There are approximately 470,000 words in the English language

4 syllables in “Hey, How are you?”

9 letters in “Beautiful”

3 words in “I love you”

And still

I can’t find a single thing to say

When your smile accidentally makes my day.

Sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga ako umiinom ng alak para makatakas sa lungkot at sa mga ideyang baka pwede ba o baka pwede pa.

Kahit hindi ako lango ay ganon pa rin naman. Wala namang pagkakaiba.

Napapadalas lang, sapagkat nakakatulog ako nang hindi ka iniisip;
Nakakatulog na hindi ka laman ng bawat panaginip.
At pagsapit ng umaga, maaalala na naman kita.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

Once it was illegal then I got a prescription. Now my problems are given over to medication. I take a pill to get up I take a pill to lay down. I take a pill for any pain that comes around. I have a pill to make me happy, there are ones that can make me sad. My world is sometimes hazy, other times it is crystal clear. I have pills to deal with hate, in have pills to cure my fears. Thanks to modern chemistry there is nothing I can't cure. So as I live in my augmented world, please don't feel bad for me. In fact just don't be offended that I have been drugged into complacency.

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

Depression sales into bay
written April 5th, 2021

Depression sales into the bay
our little town is built on
it is a frequent but unwelcome visitor
ominous, malevolent and stifling

Often it arrives in the night
creeping in on panther's toe pads
its sails blocking out the sun

Plants and people sit
in suspended animation
trying to carry on

Some boldly
give depression the finger
as they walk by

While others withdraw
to the sanitarium
dishes are left undone
and children run wild in the streets

Scientists are researching a vaccine
the librarian searches in books
soldiers plan attacks (which fail)
the priest prays and does exorcisms
the green witch burns toy ships in effigy
all hoping to find the answer

Until that day
we fight
we submit
we carry on
waiting
for depression
to sale out of
our petty little bay.

One step walk
thousands of smiles.
One rose flower
sing tons of birds.
Bask in pop out
first thing at the sunrise!

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

I wish, I wish
I never played your game
I wish, I wish
I never knew your name
I wish, I wish
I never abandoned *******
I wish, I wish
I could get rid of this pain,
clear up my brain
And cleanse these veins
I wish, I wish
I wasn't going insane

I wish the world would be free
And black and white unite
And simply let life be
And not have to fight

We are the only species on earth
That pray upon each other
From when we come in birth
To when we leave our mother

So stop right now
And think
We should all just vow
To put it all in ink

And make every effort
To live together in peace
Before all our lives just cease
From foes and fights and disease!

There are tragedies throughout the ages.
The adage is what comes goes.  God knows
this is true. But don't be blue,
because love is right around the corner;  
just take the turn. If you are burned,
love will be your salve. Blue skies
will stop your crying, dying
in your hugs and laughter.
After a few moments, you'll forget
your sorrows. Tomorrow is another day.
Come to me, my love. You are the dove
that flies in my heart. Hold me close.
Never let me go. I love you so.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

I have never been one
to eat my words,
no—

I regurgitate
and spit them
back into your eye.

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

Holding her hands ignited flames,
kissing her lips felt like an apricot.
A delicate spark turns into fire
as attachment gave us a purple vision.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

If I die today
Not much in the world would change
A clump of cells gone,
Dreams extinguished, Love dissolved
Bookshelves left to rot.
Loved ones crying will move on
God knows where I'd be
Might as well take it easy
Enjoy what's left of my time

I read to forget
But I never
Forget what I read

as i reached the peak,
i saw a perfect rainbow
that i’ve never seen,
better than the magical lights
in the northern hemisphere

I am rooted &
therefore I reach

the moon reflects

upon my feet, music is cubism
in twin with gritted teeth
a pavement keyed dark

& light pierced with golden
spindles of stacking

dust, inwardly green
with midnight, navy

a blanket of silence
worn to resonate

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

It's okay, I'm suppose to look like Hell,
been sweating out this poison for a couple days
but I have to fight these Phantoms
I'm tired of waking up in pain
Sick of not knowing who I am
I've been here far too many times
running in circles for far too many years
running from every single tear
But I shall run no more.
And if I must, only towards it, not from
No more confessions, only promises
No more apologies, only solutions
no more excuses, only me.
I know, I know, I know
I've said this all before
again, and again,
My empty pledges never get old
only my body and soul do
But don't give up on me
I've been through worse, you know
somehow, I'm still here
and that means something to me
there's something left for me to do
and I need you to be here to see it
So I'll take it slow
Day by day
One breath,
One prayer at a time,
learn from my mistakes,
learn from your lessons,
I know this ride ain't over yet
and so much is left to learn from
But we're getting there
we're moving forward
one day at a time
one right at a time
I'm not where I thought I'd be
It's not where you should be
But it's a step in the right direction
And I don't have to tell you,
That's a better place than I've been in years.

Check message
Facebook
Check message
Instagram
Check message
Send message
Wait
Check
Look;

When did relationships
Get defined
By a read receipt?
Will we
Now
Only measure intimacy
By a tweet?

What do we have left,
Why can’t we
Go back
To laughter
In a diner seat

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Keep quiet,
Silence is your friend
And so am I.

Don’t listen to them,
They’re trying to stop you.
You’ll see this through.
That’s the one thing I’m sure you’ll do.

So shut up
And drive.
Only when far away,
Will you begin to thrive.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

I really don't like going to bed at night
My mind gets going around midday
I kinda like being a night owl
I never cared for worms anyway