If I could be the moon
I would not shine, but
My grey dusty bones would spin
Endless

Let me pull you in, my ocean
Let me push you away, my sea
Let me stay in orbit, my bittersweet gravity

I am alone
Do not look up at me
You will not see my dark side weep

The words you send
Make my mouth bend
Then I tend
To think of the heart you lend
to me, your friend
whos heart you mend
please let this never end

I stay hidden in shady woods,

As my world is filled with dark;

My world is filled with hawk...

I search for happiness...

I couldn't find any light;

Yet, I flow as a brook...

To find my role in this life...

Knees tucked to my chest
Wrap me in barbed wire and
Squeeze until I bleed
Until there's nothing left of me

Hang me by my feet
From the ceiling like a centerpiece
Make me useful and beautiful
Give purpose to this emptiness

Blood droplets beat the table
Let it soak in and stain the wood crimson
Call it art and leave it visible
Claim this mess we made intentional

When the rot begins to set
Just coat me in resin and metal
Bring worth to this worthlessness
Give this broken life eternal purpose

Thinking about getting up,
this may take some time.

slow in the morning
before the coffee kicks in
but
when it happens
I'm as sharp as a pin,

and I know this,
that these moments are torments
designed to make us move,

there is no rest for the wicked.

I am creeping morning glories
intensely blue, tripping you on the kitchen floor
I am an app unsupported vanishing to the ether there
I want to feel the earth & I am drowning in the empty air
hold me down, pin me down to the ground
with its fragrant softness & riverstones
you become more & more as earth
as my grip on it is lost
the silver moon burns my skin
creating blue shadows in my heart
as dancing winds blow within

September 27th
You died today
Your life just slipped away
Maybe souls exist and I’ll see you again
Pretty lies we tell ourselves but it’s all pretend
My tethers to this world are growing thin
I often wonder why the say suicides a sin
The world with out you has grown a little grim
I know I need time to grieve
But it’s hard when there’s no time to breath

i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her on
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like i
need to make her stay cause
she will

My grandpa
             Words he gave
                            To me once upon a full moon
“Son” he said
            “When you go into this life”
“Remember, that love is a language “
             “So find, my son, find someone”
                     “Who speaks your language “
      “So you don’t have to translate your soul”
                                   Hmmm.

is life just a cycle of looking down at your feet and realizing that you really need to clip your toenails, but deciding that you’ll do it later because you can’t be bothered in that moment, and then 6 days pass, and you still haven’t clipped your toenails. and then after 2 weeks, you finally pick up the nail clipper and do what you said you would 14 days ago. a moment of relief. and then you go upstairs and look at your laundry pile and decide you’ll tackle that later.

come back,
that's all i request

why'd you
have to go


i hate being in love
with someone i
can't have

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

one day I will be oh-
so tall and with my gathered tears
i will build a water wall
nor paddle nor wind for I
will be flying
with a cast of all those with prisoner tongues marching behind me.

Confession
"Problem is with me "

Confession
"Done Sin - Loved too much"

Hear My Confession Lord !
Not for forgiveness
But for Punishment...

If a man needs you to believe a lie,
He will often say, "trust me."

If a man needs you to believe the truth,
He will speak it.

My heart is inflammable,
A different type of stable,
But I don't remember any label
Telling you it's playable.

(It's so unbelievable)

They say “know when to quit”
but I haven’t yet

Moving forward into days ahead,
the flesh melts off me
with a velocity I don’t have
but expel anyway

I only want two things in this world,
You and your love.
30/9/2020

I want
to be the one your pen
and paper talk about

Rays of sun
   used to
Wake me up
Every    morning
It was really kind of
Annoying
Their light would
Burn my eyes, show me
         The dust in the air
But...

When it was cold, and dark,
And I would cry,
                                 ..try...
               ...to stare at the stars...
Through the thick fog

I longed for that warmth
                       Missed it,
                                          For so long.....


                                      When they returned
                                                       I spent my time getting burned
And pretending I knew
                       What to do...
                                     ...what not to do wrong.

        I closed my eyes,
                                    to escape
                                                   for a second
...because I was second-guessing...
And in the blink of an eye,
                                          the night filled the sky
                                      
                                     My rays of sun were missing.

SUN
CANNOT               ...Besides, DUST is far more          DETAINED
BE                                          Captivating.    

2019 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

I can't seem to finish a poem these days
They are all about you.
Thinking about the message that says

"I
Love
You".

Love. Words. Love.
All we have is words, all we ever had was words, though all we ever have is love.
Was thinking of saying that I loved you calling me golden, but the fact is you never called me at all.
And yet

"I
Love
You".

The idea.
What could have been, what we could have been. What we were. What we are.?

I
Love
You.

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

I attend college in an apocalypse
I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist
Paying these grandiose establishments
So they can give me a piece of paper
A modern day participation award

Sit with me awhile;
Talk to me.
Tell me everything you would have done
If I was still alive

Sit with me awhile;
Cry with me.
There’s no shame in expressing your emotions
If you’re feeling sad.

Sit with me awhile;
Listen to me.
For even though I’m lying here, silent, remember
What I would have said.

Sit with me awhile;
Just sit with me.
Sometimes you need no words, or tears, or anything
Except my company.