making love with no love
(kissed her with his freedom)

<•>

a new person in an overnight stay in a strange,
aptly named,
bed and breakfast

and

you do all the same things that just feel good, careless loving
that comes from practiced renewable remembering,
kiss her neck for hours, drink in her crescendoing cooing

rename her Appalachia, bemused, wondering why,
she gasp-asks, when your tongue traces her odyssey body
from her Georgia to her Maine, then no need to explain

it all feels familiarly strange, imbalanced, shaky, loving the thrill
of your first solo bike ride, an invisible hand letting go,
the wow of walking the line of new freedom and
old responsibility that you have walked on both coasts

carry on, love is coming to us all lyric, enacted-recalled,
loving yet another
long cool woman in a black dress with unquestioning

how to explain to her, how to yourself, loving with no loving,
and the best you can stammer is it is like writing a poem
with too many commas or none at all

she laughs you up with one mouth lingering,
then one amazing kiss on your heart
and nose,
grabs a piece of toast and gone girl,
then you are returned to alone, to the dreams that
may or may not have occurred and two hands overflowing with
too many commas
and none to keep
<•>


11-18–17 2:54am, somewhere

Heavy is a mind
That is chained to its past

Heavy is a soul
That knows no way forward

Heavy is a spirit
That keeps running around in circles

Heavy are the eyes
That never stopped shedding tears

Heavy are the ears
That remain slaves to your voice

Heavy are the hands
That knows no other feeling but you

Heavy is the heart
That is struggling to forget everything

Heavy is a person
That drags himself down
To memories that will never
Become a reality

Heavy are his dreams
If these dreams can never be
And will only be
The source of his nightmares

Heavy are the arms
That helplessly linger for yours
Constantly waiting for you
Though never to come back

No more
Please?

I've had enough

i hope you stay

you wanted perfection,
but I am only a woman
you wanted me to love you
when you knew that I couldn’t

I’m no longer your darling
because I refused a ring
I was your angel,
but you clipped my wings

Apprehension made you pause
To study the attrition clause,
Ascertain the forward path,
Condescend to actually ask....
Condescend to feel the heat
Of the artwork at your feet.

M@Foxglove,Taranaki NZ

Everything starts
As a blank canvas
Just waiting
To be given meaning

I think you told a lie today
about the shadow on your mind.
I think you plan to die today,
and leave these follies far behind.

I wish you would write me a song,
and ink the truth within its verse.
Happy or sad, it's fine, so long
as this does not end in a hearse.

she stands there,
wind through her hair,
dazed and unaware,
numb and hopeless,
a broken goddess.

she stands there
waiting for time
to fade her away
into the dark, cold night.

Hello?
Are you there?

Did I write this?
Do I care?

My brain is gone
and I don’t know where

My creative spark
My unique flare

Hello?
Are you there?

Try to find me
And you'll never find
Because I am nowhere
There's nowhere to be
On the outside world
Nowhere,
For I only traveled within
It’s up to you to get lost
Into the rhythm and vibe
Of my eyes, only then
You can find my paradises
Within these kingdom of my worlds

If you don't heal what hurt you,

You'll bleed on people who didn't cut you.

I never know what say  

a memory of longing
is painful as it keeps

decaying in my chest

putting my love on paper
doesn't take it away
it amplifies the sting
trying to move on

infecting the open cavity of my being

you read my words like you understand
but I'm lost in a memory of what would have been

trying to collect shattered pieces of my own self

emptied and dancing whisked into the shadows
like the end of a dream

feverishly waking up because my feelings weren't received

give them but don't get them
like as if I sent a letter of longing

never in return