She was a throw away girl.
The one that was used.
She was a throw away girl.
So many times abused.
She was a throw away girl.

A bad man stared me in the eye with a punctured gaze.
Oh god whatever shall I do.
Oh god whatever shall I say.
Mother wished me a happy birthday.
Father wished me good luck in my journey.
Brother sisters please just utter my name.
My wife, my beautiful wife, will we ever be the same?

I don't want to take that bullet.
I don't want to fry my brain.
I don't want to sing the chorus.
I don't want to be so lame.

Christmas

12 December 2019

Pining for that special day,
Leaves only seedless hours,
Wasted, life unplayed.

You are my gift.
Let’s unwrap you.

You’ll never know love so strong,
Or much,
As the things that fit in your palms,
Wider than galaxies,
Brighter than stars in our eyes,
Wonder of skies,
When gravity’s a force you can touch
but you’re scared you could break it,
And love’s so real you can’t fake it.

Once upon a time,
there was a place where people could run
as free as they wanted
Once upon a time
That time is not here
That time has never been here

There was time, I was too gone
Only negativity I pronounced
So deep in my misery
Forgot about the people
I can count on
Wounded from the unseen battles
No voice to protect my crown
No solitude to lie down
Judgemental eyes, feeding from your cries
Blazing flames,
Burning your sage
Ashamed to carry
The scars you attained
Forbidden yourself from, mingling game
There was time, I was to gone
To call myself sane

i haven't known you that long
so i wasn't thinking of what could go wrong.
i liked all of you verily
thought we'd be more than friends happily.

but you were a scoundrel,
one i did not know too well.
you were a fabulist,
deceit is what you always insist.

i guess i was just too naive
in you i continued to believe.
now the red flags are waving at me,
telling me to go and fly free.

he's not you
and that's ok
he's mine
you're no longer ~
no guilt
no shame
no vindication
finally,
finally.

Your friendship
has calmed the storm that ravaged inside.
Your love
has extinguished the fire in my head.
Your laughter
has evaporated the tears in my eyes.
All that remains is calmness
Thankyou.

Smiling in delight.

Smiling in sorrow.

What's the difference?

You can't tell.

Lock me in ice,
Freeze me beyond my bones.
Let me become a visceral tundra,
Devoid of all,
Leaving only a chilling silence to roam.

Crystalize my blood; make ruby shards.
Tear the skin with your glacial flames.
Seize a still beating heart with Death’s arctic claws,
Puncture it with five frosting talons,
to diminish the simmering heat that remains.

If you’re going to ice my heart:
Spare no wrath, tear me right apart.

You loved her, you loved her so much that you wasted me.
You thought that i was her, but i'm not her.
I'm much more than her.
I'm a combination of twisted mind and a beautiful heart.

Love is funny thing
It has never been easy for me-
Opening up to someone

But with you it was so easy
Effortless
Seemingly perfect

Clear skies
What a surprise
Not a cloud in sight
Its almost as if there was no storm last night

one day
i might forget
the things you did
to me

and one day
i might not hate you
anymore

but when that day comes
i’m afraid
i might love you
all over again

a.g

You see the slump in my shoulders
the way I carry myself
the burdens of boulders
that threaten my health.

When you ask what's wrong
I pull up my guard
don't want your pity or sad song
won't tell you why life's hard.

So if you want to know
I'll bottle it inside
wrap up all remains in a black bow
and tell you I'm fine.

I lean on his shoulder when
I am down. By warming me up he

Calms me. “I’m sorry” I said,
But I’m told not to worry. He

Tells me I am loved,
That all he needs is me

And I couldn’t ask for more than his
Caring self, or the sweet words from his mouth

That picks me up from my lows. Was
There ever a time as enjoyable as this? Even a

Small moment I may have forgotten? I’m being straight
When I say that I can’t fit my joy in this line.

Someone asked me to draw
Draw what heartbreak looks like
I finally got tired of drawing a broken heart
And I started drawing you

Little by little the raindrops fall
little by little you see me.

Underneath the sheer
veil of doubt

I watch as my dreams fall
apart.

Do you think a girl could love a boy who writes for her a million poems?  That's what I plan to do.

mental illness is the
most expensive thing
i've ever owned but
never wanted

I want to get lost somewhere other then my own head
You’ll be fine  driving away with the words you should have said
While I’m under the moon wishing I was dead

A poet is no more than a person
A mother
A daughter
A lover  
Someone needing release
Or someone needing to recover


It’s the art they create when that ball of ink or stick of led dances on the canvas they so perfectly prepared.
And when the end result and their purpose become perfectly paired.

as she trudged up the mountain
        ^
      / \
    /     \
  /         \
/             \
victory pulsing through her veins

badum badum badum badum

her eyes set intently on the peak

a deathly stare

she knew she could do anything

anything at all

she was anything but meek

this world is not for the meek

Behold!
It's not cold.
Defeating winter,
Spring sends me love-letter.
Don't I need blue bird any more?
No, no, this heart he tore.
O poet, you are a liar,
You are a self-admirer.
You only like to hurt,
That's a long chart.
You are playing love-game,
Constantly hankering after fame.
Oh no! Hear me,
All the time I feel it's he.
Then, why are you away?
It's my strategy not to say.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I'm jealous of the rain
It gets close to you
Closer than I ever will
It touches your skin
It combs your hair
It comes when you're sad
It stays when you're happy
I love you but you don't love me
So I say
I'm jealous of the rain

She takes the stand
With the voice of millions on her back
And speaks the fact that we all know,
far too well to be true -                  
                                           Me too.

She is heard but not believed,
She is heard with faith deceived .

When will it be enough -
Is one in six not enough ?
Is one sister, one friend
still - not enough?

one colleague, one mother, one wife, one lover -
one teacher, one doctor, one preacher, one author -
one husband, one son, one brother.
Which one will it take, to stop
the non-consensual clock
and make us realise that -

Time. Is. Up.