if we could truly feel love

perhaps we would rise with the dawn

like steam over the lake,

evaporating into the soul-shaken skyline.

our questions would have not

answers, but more questions.

the flames that licked our lips would

fall on flowers and

they'd bloom.

we would plant gardens, seeded with our dreams

and the seconds that split would stretch

to last lifetimes.

we would see the world

in a drop of rain,

folded over in paradoxes and surreal truths.

if we could feel the vast expanse

of time and space

of pain and regret

and if we could love all the same,

it would not be romantic in the least:

romance is heartbreakingly unequal,

and if we could love,

we would love with billions of fragments of

broken hearts, sewn together,

perfectly imperfect,

spitefully ironic and

irrationally equal.

A building toy
A broken piece
An inocent child
trying to rebuild

Only to find
it all tumbled down
Breaking the parts
that once were complete

I wanted to be her peace but ended up being her hell..

I am sorry.
I say it often,
But what does it accomplish?

It heals not the wounds of the past,
Nor does it prevent transgressions in the future.
It saves not the victim from the pain,
Nor does it save the transgressor the guilt.

So why do I say it?

Because I am scared to lose a person I care for.
Because I know I have done wrong by you.
Because I don’t know what else to say.

But what can I say?

I miss the way we held each other early that Friday morning.
It seems so long ago.
I miss the way we swayed in the dark in the kitchen,
Content to be together.
I miss the feeling of your lips on mine.

But what can I do?

I have tried, truly tried, to find some semblance of this again,
But it’s not the same as it was.
And I know you can see that, too.
Too often these trials only lead to more tribulations.

Why do you stay?
What for?

You hurt,
And I can’t help you.
You cry,
And I can’t comfort you.
You deserve the world,
And I can’t give it to you.

I am sorry.

something about u
makes everything seem
less heavy

When two poets love,
Words start to hang in the air
And lose their meaning.

I




Want



You


so


*******



Bad



BOY

I will never stop running
with wild horses along the sea
wary of you, the wisteria-
devouring every rotting barn
in search of prey

you knew how much i was hurt in my past
you told me you wouldn't hurt me like they did
you told me you loved me
that i was pretty
that i was kind
that i was  everything
everything to you
i gave you my soul
i opened up to you
i trusted you
i loved you
i fell for you
i laughed with you
i cried with you
i comforted you
i gave you everything
and one day
i ask why are you being so cold?
i ask when did you stop loving me
your reply "now"...i think that truly broke me

He treats me like a princess. He makes me feel safe.
Whenever I call his name I know he'll be right there.
He says I'm the prettiest of them all. He says he'd do anything to keep me warm.
I know I can trust him enough to tell him about my darkest parts.
I know he's the one for me. I know  he would never hurt me.
He's literally perfect. In every way shape or form.




But you're the one I love.

My                                              
heart is                                                  
A LANTERN                                              
Inside, lives a                                              
fae                                                  
♡         ­                                       
g                                          
e                   ­                 
n                                      
t                       ­                       
l                                                
e                                          
♡                                
a                          
  ­   n                                
      d                        ­                  
      ♡                                       ­             
s                                                  ­  
w                                              
e                                        
e                     ­             
t                                        
♡                                                      

                  With
                   bright wings
                     G L I T T E R I N G
                     with love, life and
                     hope
                    ♡
                 f
           o
           r
                 ♡
                         p
                             e
                             a
                       c
                 e
                     ♡

As                    
I grow,                
S H E  R E M A I N S              
youthful, timid,              
safe                
♡              
a        
f      
r        
a                
i                  
d       ­     
♡    
t
     o
♡
f        
l              
y          
♡

                                        She
                   ­                     spent days
                                          JUST  CRYING
     ­                                     feeling so lost
                                          Hurt
             ­                             ♡
                                  ­        I
                                               '
                                                     m
                                                      ♡
       ­                                             s
                  ­                             o
                                        ♡
                     ­          s
                             o
                                    r
                                          r
                    ­                              y
                                 ­                   ♡

                                           ­                             The
                                ­                                         summer
                                                          ­                OF HER HEART
                                                           ­                  became winter
                                                          ­                bleak
                                           ­                            ♡
                                                               ­                 a
                                                                ­                     n
                                                               ­                   d
                                            ­                            ♡
                                   ­                            c
                                                             o
                                                               ­   l
                                                            ­                d
                                                                ­                   ♡

                        But
                       with time
                          SHE MANAGED
                        to pick herself
                       up
                      ♡
                  a
                  ­ n
                           d
                                  ♡
                           ­               h
                                        e
      ­                           r
                          ♡
              p
      e
          n­
                 ♡

With                        
the help                        
O F  O T H E R                        
fellow Kings and                        
Queens                      
♡                    
t              
h          
a              
n                        
k         ­                         
♡                                      ­    
y                                      
o                                
  u                        
♡  ­        
s
       o
       ♡
m    
u              
c                
h        
♡

                   You                                                              ­    
all have                                              
A D D E D   TO                                            
my heart's inner                                              
flame        ­                                        
♡                                              
a                                                          
n   ­                                                       
d                                                      
♡       ­                               
h                            
o  ­                      
p                              
e                               ­       
s                                        
♡                     ­           

       Winds                                                            ­              
blow, wings                                                            ­      
NOW FLUTTER                                                          ­        
I'm ready to                                                               ­   
fly                                                              ­  
♡                                                                ­
s                                                              
i                                                      
d                                                
e                                                
♡                                                          
b                                                               ­ 
y                                                              ­  
♡                                                          
s    ­                                            
i                                                  
d            ­                                              
e                 ­                                                   ♡

He takes you to the place
of no return
and then
as you step forward
He parts the water.

Cynthia Jean

11.27.2019

girl friend
girl                   friend
girl                                                 friend
girl                                                      ­                         friend
girl                                                      ­                                                       friend
girl

I want to lay next to you
Caressing the constellations upon your skin
Mapping them with my fingertips
Memorizing them as our days come and go
As to never forget
Even as age impedes upon us
And new stars emerge and others fade
I will never stop tracing them
I will always want to learn you
To touch you
To feel you
To lie next to you

Actions speak louder than words,
You wonder why I'm speechless.