My pen is reluctant,
it complains about
this way ward i write
bellow par it bellows
you let no idea ferment
too quick on the word-
glad with these shallow
uttering

“Meet me at Diarrhea Park.”
“Can I come bare-footed?”
“No.”

.


revolutions of the second hand
innumerable to the watchful eye
has not comforted this bruising
nor can this heart run far enough


away from the pulsing gangrene
when off the darkest mile it tread
in the cooling of a fading day that
gentle crushing fixed completely


drowning in despondent smiles
wafting wavelets forlorn, wailing,
whispering affections now silent
wanting a happier, more innocent time


.

I used to read your poems
but lately you don't write
you're silent and aloof
you know that isn't right.
You can't close a door once opened
you can't abolish all your dreams
you're a poet of the heart
mustn't fall apart at the seams.
Say what you can in words
they speak the message true
spoken from the heart
the poems will see you through.
A hermit's not your style
a recluse, you are not
never give up writing
of things that you've been taught.
I used to read your poems
I'd read them once again
if you would send them out
(this one's from a poet friend)

daddy i know you are reading this
yes this is my direct please to you

I want the most in the world
I want you as my father to treat me as your own daughter
I want you as my best friend to be your closest friend
I want to be your woman, your lovely loving wife
I want to be your lover to fill your life with joy
and I want us to be equals as human beings

I want to mean all of these things to you

I want you to be yourself in all these angles
treat me as your daughter as your wife as your lover as your equal as your best friend please

to me you are my lover, my closest friend, my father and my equal, another human being, yourself

it’s what I want the most. this is what i want from you. you want to make me happy, this is what will make me happy for life. this is all i’ve ever wanted. daddy. my daddy. your little girl.

Of you
Of your voice
Of your lies
Of your fake smile
Of your fake love
And when I see you with her
After you called to say your flight was late
I know I’m tired
Of my love for you

When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow

the nectar of love
only comes with
the poison of pain,
two
for the exorbitant price of one

standing
at the chasm
of life and death
destroyed by love
grief remains
as life’s sole friend

the memories of love
now
belong to time
and this aging body
to the five elements.

© 2019

between waves
I write messages in the sand
the ocean takes them
and they are never seen again

Flirting with every woman on the planet
I’m not attracted to you as a person
You’re killing me smalls
There’s nothing in your soul to entice me at all

Under gloomy skies,
I stand watching the raindrops,
Thinking about you.

the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red
flowers

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't
matter

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault

Life to life, breath by breath,
In waiting pools escape my
death.
Day to day, night by night,
although you've left I see
the light.
Week to week, month to
month, I've failed to find
the things I want.
So minute to minute, hour
by hour, the coming tides
have lost their power. As
I feel my strength complete
the shifting sands beneath
my feet.
So, I shall find my solace
here, I've come to love you
all so dear.

I was floating, and peace came to visit me
I saw the waning crescent from the corner of my eye
Clouds making their way to the West
It was enough, and a distant voice mumbling
“Do you want to immortalize this feeling, take a picture, and make it your happy place?”

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

Dear death,

I have met life,
He wants me to fight,
But I'm so weak-
So can we meet?

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

We don’t see the carrots to be cut,
We see the sharp knife that could cut us.

We don’t see the bridge,
We see the other side of the railings.

We don’t see painkillers,
We see medication we could drown ourselves in.

We don’t see the train,
We see the tracks we could lay on.

We don’t see the nice view,
We see the cliff's edge we could jump off.

I come
To you today
With yet another scheme
For a wild, foolish adventure.
Coming?

They said,
"The most beautiful art is
looking into someone's eyes
when they talk about the
things they love."
And I said,
"Or looking at someone you love.
Or maybe, just maybe,
by looking at the mirror
is the most beautiful art
anyone should appreciate."

suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option

My words became
knives.
A paragraph,
a sword.
And when I
made
my first speech,
the room
                was
                        hit
                             with
                                            a
                                                    grenade.

When I say
that you are my Sun,
I don’t mean that you are
Luminous,
Brilliant,
Gilded,
Beautiful,
Bold,
Warm,
Or even the center of my universe.
I simply mean that
I cannot look at you
Without hurting

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  is to what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

with every bit of new information
i shove more gauze into the wound

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.

super
callous
fragile
limp-****
ex
be
hell
atrocious