it's hard to put into words
what you feel from time to time.
do you know what "joviality" means?
i searched it up - it's a synonym for happiness
i still don't know what that is.
I think this went too far, too fast
Now the time is running out.
Your truth is all mixed up with lies.
My heart is aching, full of doubt.
I thought I saw something in your smile,
Your words were breaking through my wall.
If only I could have known the danger,
crumbling meant a nasty fall.
The ghost of things that never happened
hang around in my weary mind.
You let me down with a final blow,
just wish those words had not been kind.
It's hard to hate someone who shows care
as they stick their knives inside your heart.
You think that I would have known by now
that to fall in love is to fall apart
when we were younger
and we were scared
of the monster in the closet?
We never asked questions about it
why it was there
why the closet, of all places?
we were too terrified
But as we grew older
some of us stopped being afraid
because we knew it couldn’t hurt us
why be scared of something that couldn’t hurt you?
But some of us didn’t
to some of us, the monster grew
and it would attack us
late at night
Some of us weren’t afraid
but later in life
we confronted the monster again
and all those years of work dwindled down the drain
However, as we all grew
we, at some point, accepted the monster
sometimes welcoming it as a friend,
someone to listen
And as the days went by
all of us growing older
and finding ourselves, one day at a time,
the monster disappeared
It was like a weight off our chest
we were sad it was gone, but happy all the same
We could finally leave the confines of this place
maybe we were the monsters in the closet after all
how much would i love it
without you by my side
i could go anywhere at any time
but without you there i would feel lost
wherever you are
thats where i will be happiest
even in the scorching deserts of Egypt
and the darkest vacuum of space
wherever you are
thats where i would be happiest
no hasta dos
o hasta diez
si alguna vez
que la miro a los ojos
y una veta de amor
reconoce en los míos
no alerte sus fusiles
ni piense qué delirio
a pesar de la veta
o tal vez porque existe
usted puede contar
si otras veces
huraño sin motivo
no piense qué flojera
igual puede contar
pero hagamos un trato
yo quisiera contar
es tan lindo
saber que usted existe
uno se siente vivo
y cuando digo esto
quiero decir contar
aunque sea hasta dos
aunque sea hasta cinco
no ya para que acuda
presurosa en mi auxilio
sino para saber
a ciencia cierta
que usted sabe que puede
Three days ago, I was the accused.
A defendant in a court case,
I was forced to defend myself
against all those accusations.
I might as well deny my wrongdoings,
even though I was caught red-handed.
Two days ago, I was psychotic.
I was locked in an asylum,
forced to deal with the trauma
that I have faced not too long ago.
I shouted in the language of anger
for something that I never asked.
Yesterday, I broke up with my best friend.
All those years, our lives revolved about
a common coordinate shared by us.
How depressing would it be
to think about the future
when the past was all we had.
Today, I am a thrifty shopper
shopping in the dollar store.
I want to save as much as possible
and buy as many things I can
with the little money that I have
so I bargain for a lower price.
Tomorrow, I will be a student
sitting down within a classroom,
as I accept the facts and whatever
the teacher is discussing.
Прости мне все обиды.
Прости мне всю боль.
Одай мне все свои негативы...
Прими только чистую любовь!
С души в душу -
с груди в сердце -
Я умаляю, бога прошу -
Ведь в мире дастаточно ненависи!
ни так ли?
Нет печали -
и жизнь прекрасна!
~ с прощанием и пониманием ~
Прости меня своими словами
Прости меня за всё!
Прости меня мой любимый...
мне очень жаль
i live in delusion
i don't really know what's worse.
letting me go with invalid promises
that would haunt
my lonely nights
and make me lose myself in the
thought of you.
the dates i met you
and felt your lips against me will
be engraved in my mind.
the days i lost myself to you for the first time
would be the person to wreck me
put me back together
and destroy me.
The world today
Stopped in mid-spin
Fed up with the shape
That man's put her in
Gone on too long
With his selfishness
Putting a stop to it all
The world thinks is best
From the building up
To the tearing down
The ever persistent
With no peace at all
In cities or towns
Over hill over dale
In leaps and bounds
From the arguments
That always ensue
The world's had enough
Of me and you
The blue of the streams
Now brown and green
When the world tries to breathe
It comes out a sneeze
Which creates havoc
Throughout the land
From earthquakes to tornadoes
North, South, East, and West
That's why the world today
Stopped in mid-spin
Putting all of this nonsense
To a bitter end
Now all the world does
Is float out in space
Peaceful and relaxing
Without the human race
At 5, her smile was bright,
Which soon burned out like a fading light.
Made some friends, lost some more,
Tried being happy with a heart so sore.
At 13, she caked her face,
To fit in a world which was a maze,
Was called a whore for trying hard,
Pierced her heart like a game of dart.
At 17, she found a love,
Thought she found a pure white dove.
Love was lust and shattered her,
He left her like a toy mere.
At 21, everyday she cried,
She ain't living, she just survived.
Wore a white gown, took a piece of blade,
Soon the white gown whole turned to red.
i can fall in love
knees awkward trembling
you shivered beside my car
parked on the lawn
drunk at 4AM
kissed forehead neck cheeks eyes brow jaw
i don’t mind clumsy boots
don’t even mind thick southern drawl
i heard what i wanted to hear
you were jealous in the garage
attracted to my jawline
and the way my face spreads
when i smile
you kept cursing
as i sat upon your hips and
licked your tongue raw
expletives rolling from
your lips onto mine
air mattress in guest room
you laid my glasses on the floor
and held my skin until it bled
onto calloused fingertips
sore with the guilt of our actions
but both of our need
i can fall in love
I'm the girl who sucks at sport and lies to get out of games.
I'm the girl who stresses too much, who spoils the moment.
I'm the girl that looks in the mirror and wants to cry because she can never look beautiful.
I'm the girl who has to fight with herself to breathe.
I'm the girl that can never be happy for her friends achievements
because she knows that she will never amount to anything.
I'm the girl that has breakdowns in class because she can't handle failure.
I'm the girl that curls up in a ball with her hands on her head and tries to block out the demons in her head.
I'm the girl that makes herself bleed.
I'm the girl that wishes she was dead.
I'm that girl.
I'm the girl that people rely on.
I'm the girl that my friends ask for help from.
I'm the girl that gets perfect grades.
I'm the girl that is told she looks beautiful.
I'm the girl that people would kill to be.
But what they don't know is that that girl is killing me.
Two years ago
I was in a hospital room with my family
My mother was on the bed
They removed the life support
And she only had a few hours
Before her body would give in to the cancer
My relatives told me to sleep
So i lay on the old cardboards on the floor
Trying to give in to slumber but i couldnt
How could i when my mother was dying?
How could i close my eyes
Without the fear that it might be
The exact moment of my mother's last breath?
I love her more than anything
I wish that I was the one who had been ill
I wish I was the one that suffered
I wish I was the one with a few hours left
Goodbye mother, I love you
I will never forget you
I will never get over this
My heart still hurts
Maybe one day
I won't write about you
I'll write about someone new
I asked you how you were
You didn't reply
Because you found her
I didn't get say goodbye
I wrote this for you
So, if you're reading this, it's okay
There's nothing I can do
I can't ask you to stay
I expected this, I knew
I'm sending this message to you
And I'm hoping that it will get through
So, here's one last poem for you
You know that it bothers me so much
Because I told you too many times
I needed you to stop but you argued NO
If I really am that important to you,
why can’t you do this one thing that shall make me ease?
How could you show me that I am so unimportant?
How could you put that to be more important than me?
I admit that I have a problem
I am insecure
I admitted to you too many times
Why won’t you bear with me in this and just stop it?
If I am important for you
Help me ease
I needed you to help me ease
But you argued NO
So now I try to keep my silence
Because I’ve said enough
Here I write the things I want to say to you again
But I won’t say them again
As if I say them again, you would again argue NO
And that hurts
Now I need help to stay strong in my silence
Let me keep my silence
While I drift away
I hope you’ll realise that I’m drifting away
I hope you’ll miss me when I drifted away
As solstice fast approaches; aye ‘tis nigh
I wish I lived beside a mirrored lake
So when ‘tis frozen I could touch the sky
Soak up the double images. For sake
of capturing its beauty stored within
A myriad of stars would doubly shine,
and moon reflect her image as a twin
Then all this bounty surely would be mine
A double dose of mountains capped with snow
Two sets of scenes of winter wonderland
White wispy clouds with scarlet, all aglow
God’s grace and nature walking hand in hand
My lovers face reflecting on the ice
Oh joy, his vision would be twice as nice !
I want more than just holding your hand..
Can't you see in my eyes
A flame that desires.
My heart burns to touch your lips. Fore they are the filter of your thoughts.
And if I touch them they might give in.
Allowing me to get a glimpse
Of what you really think of me.
And if they won't speak
I would kiss them
Allowing them to express themself in movement .
Then I would tell if they meant to kiss me as well.
And if they won't kiss me.
I would share the silence.
And glare into those eyes
For they are like a mirror to mine
That same flame of forbidden desire burn in every pixel of that ice blue eyes.
Can't you see our friendship can be much more than it already is.
I’m sitting here
with mascara stained cheeks
after what should’ve been
an amazing night
yet here I am
with my head in a pillow
wondering where I went wrong
what happened to you
and to me
you keep asking
what I want you to do
in all reality
all I want is an
“I love you”
but you never give it
instead I get a
‘read at 10:37pm’
my walls are built tall and strong
from the previous glass shards of my many broken hearts,
melted together to form one strong shield,
i cannot let anyone as close as them.
and as this portrait of a man lingers by my side
i feel my walls fortifying.
and i know this harmless painting has been deemed
a weapon of mass destruction,
something so deadly that once it has infected my system
there can be no escape,
only a slow and painful loss of the air in my lungs
as my heart begins to crack and ultimately shatters far beyond repair,
the shards too small
to add to my wall protecting me from the poison of humankind.
is not worth the pain to me anymore.
Is this a test
To see how much I’ll take?
Are you pushing me to see
What will finally make me break?
Seeing if you can pass
The point of no return.
Tear down my walls
Then let our bridges burn.
Are you scared
Because I got too close?
Worried that you would
Inspire more prose?
Or are you just a self-serving jerk
Who had you’re fill?
Now tossing me aside
At your will.
I’m over it, I’m done.
You broke me.
Is this what you wanted?
What you hoped to see?
I'm 86 and just lost my 57 year old child
to breast cancer. I'm mourning in black and white
as is proper respect to the dead.
A colorless wreath on my door
spoke of my grief to others.
It's December and the world is alive
with Christmas. Bright lights and colors
and children giddy with excitement.
I keep seeing my girl in her grave.
My other children insist I carry on.
Forget the dead until Halloween.
They invade my home and vomit
Xmas decorations upon me.
My end can't be far off and I swear
on my deathbed I'll get in a final
word! Your sister was the kindest
child I had. She was my favorite.
Disclose what you know
Vague though it is
Accurate as a carpet bombing
Inhibition unfettered as you
Manufacture shoddily written scripts
Housewife with wi-fi and a lust for the
Dramatic so absent from your
Domestic situation so bucolic
Source of a desire to flee a barbed wire
Feedback hissing through your head
Thank God, that no foreign
Troop desecrates your soil, murders your
Neighbour: That you can
Leave when you wish, sleep under any
Star in any foreign sky
Unfortunate is the spirit which accepts being a
Maid; Mother; Medicore member of a chain without
Brother, do you know if my soul is garbage?
Pleasure drives my every impulse
Side by side with lust for recognition: A
drug whose grip I long to break like
Pottery sent too soon to the kiln
Unanimous in my rejection of ordinary, but my only
Threat upon threat keeps my paranoia
Operational, but is it that or merely
Anxiety at God's
Allocation of my crosses to bear? Why can I not
Translate His word, repurpose my spiritual
Battery for greater, nobler fates than
Shrink my inability to be exceptional: Let me
Taste the breath of angels
I wouldn’t say that I’m in love with you
More the idea of you
The memories, the emotion
The time spent together
That has all changed now
For you no longer look at me the same
The love that used to gleam in your eyes is gone
And all that is left is sour kisses
Placed upon my cheek
In the passing moments we have left together
it hits like lightning,
you don't know how and when.
stunned by its breathtaking light,
yet the sound of it
Each one stabbing at me.
My legs scarping against the floor as I walk,
my arms droop like a puppet that lost its strings,
but you know what,
this creature in human form,
that's come to my school,
trying to murder children so small, who haven't lived at all.
Who punched me so hard, I flew backwards what felt like 20 feet,
and who laughed in my face, as I fell beneath.
But it does not matter,
even though it should,
as my body scraped against hard wood.
All my body raged with pain,
but I stood up anyway,
because all the sorrow and bullying I have endured,
its wrong to let this creature rule.
So I stand, my body wilted and crinkled, under the weight of my wounds that have been sprinkled.
I cannot give up, I will not.
I started the sombre walk,
And just as I reached his gainly figure,
the flicker of my soul, starting to waver in the face of danger.
But I ignored it,
because of the other more brighter flickers of new lives.
So instead of blowing my candle,
I looked right into the eyes of the devil.
Looking everywhere for courage,
Instead of looking inside.
Struggling to stand,
Don't want the support.
Wasting away a life.
Don't know how to afford.
It isn't a bad thing,
Asking for help.
Want to concur the world,
Hoping to be blessed.
Accepting what life gives,
Doesn't mean a failure.
Imagine yourself a hero,
Don't kill the saviour.
Something felt wrong
I told you no
But you were so strong
I had no choice
I was only five years old
When all this began
How could you be so cold
You were supposed to protect me
Let’s play a game, hide and seek
I was to hide
I wasn’t to speak
You always found me
Hunted me like prey
Ripped off my clothes
As I began to pray
Clenching my eyes
Singing songs in my brain
Keeping my mouth shut
Pretending not to feel any pain
To scared to do anything more
For years you abused me
Until one day you were caught
I was finally free
Or so I thought
The memories of what you’ve done
Haunt me every time darkness replaces the sun
perhaps if you are
one of the few
still here, still seeking
one of the veterans of the
early word wars,
when the line between fellow poet
and human being was full of
tween those dots and dashes,
we all eagerly entered those places,
crossing over into
those human openings,
making poets into friends^
we were social for the humanity
patented in the very word
we critiqued wearing a flag
made from the fine fabric of fellowship,
crossing global borders and time zones,
with only a hand-made
constructed from the
tissues of our hearts
each one of us,
A Little Prince,
from other worlds,
ourselves together in a
we found companionship,
genuine in ways that
make me weep when I recall it,
so many aviators,
flying low, neath the radar screen,
speaking one language of a thousand dialects
the networking was spontaneous,
real hugs exchanged,
no ulterior purpose, no quantity of glory sought,
no favors traded,
there were friends,
we valued the first amendment of our lives,
the right to speak freely in poetry
I wish you had been there,
God is always above us all
Nurturing our heart and soul
Help us when we do fall
Gave us the greatest gift of all
I know it happened for a reason
Maybe its part of His decision
Maybe He gives you to me as my mission
Challenge accepted, will finish this soon
You’re religious, so am I
This is what i feel, i can’t lie
C’mon baby, lets fly so high
God will guide us, He owns the sky
I looked at you
And I thought,
you look exactly the same as the day you said “im leaving”
like you never said it
why are you still here?
You’re still the boy that held me
At my most vulnerable
At the most difficult time
At that time, I didn’t thought you’d see the end of this
But you didn’t
Until you made it a competition
Like it had a finish line
Like another was waiting in succession
You started running, left me with great weight
And this confusion
I couldn’t grasp the definition of goodbye
Like it’s a part of your scheme
On how to let go of your beautiful eyes
And, boy, how you did great.
We are one
We are one
Stumbling over joined sentences
Finishing each other's jokes
We are a ball of yarn that was once two,
So tangled and convoluted that we don't know where one begins and another ends.
I know your habits back to front
I know exactly what will make you feel better
Too many nights I have stayed up taking care of you
Too few have you done the same
When I need you most you're not there
I want to believe that I am fine
That I am fine with you
Being just like me
We love the same things
We laugh at the same jokes
We are one
But I lose myself in them
Maybe being one isn't a good thing
I wish you knew
How many dreams
I crushed because I wanted you to have them
I complete you