I wander in wonder, a kin to dysfunction
Cruel silence stole solace from these feeble fingertips
Adrift, my memories spurn my conscience, coercing calamity

All which I have retained is bitter self-loathing:
A quiet and fleeting contention to vex all I have known
My motives have melted, like wax wings in the sunlight

Catharsis is for the strong of heart, not the bullheaded
By no means have I escaped this labyrinth
My blood is on my own two hands

These erratic desires have turned bitterly against me
Discord is unbridled between these once cordial synapses
As unkempt remorse refuses to flee...

A lovely December morning like this,
connotes nothing else in our world but bliss.
A time to mine our richest depths of love
on fifth avenue's apartments above.
Every split second is worth a lifetime
with your warm presence in this wintertime.
A kiss from you is like an explosive.
Your lips hypnotize with a corrosive
touch of arousal and sensuality,
bringing heaven on earth to reality.
I will relish the softness of your skin,
like I have never before relished in
our union together as a couple.
We will dine, dance, kiss, romance and cuddle,
because I sure hope to make this December
a unique December to remember.

Like a wardrobe filled with too much ****,
The door that leads to you
Won’t shut, jammed by memories,
And of the constant need of you.
So I’ll leave it like that,
And let parts of you seep out
And swirl around me forever.

thin strings made of the self
there is a desperate need for a knot
she feels worthless and empty
wanting to fade into the clouds above

you're my bittersweet summer rain
you quench the heat and wash away the pain
but you chase the sun away
and leave me longing for brighter days

Ticking time
sliding by
painfully slow

The future
in front of me
lies miles
behind me.

The present
unfortunately
no longer favorable
for me

I feel
a timeless remorse
now I may
have loved you too little

I’m bruised
and broken
from breaking your
falls.
I see you
once again
approaching the rim
of your next disaster.
You’ve never felt
the full impact
of a fall
because I’ve always
caught you.
When you leap
this time—
I won’t be there.

If words could convey
How deeply the crevice
Of sorrow and agony
Runs through my heart
I fear that I would
Never surface for air

My grandpa
             Words he gave
                            To me once upon a full moon
“Son” he said
            “When you go into this life”
“Remember, that love is a language “
             “So find, my son, find someone”
                     “Who speaks your language “
      “So you don’t have to translate your soul”
                                   Hmmm.

You will never reach their impossible expectations.
Find your own peace.

I learned
to plant the seeds
of happiness.
There are flowers
blooming
where the scars
used to be.

R.M.

walking through
I feel my shoulders drop

in the middle of the road
kind of want to cry out loud

I know it's another heavy day
is it almost friday

this endless routine
I'm so tired

no more time
I'm dissociating during work

losing myself
where am I
what am I doing

forgot what's the day
forgetting I have a name

this face of mine
I don't recognize

come back,
that's all i request

why'd you
have to go


i hate being in love
with someone i
can't have

If a man needs you to believe a lie,
He will often say, "trust me."

If a man needs you to believe the truth,
He will speak it.

If I could be the moon
I would not shine, but
My grey dusty bones would spin
Endless

Let me pull you in, my ocean
Let me push you away, my sea
Let me stay in orbit, my bittersweet gravity

I am alone
Do not look up at me
You will not see my dark side weep

i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her on
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like i
need to make her stay cause
she will

Tides rise and fall, the moon up and down,
sun waking west and east,
Heaven and earth.
Aloof, not that the world is beneath me,
The heart yearn for freedom,
Therefore spirit became he.
Man yearn for the sky, but can only daze on earth.
Therefore, Sky became their heaven,
Beneath became their Earth,
and Man became... its witness.

autumn air whistles past my ears
and she says “the colors are vibrant this year.”

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

I only want two things in this world,
You and your love.
30/9/2020

The sand shifts beneath your feet,
Your heart relaxes to a quiet beat,
The waters seem to breathe day and night,
Close your eyes take it in do not fight,
The wind satisfies your soul,
Just relax now you've played your role,
Touch the sand now scoop it up,
Hold it in your hands and form a cup,
Now let it seep through towards the sandy ground,
Your soul was lost but now its found,
The weather you desire will come your way,
Just stand closer to the bay,
Soon life will be eternal for you and me,
Look beyond the ocean and tell me what you see.
                          -open heart poetry

I want
to be the one your pen
and paper talk about

I can't seem to finish a poem these days
They are all about you.
Thinking about the message that says

"I
Love
You".

Love. Words. Love.
All we have is words, all we ever had was words, though all we ever have is love.
Was thinking of saying that I loved you calling me golden, but the fact is you never called me at all.
And yet

"I
Love
You".

The idea.
What could have been, what we could have been. What we were. What we are.?

I
Love
You.

I attend college in an apocalypse
I'm planning for a future that doesn't exist
Paying these grandiose establishments
So they can give me a piece of paper
A modern day participation award

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

I know
You care about me
10 more people do
Yet I can't get rid
Of this feeling
Of doom

I know
I have you
10 more people too
Yet I can't find a person
To talk to
late at night

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

You're not lost, just because you didn't  trust today
I see you here, yet your thoughts are drifting away ...
You rake the leaves, with your bare hands,
You try to see, where your future stands.

You're not lost,  just because you need a break,
I see you smile, while trying to hide your heartache
You collect the dirt, under your fingernails,
As you walk barefoot and cover your trails.

I still see you, underneath the falling leaves,
I hear your voice say "thank you"  and "please"
I see your true smile, glowing in your eyes,
You're the only reason, my soul survives.