After I looked at the sun
I could see nothing else

You took the cloud from the sky
Where else will it belong?

I heard that new homes
Are not easy to be found.

My heart beat so fast in aversion!
Bleeding in green and white!
If hatred eliminate men,
Then **** dry you up with its flames!

Were suffocating ourselves
           with our own
              plastic bag of denial.



Let us recycle our outdated
                                 baggage
and carry it another way.

My childhood
was the spin cycle
on high
and now the water is draining slowly
and the click of the machine after it settles
lets me open the door

And when I met you
       I had no idea
That all the seemingly small moments
Would collect like raindrops in a storm

        I didn’t event stand a chance

Swept away

         But ,oh, the ride was beautiful

Monotony is my solemn song
Like the beat of tired men
Marching on
Can’t fight it,  can’t stop it, there is no halt
Head down, keep the time
Feet high, all in line
Let the current take you
Given in to the hive
Monotony will crush you
But it makes it easier to die

With growing concern
I struggle to write
a poem about our love

our love was the look you gave me -
full of longing -

controlling me with your voice
and your legs,

until i collapsed, wild and hungry,
desolate and content,

every heartbeat seeking love,
every dream imagined.

You ***** me bare,
crawl under my skin,
and worm into my brain.
In a blink you’re mine,
I’m yours.
In a blink you’re gone,
I’m yours,
still.

I will sleep
In small tides of blue ocean
In little puddles of saddened muddy water
In dusty barren enclaves, dry
In high mountain crags of deep nothings
In shortened memory closets dark
In hard cold impersonal sidewalk crags
In personal corners of ordinary failure
And in the open air of anonymity.
I will sleep in all of these and more.
Forget me now, I sleep.

though coffee never
I could see in the corner
René Magritte, tacitus
handing me the lovers
lovers under a white quilt
he didn't bother
only my fingers
on the tiny postcard
induced the feeling of
evanescence
that night I was alone…
my venerated lover
which down the river flowing
initiated slowly
a strong concupiscence

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Yellow petals swept
In buttered popcorn piles
with resentful brooms

August burned quickly, incipient nostalgia
prematurely vanished, mellow and gentle
sea stone on the tiled table, cedar plank
with fish, sunset through the eye-slit window

thigh high in life and riding wherever life
takes me like a hopeless romantic

I still dream
of blue mountains rising
from the tail of a long night

And regard the prose
of dead poets
with dark eyes
on the hunt for a new lie.

And still absently hum time-worn melodies
of a silver dollar moon
mirrored in steel black water.
Not there for anyone.
Cool to the coming sun.

Are things so different now
that I am different?
A man of forty watching
strong winds push
unsuspecting rain.

When I read your words
I hear your voice and I wish
they were still for me

1:47 AM
26/5/19

oh, but look at what grew

all because of the dirt
that they once threw

It'll be easier that way. Our love
will destroy mighty rivers.

i never intended
to take apart
all the pieces
you glued back
together

Her eyes
reflect my moon.
In her eyes
it's always full.

and that is why
to be fool in love
is okay... I mean...
to smile for littlest reason
and sing lalala
the cheesy lines, PDA's
that's okay

but to fool your love
is never okay,
remember: you aren't a ****.








or are you? hmm

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

my father told me i should probably keep my pretty mouth shut as he sewed my lips together, but i ripped the thread. i guess his thread wasn't strong enough to keep me locked up forever.

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

i see the flyer at starbucks

"are you caucasian?
without mental health
and drug problems?"

wow
i don’t know the answer to any of these questions
is a jew a caucasian?
is the occasional *****, ****-slamming drunken rampage
a drug problem?
as for mental health
i’m a deadbeat poet and unpopular pop musician
i’ve got a job fighting death and boredom
and i just changed my facebook password to "eat ****"
my frustrations have driven weaker souls to homicide
but are these PROBLEMS?

she was the moon
radiating the night sky
and dancing among the stars

you were the darkness
the shadow that waxed and waned
through the phases of her life

she grew to believe
that your presence
is what made her whole

but like the full moon
she shone brightest
without you


x.