I write about the things I'm missin
I'm on a mission
to make you listen
I have no doubt in this decision
Our love will solve our long division

I used to wait for you,
Right here in this corner
And when I felt quite blue
Your hug would make me warmer

But now the days have changed,
I step big steps on my own  path
I feel we've got estranged
It's really done, I've done the math

That one time when you didn't hear me
Followed by the other time you didn't see me
I'm telling you one plus one is two, my friend
I've done the math, we've reached the end.

I wonder if

Because i believe if

so  my spirit would be free

karagatang mapanglaw
ang sati'y naglalayo
sa malamig na tanglaw
ang ulilang pagsuyo

While calling to the ages,
  I gave up on today

All voiced precipitation,
  for someone else to spray

Writing above what’s forecast,
  with readers yet unborn

My words beyond the thunder
   —to ride on distant storms

(Villanova Pennsylvania: September, 2016)

with one last kiss on the cheek,
i watch as winter sweeps you away.
your face disappearing in a flurry of snowflakes.
Your name drifting off in the wind.
No matter how cold the winter, and no matter what it brings.
I know your memory will last past the coming spring

Boy,when you are lost,have faith,
He is trustworthy,most,have faith !

You will always be enough
for the person who loves you.

Sometimes we need a little fog
in our life to remind ourselves
that everything isn’t always as clear as it once seemed to be.

There is a tattoo
of a wolf
on my thigh.

A tattoo I had been planning,
for a long time.

Underneath is not what I would call
bare skin.

It is graced with
and possessed with
scars.

Of one kind.

That kind.

I am grateful that now
when I look down

I am not met with harsh lines,
but instead the eyes
of a kind wolf mother.

She now bares the scars that I carved.

Be kind to yourself,

she says.

The days that are slow
Are the same ones I hate
Too much time to think
Mind quickly gains weight

I think of the past
And then think ahead
I'm done with this day
I'll sleep now instead

In the whole of our human experience,
We can only fully trust
What we perceive in dreams

When the moon first met the stars,
Did she question
Whether or not
The
Amount
Of
Stars
Surrounding
Made her brighter?

(A WARNING TO THE CURIOUS)

Distance yourself
from this world
before you
into its troubled atmosphere
are hurled

there's a thin white line
between "glad because of it"
and "sad without it"

I could pick that laugh out
Any where
Any time
Whether it’s day
Or it’s night
Oh it sends chills down my spine

Someone once asked me,
"If you could go back and undo having loved him, would you?"
At the time, I said no.
Because even if it hurt to be used and abused,
I really believe the old adage that love is always better.

If I could go back in time, I would not undo loving him.
But I would undo how long I did.

I did not realize that perhaps this makes me damaged goods.
I do not believe that you can only love once in a life,
but I forget that some people do.
I forget that new men may think I have used up my once in a life.

And when he asked me,
"Did you really love him?"
I said yes, once upon a time. But wondered if he wondered
if he couldn't fall for me since I already used up my one time.
And when he asked me,
"Do you still love him?"
I said no, end of story. But wondered if he wondered
if I was telling a lie.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Endless thoughts,
anxiety obsessed with me,
dark clouds,
sadness taunting me

These are the things
I'm still learning to escape

Do you'll miss me?

If i run away through the mountains just to become water from the river?

Do you'll come here to see me flow? to compare myself with your vains blood?

Purple, green, grey?

Do you'll swim into me?

Do you'll jump to my crib?

My serenade, velvet lover,

I would crumble like a blowing star,

If you pleas.

But now, it's time to let it go, slip, i'm under, glorious benedicting water.

Her eyes
reflect my moon.
In her eyes
it's always full.

After a departure of fright
By which this ferry fled.

Laying in the sand
Trembling frosty death.

For the wall of sorrow behind
A fountain picturesque.

With the rust of reality entwined
This may not be the end.

Before the sun could tell time
I became an expert of her
My instrument is her eyes
It took ages of practice
I learned from the moon
And all the colors of the sky

All the stars fall
Our eyes in between
The wind is real
No pain is free
The air is hers
She lets me breathe
Her words are the light
When she talks I can see
Now the window of her
Has unlocked for me
Through a million past lives
Together was the key

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

Copy right
Copy write
Copyrights
Copywriter
Copying and writing
Is copying right
My work is not copied and written
My work is not copyrighted
Except in my mind
To write
Is to Cope right

the nectar of love
only comes with
the poison of pain,
two
for the exorbitant price of one

standing
at the chasm
of life and death
destroyed by love
grief remains
as life’s sole friend

the memories of love
now
belong to time
and this aging body
to the five elements.

© 2019

i see the flyer at starbucks

"are you caucasian?
without mental health
and drug problems?"

wow
i don’t know the answer to any of these questions
is a jew a caucasian?
is the occasional *****, ****-slamming drunken rampage
a drug problem?
as for mental health
i’m a deadbeat poet and unpopular pop musician
i’ve got a job fighting death and boredom
and i just changed my facebook password to "eat ****"
my frustrations have driven weaker souls to homicide
but are these PROBLEMS?

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.