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when the answer to every thought is
"what does it matter"
and the scary thing is
it's not like depression makes you think so
it's just that you have to think long enough
to all the overthinkers
Your name sounds like any weather

It could be rainy
when everything seems so gloomy.

Sometimes it's windy
and you make me feel so carefree.

Most of the time it's sunny
you make my world so bright and happy.

Whatever it may be,
I just want you to be close to me.
It's Cindy
Nishant Rawat
Sometimes, it feels like we are living in a simulation.
A simulation designed to ultimately doom all of us.
Midnight Thought

written in time
disappearing past lines
colours a face
(with) crows feet and soft smiles

i was innocent until realised
my living lie, this sweetly lime
a pirate of ways
perhaps too saccharine

(you are) more than i say
(you were) less than i liked
curse frauderous men!
I am fraudery's child.
finally feel alive again after 4 long months
horizon shrouded in dim light
will stars fall in these reflective eyes
rain beaten hydrangea, summer limes
anticipation for bitter nostalgia

Apr 23, 2020
you burned like a star
they whispered,
terror and awe laced in their words

you burned so hard, so bright
everyone but the sun had to look away
the sun stared down as
the burning boy fell underneath the water-
blue hands reaching up to catch him.

stars burn out too fast
they speak,
indifference and pity colour their words.
3, août 2020
12:23 am.
Sitting out on the front step with you
Under stars in their last breath of this night
Coffee in hand
3 a.m.
We talk.
Midnight Rain
the only thing that keeps
away the darkness
is the light
i burn within myself.

so i  have been half flame
half smoke,
half light
half shadow,
half myself
        half someone else.  

this isn’t a way to exist;
it’s a way to survive.

I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.
6 months self harm free! Writing about it helps fight the urge
Zack Ripley
Dreaming about the future
While living in the past
Is a one way ticket to madness
Heavy Hearted
First is a tree who's name wasn't taught
Next, then of course,  a tree now forgot
And then many maples
A spruce and a birch,
Then the last leafless branch upon which these words perch:

Now Into blue sky
Through the swirled clouds I search
On this dock, or a bible
In this lake like a church;

My soul does the backstroke
Toward the blue dream, I lurch.
I thread ever so carefully
Every strand of you
Weaved into the fabric of my being
Under tension was picture perfection
But don't look at the knotted bottom
Our love was like a weaving loom, perfect on the surface.
Miles Graves
a walk, so long it seems
and so lonely, a weird feeling.
the lights and water dance together,
something so beautiful but never seen
and they are never lonely.
the fallen leaves washed away, alive yesterday
but forgotten when the sun came,
they looked so lonely.
Thinking about getting a tattoo
But, I take pause...
Looking in the mirror
I see my body’s already covered
Marked in invisible ink
Every inch of my bare skin
Painted with the joy and pain of living
From my heart to my hips
Color faded here, but poppin’ over there
Memories designed by your hands
Others etched on my own
A collection that makes me smile
Among a few pieces I regret
So, about getting a tattoo...
I guess I’m not ready
Because I can’t think of a tattoo
Meaningful enough, yet
To write over any of the life I’ve lived
TikTok comps
Russian bots
Makeup tutorials
"I'm not like other girls"

Trolls and incels
BuzzFeed articles
Gay fan fiction
Many a pun

People hiring hitmen
Buy some hair clips

Twitter ramblings
Flat earthers
And a partridge in a pear tree
Ashly Kocher
Catch me I’m
Into the oblivion
Into the unknown
Or maybe fantasy
Within my own fears
Contemplating life goals
Free falling
Endless flying
Only to
Always on my feet..
The simplest form of
I love you is
I miss you…
My love for my brother
is like an ocean
But when I see him,
I turn into tidal waves.

The only one I'd ever fight with and for
My brother is the sun, I am the moon
Together in this universe,
the constants for one another
Why does it always feel like
no one's listening
when I talk?
I'm never loud enough..
Andre Vrdoljak
The dew before
The light catches it
Before then
Lulu Sarmiento
He said: “Let’s start.”
She said: “It’s the end.”
What’s the silver lining between start and end?
Berry Blue
Frozen in time
Only 9 months with you
Your love
Very few pictures
Tons of text messages
This is all I’ve got
And nothing more
And there won’t be any more
This is all I’ve got
It’s all I’ve got
It’s not enough. Come back. Please?
Between the lines
of now and then,
you’re drawing me
with ink and pen.
Every ridge
and every curve
you’re carving out
what I deserve.
Tangled veins
and knotted hair,
a thunderstorm
of senseless care.
Between the breaths
of God and man-
You’re writing me
just as I am.
With fractured bones
and black-hole eyes,
painted purple,
ringed with lies.
All I am
is what you see
and what you make
is all I’ll be.
The sky should crush into us-
even if an ant dies out of our negligence.
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?

It wasn’t letting you go.

That was difficult though, to swallow my pride and wear a smile to hide the fact I’m not okay.

Oh no, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? Was finally admit to myself the truth.

It was admitting that you were never mine to begin with.
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
i may have despised
for the longest time
that she was your sun

but you’re my moon

and i guess what
i’m trying to say is—

every one of my nights
would be darker
without her light
all over you
i wouldn’t have ryan
if ryan didn’t have courtney

she’s a hot and necessary evil
for my hot and brilliant
best friend
He would let me break every bone in his body
Just for me to let him love me

But then I'd break his heart
your hands on my heartbeat

playing with your hair
between my knees

it was like we were
learning each other
for the first time

want indiscernible from need
if i woke up naked
next to him

well, that would be
the only thing
i’ve ever needed

~to ryan~
Harriet Cleve
“And what are you? “

“I am a toad eater and am hungry for a meal”

“Then keep looking for  I am not a toad”

“I shall eat you anyway for what does a belly know of toads?”
Oh dear heart,
Tell me why do you get excited,
When nothing lasts,
Why do u want me to let anything in,
If it´ll only cause me hurt,
Why do you cheer for someone,
If you know there´ll be an end
It´s lovely when the heart craves something,
But terrible when that doesn´t last
Ryan Dement
You fanged at me so proud,
but I only eat poison,
I only kiss snakes.
Maria Etre
If I see it
then it is

If I hear it
then it is

If I taste it
then it is

If I read it
then it's
a different
If I see what you see, and they see it too, that doesn't mean I am crazy!
Rupert Pip
Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.
Get to know me like I do you; inside and out.
Bryan Lunsford
Through dark skies,
I've sat all alone,
With tears in my eyes,
It's all I've ever known,

But every storm dies,
And this I know,
Because when you entered my life,
All left was a rainbow
2 August 2020

It is the irrelevance of life, that gives me a map.
Dearth of deep meaning, significance.
Chaos of each day, the blessing of good fortune.
Pains of survival, bliss.
Senescence of age, wisdom.
Loneliness, dear companionship.
The commonness of life, creates the strange..
My search for God, gives me peace, when none is found.
Maria Hernandez
If someone
does not want me
it is not the end
of the world
if I do not want me
the world is nothing
but endings
Flower C
Heaven rained on me,
I breathed in the petrichor,
Bathed in the downpour.
I have sinned,
So destroy me,
With your rain.
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