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jasmine wild Sep 10
the colours are gone again.
delilah Aug 21
Am I ready to love again?
Or do I miss the feeling
The feeling of being in love
Mark Wanless Jul 13
i did not change the
world today it changed me and
i am new again
Anais Vionet Jun 13
I've grown rusty and unused to summoning words from a blank page - but FINALLY - there's something new to describe. School (11th grade) is over - at last - and... more.

There's a party tonight - a REAL, honest-to-God, in person, PARTY - for about 30 of us. Yes, vaccinations are documented. Life seems to be beginning again.

I'm eager, like a boxer before the bell or a racehorse at the starting gate. I'm an animal, long constrained, who knows it's about to be set free.

I'm as disorientated as an awakened dreamer and I find myself laughing, drunk with possibilities as I try on clothes for preliminary impressions.

It's hard to quash tremors of impatience.

I'm sick of helpless, indifferent, pandemic necessity.

I'm SO tired of boredom, circling me like a vulture, in my panopticon palace - that I opted for a respite of pure terror - I'm SO clever.

I'm skipping my senior year of high school and heading off to university. I'd rather die than risk spending another year in my room(s) - I almost went crazy.

There's a paper on my desk, white as a bride. It says "ACCEPTED for fall term 2021."

I’m trying not to let on that I’m afraid. Is desire always a tangle of impossible, contradictory impulses?

I've decided that my life is my only real possession - my own, small, life-or-death riddle to solve.

I want to live with intent, like I'm aimed at something and I'm going to chase happiness like it could be caught.

My luggage is open - like alligator jaws. I stare into those tan, Ghurka depths - rigid with anxiety.

My sister (home on vacation from her surgical residency) sees me eyeing the empty bags.
"Are you worried?” She says, “You look worried."

I normally find the sister-teacher-coach vibe irritating, but now, somehow, it seems reassuring.

"No," I lie - then - "A bit," I admit, close-lipped.

But that's a later worry =]
There are some changes in my world - at last
jasmine wild May 7
you preach heaven
but surely not
because you did this
you left when you
promised you wouldn't
you always leave when you
promise you won't
what am i to believe then
once again i get burned
i stand but fall
holding onto the wall
it's ok i can
survive the heat
if i stop i die
help me
grab my arms and
pull me up
into the air
where it's gone
what scared me before
i long for now
i need to focus
too scared to leave the
small white room
it's safer than out there
i can't get caught
or i die
i burn once again
goodbye
closer, before collapsing
Raven Feels Apr 16
DEAR PENPAL PEOPLE, songs can make us imagine too;]


backs of freckles

cheeks to knuckles

breathes of swallows

deep to shallows

wild of mellows


                                                       ­                         -------ravenfeels
Morgan Vail Apr 4
I try my hand at love again,
And it feels so painstakingly sweet.
I try my hand at love.
Again,
I pull myself out of the deep.
The waters are blue,
Like when you are near,
And I wonder,
Why I let myself die.
I try my hand at love again.
And again,
I want to cry.
Shame stalks me like shadows
On my heels
Put myself through so much torture
Must like the way it feels

Blame you for depression
I know that isn't true
Because I already struggled
Before I lost you

Words you whispered walk through skull
Play phrases on repeat
Conscious of fact I'll never hear them again
Whimper in defeat

In midst of motionless self-pity
Chaos indetectably brews
Conflicted between sticking up for myself
Or withstanding more mistakes I'll excuse

A stillness appeared a moment
As quickly as arrived it is gone
Built on instability
Cannot trust pavement I tread upon

Rippling across distance
Wind melodic
Moving
Thin
Fabric of time and space silky soft
Not quite as soft as your skin

A trail of kisses leads to
waistband
By my moseying mouth
In turn undress me til body is bare
Slowly work your **** sin south

Bars of piano play symphonies
Resounding from the middle of my mind
Waves rolling in and out with the current
Notes are far more tender and kind

I let myself bask in bittersweet glow
Melting due to warmth of total bliss
Voice has never sounded so smooth
Collision never like this

My being joining in rhythm
Tangling until we are one
We remain connected by flesh
Some time after we are done

Eventually guilt emerges
Torn between directions
Why must head and my heart
Inhabit different sections?

I long to be with you
I'm afraid as soon as you know I care
Feelings will fade when I close my eyes
Open them and again you won't be there
Its the same thing over and over again
We often confuse what we wish for with what is

Our minds and hearts can get into such a mess
We think yet we feel even more
Only to find the door to an empty room once more
Once it was great it felt so much more
Yet I seem to already know but I cant help but let it have another try
I let my heart have the start
Only my mind is clearly more aware
How , I just tag along giving in to be
more confused and tattered again
We think we can be smarter we can be stronger yet we end up again
in a similar mess
Confused & Constricted
Maybe I will listen to my mind maybe just maybe I will..
© Jennifer DeLong 7/11/19
Mar 26
just when you think you've moved on
you find yourself back at square one
with an evolved mindset and mentality
ready to do the same thing that forced you to change
once again.
had to repost one of my favourites. maybe it's the beginning of my comeback.
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