and she was not beautiful, but she loved.
and she was not kind, but she cared.
and she was not bored, but she listened.
and all because she was human.
and the people like her turned her into a devilish monster,
whose flaws are haunting.
and nothing could make the ache disappear.

love doesn't choose its victim,
it kills from a distance,
without taking the time
to calculate the
emotions divided
and tears added.

he said it was too much,
to keep caring for a worthless girl,
he said it was too hard,
to keep loving her depressed soul,
he said it was too painful,
to keep watching her crumble,
he said it was too irritating,
to keep fighting for her,
and so,
he left with a few
hateful words directed
to her.

**but he never asked
how it was for her,
to deal with a scarred body,
a ****** up mind, and
an empty soul.

electric blue eyes
of yours, blind to
reality, always
incomplete thoughts
drifting through
your messed up mind,
trying to find
some kind of way to
get out, to be
transformed into
words and music.

even when she cries,
even when she yells,
she's beautiful.

the smell of cigars,
the mess around us,
the arguments we start,
the feelings that makes us fall apart,
the heartbreaks we suffer,
the words we mutter,
the broken pieces we repair,
the kisses we share,
the hugs that mend us,
the insults that turn to dust,
the tears we sob,
the banks we rob,
create one
chaotic perfection,
out of us.

she lost control again,
just like in any situation
where she's helpless and
anxious, and she needs
someone to calm her down
with sloppy kisses and
tight hugs, but there's
no one to give her what
she wants and needs.

morbid and unwanted
thoughts invade my mind,
i am captured into the hands
of evil power, a power that is
stronger than mine, and it's
overpowering me, so much
that i can't breathe and my
last breath is stolen by the
demon that has been above
me all this time, the demon
that didn't leave my side,
even just for a minute.

the thought of dying
someday, it's a good
enough reason to live,
i can live with that fact
that i am going to die someday,
to leave earth and finally
go to hell and meet
my satan.

you have to step
out of your comfort zone,
so you can enjoy
life's adventures,
whether they end up
good or bad,
whether they leave
bad or good memories,
whether they give you
nightmares or sweet dreams,
you have to learn to
take risks and not
be cautious, because
if you are, you are just going
to end up living
a bored, bland, lifeless life.

i am crawling
on the floor,
looking for
the dignity
i lost, when
i told you
i loved you.

the universe
isn't vast enough
and big enough
to show you
how much
i love you.

you and i
were made by satan,
doomed since we were born,
destined to go to hell.
you will burn holes
in my skin with your mouth,
and i will not
extinguish the flames
on my skin,
demons are impatiently
waiting for our arrival
after death.

a perfect winter
night includes:
hot chocolate,
blanket,
a warm place,
snacks,
good movies,
dimmed lights
and you.

but this ain't
a perfect night
because it doesn't
include you,
and i am left alone,
once again along
with my list,
without your name
written on the bottom
of it.

and i put you last,
because the last things
are the best,
right?

you promised
that you will
make me happy,
but you didn't.
                                    you promised
                                    that you will
                                    make me laugh
                                    but you didn't.
                                                                       but you promised
                                                                       that you will
                                                                       **** the light in me,
                                                                       but there was no light
                                                                       in me, so that
                                                                       leaves you with another
                                                                       broken promise.

over you
there are
tears, insults,
jokes and
other dumb ****
that made you
the person you are
today,
the people who
buried you
alive are in hell,
and you are dancing
with the angels
in heaven,
because you
survived
through their
insults and jokes,
the ones which
made you stronger
than ever.

if i am smiling,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am laughing,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
if i am having fun,
it doesn't mean
i'm happy,
it only means
i'm too sad
to do anything else,
besides hide under
masks which include
fake smiles and
a happy soul.

a sophisticated
dance, in the
empty ballroom,
at ten pm,
while everybody
else is drunk in
the next room,
we are dancing,
sober and alive,
*for the first time,
ever.