Can I really tell you
I want to tell you
I just don't want you to go
I just want to icily say

go away, go away, go Away
over and over i hear myself say
to your face go away just go away
mayhap more than one isn't icily

this doesn't work this never works
i just sit all day and resist what i want to say
come back come back u effin ****
and always u make me while away

Sometimes I think
Over the past few years
If I had not gone through what I did
I could have been creating my perfect life
But then I think
I would have had no chance at that perfect life
If I had not gone through what I did

The self needs
   an inner hideaway
   dark secrets it holds
   which must be kept at bay

   they gnaw and they fester
   afraid to surface in the light of day
   life is lived in lies and deceit
  fear makes the person its perpetual prey

i look death in the eye
and say "give me a cough"

Rain falling through the lights
in the night is one of the
most beautiful sights

Care to share this moment with me?

There is a certain satisfaction that comes
with shrinking language and imagination
to a rectangle, fitting black-and-white
words into a prescribed length and width
given human depth through inscription.

The filled sheet of paper almost
transcends its smoothness and thinness,
its very blank expression and dullness.
It reveals exactly what it is meant to say
and the colors one wants to see in it.

Move the imprinted strokes up and
it becomes the verisimilitude of art;  
move the line down and there exists  
scientific equations in plain view;
give it power- and it becomes money,
an official stamp- and it’s the recorder of
birth/death and everything in between.

All of it can drift away if unbounded and
catch fire with the right or wrong spark.

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

trauma drifts down through the branches of my family tree
like summer pollen

I'm a poet,
I have nothing
except words.

I'm a poet,
I don't care about
the world.

Take your money,
take your cars
take your pearls.

I'm a poet,
I don't care about
the world.

Well, yeah, sometimes
I wish I was
someone else.

But I'm a poet,
poets can't escape
their Fate.

Am I too late
or was I too soon ?

you're up to doing it again
now you've gone so far

See yourself in the light of future reality
Express the nitty gritty of your desired reality in the face of gravity
Experience the tangibility of the reality in it entirety

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night

Sometimes I'll write a poem here
and think it's my best ever
but then the very next day, oh dear
it's in the trash forever

if only i could,
i would forget everything:
your face, your laughter,
the sweetness of your soft lips,
your smile and above all, you.

forging a path less travelled
yet full to the brim of surprise!

The simple warmth
of you lingers.
I breathe in air
you so recently occupied.
My closed lids
conjure you...
as close as it brings you,
it does not bring you.

I don't hate you
I fear you

and you make me stay by
teaching me that

to love is to fear and
to fear is to love

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Not everything needs a poem
Sometimes
it’s already

good enough.

I wrote a note with your name mentioned
But deleted every word within a second
The feeling is long and drawn out
But it’s nothing aside the bigger picture
And much like a small city on this planet
It’s only feels larger when inside of it

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.