I don't know why God gave me you to wrap yourself around me.
No one's embrace has ever been wide enough to cover the surface area of my pain.
No one's heart has been strong enough to carry around my guilt.
No one's eyes have been wise enough to see through my excuses.
Only you.
And for that, I thank God every day.

it’s a beautiful thing
this day and age
with bubbling permafrost
with drug-resistance
with obesity treatments
with technological advancements
with scientific discoveries
with silent wars
with blue lava
with bleeding glaciers
with divorce
with sensitivity
with my generation
of people believing
this new generation
is completely and
utterly clueless as a
common occurrence

but let’s think about
what these kids are
into nowadays.

let’s think about who
invented these inane
things for the kids.

my generation of people.

so the kids of today are
the ones who are ******
for liking the things
that we’ve created?

I’m sorry but we have to
be the ones who are obtuse
for believing such things,
oblivious for not
realizing them and
showing the world
we have
little or no imagination
anymore.

the generation before us
has lied to us and
thought us to lie
to the generation
after.

whether it’s the gods
or holidays
or what not.

the youth of the today
are autonomous.
they can not take
responsibility for
their actions nor do
they understand and
just go along
with the trends,
much like,
all the generations
before them
but we need a scapegoat
to cover up our own
farce implementations.

the truth of the matter is..
we’re all a little vacuous
in our own way
especially the ones with
an answer for everything.
living in an imperfect world
where there’s always room
for improvement
nothing for us
or against us
wrapped up in our
congratulatory
self-contradictory
and illogical theories
and as useless as
exploding appendix.

the lost generation
the interbellum generation
the silent generation
the baby boomers
generation x
the millennials

a strong admixture
of imbecility and
self-assurance
filled with belief
and unawareness
to a senseless world

like hate
like blame
like gossip
like jealousy
like being offended
like being impressive
like the punk rock dream
like hospital waiting rooms
like fundraisers and charity events
like your co-worker to the right and
the left of you
and their families
and their families before
them

our greatest creation
our strongest aide

to deconstruct

With other one
you'll know
you belong with the right one.

Needy
Exhausting
Valiant
Energizing
Rapturing

Giving
Open
Nice
N­auseating
Aggravating

Grand
Isolated
Vivacious
Extraordinary

Ye­arning
Obedient
Understanding

Ubiquitous
Passionate

Just another lone wolf
Trying to find her pack.

These days, these days
conflate a man,
Don't you listen to thee

I'm decibels on a hill
mistaken by sand,
My candid lunacy

Spurned one, spurned one,
take my hand,
Forever in company
Forever in company

He's sound asleep
But I am wide awake

The tighter his embrace
the more lonely I become

Trying to wipe away the tears
before the salty, fat drops reach his skin
revealing my darkest secrets

Revealing the loneliness that consumes me

The loneliness that haunts me

The loneliness that fails to be conquered...
even by the tenderness in his eyes

Revealing the loneliness...
that will lead to my demise

I open the book
Already enchanted with
its magical spell

I know I won't get to all
but ******, I'm gonna try
thumb up to every comment
up until the day I die

I can't react to every line and word
but ****** I can try
thumbs up to ever poet/poetess
maybe no one has, to cry

I'm just a singularity
but ****** all too ****
we, as a community
stand up, and hear the yell

I'm not you, and you're not me
but when you see thumbs down
chime in with words and thumbs
chase the trolls, outta HP town

swallowing
melting white
magic to relax me

I am lying in
a tight space in a
large machine

a soft rag
placed over my eyes
to fool me

my head lifted, tilted
and squeezed

held in place

soft songs I requested
playing in my ears

trying to drown out
the rattle and humming

of the invisible rays
entering and exiting me

sending signals to
the machine
that will read me

am I that obvious?

Softly close eyes
Before they rupture

They many dance inside your head
And beg to come out
But whatever you do
Don’t open.

Because if you do
People will notice
People will “care”

It’s too far gone for that.

Im sorry
Im sorry but their eyes are still closed too.
Does that make you feel better?

Binded by our blindness
It couldn’t get any worse

i'm not giving up
if i never had any hope at all

i'm worried about disappointing You
You care about me and that scares me
i'm unpredictable
i'm unstable
i'm unreliable

You are so perfect to me
i can't stand to watch you worry your beautiful head over me
i will always be okay
i promise.

Everything I see,
Turns into ideas.
Poems, paintings,
Music, art.
My life is full,
Unfinished.
Drafts everywhere.
Surrounded by
Unfinished paintings.
I Sometimes
Have to,
Clean it all up.
Delete, Erase,
Rip apart.
So you can go now.
I don't need you,
You're a
Worthless idea.
It's all
Worthless
Anyway

< >

we do not write poetry
we write mirrors
which are held up
to curious faces
who read
looking for their
own reflections

I beg for forgiveness,
as I sin every night,
but I can’t bare looking at the world each day,
knowing it will end,
maybe not for me,
but for someone else.

I can't walk
so I jump
thinking you'll be there
when I fail
to catch my skin
failing in pale

"I hope to arrive at my death, late, in love, and a little drunk"

I have scars
Down my arm
And up my legs
You’ll never see
Because I won’t let you close to me
I take the blade to my wrist
And I finally feel
The sorrow, helplessness and doubt leave for just a moment
But makes a permanent route to my bleeding heart
That people keep tearing apart
So I tattoo my skin
To show there’s a story within

i filled my notebooks with your words,
my canvases with your spirit

you're in my soul, my heart, my being
you eternally inspire me.

you may be gone,
but i still have you.

A million words

Would not bring

You back,I know

Because i tried.

A million tears,

Would not bring

You back,I know

Because i cried.

Sometimes in life,you just

Need a hug,No words,No advice,

Just a hug to make you feel better.

Paint me a picture
Of your skin
Does it bronze beneath the sun?
Or sizzle and blush
Like your cheeks
When you’re in love?
Is it soft to the touch
Like when your palms graze
The smooth surface of water?
Or rough around the edges
Like your favorite book
And its lovingly worn corners?
Does it melt in the heat
Like sweet syrupy treats
Dripping through your fingers?
Or does it welcome the winter
With wide open arms
As if greeting a lover?
Paint me a picture
Of your skin

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

Did I sleep?
Yes.
How many days?
30 years.

dont cross it
that invisible line
right there.
youre friends
just friends.
dont cross it.

Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe

The fluidity of words
Consecrating more than
A simple idea
Has slipped away

And what’s left are
Empty hands and
Silent mouths
Void of sophistication

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

"I'm fine,"
Is a lie
Because you left me
Dying inside

A damaged soul
needs time to heal and get up.
But it is often mistaken for a slain soldier
that lies in the gory battlefield
and trampled upon.

It's defeated, but it doesn't die
It remembers every feet that trod on it
But finds power in the struggle to overcome
the pain of being mistaken - deep within  
It fights another battle which it can't fail to win.