Years of addiction denied romance,
As alcohol was more important than affection.

When sobriety was finally achieved,
Cravings of intimacy evolved into a strong desire.

Feeling lonely every night,
Without the bottle offering company.

Without any sign from destiny,
A wonderful woman entered my life.

Filling in that missing void,
As the puzzle to happiness is now complete.

Never realizing the exhilarating effects of fondness,
With my soul finally filled with love at age thirty-five.
Umi 37m
A somber feeling, carried by pure agony,
Flowing, drifting, swiftly in the stream of thoughts, as the spilled pieces just have vanished, never to be whole again, or gazed upon,
The pieces of a time crafted in blessed and happy thoughts,
Swaying back and forth, the once illuminated, azure heaven far above is darkening with ominous looking, thick, yet allure thunderclouds,
Perhabs once this sky has cleared up again, this scene will shine just as majestic as it did before, without worry nor care, without pain.
Ah, phantoms.
I would like to lose myself in this wandering fragnance of what used to be a wonderous and amortal spring dream, created in plain fantasy
But after the city already lost its colour to the obscure horizon,
I realised you were no longer here with me,
And the pieces of a past long gone, have cut my skin before vanishing
Chasing a brighter past caused the future, knocking on my door to be dark, yet such emotions made the world I inhabit a cold, lonesome but also a very gentle place,
Even if tomorrow were never to come,
I wouldn't be able to care less,
For now, just let me rest my eyes.

~ Umi
Poem no.170 yay!
revolving doors, going in circles, arriving at the starting point
is the definition of my existence and it never seems to end
I will leave one place and soon enough come back full circle
without fail, without exception, and if so, to a similar place

I turn my head and wonder what is beyond the veil that I have set up for myself so that I should fail
and see that the truth of life lies beyond the veil and I must tear down my own self-destructive construct
wasting no time wandering in my own sense of self-pity; self-pity destroys the resolve to become better
soph 6h
my favorite form of
destruction is on the kitchen floor
in bed
in the hallways
in the soft curve of my back when i listen

i'm only putting together words
that i think sound nice, this is not poetry
this is false flattery, from myself, to myself
this is a form of self harm
this is an attempt to sink my teeth into my skin
to taste my unhappiness, remind myself of it
even when it's  long gone

because how do you
accept love when it is there
and it is true
and it is the first

i have forgotten how to be not unhappy
when i am alright i dig myself a new hole
i find myself a new grave
i dress myself in robes of depression
they do not fit
but i like them, because i am the emperor
these are my new clothes
Lily 8h
You don’t know my mind,
My thoughts, my reasoning
Behind my actions.
What to you may seem selfish
Or simply eccentric,
Is what I need to do
To function, to continue
Breathing without hyperventilating,
Completely breaking down.
So please be patient.
You don’t know what I’m going through.
I’m that chick from the block. Had to do a lot to keep my shit on lock. I keep it 100. I kept it 100. But you, you a bitch. You couldn’t keep it a buck with me. I thought you were something I could mess with for a bit. Here I am waiting for a reply and then wet emojis hit. You’re reading messages and leaving me on seen. Bruhh, we’re not teens anymore we’re grown so wassup? Let me know when you ready to fuck.
I’m that chick from the block that has no shame in her game. I’ll fuck a nigga then leave as soon as I made him came. I ain’t gonna lie on my pussy or tell you to lie on your dick. I keep it 100 and will always admit to the shit I did. If it’s wack I’m gonna say that and if it’s A1 then I might come back around. So wassup nigga? You still playing these games? Wanna keep it on the low and let nobody know? That’s cool with me. Just trying to see what that mouth do and if that dick will make a bitch scream.
We can link up late night on some TLC creep shit. Seen me pictures of that dick so I know what I’m up against. You finally starting to reply because I said we can keep it on the low but it’s cool because everyone is fucking you like you some hoe. That’s why I slid in the DM. I had to see what the fuss was about. Especially once I heard you love to eat pussy with ice in your mouth. Bruhh stop playing and meet at the spot. I’m already here waiting to get all sweaty and hot.
Come into my room. Lock the door behind you. I’m already undressed waiting for you. I don’t like to beat around the bush or waste valuable time. Just drop your boxers and fuck me like you’re all mine. You begin your tricks and I start to moan but when I got on top you begin to explode. I looked down and made a face before I smiled. You was like “damn I ain’t know that’s how you get down”. Boy I told you I’m grown and wanted to fuck on some creep shit.
I’m that chick from the block. The one you can take home to meet your moms but I rather just be on some freak shit. Don’t want a relationship just want you to be 100 with me and fuck me when I need the dick. We grown so ain’t nothing to be ashamed of or to fear. It’s just me and you in this room so bring that ass here.
This is for women who have no shame in telling a man what she wants. It doesn't mean she's a hoe it just means she's not looking for something serious and wants to enjoy life just as men do.
Before my soul had reach maturity I was told to never give a lover my heart
Thus I never did,
Instead I gave them my heart, my soul, and every fibre of my being
For the one whom I fell in love with was no lover, but a soul a divine
When they wanted the world I gave them the universe itself
I do not regret my decision
I have no remorse
For their love and loyalty made it as easy as drawing breathe
Like royalty they received without question
For they have evolved beyond the definition of lover
They are Nirvana

lilhadi 21h
If it looks real and feels real, do you think it matters if it’s real?
- Daniel Nayeri
I fell into a pit of fire and washed myself from you.
I watched how the fire burnt through my skin and peeled back the layer of destruction you created.
I watch my flesh being torn apart and turning black because I made the mistake of choosing you.
You underestimated me, you thought I wouldn't go to such extremes? you thought I would choose the abuse?
you thought you could control me?
you thought...wrong. I was unable to trust,
to love,
to feel...
to live.
Before I begin, I wanted to let you know,
I was kinda young, smart and So.
No one ever looked at me, I wasn’t ‘Normal.’
So I kept being me, ignoring all the Formals.
A year has passed, I’m still a little bit of the same.
I continued on with my life, whenever it came.
Another year goes by, I’ve certainly evolved.
I became more experienced, my stupidity dissolved.
I found out more about myself, and tried to be more involved.
As I enter the next year, I slowly begin to fall.
No one seems to notice me anymore, i’m Just another random phone call.
Soon, people only recognized me for moving so silently,
I’d slowly lose myself in my personal gravity.
And in the end, I slipped from existence and became the one known as,
“Nobody In Society.”
*”Formals” (This was a term me and another friend used on people at our middle school who were in an advanced program known as MERIT. Most were preppy kids and stuff, so we called them “Formals” or a “Formal”)
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