It’s your eyes ...

Your magic!

When you stare ...

Like a pause ...

With no stop!

I like your eyes’ white ...

Innocence?!

Always ...

You can have me any time ...

Any time you do the same thing!

Same beautiful thing!

Like never happen ...

Before ...

Or

After ...

I like the way you look at me!

I asked her
where she
was going

I asked her
where she
was from

I just did something
And now I’m hated by
The one I love most

conversations in my mind are often complicated
the crisis here, in fact, is that it's tolerated
what to do and what to think, are often misconstrued
it makes it hard to understand, what is to be pursued
I must unwind this twisted mind and put it down in text
adjectives, adverbs, nouns, and such, it's hard to see what's next

Brian Hill - 2020 # 221

I am not
for everyone.
I am not
for this life.
I am not even for myself
on most days.

Try hard as I may
To make sure I never fail
I stumble and fall and obstacles seem so tall
Will I make it out okay?

Twists and turns and I’m barely out of it all
When a new challenge arises and I’m fighting it now
Afraid to admit and determined to succeed
Criticise not my faults but only my misdeeds

I see you looking at me
in a broken mirror and
I promise to hold your hand
dry your tears
and I will make for you a
soft universe.

the day a poet  
falls in love with you
is the day
you know you will live
forever
not in life
but in the love
that your poet
could never seem to
grant
themselves
but will
give you
all of

Her touch changes in gold
Everywhere she goes
The people around her know

Except for her

Note to the rioters and looters
Though justice maybe blind
All the law abiding citizens
Can all see you just fine

After twenty-one years
I have finally learned
That my heart
Does not have to be left as a gift
On the doorstep of another
And I can leave that special gift
At my own front door



8/13/2020

and so there she stands
your daughter liberty
alone and weak
because you left her unattended
in a sundress and fireman's coat with blood
on her chin and her face contorted
for the cameras to see
stupefied on the edge of the gravel pit
with the confetti ash swirling in her hair
and her eyes filled with animal fear
as her slack body slams against the railing
and a swan song swells in her throat

they use billy clubs to beat back the rats
under the skull of the moon and
the fickle stars like frantic pouncing eagles
the neighborhood dying has scratch marks all over it
diamonds etched in storefront windows
and rollicking clouds of tear gas to make it fun
there's a ****** taking a **** out in the open street
and where's the flag? oh i remember
it's snagged on a parapet five stories up
burning in the ignored sunset between
the silent buildings

we are an enormous pile of sentient garbage
coming up from the rot wearing life preservers
advancing with the picket line tide
blowing flashbang death on flugelhorns
outside the framework of the 2-party system
invented by the mongrels in hollywood
guerrillas moving in troupes thru the city streets
filled with exhilarating hope and
plumes of smoke insurgents chanting
violence is american as apple pie

i keep my tv dark to reflect the flames
of the grocery store outside and my insides
feel ripped up, i've never had a shave this close
squish my denim body against the window like a telescope
to hear the growl from the depths under the city
this is the moment just before something big happens

this is the flashover
this is when the panic begins
there's a man in a tree out in palmdale and
i need the morphine to tell me it isn't my fault
i need my pastor to tell me god doesn't lie
tonight the fuses blew out on an entire continent
tonight i wept

I want to save this Princess from Zimbabwe --
because she tells me it is my destiny,
and it is all in the email she sent me.

I want to save this Princess from Zimbabwe --
because she possesses many Riches,
and she has promised me all of them.

I want to save this Princess from Zimbabwe --
from her wretched uncle,
who will steal her wealth and lock her away.

I would save this Princess from Zimbabwe --
but she only needs my Government ID,
Bank Account and Social Security.

it could all end at this moment.
the human body is so weak, i could end it all here at this second.
i don’t know if it’s me being off medication.
i don’t know if this is just the way i am.
and i don’t know if it’s because i’m insane.
i want to end my life. i wish to have my throat slit as it was in my dream.
it was so warm.

It was monday night
When he wrote me a letter
With all the words he could not say
He filled his bag, and left me sleeping
I woke up empty
He told me he was evil
He told me he was saving me
And that he was doomed to be alone
I drank some coffee to taste the bitterness
If only he had asked me
I would have said I'm evil too
I would have said we could be dark together
I would have told him light is overrated
And that his eyes were enough to guide our way
But he just left
And I went to work
The computer screen was so bright
It made me sick

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

Love not the empress curve of your cheek,
The many-storied, empty ziggurat of belief,
The man-handled, baked brick built so high,
Your grotty thighs are pasted with all your lovers,
Your lacquered heart is glazed by luminous grief,
Head-bearer of broken vases as your crown,
Filled with dry dust from liquid stars.

Hands up
Don't be shy
Say it out
              loud

   You hate the world!

Envy more
Stay jelous
         Ignorant

But don't come
               Crying
           Terrified
       And lonely
When everything is over

I
feel
without
myself.

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

I can hear what it sounded like
A million years ago
It was quieter
I can hear a pine needle drop
On the rain battered forest ground
It sounds like the barely audible clink
Of harmonics on a guitar
There is probably greatest virtue in the surrender
Of rustling trees blown by archaic winds  
We could all learn from that sound
To be carefree and beautiful
in the hands of nature and time

Trace the shadows of where the joy in the journey still thirsts inside you
Taste the red truth in the ribbon of your tongue
I want you to see the cloak over the song of your heart
Isn't it a mercy that the city is unaware of your dreams?
I'd tell you there's freedom in the way your future lingers as it walks the aisle
And it can meet only you
So don't be discouraged
If the night sets
And the dawn comes
Time and time again
Want only the sky
The heavens will open
For they were made for you