Isn’t it amazing how a crowded room can make you feel so alone.

when i type Major in google
it offers major tom or
major depressive disorder as hints
and they really are the same answer
if the question is space oddity

my father used to tell me the problem
are we alone in the universe
is solved by dialectic materialism
if mind is a matter
there's really can be only one mind
it does explain my brain
that's the size of a planet
but still leaves me at odds
with the feeling
of cosmic loneliness

alone in my room,
i search myself for comfort.
i can't find my heart

The white rabbit sleeps
Where daffodils are blooming
Gently overhead

it’s either

her

or

me.

you should appreciate your little victories
i do

for example today,
i conquered my telephone-phobia

if only you could see
my hands
valiantly reaching
to
call
off
that
dentist
appointment

Stop breaking other’s hearts.

One day, there won’t be any left to break.

I fear what I don't know
I fear what I suppress
I fear not knowing what I suppress
I fear expressing it
I fear not knowing how to express it
I fear fear
I fear that there is nothing to fear
I fear that I don't know what I fear

You must think love is blinding
Something of the sort
Repelling my attraction
My eyes do not work?
My dear you're wondrous
No mistake here has been made
You're simply gorgeous

She may fluttered my heart
But you made it beat

I can see you.
I can see the heavy way you breathe,
the stumbling way you
                                     run.
I can feel the blood running              running, down your injured head.
                                            running  
I can see the fe
                          ar
in your eyes. You
run
      run
            run
                  run.
yet closer I get.
Del
       icious
fear steals across your face as I op
                              en
my cracked unused mouth
saying
"tag,
you
are
it."

Most of my poems are very serious unless i say otherwise in my comments. I have been very defensive lately about my writing, and myself, because of many rude comments. Most arent on here.

Paint me a picture
Of your skin
Does it bronze beneath the sun?
Or sizzle and blush
Like your cheeks
When you’re in love?
Is it soft to the touch
Like when your palms graze
The smooth surface of water?
Or rough around the edges
Like your favorite book
And its lovingly worn corners?
Does it melt in the heat
Like sweet syrupy treats
Dripping through your fingers?
Or does it welcome the winter
With wide open arms
As if greeting a lover?
Paint me a picture
Of your skin

Not an annual
Nor biennial
You are a perennial
Occurring and recurring
When the axis is right
Enduring and ensuring
Your neon colors once more
Will dance wild

Seasons of frost will come
Phalanxes trained to cleanse
Marching with death orders
To challenge what you stake
But despite their damaging bite
You’ve grown your rootstock strong
The only answer to the cold is:
Perennials always grow

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

I was Richard the III's political double

it got me into a lot of trouble

agents came within the dark

my end was blunt and very stark

they sliced my skull and stabbed my bones

then pummelled me hard to stifle my groans

life for me was a strange osmosis

I was chose because of scoliosis

my hair was dark and face was mean

the closest to Richard you have ever seen

Yes, I was Richard the III's political double

it got me into a lot of trouble

my end was bleak and rather shabby

far away from Westminster abbey

to cap it all ( This ranks and needles)

I am reinterred in Leicester Cathederal

And as for Richard? I don't know

He's somewhere out there down below


I was Richard the III's political double

It got me into a lot of trouble

My ears are tired

Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

All I know
Is how
I feel

And sometimes I
Wish I
Knew nothing

I can't breathe anymore
but its not from lack of trying
I pretend people are inanimate
I always find I'm lying

I, I, I
me, me, me
******* I'm so secular and vain

Laying in my bed curled up
Acid in my throat because I didn’t eat
Clenching my fists around my blankets because I can’t sleep

Are you thinking of me?
Laying in a tent, uncomfortably,
Snuggling close to your fluffy white dog or your younger brother to stay warm.

Are you missing me?
No. Not the way I’m missing you
You’re not thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you
And though it means the world to me that a beautiful soul like yours is friends with a storm cloud like me, it shatters my heart into thousands of sharp, jagged pieces that you’re
~ just ~
my friend.

“I’m sorry but I need to know, is it mutual? It’s alright if it’s a no, I can handle it, I just want you...to be honest”
A pause...
Then the raindrop falls.
“Right now, it’s a no”

Ripples.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
No.
No.
No.
STOP.
I care about you so much, I know I need to let you go, so you would never read this, and I would never show anyone this.
It’s all swirling around in my chest, faster and faster until it explodes, word ***** and tears.
I love you.

I didn’t tell you I loved you, only that I had feelings for you.
Why bother? It would’ve made things more painful for me, more bitter for you.

But I can’t show you this.
I don’t want you to change.
I don’t want you to change the way you speak to me, to change your mind when you’re about to type a heart emoji,
to stop yourself after just saying “goodnight” and leave out the “baby”

This is my undoing, not yours, and I want you to keep letting me be your anchor, your shoulder, your shield, my open arms waiting to catch you when you tumble from your flight.
I can’t keep loving you, I can’t stop loving you.
I want to stop feeling at all.

Marriage,
uses his left hand to slap
the groom for future problem
uses his right hand to handover
the bride for pleasure,
which he so long waited...

Blood of innocents,
Hate-filled evil incarnate,
Spilt on sacred ground.

Fear is not telling you how much I need you because I'm afraid you won't reply