like the snow
in Spring

we vanish
into the earth

and touch
the one reality

Hidden in the corners
are multiplied feelings
painfully shattering the edges
pleading for freedom
wishful thinking to be rounded
suitably, infinitely flowing
and bravely growing in circles.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

black crow bird
pecks road ****.

pheasant.

haute cuisine.

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

there’s a seed I planted a while ago.
I have watered it every day,
some days more, some days less.

there have been heat waves and thunderstorms,
heavy rains and snow.
and as the seasons change,
the flower has become stronger,
it continues to grow.

and as I look at my roots today,
I realise I‘m no longer just a seed,
here I am, in full bloom, indeed.

- gio

I like to frolic im fields
Laced with landmines.

I like to take bubble baths
With curling irons, plugged in.  

I like to walk alleys
Naked at night.

I like to fast.
Indefinitely.

I like look in the mirror
And see someone else.

I like to think about these things
As if they were true.

My head hurts
I'm seeing double and
I don't want to know
it occured even once

So turn off the lights
Draw the curtains
Blackout the mirrors
Sweep it under the carpet
Cover my ears
Shhhh, don't make a sound

Maybe, just maybe
it will fade away.....

if ever

you don’t

feel

like you have a home,

pull me close,

wrap your arms around me,

rest your head on my chest,

close your eyes,

and feel the warmth of the fireplace

resonating from within my heart.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

I broke too much
of myself
thinking someone
could fix me.

I should have not
turned myself
to pieces
in the first place.

Because no one
would ever keep
a broken mirror
in their pockets.

to love or to be loved?

Wrap me up in your words
Bury me in the warmth of you
Until I’m left with your scent for days
As I fall in love with you all over again

you gave me a word to hold onto
it got me through the night
felt nice for a while
but we both know this isn't right
keeping your distance is a crime
I know this by the hurt in my chest
someone's placed you here in front of
me as a torturing test
you've put a gun to my head and I'm asking to die
for the sake of being dead
what I would do for you to crawl out of her
and into my bed

black as the night sky
brown as flapjacks buttered and syrupy
peach as a peach farm tree
red as my son’s skinned knee
thick as an alligator
thin as a high-school waiter
acned and wrinkled
old and pickled
fresh as a baby’s bottom
fallen as the leaves in autumn
every mole, rash and blush
is lush with life
and hasn’t been touched
by a doctor’s knife
aging isn’t flawless
it’s beautiful

Today I experienced my fall
I looked in the mirror and growled
I look like you and I dont want to
I tried to dye my hair
I've been waiting too for months
But nothing happened
No matter how hard I try
I look like the wolf

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

i do not believe in god
but i do believe in poetry
and for me
maybe poetry is prayer
and the universe
is an unwavering ear
in the shape of a god

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

I'm not interested in extensiveemployeebenefitsincludinghealthinsuranceapensionschemean­danallencompassingsenseofdreadeverytimeyousetyouralarmclock.
But I haven't grown up yet.

You would think that printing all my recollections of you,
and shelving poems until my heart's ink ran dry,
would erase your umbra from my mind.
But you, in all your symmetry, are still there,
reverberating within me like the echoes of my footsteps on your stairs.

I walk alone now, our two shadows becoming one,
and I still can't get used to that
nor can I slight the gaps between my fingers where yours belong.

I can't bring myself to re-watch the shows we viewed together
without that black leather couch and our legs intertwined,
my eyes forecast their mistiness, you're all they remember.

You're alive in my bones
when I listen to that song,
and I must confess
that your warmth is still pressed
within the stitches of my favourite peach dress,
and I sample pieces of you
when I'm savouring your breakfast food,
you're the nicotine in my lungs, you're laced in B&H Gold,
You're the reason why I don't smoke anymore.

The ocean I put between us couldn't lead your ghost astray,
I thought you couldn't catch me in a land 3000 miles away,
yet you're noticeably there,
in the place you've never been,
against my very philosophy,
I carry you with me.


Copyright © 2021 by S. Y. Kalindara. All rights reserved.

If I gave you my soul,
would you read each page?
Scribble notes of interest
and know me.
Would you take the time,
to help tape the seams?
Would you mend,
the fragility of my soul?
It tears and rips,
easily, emotionally.

Ragingly mad
Obviously depressed
Reveals secretly that
I'm coming undone

The torturous divide
Between this waking lie
And the quiet inner life

A worrisome mind

And now I'm
Googling Suicide

Take me with you
when you depart
when your stars go
supernova

will you carry me
into darkest nights
Wrapped up in galaxies
celestial

© FaerieFoxPoetry

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

Trying to get
over someone
you never had?

Yeah,
that's the worst
kind of struggle.

B.K.