Oh well, another thought just set sail

Turn To Return
No obstacle is insurmountable if you have courage
No one can come in way to challenge or to obstruct
There is no hurdle my friend to feel to discourage
You are a wonderful soul to be on line to construct
Life my friend is a strange puzzle from birth to death
We have have the real intelligence of every turn to return
We should be extra careful and cautiousl about breath
Every proper action taken in difficulty is really job well done
God has created us all  with all love and affection
He remains with us from birth till death it is understood
Constant and consisitent struggle brings perfection
Let us be the emblem of light before we leave for good
Colonel Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright Oct 2020 Love Remains

Day by day I lose my followers.
But that's OK
Like I said before, I came here to learn from you, to see the worlds I can never see.

Every day, I read words

From A to Z
From sadness to happiness
From hatred to love
From defeat to victory
From loss to gain
From death to life
What do I want more than this...?

Like flies on stink.
Like hair on a gorilla.

The ghouls and goblins.
The rubberneckers. The media.

Here the camp.
Here the shrine.

They gasp. They cluck.
They repeat and repeat.

Until the next one.
Until they pick and move on.

Please,

                    If
                you
            s e e  m e
          c r y    do n't
          a  s   k    m e
               w h y

don't you get it?

You. Are. The. Reason. I . Want. To . Die.

You two look good together
Never imagined you'll look this better
Though a little jealous,
Wishing you the best

With your smiles now broader
And your laughter a bit louder,
Can't help it being jealous
But still wishing you the best

when you sleep it's like you never cried,

breathing soft and steady, wet cheeks dried.



when you sleep it's like you never lost,

boundaries weren't broken and lines weren't crossed.



when you sleep it's like you're still there,

and you still smile and you still care.



when you sleep you look young as I,

no crease in your brow and no old worn sigh.



and so if sleep is death just being shy,

is it still so wrong,

to wish

to die?

I watched you in the sky,
a sparkle of sublime
While neurons danced
In my head

There one day,
And gone the next.

Now I'm ashamed I do not
Think of you often.
Ashamed.

When I was a child,
I was taught poetry wasn't mild,
It was deep as the sea,
And it seemed truly unachievable for me.
I was taught poetry had to rhyme,
Every single line, every single time.
So poetry seemed out of my reach,
Like chasing a seagull down a beach,
Jumping ever so slightly away,
Or soaring into the sunny day.

So I never thrived for what I thought would,
No, Could
Never be.

I guess now I'm fixing the mistakes of past me.

Cycles of dawn and dusk pass,
creep around in long shadows
as emotions thaw.
I’m no longer trapped in
the tangled fibers of existence.
I am existence:
the definition of survival.
Former victim to the
relentless pulls of the universe
I now wear my own rings,
have my own orbit.
I dreamt myself a world:
full of meaning and purpose.

You ask for my thoughts on what I see,
my opinion, mademoiselle, is you put a spell on me

Now there were two of them
Separated between thousands
of read texts and timely
chats touched by sound
but not skin  
Awake in the others sleeping
Sleeping in the others awake  
Restless as they wait
Restless as they wait

We borrowed each other from the universe.
Nothing borrowed is meant to stay forever

Eyes black,
Watching my back,
Gun acock,
Face a rock.

Oh, so gracious,
To friends, loquacious,
Bowing deeply,
Ever so meekly.

Words sebaceous,
Ever vivacious,
Smiling sweetly,
"I am .. uniquely.. "

But, spouse salacious,
Being-mendacious,
Do you not know
What I undergo?

So fallacious,
Power-voracious,
Flirtatious, audacious,
You make us or break us.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

we sat together again
just like when we met
she drew on me
mushrooms and smiles
she wanted to be around me
even go trick or treating
but i still miss her

Sayang,
Sungguh pun kamu tidak lagi wujud dalam duniaku,
Rasa sayang ini terhadap kamu tidak pernah pudar,
Rasa sayang ini tulus buat kamu,
Walaupun kamu akan menepisnya secara rasionalnya pemikiran kamu,

Sayang,
Kasih ini menanti saat mu disisi ini lagi,
Walaupun buat seketika sahaja,
Kerana kasih ini sangat merindui sahabatnya — iaitu kamu,
Yang sering mendampingi suatu masa dahulu,

Sayang,
Aku harap kamu baik-baik aja di sana,
Sungguh pun kehadiran ku dalam duniamu tidak diingini lagi,
Namun aku harap suatu hari nanti kasih ini dapat melewati kamu,
Demi menghadiahkan rindu yang telah lama disimpan buat kamu.

Silent glances,
  lead to moments of exultation,
     for you're the one I dream of. . .

When our eyes meet,
  my heart skips a beat,
    take me to a land of imagination. . .

Oh the thrills,
   for a second you're the only one I think about
         bells snap me back into reality. . .

- ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Reincarnation

I think I have lived this life
a thousand times.
I was born, bred, and buried a prairie girl.
I still feel that connection and pull
in this daily life
of technology and disconnect
with the earth.
I have always felt close to the past
and the earth and animals and nature
and I believe in this unending circle of life.
Life beyond the stars too.
Maybe that’s why
I really don’t fit in here
at all.
I belong to the earth. The soil.
I belong to
Everything
beneath my feet.

Cigarettes and chewing gum,
pheromones and alcohol, decisions left unreversed.
Bike shed museum masterpiece.
Bus shelter, fascinating splay of life and scheduled delivery.

the entirety of my feeling is resting on my tongue,
asking for birth, release, freedom:

here at the border post, the guards have fled, and the memory dreamer refugees, previous detained, hesitantly, gingerly, step across a narrow invisibility, a legal fictionalization, courageously frightened, but words of “at last,” “if not now, when,” and “god bless” blend into a merging crescendo of “yes!”

the road chamfers, dusty gives way, all the traveller’s shoes, now wetted, stained and staining, make amusing sounds of connection and interaction - squishy, distinctive, known in every language, dialect -  unrealized but known, spoken, somehow comprehended.
 

why is this heaven wet? is truth moist? indeed, for this place is truthful, and sensory networks cross, senses are both heightened and bluntly realized- and this confusion delights in human land mines
exploding.

let me explain:
my tongue has eyes,
my tongue speaks the words we have in commonality,
my tongues hears your sounds,
my tongue penetrates parts of you
that no other-part touches in the
same way.  

though you might think this is simply ****** subterfuge, it is not.  

simply you need to understand how
deeply this human connects, in his way.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

It's time I bury the pain with my heart.
It's time I burn the peaces of hope.
It's time I let my love become a memory.
It's time I let go for I am the past now.
It's time I let my dream die.
It time for pain and the past to be my friends.

God why this way, why now and why me.
Because it's time. I have changed, I did everything for you. Yes but it's time and I am not coming back. I still need you.., you are my life, well I know but I can never come back and you know. But it's time for tomorrow to say hi and  you won't be here to see it.
It's time for your memories to be buried.
It's time for your words to be replaced.
It's time for love to love change.
It's time everything about you to be stored in one place. It's time for you to become no one. It's time you go away.

i cannot see you
beyond your silence
your scent fails me
beyond the walls
of your broken heart
i cannot sense you
beyond your absence
but you still draw me
into the willing void
of this broken spirit