i miss the sound of your
voice,
the words in which you
spoke,
the love that lingered quietly
in the pauses of time.

i miss you in the sense
that i am no longer whole,
just a part of a poem
floating in the sky, looking for
eyes who are eager to read me.

i am not of the Fierce Lovers, love.
i love too softly, too quietly,
and perhaps, a little too deeply.

in the subtle touches of your
hand, i will be content.

i miss you...

so much that there is hallow
place inside me.

i wish you knew...

maybe you do.

maybe i don't cross your
mind as often as you cross mine.

but even then, your love
blooms in me.

in the gloomiest parts of my
soul,
you are the most beautiful,
most incandescent,
flower.

and you bloom gracefully, love.
gentle, like the petals that
fall with every passing day.

brushing softly against the
bone white cage.

i miss you, love.

a bit too often, a bit too much.

Trying to catch you
Yet you leap fast
Barely touching the soil
As if you don't want it to disturb it
Your hair ripples in waves
Where the leaves
Each carries a scent
And a soothing story
You run in front of me
And time to time you look back
Just to assure me
You're not leaving me
Your hand beckoning
On floating autumn whispers

Because the earth’s round
Doesn’t mean it’s  having a ball.

Because waves crash
Doesn’t mean that they aren’t in control.

Because the sea is deep
Doesn’t mean that it’s thoughtful

Because land meets the sea
Doesn’t mean that they agree

Because you float my boat
Doesn’t make me the captain.

These words are for me,
For I'm the one who's hurting,
I'm just healing myself.

your eyes still look familiar
but the looks they give me now are foreign

today,
I wore it again
and people complimented me
they say red is my color
and it suits me.

today,
it's too thick and dark
did I overapply
no, it's the right amount
just enough
to make them think
I'm fine.

today,
I look at myself
in the mirror,
and they're right
red shines on me,
so I applied
another layer,
and another
until my lips felt too thick,
but my eyes still see
the scars beneath it.

you
are the everything
causing me to be
broken
empty
lifeless

you
did it
it is all
you
your fault
why

me
forever damaged
full of hate
all for
you

Monday,
We woke up looking perfect, right?
Tuesday,
We're kind to everyone cause it's what we love to do, right?
Wednesday,
Put extra makeup on to hide the evidence of last night's beating, cause if anyone found out they'd laugh and tell us to **** it up, right?
Thursday,
We laugh because crying ruins our image, right?
Friday,
. . .I got in a fight.

I don't know about you but even on the moon's brightest nights,
it's still got a dark side,
Maybe we don't always see it, but it's there,
So don't judge me when I miss the mark on "perfection"

Nothing can justify your silence,
Unless you really don't want to talk about it.

this time of year feels like a memory already

I ride the waves of sorrow
to join eternal bliss
I await a kindly person
to plant a gentle kiss

We fell in love by chance,
We stay in love by choice.

I think
the world
needs
more
of us
than we
can offer

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

i remember she used to always tell me, it's okay to cry.
she gave me that look that said everything. as if she was silently telling me than it was okay to not be okay, to be broken, to be absolutely destroyed.
i'll always remember that side hug and proud look. the hand squeeze and happy tone in her voice when she boasted about me.
i'll remember everything now that you're gone.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

You can’t compare yourself
With the unbroken girls
Surrounding you
You already shattered
Creating
A new form
Of beautiful

-jt

“Why are you alive”
“You don’t deserve this”
“They would be better off without you”
“Leave and don’t come back”
“Push everyone away”

I should’ve
waited
for someone
like
her to
come
into my
life.

as i look through my window
i cannot find his light
he’s nowhere to be seen
i’m all alone tonight

his presence calmed me
silent and serene
his warm yellow shine  
a sight unseen

oh please come back soon
i miss you so much
i’m off to bed now
please stay in touch

I'm living an angel's hell

Heaven rained on me,
I breathed in the petrichor,
Bathed in the downpour.

THIS.  IS.  LOVE.  

yell it until the vein on the side of your temple pulsates, pulsates in my 21 year old mind

yell it until the bruises are gifts

yell it until the anxiety is your inspiration

I feel sick
Rotten to the core
All I want to do is quit
I can't take it any more

Nothing I do will stick
And just makes me feel more sore
I think about ending it
But I can't loose this war

I know there's no trick
To make me feel like I did before
But I'll keep on trying to make some thing fit
Because I believe life has more for me in store

Her soul is bleeding,
her colors are fading;
instead of becoming nothing,
she chose to gave her everything.

And so...

The world around her
suddenly turned brighter,
and there she was
slowly becoming duller.

The pain was unbearable
yet she silently endured it all,
she held the brush in her hand
and painted until the end.

Through the forest of trees from your lips

   I can read your unspoken words.

       As each leaf falls

   the view becomes much more clear.

       Words that once reverberated through the forest

   seem as lifeless as the fallen leaves at my feet.

        I await a rush of fresh air

    to stir and animate the dead silence around me.

someone once told me
you never forget your first love
you always love them
maybe in some strange twisted way
your brain forgetting
all the pain they caused
you love them
and i think they were right
because in a way
i love you
and i think i always will
for some nonsensical reason
i will never see the world
the same because of you
and sometimes i wish
i could change that
erase you from my thoughts
as you distort them
with your unwavering power
but then i remember
i wouldn’t want it any other way
you have shaped me
into the person i am today
and because of that
and i wouldn’t change a thing

- i'll never forget you

I often think back
to that letter
I received.

About what would have
happened if I
had read

it instead of letting
my friends choose
our course.

scared to fall,
but more scared
of never flying,
so i sit at the edge
and wait.