I had to cut you off
not from my life
but from the way you use me,
as your drug
your medication
your therapist
your twelve-step program
because your process of healing,
has become your addiction


©L.F.

I'm tired of pretending day after day,
     So lost in my lies I can't find my way...
It drains your energy, thinking you're okay
     When you can't get out of bed to face the day...
What happens when I believe the lie?
      That's the goal right?
To feel until you can feel no more.
     Born to die.
Life until death, chaos until calm.
     Restlessness until you can pace no more.
You want the real me? Here I am in all my disappointing failure.
     Welcome to life, pretend until it becomes your reality.

You don’t see me the same way as you used to,
And it’s all because of me,
I wanted too much too quickly
I wanted you to want me.

It was just such a rare feeling
So I knew it was real
Out of everyone I had met
You made my heart heal

I didn’t know how to feel
I didn’t know why
But I guess... it’s okay
Atleast were under the same sky.

I find myself chasing the tail of the meteor that was once my rock.

Molecules devoted to wings
find the universe in shadows and become  cancer
because they were meant to sing.  Just For anything.  
And dreaming of falling they
know depths so twilight they blacken lungs feathering and dip
them in eternity.  Because God
never had to breathe.
The
seas are liquid Gravity built for Believing and we vacation beside Infinity.  And we pitch tents and bathing suits and build castles with tiny hands and we learn to scream.  
Like stars that appear to twinkle beneath the jet stream.

When will my peace come?
When would I be at ease instead of far from?
When would these tides subside?
When will peace by my heart abide?
When will fires die?
When will rest my head to lie?
When will tears not fall?
When will this storm heed its call?
When will my soul ravish in simplicity?
When will my mind rid its negativity?
When will peace lay beside me?
When will calm my eyes to see?
When will I proclaim to be,
With peace within and for me.

i think i might have finally gotten it right.
my breathing is steady,
my smile is wide,
and my worries dissipate
more and more
day by day.

You are a garden,
make the promise,
to feed yourself.
Tend your bed.

Surround yourself,
with fertile nourishment.
Swallow in the rays,
of positive energy.

Know what you are not.  
Eliminate the weeds,
the friends and blood,
stealing what gives you life,
what makes you tick.

Know your companions.
Grow and deepen,
your roots with them.
Share the glorious light.

Open your palms, leaves,
to yourself.
Grow, rise, and promise,

to reach to the sky.

He tells me to live more care-free
But I thought I was the one doing so all along

August never ends
in grace.
It reminds us of the passing time
and it always hurts.

August makes us commit
inner suicide,
before September hits
and gives us a second life.

August never ends
in grace.

In August
Death puts a smile
only on dead man's face.

You used to adore me
Then I finally let you in
And now all you see
Are my flaws and insecurities

Is it all in my head
Or did you prove myself right
Is it because of what I said
Or what I did that night

I was so stupid
I was so foolish
I knew I shouldn’t have done it
But couldn’t help and be selfish

All I wanted was to express
And now I’m depressed
Because of the excess
Actions I could’ve accessed

I can be obsessive
But please see my intentions
I was trying to be impressive
But all it caused was tension

This is my flaw, I know
I just wanted to show
All the love that you deserve
But it’s that I couldn’t preserve

I told myself I wasn't going to drink today,
Yet by noon I was already bored
And found myself on my way to the corner store.
3 tall boys down
5 more to go.
Maybe tomorrow.

Being real is
the simplest
form of honesty.

the word "love"
does not exist
in the dictionary
that is me

I walk upon the flames of my regrets
Rip up the roots of consciousness
from the darkened depths

Someday when and where the river
kisses the sea
When all the stars chose to fall
And there is no longer a gift from the sun
Then I will let leaf

I want to crush up Australia,
turn it to a pebble,
place it in my pocket and drop
the coastline in your palm,
all the coral
all the color.

All the dust;
the red,
voices so far away from us-
I’ll capture the sound,
the whimsy for our ears.

Do you see the water?
Flitting by the outlines of trees once alive-
the tired grey and the shimmering azure.
Do you see how it always hugs the land?

I’ll shower it,
I’ll trace the taproots,
down to every underground
that’s ever existed in imagination,
up to every cloud.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

And just for a second
I thought we were real

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love you because
You mourn a basement flat I never knew
Because your hair resembles monastery gold
And because you love old poems

I love you because
You listen to the words of tiny children
And because your belly is a mountain
You let me climb whenever it pleases me

I love you because
Together naked we are able to defy mirrors
You gave me the son I always wanted and because
I am unable to find the perfect words to fill this page

i give my all and give up everything for everyone
I **** myself trying to be there for everyone
I’m a shell of what I once was for trying to help everyone
But I do not get the same in return

Someone did you wrong,
like the lyrics to a country song.
Someone hardened your heart,
broken inside and torn apart.

Someone betrayed your trust,
what you thought was love to him was lust.
Someone stole your pureness,
leaving you feeling alone and powerless.

To get your power back,
allow your heart to get back on track.
Don't wait for the apology he won't give,
liberate yourself by learning to forgive.

we don't know what we've got
until it's gone

we don't know what's right
until it's wrong

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

It’s funny, you see
my grandma happily, delightedly,
showed me her ring today.
“It’s made from a bullet,” she said.
It’s made from a
BULLET.
Guns and wounds worn on the sweet finger
Of an innocent woman looking for
Diamonds
Beauty
WAR.
Death surrounding a small jewel,
Concealing the rips and tears and
heart
breaks
Of the DEAD.
Nothing is free in this world, we hear
Not even DEATH sold in the shape of
A circle.
The diamond glistens in the shining light,
Burns in the raging sun,
SCREAMS
At the ones who’ve held it once before,
TERRIFYING, DEATHLY, beautiful.

It's that moment
when the pieces
of the puzzle
all combine.

And you see a
glorious picture
that you doubted
that you'd find.

And then after
when the pieces
are inspected
each with care.

You see purpose
and see meaning
each too valuable
to spare.

You found me in darkness
You held me
Despite cutting edges
You stilled me
A lover of dark
Though a beacon of light
You're a paradox, a saint
An angel
Wings ebony bright

What could I give you?
A lone wolf in the night
I live in shadows and blood
While a raven's
Gentle wings
Eclipse heavens height
Your own would disown you
If only truth they could see
What could I give
If I offered
What would there be
All I offer is pain
My Fire
And sweet misery

It is forbidden
So I will guard you
Silently
From my station below
Love you as dark to the moon
Through from a safe distance might
For our fire would be insatiable
Like the sun
Rivaling stars
Burning the night

I will wait, I will yearn
Continue and fight
For a day
The forbidden
May step into light

Realist I am
Some dreams I may never see
But if the leviathan rises
To end dreamers in all
Waiting in depths below
I'll be there
To shield you
Catch you when you fall
The only happy ending
From my vantage can see
Burnt in fur and tattered wing
Two broken souls
I will love you in darkness
The forbidden set free

some people find heaven in
a smell, a taste or a sound
i found heaven in
you,
my love