i used to say
that even if i wasn't okay right now,
i would be eventually

now that's getting more and more questionable

I don't believe in coincidence or destiny
But I know of algorithms

when you sleep it's like you never cried,

breathing soft and steady, wet cheeks dried.



when you sleep it's like you never lost,

boundaries weren't broken and lines weren't crossed.



when you sleep it's like you're still there,

and you still smile and you still care.



when you sleep you look young as I,

no crease in your brow and no old worn sigh.



and so if sleep is death just being shy,

is it still so wrong,

to wish

to die?

Give us a chance to live
A chance to live in your imagination
Even if reality does not avail us
Let us build a house in no man's land
A place where there's no sting of reality
In a dream of endless possibilities.

Fleeing from things,
Far from my dreams,
Someone help me,
Someone hear me...

Though you once had control of me with a twitch of your hand,
I’ve now cut the strings that tied your hand to my heart

When I was a child,
I was taught poetry wasn't mild,
It was deep as the sea,
And it seemed truly unachievable for me.
I was taught poetry had to rhyme,
Every single line, every single time.
So poetry seemed out of my reach,
Like chasing a seagull down a beach,
Jumping ever so slightly away,
Or soaring into the sunny day.

So I never thrived for what I thought would,
No, Could
Never be.

I guess now I'm fixing the mistakes of past me.

Just the one
Ok maybe two
Little love notes
Of encouragement
Urging me on
Telling myself
That these words
Can mean
What I need them to
In the moment
I need them
Just one a day
To keep the light on

The first tears fell
When I entered the bright cold room
Doctors handed me to my mother

Tears fell again
When I entered the bright cold room
To say goodbye to her
The one I knew, loved, and cherished

Tears fell once more
When we put her in the ground
The dirt smelled of rain
And our eyes full of pain

Now there were two of them
Separated between thousands
of read texts and timely
chats touched by sound
but not skin  
Awake in the others sleeping
Sleeping in the others awake  
Restless as they wait
Restless as they wait

Believe in yourself
Everytime you want to give up
Whenever you have doubts
When you don’t feel enough

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

it was so.

i am riding my bike up the drive only
and back
into the hall

the tourists come late in the week
to stay over and all gets busy in the

lane

i am happy with it
and did some wavy bits

told him that things
do not have to be done
all in one go

so all is ready for monday

meanwhile the running
continues and though

initially I was one of the thirty percent
find I am not with mind control

yesterday my head was still full
of yesterday which is now the

day before yesterday

so much

my mind raced
and refused to sleep

i watched him reverse the tractor up
in the dark

wondered
and turned off the light james

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

am i happy?
am i hurt?
i hardly know
all these feelings
are a blur
building up
in the corners of my eye
until i let it go
and cry cry cry

With Trick or Treat a-loomin'
and the harvest moon a-gloom'n
and the ghosts and goblins loose upon the streets

You can bet your bottom dollar
that you'll hear a screech and holler
when you open up your door to give ‘em treats.

But beware of werewolves howlin'
and the zombies who are prowlin'
In the shadows in the corners of your mind.

For the scary cogitation
in your own imagination
is the one that you have mentally designed.

So...remember you'r not seeing
any supernat'ral being...
they're just costumes and some make up on the kids.

But be sure and take no chances
e're they start their spooky dances
Give them candy or the ghouls might flip their lids!

Happy Halloween my neighbors
on this night of ghostly labors....
And good luck.  You can't escape it if you could.

They'll arrive in cars and wagons...
dressed as witches, bats and dragons.
And they won't all be from your own neighborhood.

BOO!

you ask me why im so quiet.
why i keep to myself.
why im alone in my room for hours.
why i dont want friends.
why i wait in the dark.

if i dont talk nither will they.
if its in me its not out there.
if im alone nothing bad will happen.
if i dont have friends no one can hurt me.
if its dark no one can blind me.

I went to your favorite restaurant today
I’m not sure why
I ordered your favorite food
And suddenly I started to cry.

                       - I miss you.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

Souls on edge
Are alone and waiting.

Hello old friend,
It's been a while,
My dearest freind
I've missed you so.

I've missed the joy,
The emptiness and dark.

I've missed the agony,
The feeling of not knowing who I am.

not to be rude, but why cant you just change?

the moment i knew it was all over