The cold dead air
pressed against my skin
trying to get in
but maybe this time
I won't let it win

Such a peaceful time
Early morn is
To awaken
While the world
Is still sleeping
In
Catching the first
Sounds of silence
Perhaps the faint
Sounds of
Morning chimes
Or soft whispers
From stirring leafs
And the golden ball
Of fire
Felt from the sun
The stillness
Ah the stillness
Time for thinking
Gentle thoughts
Before the noise
Of day
Joins in

In the face of adversity
trying to get back my dignity
building up
and trying to not run down
never will I again wear a frown

May the winds of relentless fury
scar my face trying not to let me be
but I have been on these grounds before
oh have I
in the face of adversity

Been broken and rearranged
as evil creatures play their games
so damaged I have been
but with pure heart and soul
they will not win


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

Somedays i wish to be an open book
Somedays i wish to be a jammed lock
Somedays i wish to have company
Somedays i wish to have peace and solitude

Somedays i wish to be someone else
Somedays i wish to be with someone else
Somedays i wish to be thin air
Somedays i wish to be the spotlight

Somedays i wish to be harmless
Somedays i wish to be happy

It's become clear that I've been charred by the lighting
And left deafened by the thunder
And somewhere along this trail of clouds
I've failed you
But the more I breathe, the more I believe
That the storm we weather
Will always make us savor the blue

For now-
Go to sleep
And wake up a better person.

His face
The sight brings a smile to yours
His eyes
You can stare into them forever
His lips
You wish you can kiss them
His hands
You wish you can intertwine them with yours
His mind
It intrigues you
His soul
You can love it for eternity
His heart
It doesn't belong to you

He says to me,
"I want you",
and therefore i said to him
"But you don't need me, do you?"
He replies back,
"i need you yes"

Since, you've been gone
I can do what I want
There's so much this heart longs

Its been ten hours, since I last called
I don't know if you're still alive
In my head

Nothing dies, it's no surprise
After all the drinks and friends
You're still in my head

And then you came
After I have counted
All the stars...

This is my heartache
To bear witness, to listen
As one of my adult sons
Cries from a heartbreak
Only to me will they cry
As I make soothing noises

Let my silence teach you

what my words

did not

I say:
Do you want me to pretend you do not exist?

She says:
Do as you wish.

I perceive:
All I was once you moved onto the next,
A waste of breath.

What a mutual perception process,

You keep on running and now I have nothing but my beliefs.

And what do you have?
Your cup is empty

It would be full but...
You poke holes in all the words I speak

you never asked to read my poetry
maybe that was the sign.
i told you i wrote for fun,
you shrugged and moved on.

pony-tailed playmate
head tucked in her shirt
gazing steadily down
at her toes in the dirt

chaos tiptoes around her
naive oblivion
journeys in far away lands
just west of the meridian

watercolor fairy tales
bleeding outside the lines
unaware of the danger
unaware of the signs

let me sit with you, darling
in the dampened flower beds
and paint a new world
for us in our heads

Undress my heart
Let her feel the cold chill
Of November midnight winds
The howl of the coyote
Is music to her rhythm

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Life
                                                            ­    has
            a
                       funny
     way
                                           of
                                  
                                ruining

      
                                                      Lives.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

it is gray outside
of my window,

and it is also
gray in this room.



but outside,
the gray is obvious.

the clouds are
blocking out the sun.



and inside,
the gray is irrelevant
because you shine
so bright that

I am only ever
looking at you.



the world outside
fades away in here.

it is beautiful and
sunny and vibrant.



here, the stress of
the world outside
can't touch me.

I see no sadness
or pain or fear.



I only see you.
I only ever see you.

Close the window,
it's cold out
and start the fire,
I'm freezing

It's December
& I'm wrapped in you
before I learned
you're leaving

It's before I learned
the tender truth
that's leaning towards
forgiveness

When I would watch
the snowflakes fall
& you were mine
at Christmas