I wanted to learn

so last night my fourth grade teacher
tore my eyelids off

and sat me near a television screen
that showed my mother dying
over and over
and over again.

I left as a cavity
of a boy,

collapsing at the sound of passing cars

as I searched for a payphone where
I could speak to the static about Gabriel.

(where is he?)

When I look at my brother and father

I beg for my eyes to be caressed until they’re scarred

with every daytime matinee
and curtsy on the train platform

that built me into this mosaic
of a “man”.

Two soldiers
Let's celebrate
Let us run to that hill
Let us climb up the remains of that tank and sing
Let us drink tea under this burned tree
Smoke our last cigarettes
It is not every day that the war can make dead bodies and we are not with them

She claims it’s love.
Locking me inside an empty home,
Twisting my dreams into nightmares,
Stealing my tears,
Wasting my time.
It’s all love.
I don’t believe it.
I never did.

Dear Nicotine

Why do I feel like I need you

Like the air that I breathe.

You feel as good as oxygen

Yet

You are slowly killing me

A universe from nothing
water to land to sky and heavens
bones and flesh and heart and maybe soul
and if there's time a brain and love
always birth and death
war and peace and generations to fight on
famine and feasts and kingdoms and dark ages
live by the rules whatever they are
blame it all on me
I don't care
promise to die in the allotted time
keep everything a secret from everybody.

I dont know how to make this a poem.

C8H10N4O2  so  softly  calling
Feel  my  energy  level  falling
I­t  faintly  whispers  my name (psss)
But now I'm just stuck stalling     (uh)
I  try but just can't break  free        (so)
"How about some herbal tea?"     (no)
Your  suggestion  is  appalling  (ugh)
But  coffee?  I'm  al­ways  keen
Need that daily hit of caffeine

intentions go back and forth
I love you,
I love you nots.
this moment
alone,
we are silent.
a seat on my porch
and a chance to miss you so.
give in,
then release.
my memory labeled false,
just a kiss-
to feel a pulse
here,
in this moment,
who is going to be at fault?

thanks for deciding to live :)

I feel your pain
Only sought after for rain
Providing beauty that remains unwanted
Trying to bring others happiness
At the expense of your own

Oh, my Countess, how brave of thee
To welcome strays including me

i need one more of that kiss
you've burned into my memory,
some more of the warmth,
accustomed from within your arms.
I need you, i really do.

Flowers bloom in the cracks of the cobblestone,
their sweet scent swallowing the area.
Attracting onlookers like a moth to a flame.

Pastel petals strewn across the terrain.
A seemingly infinite ocean of colors
waves of flora descending down on me.

Roots span for miles,
pulsating currents weaved into the ground.
Reaching for hope.

the scent of incense
hangs heavy in the air
the constant murmer of voices
comes crashing like waves
but your eyes meet mine
and the faces disappear
the voices die,
all that remains
is an unspoken invitation
from my lips
willing yours to kiss mine
and yours happily
meet their request
leaving our love tasting
like oranges
tenderly plucked
from moonlight lips.

What’s the worst kinda pain after heartache he asked
“ A toothache”

Lips that have never been kissed
Hair that's never been brushed back
Cheeks that have never been caressed
Hands that have never been held

Yes, I know I dont need a boy
But it gets kind of lonely

she wants me for her wants
but needs me for nothing.

a women empowered
will only need her own.

so want her for those wants
and need her for nothing.

or you will find yourself
needing more than she can give.

alice,
would you send me butterflies tonight?
because i miss the doves.

there are days i forget your smile
i forget the way you said my name

i wish i hadn't cried the last time i saw you

I just have to look
at you
to feel it.

To know it
I have to look
away.

Like the pages
of a book
mid-tornado,

Fragments of
information, the pieces
all out of place.

Still,

I believe you
beg to be
read.

Today
I wore black
Because
Event hough
I am still breathing
I am no longer
Alive

-jt

I still remember the last time I saw you
and I remember the day I realized
it was really over

but life goes on, as things do
however, I still find myself
thinking about you

I’ve seen other people,
I’m sure you have too
but still, I really, truly do
myss you

the world is unjust
unready for you, little one.
just hold on
just one moment — wait,
please.

don’t go yet. wait
for me, my legs are slower
than they used to be.
brittle, you know.
you and i are both

getting older.
wait —
don’t go yet. stay
just one moment.
i’m not ready.

I was busy chasing someone else
when I knew the love dissipated, disappeared.

And then a little blue bird came flying from a big blue sky, bringing a message not on its leg, but in its chirp.

There was another who knew me,
and then he watched me,
and then, well,
I suppose he liked me.

Stress riddled into my veins
A drug leaving my head in the clouds
No one cares about your stress
Just study for the tests.
3 in one day
What a gift
Stress in my veins
But it takes a lot to **** me.

This word of the day
An experience of time
The briefest sort..
I wonder
If this old word
Contained a hint
Of time's illusion
When seen and heard
Standing alone
With hands and bells
On a village tower...

Maybe it's the faulty wiring of my circuits,
I don't seem to understand those around me,
I tell them don't trust me,
They say they love me,
But I will glitch, synapse misfire,
I'll become a villain in my program,
With no rhyme or reason,
I'll fail miserably to the hero,
That is my destiny,
But at least I'll know my fate,
Better than these faulty wires,
A maze of circuits that never know where to connect,
Is this what it's like to be human?..

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Leaky.

Grounded in amethyst.
Cold dew.
Pure mossy trees.
Slip unnoticed overgrown.
Love made on earthly floor.
Duplex Doors of the infinity.
Never failing to impress.





Garrett Johnson.

The sun is in her eyes as she glides
through the trees, her hair tangled
with ocean, and she is extraordinary.
Looking at her, I am stranded
in that musical way, only a leaf
floating on a wide, wide river.
She swims beneath.
Miles away, I hear the winds reciting
her name, and even in September, she is a summer
watching the rains appear, reappear,
birds flocking in confusion.
I close my eyes and line the pages
with constellations, see the stars murmuring
on her forehead. Gold glimmers
in front of her eyes, my eyes,
and I am no one, nowhere.

Paper faces and silicone smiles-
Where’d you get that mask, little girl?
Looks an awful lot like

me.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

I’m scared as f*ck
to want you.

But here
I am,

Still wanting you
anyway.

What if
You have been fighting
A losing battle
All along
What if
The silence
Within you
Is only
The calm
Before the strom
And
It is going to be a fight
You just cannot
Win

-jt

It was 4 am,
The world was asleep,
The stars were awake,
And just like every other night,
I thought of you,
Are you on the other side thinking of me too?

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.