I wish you loved me
but most of all
I wish I loved myself

When I met you
We clicked
We synced
Were were meant to be
You said you loved me
And only me
You were mine
I was yours
Until you stopped texting me good morning and goodnight
Until you cancelled our dates to stargaze on the roof
Until our late night deep talks turned into occasional small talk
Until you stopped saying “i love you”
Until you found “her”
The one who's puzzle piece fit yours just a little bit better than mine
We gradually turned into strangers
Because you found “her”
I used to be “her”
And so did the “her” before me
And so will the “her” after
But there is no “her”
Because none of them will be just right

Some friends are nice some are not .






❤️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😜😜😜😜😜😃😘😃😃😘😘😘

Father, it’s gone
Glad
I am not

Forgive me
Not
Your son

Demon
And beggar
Lost

Bonds
No meaning
Without

Longing

there is not enough soil
on this earth
under which
to bury You;

i will claw at the ground
until i find You,
i will exhume You
cradle You
until my rekindled warmth
reanimates You;

i will claw at the ground
and dig You out
of the grave
i buried You in
only to end up
dying in it myself.

i will.

His smile never met his eyes
expressions shatter
tensions flow
lips flash a twitch, truth hides

Remember still the evil grin
Telling one lie
Leaving behind another
respect is flattering
charming

He tells you one thing,
Then decides another way
Left is right when he wishes
Where do these conversations lead?

Respect is fenced by thorns
Underneath the petaled flower
She'll draw blood if provoked
Graze the blackened storm

Its here, this hurricane

Blow by blow, these scars are torn
Pillaged memory, lost feelings
Beyond a road I don't wish to walk
The hammer stings the lonely stone
Calling our names

The thought of death, self inflicted or natural,
can hit you with such dedication.

Like a forest eaten by the spark of a match,
it travels to your brain.

Until it's all you can breathe or hear
and see.
Until you beg to be alive and
understand what that means.

Time flew by but today marks a year,
That we became husband and wife my dear
It's been a journey filled with ups and downs,
But that's the way Love is as sweet as it sounds.
Today I Love you more and more as time goes by
My Love for u is unconditional no need to ask why
U and I are going to go through the most together as we
Continue to grow stronger as for I am u and u are me
From rock bottom to the highest level we continue to grow
I Love you so much I really hope that you know
No matter what anyone else prays on our downfall
I know that us together we will stand Tall
For time goes by we don't need to hide,
I will always be down to ride
Today Last year u made me it Queen and I crowned u King
U understand why you are my rock  u are my soulmate my everything
Crazy as it gets it's like bonnie and clyde
I promise you my love forever until I die
I meant it when I said I do til death do us apart,
We belong together and u will always have my heart.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I LOVE YOU !
Santandra and Antonio Asberry

Am I happy
Am I not happy

Am I afraid
Am I not afraid

Do I believe
Do I not believe

Can I make it happen
Can I not make it happen

Is this all there is
Is this not all there is

Can someone else make me feel
Can no one else make me feel

Will I act
Will I not act

I will die

Isn’t it funny,
The happiness we pretend to have
Is the very thing
Holding us back from living.

If we find something we are willing to die for, we truly live.
-Robert Watson

You are Shakespeare in a world of fools,
poetry in a world of broken words and
broken feelings.

in a world full of desperate cryings
and spiteful noises,
You are the jazz instrument that
makes it quiet in my mind.

You are love in the middle of
this war i am fighting with myself.

Your lips, pure art,
You are the smile
that brings colour
in this black-and-white world.

You
a dance in a summer rain,
You
a rebel lost in a world of rules,
a free bird,
a mystery,
You
the richest wine,
that makes my dark feelings
numb.

You,
beautiful as Vincent's Starry Night,
Your eyes are two blue moons
i get lost in
You,
the one who has a shelter in my mind,
You,
the purest feet that have ever stepped on my heart.

You,
the voice that lifts me from the abyss
whenever i fall.


To be or not to be is no longer a question,
to be with You
is the only answer.

“Falling in love” is a contradiction in itself, because in love there is only the rising, the ascending, not the falling.
You can not fall in love, but rather, rise.

She said "I'm falling in love."

I said "I'm falling apart."

we spent the day together yesterday
going to old haunts and drudging up
old memories
when you got in the car you hugged me
and said you missed me

you went out on a ledge
that before i would never had
gone on
but i followed you anyway

i told you things that i was scared
to say before and
you apologized
we held each other and my heart
yearned for more

we went into an abandoned building
and climbed to the top
drinking our beers
inside we you held me while
i rambled and when i turned to face
you there was a pause

i could feel the electricity
and the alarms went off as i leaned in
heavy breathing, hesitation
until lips collided, gently, nervous
before we fell into each other
hands covering one another
discovering lost territory

i had to peel myself from you
to take a moment to breathe
have a cigarette and talk about
what happened
we decided we didn't want anyone else
and we would take it slow
i said my fear of you changing your mind
in the morning
but you said you wouldn't and
i trust you

there are two types of sadness

there’s the kind of sadness
we ignore and
try to get rid of it
by finding new things to do
or we find someone to talk to
by blatantly avoiding any type of conversation
about feeling sad
about having any feelings at all
and then there’s that kind of sadness
that takes over
and it consumes any activity we do
we know it’s there
and there’s no possible way to avoid it
so we feed it exactly what it wants
it craves the sad music
it craves the isolation
it craves the anxiousness
and the sadness comes storming in
it has no manners
here we are calling sadness, an “it”
when all it is
is a feeling
that most people
call home

When the winds blow
free
The tree loses
a leaf
But the leaf loses
an entire tree

they buried a poet
sprinkled his words over coffin
tossed a book into dirt alongside
and waited few decades
to have a leaf sprout
for winds to carry his lines
far
to one with open ears
another circle in a world of squares
have phrases strain down the cheeks
into ink smeared on paper


buried in a trashcan
in a diary
in a library
in dirt
everywhere really...

It's 11:11
and for the first time
after a very long time
I'm wishing for myself
and not for you

Slow walking
in the street
with the rain
singing my praise

not for my joy
nor my sadness
but only to prove
my existence

Inside
I am a pirate reckless
A six foot seductress,
snake lithe
And a five year old child
Consumed with delight
At the funny tilt
Of a cat's ears.
This shell
Is quasimodo
A regret
Poor muse
To epic's knight
But inside
Inside,
I am dew, I am air, I am love, I am light.

Goodbye
Tears don't,
shed,
they were put,
to bed
The Ice Maiden said


© 2021 Carol Natasha Diviney

your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you

You are not the love of my life,
You are the life of my love ❤️

In a world of dreamers,
are you awake or asleep?

In a realm of promises,
which do you keep?

In a land of tomorrows,
when does he beseech?

Within thoughts of conclusion,
does she retreat?

In the be all end all,
why does she screech.

I think we're all dead now,
we weep
we
weep.

If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

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