for once I was believing in myself
believing there could be something I
could be good at, decent at, something
I didn't have to fail at: but before
I even got to do it I became interrupted,
obstructed in this belief: for once I felt
I could be empowered, I could explore
myself through something but now that courage
and confidence I thought I could grab
seems far away from me. I feel defeated
and broken before I could bloom.
Please, water me, so that I can continue on.
I know you cannot bloom for me, but please,
water me. Please give me sun.

I was falling
for you

the feeling of
being weightless

the sky and
the ocean are
blue

like your eyes

your eyes and
Einstein’s brain

are the depths
I can never reach

but I will drown trying
to reach either or both

I feel you
within the ink
of every word I write

u see the knife
you watch the glow
u see me smile
but can't hear me cry
u think i'm happy
but inside i'm breaking
u see the blood
then u realize
that i wasn't
lying
when i said
i'm depressed!
u wish u gave me the
support i needed
but now it's too late.
I'm dying inside...

Falling in love with you.
Is a gamble that I know I will lose.
A doubt I won't have.
A question I won't make.
A chance I will take.
A warm I will crave.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

I don't feel special,
I'm not unique.
I want to cry
but I can't even speak.
My hands reach out,
but they cannot hold
a single thing
but the bitter cold.
Everything's frozen,
I feel lost.
Even my tears
have turned to frost.
When I cut my waist
it bleeds black.
I'm so deeply gone
there's no way back.
This is goodbye

Tired of being used
For parts to fill
Yourself with
Use up until
You feel whole
Taking pieces of me
Taking pieces of me
Empty
Every time you leave me

All I know
Is how
I feel

And sometimes I
Wish I
Knew nothing

necrotizing fasciitis
the fat man’s cancer

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

When I was little
I was scared
Scared of the monsters living under my bed
I used to hide, under my blanket
Under my blanket, I was safe
The monsters couldn’t reach me under my blanket

My parents used to say
The monsters would go away
I would grow up and that then they would leave

But I grew up
And the monsters didn’t leave
Turns out my monsters, grew with me
Now instead of under my bed
The monsters live inside my head

So I hide, under my blanket
Where I think I am safe
Wondering if after all this time
My blanket can still keep the monsters at bay

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞.
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝚂𝚘 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘.
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝
𝚂𝚘 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜.
𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛.

All things forgotten
Not one thing forgotten
Everything is dear
The dearly beloved
A Precious time,
the journey of love
Make no mistake
Mistakes will be made
The end
Will never define us
A true bond
How special it is
For better or worse
Take my love anyway
For it was always yours.

There's subtle, eerie beauty in letting go,
allowing your creation to fly freely
to meet the audience, live its life just so—
it waited to escape your grasp so keenly.
What others feel about it you can't control.
Your inspiration, the readers will ignore
so to get scared, to react with their own feelings.
It's brought into existence—you played your role.
Don't be afraid, it's strong to break through ceilings.

You met my shadow
A monster that has been lying dormant for years
Just waiting to come out and take over

You met my shadow
The thing I tried so hard to hide and protect you from
Because I knew it would scare you away

You met my shadow
“She” appeared from the deepest hell inside of me
When I felt my world was crashing down
Taking advantage when I was weak

You met my shadow
For that I am sorry

And I don’t blame you because
When “she” comes out of the darkness
All I want is to run away too

I am not using her as an excuse
merely wanting you to understand that “she” is not me

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

No Surrender

      Oh that Devil he’s persistent
Like a bully he’s the ultimate offender
But compared to Jesus, he’s barely
What we consider a worthy contender

He’s more like a wannabe
Just a deceiving pretender
And when he attacks me, I turn
To Jesus my ultimate defender

But there was a time when the Devil
Was easily the best tempter
And I’d drink to ease my pain and my
Best friend was my bartender

But that was a long time ago
I was so much younger
And my mind was weaker
And my heart was more tinder

I would easily just raise the white flag
But now I know Jesus and his splendor
And now I raise my fist and my voice
And I scream to the Devil no surrender

Written By:Charles Kean
Copyright © 12/03/2021
All rights reserved

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

Jeffery,
if you're reading this,
(which you might be or you might not be
how am I supposed to know)
this is your sign to
LEAVE ME ALONE.
do not disturb.
these doors are lovingly closed to you.
goodbye.

Speaking over coffee
Shooting at the breeze
I smiled at her softly
And loved her more than me

Reflecting back on time with you
As difficult as it seems
It’s so hard, my love, I never knew
Anything as easy

I set down with settled fingers
A cup of clouded dreams
That tastes like fresh carnation
In simmered down caffeine

Tell me all your stories
Sing me songs to sleep
For a moment, I’ll taste the confidence
That you could love me more than me

It burned my palm when I caught your randomly floating wretched thoughts.

like a deer drinking from a stream
in the clearing
I am clearing
time away
I am the wolf
amongst women
I am a jar
half full
I am residue
on the sink edge
dusty, smudged
I watch people on trams
I watch people on buses
I don't smile
I watch the deer drinking
I play with my hair
I stare
I am the wolf
from afar
I am
I am waiting
for the clearing to wilt
and stream to dry up
I watch the deer
I am