my hands brush over the wall,
guiding me through the room
as my eyes are blindfolded
by a thick, grey, opaque fog.

my hands stumble over every surface
until they glide over a smooth lamp.
the blindfold is taken off my eyes.
and I see my reflection staring at me.

I blink at the handheld mirror, bewildered
as my eyes pursue the direction of the light.
I look into the mirror, yelling "eureka!"
because my heart is glowing, even in the night.

Its been so long
its taken forever
its what kept me going
its what kept my head above water
its what i needed to survive
and here i am
about to be adopted
about to be happy
all for the first time
here i am with my new beginning

Now I have never kissed you before

But I have imagined it.
What it might feel like
Or what you might do

Some people say it’s magical
But do you think that’s true?

Because my Father says it’s like a raindrop,
Now I don’t understand that too

But he’s had a lot more experience than me
If I had to guess what he meant
I would say it’s soft,
Welcoming,
And sends a chill down your spine,
Is a little uncomfortable at first
But in the end, it will be just fine.

If this is true, then it’s not how it feels that makes it magical
It’s the fact I’ll be doing it with you.

The world, over millennia, keeps evolving. Over 3,200 years of recorded history, powers, nations keep shifting, sometime seismically. Now is the time for not only the grandest seismic shift ever, but also the one that will save Earth and all living creations upon it. It is time for Earth to become Earth--not a scattering of over 200 nations with artificial borders, but an Earth that has one land, one sea, one sky, one people. The boundaries that have simplistically divided us for eons are not on maps, but in our minds and hearts. The air and water of Earth, even the pandemic, take no notice of national borders, nor should we, the Citizens of Earth. Technology, with its innumerable advances, has made us into a world when all can become one. We are free to be our real selves, to spend our variegated lives not aggrandizing, but by sharing and giving. Rather than dreading our superficial differences--our different skin colors, our different cultures, our different religions, our different languages--we can explore and enjoy them. Let us finally be what we truly have been forever, one big, worldwide family of humanity. No more wars, no more weapons, no more killing. No more hunger, no more homelessness, no more hopelessness. No more ignorance, no more illnesses, no more social classes. No more wars, no more corruption, no more dictators. Only Peace on Earth forever. This is the quantum leap of which I speak.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

And so,
When his words ran dry,
my tears began to flow,
like a river of melted snow.

My heart has ached years for you
calling out like a nightingale's song,
lost in the wind.

Though you're colder than ice I still seek your warmth.

For the heart wants what the heart wants

If times must be counted for fear of forgetting
Then, my love, the second we're betting
Anything beyond what we can put in a box
I'm wagering a wish in the form of chains and locks
Because if time teaches anything, it's the pain of fear
And if my love is quantified, then I must hold all of it dear.

Events today,
Rather not say.

Beguiled to be;
No good to see.

Chastise forbidden;
Truth can’t be hidden.

Can it be undone?
Promise I’ll be gone.

Years of being sealed;
11:11 Please be healed.

In a blink of an eye;
Soul’s about to die.

Why’s living so tiring?
Please keep on smiling!

How is innocence?
Still living with essence?

Time Machine
Have me win.

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

Are we broken babe?
Unmade
By all that remains
Of what made us.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

Higher reasons known,
Thats Unknown 2 my eyes,
Just a little spreader,
Enhancer Of Joys,
To incite n implant memory staining smiles,
When Mind Absorbs,
N
Harnesses Descended Visible Clues,
Highest Highs,
Muchas Gracias,
4
D
Ability
2,
Be D Vessel of Calm during storms,
Eagle style rescuer,
Whenever hearts are torn,
Or
In times of sadness or gloom,
Highest Highs,
Via Towering Volumes Of Gratitude,
Muchas Gracias,
4 D Ability 2,
Be
A listening Ear,
Shield Of Courage,
Which melts out fear,
In an instant
Or During Moments when called to turn skies from being grey to blue,
Highest Highs,
Muchas Gracias,
4 D Ability 2,
Utter sighs to Invisible  
Agents of Highs
&
Hear n Recognize,
Messages In my eyes,
Some drop in my lap clues,
Highest Highs,
Muchas Gracias,
4 D Ability 2!

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

Broken hearts are quite common
a scarred one a treasure
and mending one can take a lifetime.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

when I die
do not burn me
or bury me inside the ground
instead cover me in ink
and surround me with papers

- a poet never dies

you write
poetry on the
wind
and expect me
to read

Morbid,
Morbid!

Slowly, the dragon coaxes his slow but
precise ambulatory apparatus.

Deep from within the primal mind,
We all exude marvelous exhortations, excretions and exhibitions.

Yet as  the dragons  glassy, languid, beaded eyes
fix upon our hapless hero,

So is his innocence consumed.

You.
Are.
A.
Walking.
Masterpiece.

all is well here all is quiet

messages sent about including

it was too warm for a fire
yet we lit it anyways for company

to smell the wood
to hear the cracking
the tick of the stove

yesterday we sent out messages too
including

one hour spent
remembering
st agnes

in cornwall

This place. I don't know.
so many people / want to block..
  their words,
they climb all over me.
one's in particular--

Heart-expressed words bringing down
the healing light of relationship to the parts of me
who up until now
have known little or no relationship of its kind;

      and there is conflict within me as I fight it..
    years the locusts have eaten; and the opportunity of restoration;
      often squandered. in vanity.

none of that mattered much;
until now--

When the unredeemed heart-parts of myself
reveal to me their dormancy:    left detached
from community  with one another--

  an internal community   necessary
  to withstand  the brilliant light    and glory
  brought down by those here who write as she does.

          but she;

    through her unfiltered heart-writes
    brings down the very magic and beauty and fullness of the
    relational dance of the godhead.

     And it's raw beauty is ****** slayin me.
I so want to block her  for the conflict she creates    in me  

                     .
      but I will  press on

and allow her supremely-smithed words--
(words not even written to me)
to have their beautiful way,

in

and through..
the help that has been all around me;
(each and every one of us)
waiting...  
             all along

   --as  if they were cleaning my soul,
      .. re-integrating my fragmented, heart-parts.

Sometimes I am naked
and look at myself.
My tan skin looks less brown than it looks grey
like ashes;
Perhaps it's grey like the burned cultures,
the damages traditions
and bombarded destinies.

When I put my dark hand
onto someone's fair skin
I see the ashes
and I'm reminded of histories we'll never get to cherish.