or does friendship and love conquer all?

I've been through a lot
If that makes me weird
So be it..

and if i never find another soul to love, i'll be okay with yours being the last.

Can we be best friends in love dear
Can we grow old together?
I wanna be by your side for the years and years to come
Can we fall like feathers
Falling softly for one another
I wanna be here for you through the good and the bad my love

-Abbey Glover

Maybe I don’t feel too good
Because when I look at myself
I only see the darkness
So why are other people blinding?

Maybe I don’t feel to well
Because when I question myself
I only find the worst answers
So why does everyone else has a cheat sheet?

Maybe I don’t know anymore
Because I have a knot in my stomach
And it never goes away
So why does everyone feel so good?

Maybe I don’t feel happiness
Because I lost all feeling long ago
And only try to feel pain
So why do you have love?

Maybe I want to die
Because I feel like that I’m not good enough
But that’s just a lie
I just want to leave everyone else.

It just feels so good to be bad with you

This is why I don't
share my opinions-
They won't listen.
They think I'm strange.
They think that they're always right.
They make me feel guilty
even though I didn't do anything wrong.
But still,
I won't stop.

I wanted to learn

so last night my fourth grade teacher
tore my eyelids off

and sat me near a television screen
that showed my mother dying
over and over
and over again.

I left as a cavity
of a boy,

collapsing at the sound of passing cars

as I searched for a payphone where
I could speak to the static about Gabriel.

(where is he?)

When I look at my brother and father

I beg for my eyes to be caressed until they’re scarred

with every daytime matinee
and curtsy on the train platform

that built me into this mosaic
of a “man”.

Chaos moves like a breeze.

I still remember the last time I saw you
and I remember the day I realized
it was really over

but life goes on, as things do
however, I still find myself
thinking about you

I’ve seen other people,
I’m sure you have too
but still, I really, truly do
myss you

I gave them fickle fables
Far from forging truths
Fair young women
With facades cast over
Their fear-filled eyes
As they realize
There is no fairy tail
For fabricated dreams
No Prince Charming
Will fall for them
It is the princess fallout
That happens to
All folly young women

9/21/2019

together we walk 
to our deaths
in this thing called life 
but somehow we forget 
we are in this thing
together

As I look at a screen I read up on Screen addiction.
Im hooked and I steep, what a mean affliction.

the scent of incense
hangs heavy in the air
the constant murmer of voices
comes crashing like waves
but your eyes meet mine
and the faces disappear
the voices die,
all that remains
is an unspoken invitation
from my lips
willing yours to kiss mine
and yours happily
meet their request
leaving our love tasting
like oranges
tenderly plucked
from moonlight lips.

Today
I wore black
Because
Event hough
I am still breathing
I am no longer
Alive

-jt

if there is only 18 months left of green
i want to make sure it’s not bittersweet
hold your hand in the shade of the apple tree
and remember what it’s like to
fall in love

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

My control became a variable.
My stability became improbable.
Please come back

I just have to look
at you
to feel it.

To know it
I have to look
away.

Like the pages
of a book
mid-tornado,

Fragments of
information, the pieces
all out of place.

Still,

I believe you
beg to be
read.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

Lips that have never been kissed
Hair that's never been brushed back
Cheeks that have never been caressed
Hands that have never been held

Yes, I know I dont need a boy
But it gets kind of lonely

Its like everything's on fire
I know thats dire
But I’m not kidding
Everything’s on fire
Okay maybe not literally
And maybe I'm being overdramatic
But I'm telling you
Everything’s on fire
In my mind the world is red
Everything burns and my skin is dead
There’s no real way to describe it
But as I said
Everything’s on fire

I like to believe, we meet people for a reason,
Wether God sent me to change your life, or
Or God sent you to change mine.

There is a Monopoly for love in these times
.
..
...
In the name of love will you suffer or will you smile ?

The hedgehog's dilemma. hedgehog's try and get closer to each other when it’s cold but they can’t get close enough because they end up hurting each other. I had no idea what it was called or that it even had a name for it. At least I know what I’m dealing with now. It explains a lot if I’m being honest.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

aren't we all a little hesitant
to allow unexpected love
to enter

I’m scared as f*ck
to want you.

But here
I am,

Still wanting you
anyway.

What if
You have been fighting
A losing battle
All along
What if
The silence
Within you
Is only
The calm
Before the strom
And
It is going to be a fight
You just cannot
Win

-jt