“This is my last time”,
I said 4 times ago
As I paint my brittle fingernails
Red with blood

it's like holding the world in your hands
and letting it slip from your grasp.
like owning the most beautiful, priceless
piece of artwork the universe will ever let their
eyes get a taste of, and letting it burn in the fire.
this is the emptiness they tried to warn us about.
it's burning aches in the middle of the night
because you can't quite close that wound.
it's constant pain that no amount of medicine
can fix.

He had pretty eyes
And seductive lips
He told me
That i turn him on
I just laugh it off
But little did he know
He had turn me on first

the primal spirit
exists in all of us
our coding makes it so
the hunter of past
lives inside you
do not forget
your power

When in love without a lover,
all one can do is write poetry,
talking over one’s heart.

Give us our Bailey bread
has a better ring to it than
the the line from the Lords
Prayer of the same rhyme.

Bailey's banana bread is
perfect for coeliacs and
drink drivers, but not so
good for active alcoholics.

white wings
gleaming in the sun

a flashing pendulum
swinging steadily

back and forth
across the field

a cloud of egrets
stalks the tumult

churning from
the tractor’s wake


Tom Spencer © 2019

I'm sorry to all the words
we did not say
and I'm sorry to you
for saying all the useless ones
that we did

-em vidar

I assume we are scared of death because we don’t want life to end

but Death wants to live too,

The sun has to go away
For the moon the be able to shine .

Your words are sharp yet mending

That enter my soul

That makes me enlighten and become crystal clear.

You're my all and savior Jesus Christ.

I've been dreaming about a girl
With silver hair and icy eyes,
With pink lips and good vibes,
With the softest smile and skinny thighs...
She was the sun ray that kissed your face
After the cruel winter haze.
She was the gracious lioness,
Almost like a royal Highness.

But she was just a con
Because, c'mon ,
She told me she loved me,
That she'll never leave me
And then I woke up and she was gone
And I was left alone from dusk 'till dawn.

i am back in town,
packed my bags and caught the train,
back to loving you.

Your absence tortures me but what can I do
You forgot everything , the energy between us was magic you know ,
maybe it was a fantasy
i don't know anymore , maybe is better this way
I love you? I hate you?
It  doesn't  matter because you are not here
everything was fine, loving you was easy but now I am alone

In case no one gets it,
i collect my excerpts
better
than i spell my prayer.
Spills my personal feelings
and trouble,
longer than i bow
on my knees.

i memorize every shame
and quote it
into a piece of paper,
the same stroke
they did to break
my bones.
Marks down
every of their tone
when i got yelled at,
being degraded.

In case no one gets it,
i use my fingertips to fight.
Being sure of my words,
but never myself.

They can take off my guts,
break down my sanity
into pieces of insecurity.
Yet i’m here to remain bold
until the last spill of ink,
and my pen
can no longer stand.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

i’m sorry this world
did not welcome you
with open arms

send me a letter
when you get back home

so i know that
you’re safe

Long road
To heven..
It is ending somewhere..
Dark road
To hell ..
It is leading sometimes.
Light road
To the sky..
It is flying somehow..
Curly road
To the moon.
It is bringing  you someone.
In your day
In your life.
In your dream.
To hug.
To love .
To kiss.
The gift of love ..
It is hard road..
..to your happiness..

peaking in wonder
your silk slip falls to the floor
as loves waiting ends

The little gnome had left the backyard.
For she had a different plan. She moved out.
I only wish I woulda gnome.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

it kills me inside to
watch you leave
so unexpectedly when
all i did was
care and love you.

we were perfect one day
and then the next day came
where we went our
separate ways.

I wish I were prettier
I wish I were younger
I wish I were smarter
I wish I was skinnier
I wish I did not have to love with all my heart
I wish someone would love me back
I wish that person would want to keep me and not just use me
I wish I could mean so much to someone
I wish I wasn't alone so **** much

I was too good for him.
He didn't deserve me.
So, god
Broke us up.
:-)

We know so much about each other
But we don’t know what the other’s face looks like

as my lover swims
in the blue waters
under the golden Sun
the birds sing a song of love.
she stands alone
perfectly
in a sea of pearls.
the Sun rays shine upon on her milky skin.
Neptune's kingdom was built for her

Stuck in your heart,
Not your fault that you're lurking around,
Swapping sides
And trying to hide
In the woods,
Around the trees
And something else you don't wanna to be.
I promise one day
I will find the way
To make you feel better,
To heal all your wounds,
To get rid of your haters,
Even if they only live in your head.

Feel it,
Feel the sound of my help
And accept.