One day I hope you understand
All the cuts and bruises
I laid on your heart
All the cruel words I spoke
The suffering I gave you.

One day I hope you understand
What it all meant
To me, to us
What was meant to be
This, my flaws and I
Lurching drunkenly down the crooked path
Unlit by darkness in dead of night.

I too, am searching
For the way but it's oh so dark
So difficult to find the light
The light which I would give
To you, over and over
A thousand times if I could in a thousand lives
I'm searching endlessly in darkness
If I could just give that moment to you
Just one moment of that
Pure joy, pure bliss,
One moment of that light
I'm sure it will be, I'm sure I'll find it
Somewhere, just to pass it on to you
So you could have it
Forever and ever.

And you, you would be lit so bright
Even in the midst of darkest night
I can see your shining face glisten
I promise it from my heart, listen -

If only I were to find the light
The light that would shine so bright
I search everywhere, I'm trying, I swear
High and low
Near and far
In and out.
But I ***** yet in darkness
For you, for you, my love.

"What is life?" She said.
  "A sharp knife" he whispered.

Everyday that you get to live is a chance for you to improve yourself and become a better person.

There is a hope in our children
when we birth their tiny hands
waiting for them to make their
first markings.

They are bluish, cloudless skies and
miracles, like magicians
out of thin air
waving wands coaxing
a future mother has been
dreaming of.

Everyday that dawns,
you slip away a little more.
The distant stare,
the apathetic eyes.
Your love is as dead
as the roses in
the trash.
Your heart is an
abyss that I'm
lost in forever.
Belladonna drew me in.
The poison kept me there.

In a world of dreamers,
are you awake or asleep?

In a realm of promises,
which do you keep?

In a land of tomorrows,
when does he beseech?

Within thoughts of conclusion,
does she retreat?

In the be all end all,
why does she screech.

I think we're all dead now,
we weep
we
weep.

in the most sensational ways

Facebook
YouTube
Hellopoetry
All the **** I scroll through
While I wait on you.
And I'm tired of all of it.
Get back
Get on
Get it done
Or get gone
I just want another hit.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

I WISH I COULD WRITE A POEM, SO PROFOUND SO CLEVER,

THAT KNOWING SAGES, WOULD QUOTE IT FOR AGES,

AND MY NAME WOULD LIVE ON FOREVER.

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

You don't have to be alone
To feel alone.
I still struggle with that
Despite how much I've grown.
I still have my friends,
My family, my fans.
But when I look down, all I see
are my empty hands.

You are not the love of my life,
You are the life of my love ❤️

To know you never watched
A single video of mine
Never read
A single poem
Never followed
A single link
These are the parts
That break my heart
Because you don't believe me
When I say I see you
Because you don't see me

An itchy spider lives in me,
right underneath my second skin.

She's waited, tense, expectantly for something dangerous
to finally draw towards her its claws and scratch straight down her spine.

Her fangs have naught to bite upon, so I must feed her well enough
on nerves, dry skin, and fingernails and songs about a violent sea.

If she dies, I might turn to stone.
An itchy spider lives in me.

shirtless screaming through
the heartland and I used
to smoke cigarettes
too.

she never wanted
to stay: the youth
she had
left demanded it.
now, I'll wager
she's somewhere
in an apartment with
some dandy that
wears sweater vests
to Thanksgiving dinner.

maybe she thinks
about me and my little
twisted heart every
now and again:
like when she's away
from the sweater vest
on the toilet
behind a locked door,
"be right out, babe!"
or toting groceries
through a parking lot
to her car,
or signaling a
left turn before
changing her mind
and deciding to
go straight instead.

and
maybe I need to
stop thinking
about her
especially after
three years
incommunicado

but what can I say?
I've never slept on
a bed of nails
I couldn't
dream on.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

i think that the most damaged people in the world
are the kindest
and the softest

because they know
that scabs can be picked
and you can bleed

In the deep corners of 3am,
I find her.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

"do you love me?" i asked with utmost uncertainty
he looked at me as he said, "sometimes."
unsettled, unsecured and in limbo, "no guarantee."
he repeated, "no guarantee... at all times."

The emptiness in my eyes,
The truth behind my lies,
The fall before my rise,
And the goodbyes;

It scares me.

The dark beneath my skin,
The light within my sins,
The voice that loudly sings,
And my broken wings;

It scares me.

The wounds I can't heal,
The pain I can't feel,
The loss I can't deal,
And when I am real;

It scares me.

The silence in my little talks,
The stillness in my moonlit walks,
The thought of separate ways,
And my numbered days;

It scares me.

The demons under my bed,
The words spinning in my head,
The blood in my sweat,
And my cold breath;

It scares me.

-Paras Bajaj #PoetrybyParas
Instagram : @mr.parasbajaj

if I become the reason behind your fall,
will you be my summer?
if I wear that red, lacy thing you like,
will you worship a sinner?

if I turn everything I touch into ash,
will you become my color?
if I give you temporary moments of bliss,
will you be mine forver?

I am a fly
attracted to your nacreous glow.

                                           Just swat me already.