the organs had to mutiny
as brain had gone awry
‘it’s actions don’t bear scrutiny’
the eyes were first to cry
‘well, something doesn’t smell right’
reports ran from the nose
and though the lips remained shut tight
they’d plenty to disclose
like how brain’s lack of thinking straight
had wrecked the status quo
too weak, they felt, to bear the weight
high office did bestow
‘it don’t inspire confidence’
the spine said, round his back
‘and acting past it’s competence’
the heart joined the attack
promoted past ability
their feeling, by and large
and causing instability
who’d left the brain in charge?
‘forgetful,’ hands said, ’like a sieve
it’s time we seized control
and who has brain been sleeping with
to land the leading role?’
‘so much for meritocracy’
the throat began to shout
‘****-kissing and hypocrisy
that’s how they dole jobs out’
the kidneys cried ‘who is that *****?
he’s offal at his job!’
‘hey that’s offensive!’ said his ****
‘to every **** and ****’
these rumblings in the canteen
left appetites un-whet
‘it’s time for action’ called the spleen
his stomach got upset
‘I know it sounds hard to digest
when you’re all so annoyed
but my gut feeling’s brain’s depressed
or maybe paranoid’
with state of play in disarray
morale sailed south from low
the matters grey brought such dismay
‘the brain’, they said, ‘must go’
and so they called a meeting
and forced brain to attend
the feet said ‘no retreating -
elbows and knees, don’t bend’
the fingers typed the minutes
the backside took the chair
saying ‘brain, we’ve reached our limit
you’re broke beyond repair
once a steady moral compass
now your needle’s in a spin
and your body parts will rumpus
if your reasoning grows thin
and your constant heavy drinking
leaves your sanity suspect
and if beer does all the thinking
we’ll be forced to de-select’
they thought him sick
a lunatic
that what they said, he’d do
but they’d been tricked
failed to predict
their worst fears could come true
presumed a thorough rinsing
would leave brain hung and dried
he’d need no more convincing
but then the brain replied…
‘you think you can
control this man
with coup d’etat flim-flam?
you’ll need more than
a foolish plan
I THINK THEREFORE I AM!
if those down there
could wear my hair
my tenure would be stopped
but jaw’s too square
the lungs? hot air
the ***** have long been dropped
the fists? no clout
the mouth? all pout
so state your nominee
to push me out
but have no doubt
this ship goes down with me
and those who boast
that they may coast
by transplant, have no hope
since there’s no posts
if overdosed
or found hung from a rope’
and so thoughts of brain’s banishment
were quick to lose their worth
they’d be under new management
and six feet of damp earth
and as his threat rang loud and clear
the fists could barely thump
the ears pretended not to hear
the ****** did a trump
the lungs felt so deflated
but wheezed back into work
his bones felt dislocated
his wrists felt like a ****
but brain’s brand of diplomacy
had quelled their malcontent
and while not how things ought to be
I hear that’s how they went.
Spoiler alert.
It’s another long one.
And there’s some fruity language in there somewhere.
Short stories in rhyme.