at 4 in the
morning the sun
is never up
but i usually am

i worry
about things
that are out of
my control
even more about
things that are

get up early
when i work
and earlier
when i don’t
the older i get the
more i learn
sometimes you
need to cry it out

alone
at night
into your pillow
the blankets
wrapped all
around you

sometimes you
need to cry
and cry
and cry

until the morning
sun falls across
the tears dried
under your lashes

and the lump
in your throat has
dissolved so you can
breathe with ease

you need to get up
let hot water
wash it away
let the steam rising
from your mug soften
any sorrow left around
your morning eyes
take a deep breath
don’t mention it
to anyone

and
just
keep
going

i will
just
keep
going

It’s like ******
sundown, da bomb.

If we were meant to be
I wouldn’t be here
Crying.
If we were meant to be
You would be with her
Smiling.
If we were meant to be
I wouldn’t be hurting
Like I am
Now.
If only we were meant to be.

each of my poems is a commencent address,
depending on the day, the time or place,
either an ending or a beginning

a moment unique, we mark a changing,
by tossing/losing a hat we’ll never wear again,
or picking up a shovel to bury a parent
in earth and casket we cannot share

an operating room, shiny clean, with mercurial microbes
awaiting a new arriving inhabitant, to defend and attack,
or bidding farewell to a elder child born blood-deformed,
whose wingspan shortened by virtue of our own gene-rosity

commence the commencement.

take the iron from the grotesque irony,
the steel from the stealing away seconds,
the hum from the humble mumbling,  a disbelieving refusal,
the tears from the skin-rent tearing just
beginning a speech for the occasion and
ending with a prayer standing, by a gravestone

when you awake today, prepare a commencement
or a commence-not address

I love listening to songs I don't understand
I feel free and all my thoughts-
are swimming in my mind,
from who am I to what I ate today.

 All I want is- to close my eyes and create-
    my own story out of that song and share it with someone else.

I'll love you until..
Plankton stops going after the Krabby Patty formula
Sylvester stops trying to eat Tweety Bird
The Smurfs stop singing
Tom stops going after Jerry
Bugs Bunny stops saying "What's up Doc"


But why don't you feel the same?

You can never be just friends with someone you’re madly in love with.

I thought

we’ve been    through it all

but you            threw it all

 away.

-

nothing is left
                             now but
  
my broken pieces

I guess I'm the fool
To fall the way I do
Trying to get closer
Closer to you

I don't even know
How this is meant to go
Emotions, racing heartbeats
Forces still unknown

And I've tried, oh I've tried
To tell myself it's not true
But I know when I see you
There's only one thing
One thing I wanna do

you can't save a drowner, If he imagines himself an anchor

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

You taught me a lesson, and that was to never trust again.

Dahlias laugh like
you, swinging their heads.

You want to rub
over me, like a vast sea in wait,
linked with an island.

There was no reason
to script like Albert Camus.
But I was moving
out of line.

Would you be my best friend,
after I was asked to love
my rival?

No ghost name was
needed to follow the truth,
when you were being
counted.

Behind the red
clover lies a promise.
There was no malignancy.

So righteous are you
Pointing your divine finger
That you selfishly avoided
Your very own mirror

And so distracted
you will fall into the flames
You apparently so fear
For others

Everyone is equal here
In the eyes
Of our god.

I don't hate you,
I just hate the way
I lied to myself for you.

August burned quickly, incipient nostalgia
prematurely vanished, mellow and gentle
sea stone on the tiled table, cedar plank
with fish, sunset through the eye-slit window

thigh high in life and riding wherever life
takes me like a hopeless romantic

The mirror is my enemy
It shows me things way before I am prepared to accept them
And forces me to stare at a creation I deem inadequate.

in the beginning, all poems were formless

on blended knee, the approaching, raging humility
tempered by a gale force need, the forth coming pose of compose,
you have urgings, mostly in a blink of an eye, then gone notions,
the writing is so a losing effort, you turn the paper’s aperture
sideways hoping to get an inside straight insight, but the poem
refuses to come, the ****** delayed is torturous and the
poem birthing
even worse

so you revert to basics to give the formless a shape,
recalling  a child’s learning that in the beginning,
“the earth was formless and void,
darkness was over the surface of the deep,
and the Spirit of God was hovering
over the surface of the waters.…”

so you insert a single sheet of 20Lb bond paper,
sliding the typewriters carriage smooth swift  
over to the starting gate bell,
typing, laughing out loud:

In the beginning

I finally stuffed my qualms
in my oh! so sweaty palms
I walked up to you
and I said I do too

Never looked back
Anyway it all looks black
I only see colors
since touch did our fingers

I used to be so desperately afraid
Of seeing your face among the crowd
That our memories would never fade
And that you would always be around

But I don’t fear your ghost anymore
Or being cut by your bright blue eyes
Not our photographs all over the floor
Nor that it was nothing but pretty lies

For now that you’re 5000 miles away
I’m scared your shadows leave me too
So my heart will beg for them to stay
As a reminder that I once had you

painted of moonlight and silver and everything good
you were made to enchant, created for the sole purpose of being beautiful
swimming through the murky water, you were all i could see.

Her eyes
reflect my moon.
In her eyes
it's always full.

you were toffee to my teeth
initially tasted so sweet
soon sickly, twisted and knotted
to my soul you
stuck and rotted

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

You have so many people in you corner
but you’re fighting this fight alone.
It’s time to let those people help you.