his eyes held tales i never had known
of worlds and ideas, creatures and such
i hadn’t pondered since i had grown
why did getting older come in that rush?

after looking in his storied eye
i’ll never regret saying hi

the first time we talked
it felt so perfect, so easy, so simple
the road of friendship we together walked
there was i greeted with his happy dimple

after looking in his storied eye
i’ll never regret saying hi

with trust and trust we soon grew
his wise young mind greeted mine
he trusted me with what was hard to construe
a world filled with all that would common shine

after looking in his storied eye
i’ll never regret saying hi

fairies, giants, ogres, even glowing bright flowers
all found in his world awaited me
smiles greeted me in droves and showers
their excitement and mine gave the boy great glee

after looking in his storied eye
i'll never regret saying hi

he brought me there whenever i’d wish
and guided me towards his favorite things
during which conversations would to me switch
for he said my voice gave him wings

after looking in his storied eye
i’ll never regret saying hi

there i was, his only hope
and in a way he was mine
our tie was tough like rope
and our conversations aged like wine

after looking in his storied eye
i’ll never regret saying hi

it was my fault that darkened day
i let myself forget his worrying head
i let him away from me stray
now due to me, a friend is dead

i’m sure after looking in my boring eye
the dead magic man wished i’d never said hi

I collect memories
Distill them to the letter
And barrel them for aging
Only to later get drunk
Off last life's nostalgia...

My family;
The sweet taste of white wine
I swirl their image around my head
And sip on it every now and then

My friends;
Shots of fireball
Shockingly spicy, yet sickeningly sweet
The liquid trickles down my throat.
Cuddly warmth

My love;
White girl wasted off your rosé
The color reminiscent of the flush of my cheeks,
As bubbly as my disposition
A mix of two "goods" that make a "great".
I can't wait to taste you again

You came to me like an unforeseen tsunami.
And like an unguarded shore, I welcomed you with open arms.

I know that you go as fast as you come,
Yet I let you scatter me all over the place,
And leave me teased by your waves.

As a matter of fact, nothing matters at all
As a matter of opinion, I love it all

If my inside secret radio ever changes its tune
I promise to never pass that on to you'n

Please
bury me there--right there--in the
shade of the sycamore where the
sand will never dry.
When you carry me down feel the river rocks they
groan and grate beneath our weight.
Bury me shallowly so that
someday
if the rains return
the water will swell and find the strength to
carry me home.

In the twenty first century
Where we have been the most advanced we have ever been
Where we have central heating
Air conditioning
Online shopping
Open heart
And laser eye surgery
Never has the goal of a happy and pleasant life drifted further away
Than it has today
We have been taught how to fly high in the sky like a plane
How to dive deep in the ocean like a fish
But how to walk on this earth
As a happy and content being
Some of us, we still struggle
We can contact people on the other side of the world
But we can't connect with our soul
We search for peace
Swallowing pills to seal the cracks in our heart
To cover fear, loneliness and anxiety
Oh you who wander
Life is a drink of salty water
You are drinking for a thirst that never quenches
A hunger that never fills
On this path
Pain becomes unbearable
Calamities become intolerable
A search for peace of mind
The ability to sleep at night
Your chest will only become tighter
The dark will become darker
Until you realise
That the pieces of our heart can only be put together
When we have gratitude during times of ease
And patience during times of difficulty

Today I had a physical exam and they weighed me
So I ate my weight later in the day
And spent 20 minutes kneeling over the brim trying to get rid of myself
And congratulations,
I said to myself in the mirror
You're officially in this.
You've created this horror for yourself
Good luck.
(I want to tell this boy about it but he has no place in the corners of my room. I will leave him on the bed
Some things are best left unsaid)

In a sea of people
I am but a tiny ripple
Crippled by my desire to be different
I cannot follow the rest of the current

The sky remains the same
And the sun burns not my name
But of others who have solved life's conundrum
Which is not to live in a humdrum

In order to be complete
I must be unique
But to be such
I must give myself a little nudge
And live my life in the moment
Take adventures for my own enjoyment
Waste no time in a bore
Make life not a chore
Uniqueness is how I decide my life to be

I must be my own ocean
The ripples my life's explosion
Of good and bad
And everything in between

Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?

With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.

With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.

With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.

Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?

Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.

I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.

Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?

To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?

Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?

He moved as though he were a bird flying
He was sonic.
He is amazing.
He is everything.
He is cool.

There's a special time that makes anyone reflect.
From the cheater, the alcoholics , and the rest of the heathens and damned.
This is the time that makes even the worst of the self-righteous.
Sometimes it's what people need, to let loose, have fun.
Go crazy...
The moonlight does that to people casts them into a hypnotic dance of rage passion and sin.
Parents warned you about because it's hard to get out of.
People want to see the perfect side.
Like perfect guy, lovely young lady, the "perfect child".
But when the time come no one has regrets for the things they did.
Because who would want admit the villainous acts they've done.
But everyone goes back to normal the next day with just a fresh scent,
Of what the moonlight did to them.

The scriptures had a name and I became Eve,
The ancients often worshiped me,
The wise sealed lips in front of me,
The wisdom that mystics think of me
To Hindus I am Kali and Parvati too,
Yet I love and bear the lovers too,
I am a woman with beauty and brains,
And a worrier riding equine manes,
The mountain song and the Dolphin of the blue sea,
And Honey bee kissing the bosoms of Rose beauty,
I am the one with all these graces,
And I bring happiness to all new faces,
Does it matter what I am now and then
As my Gaya relaxes like perfect Xen.

"The Heart Break of All Aches"

Thanks for giving me something to write about
To feel about
To talk about
For years to come

How did he do it?
How did he spill the beans?
Did he get down on one knee?
Did he start with a speech?
Did he mention how he couldn't imagine life without her?

Was he nervous?
Did his face almost turn green?

\He's ready to lead
He's ready to leave
I am really happy for him\

Their love inspires
But can you believe
Just like a movie
I had some love for him once

But now its pushed to the side
Just like our friendship
Solid once
But now pushed aside
Next to his best man

Let me know how that goes

Yes, I’m the one who did it.
I put it there to remind you what once was.
And what could have been.
Now it’s just a melody, which falls on deaf ears.

It could have been a symbol of hope, if you wanted it to.
It could have been a callback to a simpler time, if you wanted it to.
It could have been a pleasant smile, if you wanted it to.
Of course, you didn’t.

You’d much rather have a loud voice in your head.
Or a knight on a horse without legs.
You couldn’t love a bird missing a few feathers.
I hope you’re happy, no I don’t.

The wall will dry and crack, but the mark will stay.
It will serve as a beacon, a lantern for the future.
What once could have been a show of imperishable love,
Is reduced to a simple drawing on a plain white wall.

Most Demons
Hide in an
Angel's body

-Haiku



Cooler colored air
Autumn reaching from the sky
Yet no palm fronds fall.


-R.

If you’re never going to love me,
and when you do, you’re not going
to do it right,
I appreciate your absence.
My heart has grown fonder for a
proper gentleman, not a lazy sloth
who can’t go out of his way for a
beautiful woman.
You lied,
you hurt,
you messed up,
you never got worked up,
for me to be in your sad pathetic
life.
Since I am gone and I know
you are too,
I only want you to love
yourself.
It is the best thing you can do right
now for you and for everyone around you.
Start with yourself
so you never
hurt another
woman.

i want you
in every way there is to want a person

from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other

to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else

i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless

i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between

i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey

i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love

1 week went by before I realised I was waiting again.

Waiting for the pattern to re-erupt.
"Another one bites the dust"

You see they get infused with my sweetness.
Soon to realise their stupidity will leave them bitter.

Theres always new reasons, I'm never really sure if its me.

But politely I think I hit them like blinding sunshine.
Their eyes straight up facing the sky.
The beauty that intimidates.

I'm a short lived kiss.
A hug once missed.
I'm used to it now, being their form of a shooting star in their blank night.
Something so electric must fade.
Boys will always fall when they rise that quickly.

I'm yet to meet someone to stay on my level.
Someone who sees my inner beauty.
Boy after boy and now man after man.
I thought you didn't see me as a body.
But you moved on to a new sight as quickly as I blinded you.

I'd say baby girl I love you
I'd say baby girl I miss you
I'd say baby girl you can do this
I'd say oh my love
Take care

everything so transparent now,
my mind don't work, just judge.
i used to imagine...
awed by magic, lost in tricks.
it's so tragic, think, don't exist,
it's made us thick,
so complex.

what is there left to dream,
when our homes are running out?
what is there left to love,
when you can't love yourself?

i was lost in wonder as a kid,
dreaming of neon clouds.
my days of then transfixed.
your favorite things just one click.
don't resist,
it's our only script.

program our favorite things,
let your mind fade.
you are my favorite place to play
i'll wait

what is there left to dream?
when our cars drive themselves,
what is there left to love,
when you can't love yourself?

you are my favorite thing
today,
if this means anything,
please stay.

It won't go away
I need help
There's no solution
It's like a virus
Spreads all over
The shaking that won't stop
It won't go away

City lights talk to me
as I travel through the night
on the interstate
by car, by bus
or as I can see on a train
or from an airplane looking down.
Even the lights and so forth
of small cities, towns, small towns, and villages
that I travel through
speak to me.
A dirt road on a farm
or small town highways
and roads as they talk.
Yeah New York City and
the character it has of its own
at night especially
and driving the van with the cops honking
and people streaming
into the streets.
Yeah looking up at the jet airlines
at night as they talk to one with
their lights twinkling
This is soul to me, especially
Cleveland at night
and the Baltimore Bethany at night
and looking at the nooks and
crannies of big city ghettos
as you pass though on a
Greyhound during the day and night.
Yeah the chills you can get
especially at night
and daydreaming that
the 2 songs - Hot Child in the City
by Nick Gilder and You
Belong to the City by Glen Frey
as you waltz through big city
streets especially at night
thinking you're a tough
guy with epilepsy or something as you start
shaking or a been-around
drugster like I fancy myself

everything begins to fade
ice melts in the Sun
the delicate heart will seek the shade
when tears of lost love run
they drip into the stream of sorrow
that carry them away
lost at sea come tomorrow
when the moon submits to day

Her stomach hurts with a stabbing pain
Every day, again and again
No matter what she eats, she throws right up
And her boyfriend wishes it would stop

The doctors only give her pills
They use her as a money mill
He did his research day and night
Each growing day gave him a fright

Her pain grew to volumes she hadn’t ever had
Even to the point where she couldn’t even stand
He held her every day, he held her every night
But nothing in his power, nothing in his might

Could ever, ever help her
And he needed the doctors to learn
That if they didn’t help her, she’d be sitting in an urn
He never wanted that to happen because she’d never ever earned

That which was so deserving, only doing good
The only bad thing ever she’d done, as he had understood
Was break up with somebody, and that was all
So what was this, was this somebody’s call?

And so she’s slowly dying and the doctors do not know
They refuse to give her surgery, they refuse to diagnose
She cries of frustration and she cries out in pain
Every single night, again and again

I'm empty,
like a run down house.

I'm no longer sure,
of my whereabouts.

Where I am,
Why I'm here,

I wish for my company,
to disappear.

Now I'm faded and stale,
like an rusty old nail,

I wish to be social,
But I was always at someones disposal,

I wanted some space,
sometime to think and retrace,

to let go,
of the bad,

to try to stop,
being sad,

but the pain returns,
and the flooding thoughts burn,

Cast down,
destroyed,

no matter,
the length I avoid,

My thoughts run through my head,
and when I believe they have fled,

no matter how much I exceed,
my thoughts hurt me til I bleed,

I cannot,
escape,

the world handed me,
my fate.

sometimes i feel too much
sometimes i feel too little
i wish i could stay in that happy place
that lies right in the middle

when i feel too much
it's a torrent of emotion
a downpour of epic proportion
and i pray for it to end

yet when it does i don't feel enough
i'm numb, frozen, depressed.
I then pray for this to end
and i'd do anything to feel again

so i'm stuck in this happy limbo
never feeling quite right
like goldilocks in the three bear's house
i can't sleep at night

We'll be coming home tonight
We've seen every sine
A few timely intervals
And I'll make you mine

You'll be tangent to my curves
The approximation will be tight
Like an exponential function
We have infinite domain tonight

You don't need to worry about an x
We've already found our y
Our functions are constant
And the f (x) don't lie

We can carve out our own area
A little sector of secrecy
So as the arc of the night goes on
We'll lie together, parallel, just you and me