment
We shudder,
Casting our reels
Into a pond of uncertainty,
Clock hands bend
With advancing shadow,
And speak of time
Only in past tense,
I so want everything
I ever felt for you
Preserved for posterity,
Even should forever
Be far less than
We imagined.

If you do not fight Now, then when will you?

I tried to fill myself with

You and me

And everything in-between

I tried to **** myself with love

Fill the void

But now I can see

Love can't save everything

When I'm alone

I'm forced to see

What I don't want to belive

I try to hide it away

I've erased all the pain

But then whats left?

Besides

Life, death then



emptiness

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

i just want to dance
with you
i want to act like a mosh pit freak
in a ballroom
forget it if the world is ending
just come dance too

Back in November
I shaved my head
You told me
"Do whatever you want"
I asked if you'd still find me beautiful
"Yes" you lied
I shaved my hair because it was bound
Bound in a mess of self destruction
And self hatred
Looking back
My hair was a symbol of us
And like my hair
I loved you
but I shedded you too
-"November"

Of course I have to delve into my mind,  
To search for answers for everything,  
But when the answers I cannot find,  
I have to wonder what the next days bring.

I can't bring you joy
I can't make you happy
I am a burden
My love isn't ever
Something someone wants
I only wanted to be
Someone positive in
Your life
But I failed
So goodbye

Sleep my beloved, upon the field of stars.
    Ardent and bright, in the nothingness that awaits.
______________
I hear your whispers upon my heart,
   I hear its beating in response,
     I laugh and I cry at the same time,
         in this pleasure grief but endures,
             but my happiness lasts unchanged
______________
Sleep my beloved, hear my lullaby.
in the nothingness of the cosmos, paint me a sign upon constellations
-Towards our future meeting,
     unaware, we are already there
        for in you my soul dies,
              and my heart sleeps.

I´d rather die alone, than settle for less...

It’s almost a contradiction
To love someone
When they are angry
When they are jealous
When they are vicious
But it’s easy for many
To love someone
When they are joyful
When they are humble
When they are empathetic
It’s as if we have been misled
To provide conditional positive regard
Unconditional love
It is hard to encounter
A blessing to receive
And a burden to maintain

i don’t want to go to sleep
i’m afraid of closing my eyes
and never wanting to open them again

Can It Be?

Can it be
That when you die
Your atoms go into eternity,
Come back collectively,
Attracted by
A law of magnetism and attraction -
A cycle and a miracle;
After all,
They’ve always been
A You since time began.

Can It Be? 2.24.2021Nature Of & In Reality; Circling Round Reality; Birth, Death & In Between III; Arlene Nover Corwin

if you can’t be with the one you love
take care of the one you’re with

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

You are not the love of my life,
You are the life of my love ❤️

i think that the most damaged people in the world
are the kindest
and the softest

because they know
that scabs can be picked
and you can bleed

I don't know where I began.
I don't know where I'll end.
But I don't need to.
I know where I am right now.
I'm with friends. I'm with you.
And to me, that's a pretty
great place to be.

I’ll just deal with the consequence later
right now I’ll allow my consciousness to waver
serving up a flavor,
that tentatively turns into a vapor
is a remedy I savor
along with the marrying of a melody that influences my behavior
as the intensity of the intended entropy gets greater

If you ever see me
run over.
kicked.
bleeding.
blurring.
on the ground.
incoherently.
something wrong with me.
or that I’m not conscious,

don’t look for my breath
or heartbeat,
don’t reach for a phone to call
an ambulance that will drive me
to the hospice
to which the world throws you in
when your window sill climbing,
barefoot walking
in the dirt rolling
like child with freeing thoughts drooling
or law-culture breaking
gets too much
of a crime for them.
don’t ask me if I see still fine
your two or four fingers
yet look for the tears in my eyes.

For if I don’t have them anymore
and won’t get myself then or ever again
to truly cry,
it is only then
that you’ll know
I stopped fighting,
I died,
I ultimately ***** myself
and I forgot
there is more Beyond.

and without that
my existence isn’t worth
looking for the pulse
anymore.

I will not be worth
of seeing stars
as a boy
without sanity
or glasses
anymore.

...

I swear on you
upon all
that
heed.

You're dead

there was so much we could have done
so many streets we could have walked down
but now we can't, we never will
because you are dead

I told you I loved you
and you said you loved me too
but you're dead
and now you are in a vase on a shelf
surrounded by pictures of the good old days

We could have walked hand in hand
up mountains and through forests and up and down hills
we could have seen it all
there is so much more to do

there was so much more to see...

but you're dead


and I hate it

Id cry too,
Cry for me,
Cry for you,
Cry every time you see the color blue.
Cry alone in bed,
Cry each night after the prayers that are said.
Fill a bucket full of tears,
Those aren’t yours anymore,
Give them here.

I’m trying hard, not to think you’re unkind
But the footprints in my heart have left me scars in my mind.

Love
m.d.p

ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

In the deep corners of 3am,
I find her.

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you