Someone asked me today ...
       Do you even remember what it's like to fall in love that early in your life.?...
       "you were just a kid with out of reach dreams ...with an innocence about life that only be stolen with coming years and experience ".
       Do you even remember??

I actually don't remember. ..
     When you turn into my home?...
      When I first started noticing you?...
       When you become the core to my existence? ..
         When you stood out among the rest?
I don't remember. ..
         When or why I started craving the arguments we used to have?
          When you became the highlight of the day?
          Why I always went back to you?.
          When you became the centre of my gravity?.
I don't remember. ..

I just remember. ..
    That we used to live across the street from each other.
    That I grew up in your family as a member.
     That you were an aloof personality.
     That once I called you an arrogant with hostility.

I remember. ..
     Crying my eyes out on your shoulder. ..when the world was closing down.
I remember. ..
     Being surprised by your fierceness and the strength of your arms.
I remember. ..
     You pulling me upward and keeping me together...when my heart's about to gave out.
I remember. ..
    Losing myself but finding you in the end.
I remember. ..
    Being crazy scared about your reaction when I found the courage to confess.
I remember. ..
    Coming home when you said yes.

that boy with blue eyes
ice-cold rays of rising flames
how gentle they seemed

And we keep waiting,

waiting for our lives to begin,

when in fact they have already begun

In the darkest hour
Just before the dawn
My mind goes wild
Flies far away
Above the sky

Where my fingertips tickle
The little hairs on your neck
Where your smiling eyes
Read me between the lines

In that special place
Over the clouds
You wait for me

I believe

The same way I wait here
For you
To arrive

there are roses growing
from my hands
My doubt the seeds
Begging them to grow

There are roses climbing
up my arms
digging in my skin
but i am numb
to their thorns and beauty

There are roses growing
in my lungs
bloodied petals
filling my throat
and falling from my lips

Tears are sliding
down my cheeks
I've had enough
I am to weak

I look at you
and the feeling in my chest
is a delightful pain
I look at you
and my heart jumps
it lunges for your throat

colors flashing
beneath my lids
open them up
and i see blackness
hallucinogens
would be better than this
i don't understand
tell me what this is
kaleidoscopes
behind my eyes
ever-changing
like colored skies
someone, please explain
all these flashing colors
are bringing me pain
something's happening
these hues are breathing
pulsing and repeating
help me escape
gives me come cover
drape my sight
take away the colors

I changed the password to my account.

That night you looked a little different, your face was silent, your eyes were gloomy. I felt your soul heavy and I didn't know how to say "I'm here!"
I felt you were watching me, but I knew you didn't really see me.
I would have liked to nest in your soul, or better to have exchanged souls to know each other inside out.
I don't want to hug you anymore only if you love me...

It might not be the right thing to do,
But it's the thing I wanna do.
And even though it would be better for me,
I can't live knowing I had this option too.

I'm a slub on the selvedge,
A fish in flooded fields
Hammering on water
A sower of sins and seeds.

The day seems longer,
Than the night.
I'm jellied in moulds
Shaking outta sight.

I've jumped into a corner
With death, still, so far away,
Listening to the dialing tone
Holds and leads me astray.

I'm a slub on the selvedge
The patterns just a blur.
Searching for long lost threads
That weave back to the way we were.

I lost myself
Living in a prison of your creation
But when I found me
I found beauty and zest

remember to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever
ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever

compare yourself

God's favorite work.
Sent from birth to grace the earth.
Unlimited worth.

Of course I care
How can I not?
I am designed to love you

Each
Day
I
Pray
To slay
My depression.
Never been a quitter,
But I’d like to quit this obsession.
This obsession with my sadness.
And with my social status.
It’s like I fetishize the madness
Endlessly raging
Inside of my soul.
And I swear I don’t have
A place to just go
And lay low
For a while.

A place where I don’t
Have
To
Fake
A
Smile.

As the call ended
So did we
Between our phones
Not only the connection broke
But also the hearts,
that were connected as well

cold numbs my fingers
dries my skin
freezes with the blight of uncertainty
all of my soul within
darkness is its ally
slyly insinuating
dulling all understanding
complicit in
a shutdown of the senses
clouding with hopeless tears
my eyes bright lenses

ever so clever

the wind toys with the weather

observing 'god' sway

if feeling could write,

if emotions could paint,

we'd all be drowning

in acrylic and ink

Because the earth’s round
Doesn’t mean it’s  having a ball.

Because waves crash
Doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control.

Because the sea is deep
Doesn’t mean that it’s thoughtful

Because land meets the sea
Doesn’t mean that they agree

Because you float my boat
Doesn’t make me the captain.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

the wrong one
will find you in peace
and end up leaving you in pieces

only the right one
can find you in pieces
and guide you to peace

Once upon a time
Everything was fine,
Once upon a time,
Once upon a time.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.