You mugged my heart in the worst way,
You hurt me more than I ever could myself.
You stabbed me with words,
Leaving me silenced.
You made me beg on my knees,
Humiliating me all over again.
But I still forgive you,
By coming back.
I got played by your lies,
Pursuing me with your intentions.
Tracking down my weakest spot,
Taking advantage of my brand new emotion.
You make me mad for your touch.
But most of all, you make me want to die.
I’ve now stopped caring,
Just like the way you never cared.
You keep coming back with you excuses,
But this time you won’t leave with my heart again.
I slammed the door to my heart shut,
I locked it by carrying on.
The past I’ll never forget,
And the future I’ll never let you ruin.
I still can’t forget the scars you’ve given me,
So I’m regretting never hurting you.
You left me alone all the time,
And now I’m never staying.
The night does not reward rebellion,
Feral creatures wait in your heart,
No end will raise your rotten form,
A monster is what you are,
You cast aside the eyes of man,
Buried your body before you ran,
Now close your eyes little demon,
For you dance with the devil tonight,
Slip through the back door by the cemetery gate
You can always come over but til nighttime you wait
You wipe off the lipstick you wore with your guy
So it's easier to kiss me and wish you would die
I watch you drink up cigarettes at 4:40 a.m.
In a nightshirt too sheer with a yellowing hem
Lay my head on your lap, you'll play with my hair
You tell me you love him but you know I don't care
Cause if I am your secret, I have nothing to say
I'm your world in the dark but I'll ruin your day
Your skin is my rose, my hands - thorns at your side
I'll bite you and mark you in spots you can hide
I just want to destroy you, you've asked if I would
But with a gun to your head, I don't think I could
Whether you're screaming my name or eating me out
I only feel alive when inside of your mouth
When you're bare to the bones you let it slip that you're mine
And I'll only believe you by the scratches on my spine
Cause dear God, how you lie, I can't trust your eyes
You're the only one I need and the one I despise
I hate the word "him," you wish you could choose
But the gambling is fun when you have nothing to lose
You're his bottle of whiskey, I'm your hotel room
Your thoughts are like photos, my bed's the darkroom
Now I can't stand the the light, in the morning it twists
Through your skeletal fingers and crumbling wrists
Your touch becomes foreign like someone I knew
I'm a stranger, we agreed, doesn't exist next to you
And to us, it's too true
You don't know my eye color, I can't spell your name
But when you fuck me tonight I'll forget all my shame
After all's said and done, we're still hungry for more
In bodies that don't feel like ours anymore
Your lap is too boney, you hate the color of my hair
I'd whisper I love you but I know you don't care
You know I regret you and you love that I do
Heartache has always been a synonym of you
You live for the torture you cause for your pride
You need others to feel how you're broken inside
You'll forget for a day, I'll forget for a lie
Come back by the graveyard when your willing to die
I am a fool, who fell for love
A wingless angel, from the heaven above
Waited and waiting for the promise virtues
Sitting with the deads among momentary statues
Alone, thinking of the fortress I left behind
For the sake of love and mankind
But no one notices me and neither my deeds
Everyone is so busy with their wants and needs
I pray to thee, to grant my wings back
So I can fly to my realm and be with my pack
Angels have become a myth over here
People laugh at me, when they often hear
Say, am a fool, a mental retard
So shameful of how we are been regard
Beautiful creation is this earth, Dear Lord
But fading away is your righteous teachings and word
I have seen the demons in disguise
Playing like a hardcore dude, pretending to be wise
The hell gates are lose, leaking out the evilness
The untamed beasts, walk out with their wickedness
I have no place of peace but this burial grounds
Where I seek your help Lord, as the darkness surrounds
I am powerless, as my time on earth is finishing
Seen how innocents survive the wrath through punishing
Tonight, I shall have my wings back to flee
Else I'll be dead before I can make another plea...
its the middle of the night
through the glass i see
a face; two eyes
unblinking, staring back at me -
when i see them move in dis-junction;
the eyes stay put
the nose retreats
but the lips separate far enough to inquire
'will you come with me?'
you step out on the frozen lake
and tell me its fine
you have a new helmet
and you want to be free
but im afraid
because i never learned how to skate
the ice is thin
and im afraid
that i weigh too much
that just one step
will sink you down below
where my rope cannot reach
so i stay back
watching you slide
with a gleeful smile from your lips to the cheeks
that never makes it up to your eyes,
its beautiful irony-
but i cannot waste time;
i have to keep you safe
so i push you to my peripheral vision
as i busy myself tying knots in a loop
wide enough to fit your waist in
just the right amount of stable-
i plant my feet firmly on the ground
wishing that they dont give way under me
a breeze flips my hair around
i clear it out of my face
to tell you how wonderful it feels
but somehow i know.
when i hear it whistle,
turn into wind
spinning everything around in circles
knocking you over
picking you up
beating you down like a leaf
whisking you away from me
my wish was too strong-
like the ice
i am frozen in my steps
i curse at the wind
try to throw a loop around your waist
but your arms are flailing far from me
i bargain with the playmakers
'i dont care how solid my strides are
just set my body free!'
surprisingly, they listen
with jelly legs
i jump on the ice;
but the cracks only grow wider
and i gasp in horror
as the ice splits
a stinging reminder of how i went off my diet-
im truly afraid
at what my eyes see;
a pair of skates
bobbing around in the water
a pair of unblinking eyes
staring back at me
i went too far
and not far enough=
im sorry i was too stable
im sorry its too late
to make me see
that all ive ever needed to do
was take skating lessons,
build a raft,
carry a lifeboat-
or just learn to adjust the sails
to keep the wind
from bringing you down with me.
Swallowing all those pills and burning your throat taking seven shots of whiskey never once cured the emptiness that sat in the hole that filled your chest.
It only made you sick and hungover.
Your Mother tried to hold you in her arms and rub your back until you were better but even in that daze, while you’re trying to drown yourself in your tears and spitting up blood, you never forget how numb you feel and you never forgot her name.
There are words buried in the marrow of my bones,
and I have love swimming through my veins.
Nobody understands that since I was 13,
I’ve been using razors as paint brushes and my body as the canvas.
So when they ask me about the scars on my arms, I don’t say much. But in my head, I tell them I was writing poetry.
I saw you, far away
In the dreamscape
But I knew you
Our souls touched
Only for a moment
Did you see me
Did you feel me
Are you here
In the real
Or just an illusion
I felt you
But I don't know you
Yet I do
Dreams fade like smoke
Yet I still feel you
I still seek you
I search every face
As my heart bleeds
Will I find you
Fantasy grips me
As I wish for sleep
To see you again
Find me in the real
My heart ebbs
Waiting for you
A silver thread connects us
Between two worlds
Reach out for me
If only for a moment
Two burning hearts
Lost in time and space
Seeking true love
fireballs of death.
Being alone in the dark is
a quiet spot to think.
A girl smiles to
hide her deceitful lies.
A storm is
a chance to listen to the calming rain.
Climb a mountain then
die on the way back down.
children for life.
stop nation-wide racism.
sting and bite like hawk moths.
let people go to heaven faster.
has to end.
brings us peace.
Darkness and lightness