3 THINGS I REALIZED..

1. You fear of spiders but you can carry a snake?
2. You're so good in singing and dancing but I didn't know you're not good in painting abstract, tho I love your confidence. You're proud of your artwork and you said for you, it's a masterpiece.
3. You would rather buy a furniture than build one..(You know the DIY thing).
Anyway, I like you still. You're human, after all. I like you more after I realized this. You're perfectly imperfect and that's what I like most.

We’ve had promises broken
Words left unspoken

Tears on our cheeks
Lonely weeks

And yet
It still surprised me when you left me.

The wind was steady in the yard, unheard,
A breath of silence, nothing stirred.
Empty, empty, the cool air blew,
It cut right through me—and my mind was you.

Winter white, gates of pearl,
I wonder where your hands unfurl,
There you are in the cold dead ground
While the soundless wind swirls round and round.

How could it be that the lacking air
Has more presence than you there?
The ache of loss is a vacant thing.
It's a mouth held open with no song to sing.

the moon is awake
as i close my eyes for the slumber
feeling indifferent to the ache
as the year slips off from december

every minute cannot be reversed
as the memories linger
should’ve left the wound be nursed
and be wrapped with a care so tender

regret unwavering
as my mouth is full words
from then i knew i failed expressing,
my deepest feelings were watchwords

why am i even writing about you?
it’s been 2 years since you’ve gone
isn’t it that it’s still true
that i’ll choose you only when i can’t carry on?

the sad truth is that i never carried on even when you’re gone.

I DON’T WANT ANYTHING
I JUST WANT
TO BE LEFT ALONE

I RESENT THAT YOU CARE

LET ME GO AND
TURN YOUR BACK ON ME
SO I CAN FIND MY PEACE

I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU

BUT IT’S AWFUL HARD
NOT TO GET YOU CAUGHT
IN MY CROSSFIRE OF PAIN

SO LEAVE ME ALONE

YOU’LL BE BETTER OFF
NOT WORRYING ABOUT ME

AND I’LL BE BETTER OFF
NOT HAVING TO RESTRAIN MY URGES
FOR YOUR SAKE

I COULD FINALLY MELT INTO MY ILLNESS
DRIPPING INTO ONE ANOTHER
UNTIL I’M UNRECOGNIZABLE

LET

ME

GO

PLEASE

YOU’D BEST BE ON YOUR WAY
OFF IN A SEPARATE DIRECTION
TOWARD BETTER THINGS AND PEOPLE

BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING
SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW
AND I’D LIKE TO REST SOON

playing hard to get
     - I like this game
     - it's my turn now

just don't look me in the eye... I'll lose.

if only my pillow could talk
maybe then, you'll understand me.

Someone asked me to draw
Draw what heartbreak looks like
I finally got tired of drawing a broken heart
And I started drawing you

You see the slump in my shoulders
the way I carry myself
the burdens of boulders
that threaten my health.

When you ask what's wrong
I pull up my guard
don't want your pity or sad song
won't tell you why life's hard.

So if you want to know
I'll bottle it inside
wrap up all remains in a black bow
and tell you I'm fine.

" Cut yourself"

Just a cut
Just a scratch
"What's that mark?"
"It was the cat."
Just an excuse
Just a lie
"What's with all the bracelets?"
" Just fashion, why?"
Just a tear
Just a scream
" Why were you crying?"
"Just a bad dream."
But it's not just a cut, or a tear, or a lie
It's 'just one more' until you die

Struggles in my mind
Rising sun now understands
Thunder in whispers.

Do you think a girl could love a boy who writes for her a million poems?  That's what I plan to do.

one day
i might forget
the things you did
to me

and one day
i might not hate you
anymore

but when that day comes
i’m afraid
i might love you
all over again

a.g

g̸̩̕e̶̥͝ț̷́̈́ ̶̪̞̞̂͒̉̍m̸̢͓͋́͆e̵̠̠̝̬͊̍̓ ̸̆͐̋ͅo̶̗̻̯̙̓̈́u̸͓͂̊͒t̵̯̠͎̳̊̓̊͝
̶̗̖̆ö̴͓̙͙̙́f̵̼͎̎̃ ̷̺̭͇̰̃̎̀̋t̵̙̪̼̜̅h̵̡̡͑͑i̸̪͕͕͒̌͆s̴͈͓̀̂́ ̶̞͗́͒s̵̢̡͈̺̈̓͑l̷̡͍̻̋͐̋͝ư̶̺̪̺͑̈́m̷̡̨̒̈́p̶̢̪͉̍̍
̸̢̗́́̑̈g̵̢̙͎̋̿͊̓͜e̷̍­̡̦̜͌t̸̗͈́́ ̷͕̜̈́̓̿m̶͙͐̓͊͒ẹ̵̍͐ ̶̜́̾͜o̷̡͕͋͜ǘ̸̟̎͋t̸̯̦̤̯͛͐̂ ̶͓̦̥͉͗͊͋o̴̲̅̓̒f̶̟̰̿̋ ̸͙̳̇͛t̶̛̬̓̈́̃ḧ̶̝͚́͂͛ǐ̸̤̮̩͕͊ş̵͚̼̼́ ̶̢̧̜̾m̷̢͉̜̰̽̃̾̋ǐ̸͖̯̍̊n̵͔̠̖͌d̷̖̠̝̏͝
̵̧̹̎̀ͅț̴̮̙̬͆͌̈́̓ḧ̸̨̢͙̱á̸͛͝͝­̜̻̠͎t̴̡̧̲̒̾͝ ̶̧̉ȉ̷͚͙̪̃̈ͅ ̶̫̃͋̈́̑t̴̡̜̀̋ȟ̸̡̨͍͓̍o̷͔̦̒͒ͅͅŭ̵͈̣͝͝g̷̗̜̟̐ḧ̴̢̦̋͐ṱ̴̙̈͗ ̸̡̛̬̜̇̀̓ẃ̸̡̺̖͋͘͝a̸̛̹̠̩͑s̷̀ͅ ̸̢̳̅̈́s̷̡͍̣͖̊́ú̴̫̗͝p̴̡̛̑p̶̲̋́̉̄ͅo̶͈̾̍̈́͘s̴͇̩̅̎̿͝e̶̥͒̐d̵̗̃ ̸̠̯̲͗͂̈́t̶̨̡̨̐̈́̌ͅo̵̧̯͌ ̴̗̤́b̵̡̫̟͗̂͐͘ḙ̴̉͝ͅ ̶̡͇̻̯͋̈k̷̢̭̹̾͗̓͝i̵͈̰̽́͋n̸̛͕̣̗̍͊ď̴̻̦͒̿
̵̨̯̮̖̽i̸͙̙͈̓̔̚ţ̷̰̞̪̿͑'̶̦͊­s̵̯̔̍́ ̷̳̎ͅm̵̡̟̔̓e̶̺̬̖̕ͅǎ̴̧̻̘͎̕͝n̸͍̋͂̊
̶̪̑̈̐ẘ̴́͝ͅh̸͕͖̤͉͗̂̕͝ę̶̦͉̥̆r̶̿̃­̹̂ḙ̶̹̙̄̃̀̓'̶͎͛͆͝s̵͉̓ ̶̛̤̏͂̾ţ̴͓̫̄̐́͒h̵̞̤̬̙̏̾̇̂e̸̼̼̔̎̓̚ ̶̡̰̪̇͆ḫ̵̪̰̠̇̄ȃ̷̧̰̗̔p̷̖̘͍̯̒͑ṕ̵̠̮̠̓̿̋i̴̧͉͒n̴͖̹͓̜͐͗̔ḛ̴͙̃s̵͈̐̇͐̇s­̵͔̆́̚̚ ̷̤̠̔̅̅̾t̴̲̘͍̽̿h̵̛̤͎̀̂͠à̸͉̝̔͠t̸͓̬̘̪̄̿͝ ̷̥͇͚̝̎̀͒i̶̠͍̳̭̒ ̸̠͔̑̑̉o̷̤̖͈̓̄͜n̵͍̱̙̏c̶̮̾̇̆͝ḙ̸̮͙̊̉ ̶̧̛̩̝̆͆h̴̨̽͝a̵̜̫̯͆̏d̶͚͉͗ͅ?̵͕̥̮̐̈́

From here to you I say
Writing is your healing,
Never let it get away.

I can’t
I can’t
I can’t
But I will
Do I even have a choice?

Why create a new world just for us
Then leave the place covered in dust
Why not clean up the remaining rust
Leave it for me?
Now I’ll clean it up

mental illness is the
most expensive thing
i've ever owned but
never wanted

A poet is no more than a person
A mother
A daughter
A lover  
Someone needing release
Or someone needing to recover


It’s the art they create when that ball of ink or stick of led dances on the canvas they so perfectly prepared.
And when the end result and their purpose become perfectly paired.

Wish for everyone-
All year 'round, not just Christmas
remember goodness

She was a throw away girl.
The one that was used.
She was a throw away girl.
So many times abused.
She was a throw away girl.

I wouldn't want to live forever.
Forever seems too much.
Too much pain and
too much sadness.
Too much work and
not enough happiness.

But there is one thing I would like to do forever,
and that is

L O V E

For I do not think that it is possible
to love
too much.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Maybe it’s time I cut the toxicity
out of my veins
Consuming everything good
turning it into pain
Why do I stay standing in the rain expecting not to get wet
I must be insane
There’s nothing to claim here
Just the same old game of lies and fears
The consuming darkness
Contagious from the heartless
Misunderstood from the message
We are afraid of what we have not learned the lesson
An unknown reality
A dimension of fallacy
Clockwork oranged
Conditioned my mentality
A coexistant fantasy
Uncontrolled brutality
A masochistic duality
Growing within
The mind of a man that used to be  
Thank god for forgiving my sin

I'm jealous of the rain
It gets close to you
Closer than I ever will
It touches your skin
It combs your hair
It comes when you're sad
It stays when you're happy
I love you but you don't love me
So I say
I'm jealous of the rain