Let’s pretend we were made
To be the two of us together
Let’s pretend not just today,
But tomorrow too, and forever.
Let’s pretend some cupid guy
Shot his arrow at both our hearts.
Let’s pretend we had no choice
That some magic made it start.
Let’s pretend there is nobody
On this earth but we two.
That neither of us has work
Or any chores we must do.
Let’s act the same as if
We were just two small kids
And build some loving memories
Of the fun things we did.
Let’s pretend that our love
Is all we will ever really need
And let this game of our hearts
And souls happily proceed.
And let’s pretend the two of us
Get to make all the rules
And people who don’t agree
Are just ordinary boring fools.
Let’s pretend there’s nothing we
Need to worry ourselves about
And that any problems that occur
We two can work them out.
Let’s pretend this is a world
Like the one in our fondest dreams
And see if we can make it be
Precisely as magical as it seems.
Have you ever
kissed a tree
or even listened
to the wisdom
of its trunk
unmoved by
gossip and glamour
its leaves fighting
for the sun
but the roots know
that deep below
the fields where
the flowers grow
is where the water’s
found and if you
come up close
and really listen
you’ll hear the
sound of the earth’s
beating heart.
The bard of Avon
termed man the
paragon of animals
but Darwin brought us
to the ground
helped us see
that the difference
between me
and the morning birds
is that their song
is heard;
the voice of love
in all of us
is stifled
by expectation
and exploitation
“what can the world give me?”
never
“what might I give the world?”
so why not
go back to the roots
and listen to the bark
why not
befriend the tree
in the local park
If fate has gone cruel and
Had us meeting,
Had us loving,
Only to have us parting,
Then I shall never love again
I am lost
in the labyrinth of my emotions
I am drowning
in the depths of my despair
I glanced back at you;
you looked away
I closed my eyes
and turned away
thinking
where did I go wrong?
our fire was blown fast, extinguished
i was once not sure
but now i do know:
things that ember
do not glow forever
I'd like to talk about curves
Twist and turns
Dented surfaces
Or talk about God
Childish wishes
Open caskets
Broken promises
Surfing on Universal energies
Deciphering the Poems in the music
I'd like to visit Paris
Everglades sawn grass Prairie
With my palms caressing softly
I need a mental picture of paradise
A motivational quote before bed at night
These nightmares stressing for a fight
I'd like to talk with my dad again
I need a map of manhood
I think I might be doing it wrong
......Or just tell him that I'm a proud son
I want to dance
Waltzing around things I value
With black leather dress shoes
Courting yellows from blues
Using old memories as punching bag
Thinking about that kid who wasn't punching back
Curved spine with a heavy backpack
I want to be here now
No captions, just sounds
.....and curves
depression, the musical
the only musical
without a rehearsal
it isn't picky with its cast
in fact, its director retired
the moment it met you,
now it's you
depression, the musical
the only musical
without a proposal
you are meant to be its director
but all your chords have frozen
and now all we hear is static
depression, the musical
the only musical
without a melody
i'm sorry but,
we were too sad to craft a beat
too sad to dismantle ourselves
from our beds, get up, and eat
depression, the musical
i'm too tired to stay awake
depression, the musical
a thief stealing my sleep
with all the clutter it makes
depression, the musical
the only musical
that requires therapy
you see, a musical like this
is rather toxic, rather mental,
rather real
because after all, it is all
in our heads
all in our heads.
- crimsyy
a/n: thankyou so much for reading! i hope that through this poem, i've helped someone, anyone, in some way. If you do suffer from depression, please don't hesitate to seek help. I'd like to say that, as someone who has struggled with depression, i have come a long way from where i was this time last year. Recovery is a long journey but not only is it worth it, it is possible.
There's nothing quite like
Your first family dog
You bring him home as a puppy
And he is rambunctious and playful
He tugs at your ponytail and nips at your ankles
Always seems to find trouble
And then he gets older, he still likes to chase squirrels
Thinks he's the biggest baddest dog in town
He will always protect your family from the evil mastermind ( also known as the mailman)
Will always provide love and comfort
And is forever happy to see you
Especially if you have doggy ice cream or a banana ( but really he's not picky he'll eat anything other than lettuce)
There's nothing quite like
How a dog becomes family
From the moment you bring him home
He is filled with love and you are filled with love for him
You begin to make memories and then
Eventually it's hard to recall
Memories made without him
Through the good and the bad he was always by your side
There's nothing quite like
The heartbreak that happens
When your dog dies
When you lose a part of your family
Just thinking about the next time you go home
He won't be there to greet you with a wagging tail
There's nothing quite like dogs.
I cannot hide my true self
For my true self is who I am
For who I am is my true self.
Why must I destroy myself?
But bleach my body
Destroying my skin
Killing of my true self.
And must I please myself
Tease myself
Satisfying myself
Until it comes down to
Being myself
Not fooling myself
Me.
Myself and I
Then to think
It's better for myself
No matter what.
Cheat myself
Beat myself
Lie to myself
But not be myself
Of whom I am
And whose I am---
It's a sad case
A sad case indeed
To not work on myself
For there to betterment of myself
And not poison myself
Until I die and shrink
Shallow up
Disappear
Gone
Swell up
Bust right open
Like a raisin.
Poof!
Pow!
Ssssssss!
But I got to be true to myself
For who I am
And all that I am going to be
And yet stay true to myself
For me and nobody
Else
Me
With beautiful self--
ME!
Myself
My true self
I love.
Life goes on with the good and worst...
We're here for the sake of thirst.
The sunshine of morning can't b e changed,
Just as the destiny of ours' can't be replaced.
A new born child has a different spark,
Cause he doesn't know the awaited one.
Happiness touches like it pours after dry,
Acting every time is our foremost try.
Virtual world is a clear illusion,
Where we now distinguish among relations.
Duties keep on running in mind,
Still everyone can't be of true mankind.
Imaginations seek the greatest pleasure,
But reality is the only whining figure.
i wish i told you
(that it's not your fault, it never was your fault in all the ways you told yourself to stay i know you thought about my happiness every single time)
i wish i knew better
(than to do what i did, than to take it out on you as if it wasn't my problem but yours, as if i was the victim and i did nothing wrong)
i wish i never held you back
(never tried to keep you to myself, but i realized too late when you left that i wasn't loving you the way i was supposed to, that i became the kind of lover i told myself i wouldn't become)
My mind is mine,
at least I think it is,
but my body honestly,
I’m not so sure,
see I left home,
a runaway,
and most of my past,
is totally blurred,
sometimes I look at my hands,
and think they’re not mine,
sometimes I see my parents,
and think they’re not mine,
and I feel trapped in here,
like a Ghost in a shell,
and the only way I know to get these messages to you,
is through these letters I spell,
like a message in a bottle,
sent by First Class Mail,
letters messages bottles,
it’s all adding up as far as I can tell,
and I’d explain it all,
but I don’t want to get too specific,
it’s not that I’m scared I’m just not sure,
which side I’m on and to which alliance I’ve enlisted,
so I continue to just write in code,
to spell sentences with these letters,
ABC’s are my 1’s and 0’s,
because I program Emotionalist,
and that’s Emotionalist,
not Emotionless,
there’s a difference,
please make a note of it,
note,
letters,
here we go again,
for worse or for better,
they made me a weapon,
but not the kind that kills,
they taught me how to destroy,
by teaching me how to build,
see whenever I feel anxious,
and people tell me to chill,
I tell my self to behave,
because it’s just the Ghost in my shell,
see my mind is mine,
at least I think it is,
but my body honestly,
I’m not so sure…
∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
Poetry,
Started out as a hobby,
Encouraged by family,
Write on topics variety,
Started with topics like,
Sleep,dream,summer,music,my bike,
I realised what gives my poems emotions,
I write about my life,
About love,
About death,
About happiness,
And sadnesses,
Later did I realise,
Poetry,
Went from a hobby,
To a therapy.
singing your name
dreaming your scent
smiling at nothing
just
loving you
people change,
and feelings fade
as time writes down
our love's charades;
a part of me
is still dismayed
over the lust
we've laid to waste;
as feelings rush
in huge cascades
i write how i
wish you had stayed.
With open minds and eager eyes,
We think naïve thoughts
And read cliché quotes.
But our thoughts are troubled
With damaged dreams,
And heavy hearts.
Nothing seems demeaning.
Everything looks sensualising.
Yet, only a few of us are dominating.
Those familiar hallways mean more than you think.
They say we don’t know real pain,
That our life is merely a game.
We are teenagers.
Our game is complex and cruel.
They wouldn’t stand a chance.
Now that I've entered the world
Of this burning tree
I feel much more fully
Because it's the only time I can
And the thought of you makes my heart ache
I don't know where we're at
My chest is heavy with the chance of losing you
I truly love you with all my heart
But understand I have trust issues
Honesty is the only option for me
So when I sense dishonesty
It shuts me down immediately
I feel petrified
Unable to move
And instead of running
I let my fires spend outward
But I love you
And though I say I'll be ok alone
Life would feel meaningless
Without your hand in mine
But I understand if you have to leave
You'll be in my heart forever
We are told to think outside the box
And yet alienated when we act outside of normalcy.
We were drinking coffee when
depression showed up at the door of the home we built, pounding.
Eviction notice in hand,
your soul parceled out into donation bins.
Foreclosure sign,
caution tape around the chest that I slept on for a year.
I sit out in the sun
to bleach the tan line from my ring finger.
I hold cold cups and shake strangers’ hands
to erase the mould of your hand from mine.
I want to sear off my palms.
I miss even those nights when you looked at my fire and laughed.
So I make you coffee (but I know I make it wrong);
your ghost in this house still criticizes.
I made you coffee every day because it was all I could do;
my only way of getting into you, a vector.
As the hot brew flowed past your heart, I watched,
like a child at Christmas, hoping you’d feel my love.
Hoping the glaze would clear up from your eyes.
I went to the doctor about this dizziness.
He checked my ears, he asked why my eyes were red.
This vertigo--a hurricane made by the page turning in my life.
I am a bag in your wind.
The day you left I wrote you a recipe for how you like your coffee,
because you don’t know, but I have it memorized.
My handwriting changes halfway down the page, as I change,
as you drive farther and farther away.
Because my name has been yours, possessive.
And although these days I correct myself and say ‘I’ during speech,
My thoughts are still ‘we.’
I still think about your lungs when I cough.
So I still make us coffee every day (but I know I make it wrong).
they tell addicts
to move away
from the places
they once scored each hit
so she deleted
your songs
from her playlist
and never stepped foot
near the place you met
because she was addicted to you
and she knew
if she had even a taste
of what you once were
she would crumble
just like your relationship did
she was an addict
and you were her drug
dont make her relapse
s.s
Eight-
In a general store,
the middle of nowhere.
I stared at toys,
oblivious to the stranger too close.
A hand on my backside,
a rub and squeeze.
The cops huffed,
'are you sure it wasn't an accident?'
'Is it really that important?'
Suddenly I knew shame.
Twelve-
Last day of school,
cornered in an empty classroom
by my lifelong bully.
He tore my pink shirt,
grabbed me where Trump would have.
My father helped.
Did what he could.
Told me it wasn't my fault.
But the teacher,
a male who never liked my voice,
groaned in private,
'this will ruin that poor boys life.'
But what about me?
Sixteen-
A class full of people,
feeling pretty as a rare treat.
A boy with a knife
sitting too close,
hand inching up my thigh.
A malicious smile
with a dangerous whisper,
'spread your knees.'
I never told,
It had hardly mattered before.
But that's the last time
I wore a skirt to school.
Eighteen-
The officer taking my prints
made me cringe as he lingered.
His compliments made me shudder
but I told myself I was paranoid.
Leading me to a cell
he offered me a private room
leering as he mentioned
I wouldn't feel alone.
I almost laugh now
at his offer to pay me with juice.
But a year later at the hearing
his lude claims were loud enough
for everyone to hear.
A court room full of people
heard him brag about things
he never did.
Only one person shut him down
without even a word.
Simply a glare of digust
that I was too scared to give.
I fell for a fairy,
She was flower
Daughter of the sun.
I worship the moon,
I live among fungi.
A fairy that was fire
I am a rat,
Soaked by the moon's tears.
I don't know why,
But she kissed me,
I dreamt of being a creature like she was,
I dreamt of living in the sun
Among the flowers of her back,
Her wings,
I dreamt.
She didn't like my sadness,
My insecurity,
The spores growing on my skin.
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
Please be cautious when reading. If you feel you'll be triggered in any way, please don't read. Thank you.
I'm done.
Done with trying too hard
Done with sleepless nights
Done with disappointment
Done with being a disappointment
Done with hearing their voices in my head
Done with seeing visions of my abuse
Done with being around people
That just don't care
I know they care
But my brain tells me they can't be trusted
They're like everyone else
I avoid "everyone else"
I'm done with my anxiety
Done with my sexuality
Done with my gender
Done with my PTSD
Done trying to pretend I'm happy
When all I've wanted to do is cry
But crying would make others uncomfortable
And doing that in the past led to peer abuse
I'm done with my brain going on tangents
Done with having a constant smile on my face
Even though it's fake
And everyone knows it is
Done with heaving after a panic attack
Done with my abusive visions becoming reality
Done with feeling nothing
Done with being anything
Done with breathing
Done with living
Because at this point
What is there to live for?
Her light was extinguished by the dark
In a sudden implosion of madness,
And all of the stars that once dusted her sky
Now lie as the dying embers of what used to be
Her fiery soul.
My discipline is weaning; I should get up and do my chores.
This mess is brooding deeper and hiding all the floors.
The dishes smell like shit; the trash is overflowing.
Why, O why, do I stumble by and let this charade keep growing?
My vision has been blurring from pure domestic purging.
Unhealthy mechanisms have given to isomniac flurry.
A blue screen has been screeching; blue rays keep me awake.
I'm sick of turning over just to see that I'm a fake.
What made you feel the need to take my kind heart,
and break it in two.
Not only my heart but my mind, my pride, my self esteem.
All of that was broken the last night we spent together.
Why did you do it?
You told me to shut up, that yelling won't help.
You told me that if I ever told anyone I would regret it.
That nobody would believe me.
That I was not worth enough for people to care.
Why did you do it?
I gave you nothing but love and support for a month,
expecting the time to go longer.
But you didn't care, you used me.
For a whole month, you pretended to love me.
Why did you do it?
You are my biggest regret.
You are the one that pushed me over the edge,
the reason I ended up in that hospital.
You shot a hole in my heart and it can never be filled.
You pushed me onto that bed even when i said no.
You forced yourself on me when i tried to get away.
No you did not rape me,
but you did everything else.
And you made me do it back.
Why did you do it?
hell
is where
I would go
if by all means
I get to spend
my last day
on earth
with you
Hold my hand
Or burn it completely before leaving it again
Kiss my lips
Or sew them forever before kissing someone else again
Take me in your arms
Or bind me with chains before walking away again
Look into my eyes
Or blindfold them before disappearing again
Wipe my tears
Or turn me emotionless before breaking my heart again
Give me some more memories
Or erase them completely before waving goodbye again
Let me live in your heart
Or don't let me live, kill me before murdering my soul again
Kill me when you decide to leave the next time
Because I will live with you or never live again.....
What do you see in me
Do you see a smiling girl?
A smart girl?
A girl who loves to sing?
A girl who always knows how to make you laugh?
Or who knows what your going to say?
A girl you can tell everything to?
A girl who sees the good in the world?
Who sees nature differently?
Who sees purity in the dark?
Someone who knows how to fly?
What if I told you...
I'm the girl who goes on crying for days...
I'm the girl who does school work 6 hours straight,afraid to fail....
I'm the girl who poors out her feelings in song because no one can hear my words...
Who only makes you laugh so she doesn't cry...
Who knows what you will say because she remembers every one of your words afraid they will be your last...
I'm the girl who listens to your problems so she doesn't have to live through hers...
Who sees the good so she can chase away the bad...
Who wishes she could be a bird that way she'd finally be free...
I'm the girl who is the dark so she picks out the purity because she wishes to be that pure...
I'm the girl who only knows how to fly because I'm scared to fall...
Do you still see those things in me?
Am I still that never ending joyful person?
I will tell my daughters
always come home to yourself
your worth is not only in your body
it is in your spirit, the stardust
flecked across your skin
I will tell my sons
never become a wolf
never devour flesh
and forget a woman’s name
say her name like a prayer
cry oceans and taste saltwater on your lips
for when you break and fall
you can rebuild and stand
for that is how you both will learn to love
I kiss your toes one by one
and wipe your feet like the face of a new born babe,
in the hope that they may trample me lighter.
"10 reasons I love Fall"
1. The warm wind blows, reminding me of your soul
2. The sweet smells arise with the wind, reminding me of your scent
3. You can wear my Hoodies which lay dormant all summer.
4. We can sleep in until class starts,
5. I can drive you there and pick you up,
6. We can repeat steps 3 through 5.
7. I can concentrate on looking in your eyes
8. We don't have summer to distract us
9. We can finish out the year, focused on each other
10. There's nobody else I'd rather listen to the rain with.
grief is fingernails in your palm
when you're standing in a public restroom
wondering why everything feels wrong.
grief is not having worn mascara for four months
because streaked ink-black cheeks isn't a look
you want to be known for.
grief is dancing on the verge of tears
in a math class, because your mind wanders
too often and death looms too large to avoid.
610
You’ll find—it when you try to die—
The Easier to let go—
For recollecting such as went—
You could not spare—you know.
And though their places somewhat filled—
As did their Marble names
With Moss—they never grew so full—
You chose the newer names—
And when this World—sets further back—
As Dying—say it does—
The former love—distincter grows—
And supersedes the fresh—
And Thought of them—so fair invites—
It looks too tawdry Grace
To stay behind—with just the Toys
We bought—to ease their place—
The gardener once knelt down to rub two sticks together ,
he watched the flames crackle ,
and warmed his hands against its embers. glow , .
More wood would be needed to burn this dead brach vine ,
That never bore its name.
thick black smoke enough to choke a man bellowed. from its. being ,
A vine pruned only to leave a stone cold sodden heart .
So thick the smoke it brought a tear Unto my very eye ,
So black my sin a sickle or reaper could not save ,
this fickle branch from its flame.
For what is dead is not for the harvest and must be cast into the
fire ,
And what is worth keeping pruned back for a flower to reign .
For what is a man who has no peace ,
Or joy in sorrow ,
Or patience with his friends . ?
If love cometh from Friendship and in that love there is no
Sorrow or pain .
Or trust , or even faith to light the way .
A couple held hands in Church ,
Not bothered by the flame that burns deep ,
Pruning their lives so sin can't cast its. Stain .
And can it be then ,
That I. a sinner trust ,
In a gardener that prunes and tears all
My dead branches down to dust ,
Thrown into a flame
That ,
On a hill ,
On a cross ,
This flower might bud ,
and it's. beauty forever remain .
nostalgic venom
the past feels untouchable
future lightbulb broke
golden were the days
doing drugs on the beach
hands glued together
struck by luck lightning
you loved me delirious
miss you like wild
Those 2 words, keep writing
Made me feel so appreciated
I feel overjoyed, thanks for the support
I'll keep writing,
Until words stop flowing,
Until my eyes dry from crying
Until I feel happy
and I know that i'm very far from that
Until then, I'll keep writing.
A young girl, somewhere,
messaged me.
She said my poem gave
her comfort.
She asked if she could
make a copy.
I can only guess it's hanging
on her wall.
When he took my hand
this drab world changed
summer grasses became
a carpet of green where we
lay hour after hour lost
in each other
My eyes saw color in everything
and my heart filled
with raw emotion
His touch rivaled the warmth of the sun
causing buds to blossom on our trees
my lips open to his
my heart open to love
<3