i hated the way we couldn't walk away from each other without leaving wounds.

I was just a story you could tell,
Stir him up, get him mad as ****.
You didn't love me, that I know,
Only went places you knew he'd go.
When we made love it had to be rough
Vanilla don't upset him quite enough.
He looked across you were all over me
Fast forward a little it's him you'd go see.
Then you'd call me up all out of the blue
And all I could say was 'now what did he do?'
Then I'd write you a poem, we'd meet up in the park
And you'd be back in his arms before it got dark.

Listen to the wind speak.
Listen to the rain patter.
Listen to the heat hiss.
Listen to the falling leaves.
Listen to the ice *****.
Listen to the ground shift.
Listen to the tides pull.
Listen to the fauna run.
Listen to the plants grow.
Listen to the stones vibrate.
Listen to the humans utter.
Listen for the silence.
Listen to it if you can.
Listen to the Eternal.

Hyacinths and helium
And an orange colored sky
Melding into a pool
Filled with goldfish
Laughing like a crimson balloon

A lake of rainbow trout
And a parade of dinosaurs
Riding on the wind
And hanging from clouds
Taking care not to bump each other

An upside-down bicycle
Glued to a table
Handle bars of chrome
Turned westward
Riding in concentric circles

Happy days and happy times
Packed in a picnic basket
Sandwiches and tuna fish
Pared with slices of pickles
Filling an empty cup to the brim

Time remembers everything
In a perfect sphere of lightning bolts
Candy bars and calliopes
And merry-go-rounds galore
To bring joy forevermore

5/20/19


www.brucelevine.com
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B07485W4Q1

When people wanna leave I let them.
It’s true; I never bother to fight.
This poem is just like the last one I wrote about getting let down.
They just get easier to write.

11:58

your birthday
is away by two
silent minutes

11:59

I want to
wish you. I really do.
there's this hurt
which makes me
doubt everything
which has happened.

12:00
12:01
12:02
12:03

keeping all
the pain aside
I breathe slowly.

s l o w l y typing the
letters.

the screen
the keyboard
the small room
the closed door
locked door
closed window
blinders keeping
the sun away
a chair
an empty stomach
protesting against
tequila
more tequila

ready

you can write now

the nectar of love
only comes with
the poison of pain,
two
for the exorbitant price of one

standing
at the chasm
of life and death
destroyed by love
grief remains
as life’s sole friend

the memories of love
now
belong to time
and this aging body
to the five elements.

© 2019

Life is beautiful,

despite misunderstandings –


and troubles with ***.

Her eyes
reflect my moon.
In her eyes
it's always full.

Calling long and deep
into the bottomless well of me,
my heart, I posed a wordless question
that water--free--be invited to speak.

So I listened I paused I listened--
opened and dissolved
fear in me.

Water of my hands
woke up, sprung up.

Water of my feet.

Water of my eyes,
my brain.

There were no parts of me
my invitation was not reaching.

Little baby faces all that water was--
and each, an innocence,
a living breathing star.

And therein
other starry lights.

Green and azure golden
shot high and all around me.

Rainbows spinning, under and over-lacing,
composed a heaven's tapestries.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m ****** –”
I know it sounds ******,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

Both can ****
        The only difference is
                      Cigarettes shatter lungs
         She shatters everything

            I remembered the first moment
my lips pressed the filter
     as I lit it up breathed it all
                savored every smoke
       as if we covered up painful lies
        in a container of painkillers

The same way  
we used to pressed our lips
     sparked something between us
           savored every moment we had
    as if our love was a rose
               in a valley of tulips

Just a little chaos
I noticed I'm looking for a bit of fun
and oh so many will run
they don't get you
Although in a way I do

The mind is a storm
of feelings and words
I'm a captain braving the storm
they told me it's not worth it

And maybe it isn't
but I just want a bit of fun

i see the flyer at starbucks

"are you caucasian?
without mental health
and drug problems?"

wow
i don’t know the answer to any of these questions
is a jew a caucasian?
is the occasional *****, ****-slamming drunken rampage
a drug problem?
as for mental health
i’m a deadbeat poet and unpopular pop musician
i’ve got a job fighting death and boredom
and i just changed my facebook password to "eat ****"
my frustrations have driven weaker souls to homicide
but are these PROBLEMS?

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow

she was the moon
radiating the night sky
and dancing among the stars

you were the darkness
the shadow that waxed and waned
through the phases of her life

she grew to believe
that your presence
is what made her whole

but like the full moon
she shone brightest
without you


x.

You are the fire, you are the light
You are the candle i always wanna lit
You are the lyrics, You are the rythme
You are the song i wanna sing
You are the smoke, You are the scent
You are the fresh air that i breath
You are the love , You are the joy
You are the life i want to live...

The sun shining a dawn
A smooth skin
An accomplice
(better more)
The flowering in spring!

Thrush singing in the at morning
and the evening.
The rains!
A good breakfast
a better dinner

The smile of a girl,
the advice of an old man.
Births,
the beginnings.

A few snowflakes caressing the face.
The tickle of the wind.
A word of encouragement.
Redemption and forgiveness.

YOU!

WE LIVE SURROUNDED BY WONDERS!

You must be able to see then.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Dear heart,
How naïve of you to
Think it might work out.

Loneliness leaves bread crumbs along
The trail
Careless slack skin
Bells on strings
We beggars spilling soft glossy eyes
Unto
Palms of grime
Pierced by silver coins
Gold memories tossed by the blind
Fall in droplets on our toes
Could only pick them up
By bending
Kneeling
Begging
Beings in repentance
Cupping the sulfur
Wrath wrapped into madness
Selling our flesh to the freedom of our souls
Skinless boneless nerveless
Tenderness still leaks
In vain
While fluttering moths
Die in a halo
Graceful rituals
Covering darkness with darkness
And sorrow still blooms
Seated in the seeds of vulnerability
To the slight sight
Of undeniable truth

They say "love is a verb".
I don't think it is.

It's more a cloud of locusts,
Flying terribly at your door.

There's something different about him
The way he moves
The way he carries
I can see the curiosity in his eyes
I can tell he wants to say something
But the words aren't coming out
Maybe he's shy
Or maybe he's just tired
Tired of the dead ends
A true mystery.....
And I'm interested

What's wrong with you?
Maybe there's interest
But you won't know unless you say something to her
She's beautiful
And you can't afford wasted moments
The road blocks in the past
Have blurred your vision
Like staring at the sun
But at the same time
You're still able to see her