You don't answer
my text messages anymore,
something is wrong.

Are these emotions misplaced?
Has it been present all along?
I wish we could find out
Maybe we will
Just not together

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

In the Search of Water
I have drowned.

Yes we are all aging together and it is part of life. There are compensations for me: things not allowed in youth are permissable now. So i gets plenty of ice creams….

I have mailed Carol as I see I am on a big day out next Tuesday so am unable to come over for the meeting, and I am sorry.

I remembered proverbs and wrote the bit below. Please send my greetings to all and also from Rosey. Have a good summer and maybe see you in Port.

Lit up the room
Your warm smile
Kept people around you going
Your warm smile
Brightened up everyone's day
Your warm smile
Was reassurance

But slowly,
Your warm smile faded away

It is missed

I have found a place that's Sweeter Than Life, Fuller than wisdom, greater than ambition.

I found the place where peace sleeps in quiet rest, Unhinged by man's alarm ringings.

I found a place that I rest!

A place where darkness comes, but peace remains,  where Death comes but  life remains.

I found the golden place, the secret place, sometimes I call it the healing Place. Only if you find it then you have found it.

Directions to it  are encrypted and the  path is narrow. Do you want to know?

If I say there are Much tears and bruises in the journey.Would you want to know?

If i say to forget everything you know. Would you want to know?

My teachers didn't teach me this, my parents didn't envision it and the wise men never pictured it.

In my many journeys why didn't I see, it was right here in front of me staring and welcoming me to come In .

Right here in front of all of us staring and welcoming us to come in .

A dream
               is
                   like
                          a
                             staircase
                                              it
                                                 keeps
                                                           ­ going
                                                                ­        on
                                                      ­                       and
                                                                ­                    on
                                          ­                                                and
                                                                ­                                  on
                            ­                                                                 ­          until
                                                           ­                                                      you
                                                                ­                                        reach
                   ­                                                                 ­            the
                                                                ­                      very
                                      ­                                         top
                                                                ­  where
                                                        your
                                            dream
            ­                            is
                         waiting
                 for
         you
to
     take
              the
                    next
                             step
                                      so
                                           take
                                                    it

You found my video.

It wasn't that bad: yes, a bit awkward but I had never done that before.
You laughed at me... said I looked like a drug addict... Then you said it was just a joke - that you were having a giggle.... That I am too wrapped up in myself.

Why do I care so much? Why does it bother me to have your acceptance? Why do I look for other's approval instead of valuing my own opinion?

I am doing the self work: these questions I ask myself and allow the subconscious and conscious mind to guide.

I care because I love you.  Why do I love you?

Walking into Monday
head-on
the weekend has left me
and gone,
waiting for the car crash
to come
walking into Monday
head-on.

there's a strong smell of garlic,
to ward off the vampires?

She wears a cross,
I guess looking cross
has no effect.
and
It's quiet this morning
vacant seats match the faces
of people with places to go.

I too
am going somewhere,
but not where you'd expect,

the day like the cross
has little effect
on my final destination.

I start to read my
autobiography
the last chapter's
unwritten
but
that's up to me,
fighting off vampires
traveling on the
Jubilee.

got to eat them as they darken
reddened ruby to black constant opal
berries will rot quickly if you don’t
or they’ll taste real gooey and wierdy
if you let the drupelets’ colors get
unsynchronized like summer and fall

...why am i telling you this?
because i learned that the hard way
and the days go away in the gleam
heavy showers and peak-a-boo sun
the east barely bracing for the storm
and the sweetness decaying like the leaves

Whether the sun is warming my skin
Or the moon is laughing at its reflection in the river
Not a minute goes by that I don't think of you
When I wake up in the morning
I hope that one day you'll be laying next to me
And when I fall asleep
I dance with you through the ether
One day...
One day...

the perfect pace
is fast enough to grow
but slow enough to reflect
on the growing i didn’t
know i needed.
looking back
on the times i once
thought
didn’t affect me,
now i know,
that the perfect place
allows me to move
at the pace i needed;
push me further,
and reel me in
when i get too ahead
of myself.

As part of my ribs, my eyes proclaim your name
Estastic rays spreads in my body
As your gazellic light show me how to write poems
You dance in my chest

Where no one sees you
Only me, sees the sight of your art
Design like clouds above
In your undying light I learn how to love

And make poems proclaim your wonder
As you throb in my heart with beautiful lust
A voice that rings in my heart
A drumsound that rises the sleeping air

And echoing deeply as I worship your portrait
Your beauty ignites peace and love in me
As I genuflect on the sacred liquid of my lips
Love me now so everyone sees you're beautiful
As the hanging sky, only me resides in you

In freedom we swim as bird in wide bed of the sky
Spreading our wings in narrow **** paradise
Where everlasting leaves house us by
That my eyes impregnate the chambers of your womb

Written by
Martin Ijir

You tend to me
in a way
no one else has before,
letting me grow
anew.

This is my last poem
Until the next

My favorite color is sea foam
Read between my text

My favorite life is this one
It is quite the test

I have been too close to the sun
I have learned to love

living in the dark

i anchor
myself
to the back
of your mind
you wish
me away
but here
i still linger

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met

friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning

i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you

i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously

all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them

and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own

It's true,
the moon - she has kissed me
more times than I can remember.
Me - a little, lost soul in search of light.
She brightened up this soul
with her kisses and care
but wouldn't leave
the sky for me.

Our looks shine into
Sorrow’s cove.

Morning, a wandering elegance,
Strumming the dark,
Withering storm.

I am a tree
The love I gave you today
is my leaf
There are so many leaves
in me
I can give you one or two each day
I hope they'll grow
within you
so when the day I die,
I could offer
my last piece of love to you,
My leaves will continue to live and
You will never forget me.

If you are going to tell me that
I have not cared enough
If you are going to tell me that
I have not thought enough
If you are going to tell me that
I have not loved enough
well
maybe you’re right
but I can begin
right
now
and
it
will
be
worth
waiting
for.....

I wear false armor against a darkness that I profess to have pushed
Into a whimpering corner where it coils into itself and dies,
But really waits,
Yellow eyes muted in temporary resignation,
For chinks to appear in the illusion of hardened steel
That is actually feather light webbing around my heart
Painted swiftly in the silver
Haze of hope.

I call upon a greater light to solder these strands into something
Fearless that can
Take flight
And never again be caught by the claws of a black night,

But every time
This armor shows a hidden *****,
A careless gap,
And like the weakness near a dragon’s heart
Depression finds the space to shoot that all too familiar
Dart.

Once again,
Curled up against the door,
Megaphones of violence, screaming,
“Don’t you know you’ll never be more than a false warrior
In false armor,
Destroyed on the bathroom floor?!”

And I just don’t give a **** anymore,
And I almost give up, every time.

But this is not a poem about dying.

Beautiful soul, pick up your armor,
Paint it as steel,
Paint it as gold,
And breathe into it your own pure, unadulterated,
Inner light
That every time
Can make fragmented things
Whole.

I wear this fragile armor with pride. It is not as strong as I
Sometimes pretend it to be, but each time
I sew the pieces back together with my own light,
It becomes more beautiful to me.

You are all more beautiful to me.

Stitch along the seams of your brokenness and heal.

The blue
  
I saw a fish
Very small
It looked parrot
think about this,
but I remember the surgeon.
Blue
It took my hook
Fished it up
Its colors faded
A dead fish
Not enough
For a meal.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

The spiritual Man leads
Through
Unity in diversity.

The natural Man leads
By consensus.

The one provides a
Fragile peace
Dependent on serving
Mutual interests
The other provides
Lasting peace
Dependent on serving
Each other selflessly.

The one depends on
Mutual teamwork
The other depends on
Synergistic teamwork.

Spiritual leadership
Is
Servant leadership.
You are the servant of
All.
All are important
For we are all made
In the same image.

Go where
your imperfections
are celebrated.

boys look like boys
girls look like girls
boys look like girls
girls look like boys

people look like people

and that is all that I see

every single beautiful soul
worth living

especially the bus driver
who just flicked me off

she’s more deserving
than most.

Your touch was
e l e c t r i f y i n g

I feel it still
On my face
On my neck
On my arm
On my back

I can't even remember
What we said or
Where you touched, but
I feel it still,
And it was
e l e c t r i f y i n g —

You were just another mistake to learn.