i still
do not know
the poem i've been trying to write
and maybe
that's because
i haven't been
writing one at all
or maybe it's because
the poem i've been trying to write
is not ready for paper
and maybe
i'm the paper
that's not ready for it

Hard Topics more or less Essential?
To speak your mind raise your voice
Your choice

Life fundamentals which are potentially not fun to mention or list them in a Corrupt System
That is Systematically
Problematic

Absurd to merge these choice words
with opposing verbs
To please the Masses

Seeing how The Watchers watch
and observe from an Orbital distance

For they have their Watchmen and henchmen but not to be confused with
Jehovah's true witness

For the rings of Saturn have
dangerous curves

These here I recognize as anti-Christ like
or anti-Christian affiliated or anything
remotely anti-Christ or Christian

Like a one world religion
I'm talking NWO false prophetic enlisted
Tricksters mixed in with vicious
Political figures

No figment of my imagination
hearsay or a conspiracy with a twist

I'm just down for exposing
Who's Who
Call me a Conspiracist
with a list

No.. better yet
I'm more like a Realist
with a real list

And no I'm not Heaven sent
or Hell bent on the descension of
your opinions

Because I have my own Ascension
to ascend to

With other worldly entities from other
Dimensions against me
Who hate me for being Christ affiliated
Opinionated

With a whole unholy Nation sanctioned
to alienate me with more hatred?
Big Mistake

For I'll just debate it as being Underestimated
And hold true to the Essentials
of Life fundamentals
Unabated

"Plausible deniability" is an euphemistic phrase often used, it seems, by the CIA, among many other spying agences around the world, that really means "lying."

Is "lying" what our flag stands for? Is "lying" what we really want our flag to stand for?

When push comes to shove (too often, literally, as in "off the cliff"), that's exactly what it stands for.

What a morally grotesque, spiritually denuded flag we therefore salute unwittingly.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

The Ummah is sweltering with the heat of sins and immodesty.
When will it transfer into an oasis of humanity?
When will there be a loving bond like one between the Ansaar and Muhajireen?
When shall shamelessness be shunned away?

There are moments
When the wonder of God's creation
Catches the eye and you can only stop
And experience joy.

maybe
the answer
isn't to escape
my own head
but
learn to love
and know it
as your own

He love you because you listen, i love you because you learn...he loves you because your beautiful i love you because you're bold...he love you because you kept his secrets, i love you because you told. He loves the pain you accept, i give love till you unfold, he tears your heart apart, i collect the pieces and make them whole. He imprisons you with lies and promises, i remove loves' blindfold. I'd die before he BANG....there goes another Hero, added to loves' death toll.

If only you had been
Addicted to me
The same way that
I was addicted to you.

I would stop my day
For you
But you would maybe
For me.

I have questioned
‘Was I not enough?’
Countless times
And I know that I was.

Then at the same time
I know that I was not
I was not a Sativa or an Indica
So what was I to you?

Incredible!
Donations made in trillions,
By Muslims all over the world.
A form of almsgiving in Islam,
Which is treated as an obligation or form of tax,
Whereby a Muslim must pay 2.5% Zakat on all his savings and wealth,
Be it cash, gold or properties.
Zakat is distributed to the poor
and needy in form of food, clothes, medicine and even education.
The concept of zakat is that a part of your wealth should be shared with the world in the name of humanity.
Zakat is one of the five pillars of Islam,
Its importance next to prayers.
14/4/2021

a land textured with years
and sage-scented experience
crackles under boot-clad foot

and within flowing crystalline skies
a cloud's dream of permanence
withers like the desert sand below

there’s no one
i’m an awful person
and the idea of slitting myself comes

i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much

There are but
two words
that matter in my
world
and  in my heart
You
and
my  crazy family
maybe that makes it
three

I traced the texture of your words
Like my heart was blind
And your voice was braille

A slender figure
Wrapped in a flowing fortress of red
Twirling around
In the world of peace
It’s all forgotten
Till the figure stands still
The music stops
And the red hangs down
Like a weeping tree
Alas life must go on.

the sky pulls its downy clouds
eastbound, up to her horizon,
for the spring is cold and
she is resting.

the sky, as cool as ice,
filters through the feathers,
hints of her just beyond
her night-darkened blanket.

Drown me in ink.
I don't want to see anything.
I want to be choked out
On the one thing that gives life meaning.

Slit my wrists with paper.
I don't want to live anymore.
I want to bleed crimson onto the page
And give meaning to the words I write.

My eyes watch
as the sky
is painted with colors of
soft blues & white fluffs
to
vivid pinks & dazzling oranges.

Soon to be
pitch blacks & deep violets
with tiny bright lights
speckled on with flicks of His brush.

Soon to be tomorrow,
strokes of
happy yellows & stunning golds.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

I'm up, but don't feel awake,
world has me broke,
but I won't let it break.

At times I don't live my worth,
but I'll never forget my place
Stick to my guns,
and aim my ideas straight.

I'm guided by faith,
hopes of it working out in the end
For this life to be alive,
have to stop pretending to be dead.

A simple quest. Journey of life till the very end.

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

If you had used plain, descriptive words in our conversations instead of your cryptic phrases that made no sense in the context, I would have happily lived with you for the rest of my life.

She was a thrifted sweater and denim and jersey knit sheets
Pizza breath and red wine and toothpaste
Alabaster skin and knotted hair and freckled shoulders
A tangible dream and my favorite good morning
She agreed to let me kiss her and I agreed to let her slip my shirt over my head before she became
Blood and tears
"I trusted you" and "I’m sorry"
Midnight poems and a drunk "I need you"
I’m afraid I loved you like the way I wrote

Limbs tangled
Relaxed
Gentle warmth
Distant TV noises
Golden light through window
Silences, never awkward
Perfect conversations
Shared jokes and laughter
This is the desired comfortable

smart, popular boys in third grade,
with their stupid khakis
and dumb sweatshirts.
i didnt want their popularity,
i wanted to be a boy.
a smart boy with stupid khakis
and a dumb sweatshirt

the kind, pretty girls in fourth grade
their pretty hair
and painted nails
i didnt want to be a pretty girl like them
i admired them
but i was too young,
and it was too wrong

it was wrong to want to be a boy,
to want to love a girl,
want to be a smart boy
with pretty hair
and painted nails

i should've been the perfect daughter,
but im a smart boy
with pretty hair
and painted nails.

The price we pay to be free
is all that we have to give
no matter in what cause it is shed
blood in the gutters is always red
buying liberty
is expensive
taking it costs more

I'm sinking farther into the sea
Air cut off, unable to breathe

But it's not all too bad
The water's warm
and the fish look nice

It's a shame I can only see this
By myself
at the end.

Miss Rosy Dee
Why won't you ever love me?

Miss Rosy Dee
Why did you have to rip my heart out?

Miss Rosy Dee
Please love me

TW!!!! - panic attack description

Pressing
Fearful
Panic-stricken
Terror
Paranoia
And shifting eyes
Scared of who- or what- might be around the corner
Not even daring to look out the window
Afraid you’re being watched
A crawling sensation on your skin
A dark feeling
Suffocating
Feeling a weight on your chest, like you can’t breathe
You’re scared
You want to run
You want to hide
You don't feel safe anywhere
They’re going to get you
They’re hunting you down
They know where you are.
You can’t hide
You can’t run
You’re going to die.

i remember
your favorite
flower.
do you
remember
my name?

i love you
i love you
when are you going to let me love you

I know, ultimately, it's true what they said,
That when it all comes down, we make our own beds,
Now we're adults, let's mess up the covers by jumping like kids,
I know we've a long way to go, but there's a life to be lived!

the days are going by, faster than we all expected;

A little seed
For a huge tree.
A drop of love
For eternal bliss