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don’t tell me “I love you” ~by Roxanne, for Cyrano~

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that’s a verse I’ve heard many too times before,
that’s a curse of low majesty, a quatrain too plain,
if that’s your best sally, retreat, say no more,
too simp verses, or ungolden silences, agents of dissatisfying pain

I need the best of your taste
the finest visions that you eyelids occlude,
make haste for my mouth grows exceedingly
impatient for the other senses to do their tandem wooing

slap only my face with the creature comforts others savor,
words of diamonds and pink pearls mined from your breast,
the bejeweled words that will decorate my evergreen,
that never dies, lest, unless and until,
you want my mortal affection suppressed

give me your linguistic promiscuity, wake me from the stupor
of ordinary, arouse me with thy tongue coiling, a bee sting delivery,
a wet poem that makes all my offices weep, your mouth,
my souls recouper,
your wizardry bewitching,
answer my inquiry with unbounded festivity

then and after all, the plain simplicity of an “I love you,”
will be edged with sublimity, my mercies, your mercies
our jointed, sharp pointy, introverting, interlocking,
our futures becoming
our pasts


11:07am
19-9-30

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Jay M Oct 8
Yearning
Tempted so
Just a drop
A little hint
A moment to flee these things
Colliding in my mind
Leaving nothing untouched

Just a second
Just a time
For one such as I
To unwind
To come clean
Then all that hear
To forget
And just love
Despite ones failure
Despite ones mistakes
Despite ones awful thoughts
To understand
To empathize
With open-mindedness
And acceptance
Beyond what can be placed into words

One slip up
One mistake
Remembered
But there are one too many
Overtaking the brain
Spewing rage from each
Onto the cause
Making all worse
Slowly killing one
Until it is no more.

- Jay M
October 8th, 2019
.Loving you
Is a sinking ship
And as I bail water out
You pour bucket after bucket
Right back in
.

.It won't be long now till we're treading water.
Bede Sep 26
I made grand promises
Of what I'd do
To those that use
And manipulate you
My beauty, my love, my soul.

I don't know anymore
Who you truly love
And if I'm actually
The center of your world.
amber Sep 24
your embrace is warm,
and it puts me to sleep.
my dream,
is laced with you.
I awake,
finding my fantasy,
to be my reality,
as I drift off,
again.
memoona kazmi Sep 21
Eyes that see
Not the eyes
That judge
Mrs Robota Sep 20
How are you?
I don't know...
                                                     Are you okay?

I don't know...
                             please, i'm worried
                             say something?

i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go
if you need to leave
i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go

I don’t feel like myself
                    
            Who do you feel like?
I keep letting you down                        
           You know best
I never wanted to let you down
                                                 what you understand
                                                 what you don't.
                                                          ­                  You have to choose
                                                 what you want to do about it.

I don’t know......

                                           Leave anxiety aside
                                 what do you want to do with your life?


i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go
if you need to leave
i'll break my own heart
i promise i'll let you go

                                          i think you hate yourself
                         i understand, i hate myself too
                                   but you have to stop hating yourself. 
                           you spend so much energy on it it's absurd

I'm worried that you'd take such ******* seriously and get hurt…


Why?

self pity and self hatred are pointless.

I got a thirst I can't quench

                                  No matter how much I swallow

I got a thirst I can't satisfy

Please don't leave me
Please don't go
Please don't leave me
oh lord
i promise to be good
and true to my word
i promise to look people in the eye
and treat them with the respect they deserve
i promise to try harder
be stronger
and less fragile
grant me this plea
this prayer in the stillness of my heart
just give me one more day to live
one last chance to see the sun set
one final chance to make amends
and say all that twists itself tight in my throat
i beg you to spare me
i thought i wanted death
i wanted it so badly my lips were bitter with tears
it seemed better than facing the world
it seemed easier than facing myself
and the ones i claim to love (yet hurt so badly)
wouldn't everyone be happier
if i just disappeared
into the night
onto the welcoming cement so far below
it beckoned me
and
i
  threw
   myself
    into
     its
      arms
it is only when i struggle to draw breathe
that it hits
and ravages whats left of me
i realize i wanted to grow old
and watch my children prosper
i wanted to stare out at the world one day
and smile at what i saw
i wanted to live for all that i was to gain
and lose
so what if it hurt
so what if i was broken
so what if it was hard
it was still a gift
one that i had wasted so thoughtlessly
lord
if you are there
do not judge me when i come before you
i wanted wanted reprieve and looked for it in all the wrong places
and it was my demise
Esther L. Krenzin
A wandering souls lament
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